It's Time For Some New Landmark Legislation

Pet Care Reform

With a total nearly 1% of the US population currently incarcerated, and soon to be expected crop of new criminals in the next four years, it is high time to begin sweeping Pet Care Reform issues.

Currently the expenditures involved with caring for the pets of our nation's criminal element is negligible to non-existent usually consisting of euthanasia to the now helpless pet. However this amount is too low for the unsung heroes of the animal kingdom that were often times the only tenuous grasp on caring that their nefarious, scofflaw owners had.

How many stories have we heard of where human LEO's have used weapons and technology not designed for smaller creatures in reckless abandon over the simple misunderstanding by the pet of this stranger's intentions on their primary caregiver.

In this bill, death panels will be created to deal with those that engage in violent specieist behavior against those on the other side of the language barrier.

We understand that such costs for providing needed care will be expensive. We also know that the root cause for illegal activity in people stem from violating government made laws. So under this law 2% of directly paid income of all government officials will be withheld to accommodate this reform. In addition 20%-25% of all bribes, kickbacks, bought votes, earmarked pork and other indiscretionary spending will be assessed to real financial value and appropriated for Pet Care.

For purposes of this bill, normal constitutional steps will be suspended in order to facilitate greater efficiency in participation so it is already law as you are reading. Opponents have called this a bailout to doggie daycare. This is simply not true. This bill covers cat care as well as birds, fish, rodents and some insects and arachnids. Those decriers will be dealt with by the death panels soon enough.