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Phoebe 'bullied to death'

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posted on Apr, 10 2010 @ 12:47 PM
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reply to post by rusethorcain
 


I found the Phoebe incident so heartbreaking, and i can't understand why no one stud up for her. I wish i was there for her in some kind of way.

I heart totally goes out to her and her family. It's ridiculous that she was hated because she went out with a boy.




posted on Aug, 15 2010 @ 04:44 PM
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reply to post by Dock9
 

Dock, your post received a star from me. You really have an acute insight into this problematic issue.

My nine year old grand daughter when asked if she liked school said "not anymore, the girls voted I was second prettiest so I was popular but than I refused to pull a prank on Ruth who was the second ugliest, fat and most unpopular girl and now the popular girls won't eat lunch with me or even talk to me, they laugh at me and talk about me, I'm no longer popular and the teacher doesn't care. Now everyone treats me like Ruth."

Hello, where is the teacher. My grand daughter said she tried to tell the teacher but the teacher called her a snitch.

My grand daughter is 9 and this has affected her profoundly.

I have been bullied at work for over a decade now by a tyrannical boss, but my job is soon to be outsourced, "thank god" and I can't wait to have this jerk out of my life. I will retire early and leave the bullies far behind for the first time in my 58 years of life.

I've bought my grand daughter a couple books on bullying and the next time we are together plan to read and discuss this very issue further with her.

My experience has been that the kids that bully come from parents that bullied and it must be stopped.

How to stop it, well the teachers have got to start to care, watch closely for it and take immediate action against this.

Bullying and the allowing of it affects all of us profoundly.

Ever wonder about those shootings at Columbine or the work people that "go postal"?

It's often times the end result of bullying perpetrated over and over and over day in and day out for years on someone and everyone else sees it and does nothing, they look away and am glad it isn't affecting them.

Read my signature.

While I do not condone violence of any kind or excuse it, I'll wager the kids that did the shooting had just reached their endurance point, had no where to turn and having no other recourse went crazy, because as my grand daughter said, "the teachers don't care, they see it and don't stop it".

Oftentimes it is the person, (children and adults alike) that know how to socially manipulate people that get away with bullying the less socially naive ones that can't defend themselves. (social IQ)

If somebody seeing another person being bullied doesn't stop it, they are in a sense allowing it.

Well the shootings at schools and the workplaces are the end result.

Someone has got to care and stop it.

Same goes for bullying in the work place.

As stated before, I have undergone massive, horrendous bullying because of my hearing defect, even been made fun of and human resources doesn't care, they don't want to hear it.

I am not a violent or nutty postal person,I just go home and have a glass of wine to settle my nerves and cry in my pillow, but once I am outsouced, I will be free of my boss and happy, truely happy.

I am glad I will no longer have to bow to the red queen.

There are millions upon millions of people being bulllied.

My oldest son joined a gang so he would stop being bullied, where were the teachers? They looked the other way.

It cost me $110,000 (a second mortagage to save my son).

I have gotten four good books on this subject and they have helped ease some of the problem.

They are:

Bully In Sight by Tim Field
Mobbing Emotional Abuse in the American Workplace by Noa Davenport, Ruth Distler Schwartz and Gail Pursell Ellitott
The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense by Suzette haden Elgin and Political Ponerology by Andrew M. Lobaczewski

The last book explains what is happening on a world wide scale and discusses the true nature of evil and One psychopath can terrorize an entire town, even an entire city. The majority of normal people are now ruled by a minority of psychopaths and they have basically made our governments criminal networks. Criminal governments. Those working for these governments are now working for what basically is a criminal enterprise and they don't see it because they are in it and profit by it, yet it is these people who are determining our future and the future of our children.

Mankind is becoming a willing slave to the pathocratic structures created by the inhuman obsessive greed of this small percentage of humanity that cannot feel conscience. This book is a MUST READ. Only by knowing what we are dealing with can we do anything about it without going in circles. We are dealing with an intelligent predator that feeds on the soul of humanity.

If someone is a square peg and not willing to fit in that round hole they are hammered.

And it begins the minute a child begins his first day at school.

A bully is a person with a psychopathic narcissism personality and there seem to be a lot them running around.

It has now become acceptably cute, with the acceptace of ghetto culture to exhibit this cruel, me first personality trait.

Meanwhile people keep remaining apathetic until it personally affects them.

Political Ponerology by Andrew M. Lobaczewski



What is bullying?
Bullying is persistent unwelcome behaviour, mostly using unwarranted or invalid criticism, nit-picking, fault-finding, also exclusion, isolation, being singled out and treated differently, being shouted at, humiliated, excessive monitoring, having verbal and written warnings imposed, and much more. In the workplace, bullying usually focuses on distorted or fabricated allegations of underperformance. Click here for definitions of workplace bullying.

Why do people bully?
The purpose of bullying is to hide inadequacy. Bullying has nothing to do with managing etc; good managers manage, bad managers bully. Management is managing; bullying is not managing. Therefore, anyone who chooses to bully is admitting their inadequacy, and the extent to which a person bullies is a measure of their inadequacy. Bullies project their inadequacy on to others:

a) to avoid facing up to their inadequacy and doing something about it;
b) to avoid accepting responsibility for their behaviour and the effect it has on others, and,
c) to reduce their fear of being seen for what they are, namely a weak, inadequate and often incompetent individuals, and,
d) to divert attention away from their inadequacy - in an insecure or badly-managed workplace, this is how inadequate, incompetent and aggressive employees keep their jobs.

A bully is a person who

has never learnt to accept responsibility for their behaviour
wants to enjoy the benefits of living in the adult world, but who is unable and unwilling to accept the responsibilities that are a prerequisite for being part of the adult world.
abdicates and denies responsibility for their behaviour and its consequences (abdication and denial are common features of bullying)
is unable and unwilling to recognise the effect of their behaviour on others
does not want to know of any other way of behaving
is unwilling to recognise that there could be better ways of behaving.
Bullying is obsessive and compulsive; the serial bully has to have someone to bully and appears to be unable to survive without a current target.
Source: (excellent site) www.bullyonline.org...








And get this, the people who bully are psychopaths, they have no remorse, no feeling, no empathy for anyone but themself.

And to stand by and allow another human to be bullied is wrong wrong wrong.

This is one of the major reasons our planet is so mucked up.

May Phoebe rest in peace and my her essence go to a more hospitable place.

[edit on 15-8-2010 by ofhumandescent]



posted on Aug, 16 2010 @ 06:53 AM
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I think a few members are looking at this issue from the wrong angle, mainly the ATS members from "harsher" generations. It is true that in many ways, elder generations had things tougher and were not as "bubble-wrapped" by their parents as kids seem to be these days. The thing is that Bullying as a Social Problem has escalated in many ways compared to the past. Whereas it was much easier to physically Bully others in the past, it has become much easier to psychologically Bully others today.

I'm not sure how many people in this thread have experienced Psychological Bullying to a point where they have felt so hopeless and lonely that they wanted to take their own lives...but it is a feeling that no child should have to endure. These are not adults that have had the life experiences and time to build resilience and deal with criticism and ridicule. These are kids developing and maturing; how they are treated and how they see others treated are very likely to influence the way they see and treat others in adulthood.

[edit on 16/8/2010 by Dark Ghost]



posted on Aug, 16 2010 @ 07:45 AM
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I think the reason bullying is getting worse and suicides are happening because of it more frequently is because bullies are getting more aggressive. My little cousin in grade one was being called a F%g and was being physically beaten up told to F#ck off and Die... Grade 1 and these kids are saying hurtful comments like this, 6-7 and its this bad already imagine what they will be like in 8 years when they are in high-school.

Don't get me wrong we all have been bullied, but now a days there's less family support. With higher divorces, both parents working. Girls have it especially hard with the media showing stick figure air brushed women who have a size 0 waist and boobs like Barbie. For boys they all have to grow up being macho and tough or else they are sissies or gay. If you compare an ad from 1940's for woman's clothing to an ad now look at the differences.

1937




To today's photo shopped ads like this Ralph lauren photoshop disaster.





posted on Oct, 17 2013 @ 04:39 AM
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reply to post by rusethorcain
 


Terrorism? GIve me a break. That sheriff needs to take those girls back home to their parents with an apology, and the prosecutor needs to drop these ridiculous charges.

I'm sorry, but if people are "bullying" you on social media sites, then turn them off, or unfriend them, stop using the damn apps....whatever you gotta do. You don't have to seek out the drama. You don't have to read the posts.

When a teen commits suicide, it's because of underlying mental health problems. You can't blame bullies, or claim that 2 other teens drove her to anything. THis is a mother who doesn't want to accept responsibility for ignoring her daughter's problems (um, excuse me...ran away? cut writs? and you had no idea that she was going through any problmes? Really?) and a idiot sheriff with a vendetta against teen bullying, probably because she was bullied when she was a teen and hasn't gotten over it.

Aside from that, and I'm sorry, I know girls are sensitive and that words hurt, but I can't for the life of me find anything that was said that was so bad, honeslty. I heard MUCH worse...MUCH MUCH MUCH worse, on a daily basis for years until I hit my growth spurt and had a hanfull of friends to kick it with.

We need to toughen up as a country if we're gonna make it, people. So what if someone doesn't like you...gues what? not everyone is going to like you ( no matter how perfect your mommy thinks you are)...get used to it. If someone says some junk online, either give it right back to them tenfold or ignore it...plain and simple. Your life doesn't revolve around social media, and if it does, grow a thicker skin.

-AGENTX7777



posted on Oct, 17 2013 @ 04:41 AM
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reply to post by Xiamara
 


the problem with that statement is that bullying ISN"T getting worse and that bullyies AREN"T getting more aggressive. THere's just media hype every time someone committs suicide and their parents try to blame it on bullying. That's all it is...don't believe the media hype. Teen suicides aren't skyrocketing and there aren't a neew breed of superbullies out there terrorizing anyone. T



posted on Oct, 17 2013 @ 04:44 AM
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reply to post by Dark Ghost
 


if a kid that has been bullied is seriously thinking about ending it, then they have psychological problems that needed to be addressed by a professional....problems that would have existed even if there were no such thing as bullies.

Seriously, you can't blame bullies for a suicide. Unless they were there when she jumped off the bridge and egged her on and gave her a encouragement push or whatever, you can't blame bullies.



posted on Oct, 17 2013 @ 05:00 AM
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AgentX7777
if a kid that has been bullied is seriously thinking about ending it, then they have psychological problems that needed to be addressed by a professional....problems that would have existed even if there were no such thing as bullies.


Agreed. Although, bullying can definitely contribute to psychological problems or escalate them to a point where somebody will do something to feel relief from the pain they are experiencing.


Seriously, you can't blame bullies for a suicide. Unless they were there when she jumped off the bridge and egged her on and gave her a encouragement push or whatever, you can't blame bullies.


I didn't state nor imply that the bullies should be implicated for her suicide, not sure where you got that from in my previous reply.


edit on 17/10/2013 by Dark Ghost because: (no reason given)



posted on Oct, 17 2013 @ 05:13 AM
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Back in the 80's I was a victim too in school, I was the smallest of our class and with astma
and I had very strict parents.
Most of our class had expensive clothing and could do whatever they want.

Back then we had no social media....
I would not want to relive that nowdays with the technology available.



posted on Oct, 17 2013 @ 08:15 AM
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reply to post by ShilohGirl
 


What do you mean "something needs to be done?" What are you gonna do, start filing criminal charges on everyone that someone claims is bullying them? Look, I understand that when you look back on everything that went down at school, the bullying is the stuff that stands out as the absolute worst. And true, some of my teachers were the biggest bullies! But you do learn life lessons from it, and you do learn not to trust as many people (and, hopefully, not to post so much # online).

You know what I learned? Keep your personal relationships (meaning dating) private. That means, every hug, kiss, flutter of the eyelids...keep it between you and the other person, that way, nobody can hit you where it hurts most and all that. But, if you're the person that has to flaunt every little thing about your new beau and rub it into everyone's faces (including people that were trying to date them or just got out of relationship with) then you better learn to toughen up, because people ain't going to be nice when it comes to that #. You can guarantee that they'll say the meanest possible things in the most unfair way, all while pretending to be friends with you and stabbing you in the back...

if you ask me, all that cyber-bullying, online trash talking blah blah blah...I treat it as fantasy land stuff...like video games or something. It ain't real. SOmeone says something bad about me...they aren't talking about me...they're talking about the avatar-fiction video game guy. Let them waste their time posting nonsense that nobody believes anyway...while I'm out making them look like idiots on the scene.,



posted on Oct, 17 2013 @ 08:23 AM
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reply to post by Dark Ghost
 


No, you didn't say it...but that's the elephant in the room, now isn't it. 9-11 teenagers...KIDS, mind you, are facing CRIMINAL CHARGES because a girl who's mom is clueless and should have gotten her help killed herself. The stuff they are charging them with is ludicrious, and it's actually a gross violation of their civil rights.

I know I'm not going to make any friends with this one, but the real people that need everyone in their corner ain't the family of the deceased, nor is it all the bullied teens out there who are crying themselves to sleep. The people getting screwed over are the kids that are getting indicted and put into the juvenile system, treated like criminals, and who's lives are potentially ruined now that most of their names are spread all over the internet, where there is no evidence of criminal conduct other than some dog-ugly sherrif's flapping gums...talking about "relentless" bullying and "stalking." The conduct doesn't even come close to stalking or any other type of harasssment. We still have the first amendment in this country, an d you''re still allowed to have an opinion and write about it online...you don't have to be nice to everyone, and if someone steals or sleeps with your boyfriend and you think she's a ugly, fat cow who needs to kill herself, you're allowed to say that #. PERIOD.



posted on Oct, 17 2013 @ 08:27 AM
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reply to post by Titen-Sxull
 


she wasn't raped....now you're just believing whatever you hear on the internet. Nobody raped her. She had sex with a few guys....and I think...just maybe (big newsflash here)...that may have had something to do with the alleged "bullying..." Just saying....could be.

But no, she wasn't raped. The "statutory rape" charges are bogus, and basically what happens when a 17 year old has sex with his 16 year old girlfriend...nobody ever files charges for that stuff, but when you have a vendetta like this sheriff does, apparently, you have to pad up the indictments to make them look really bad because all of the gullible retards on the internet just hear "suicide, bully" and believe whatever you tell them.



posted on Oct, 17 2013 @ 08:32 AM
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reply to post by rusethorcain
 


grow up and come over to the real world...out of your little fantasy bubble...

if you're really this fragile, then you better find your own island to live on, because people don't tippy toe around your emotions all day, and if you can't figure out how to learn from it and become either 1) smarter, 2) stronger, or 3) better at doing it to them before they do it to you, then you're never have a life; people around you will control you because you let them have so much influence on you. I don't believe most of what you say though....I think it's all just a part of trying to make it seem so bad so this story isn't exposed for the bull# that it really is.



posted on Oct, 17 2013 @ 08:40 AM
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reply to post by rusethorcain
 


THe "others" that didn't "turn out right," weren't right to begin with, and it wasn't the bullying that cause it. People who committ suicide have underlying mental illness...self esteem issues, manic depression, sometimes even more severe like scitzophrenia...people with mental illnesses can also think things are happening to them that arent, or, they refuse to see what role they played in the mess that they are in, and blame the world...or "bullies"

What we "need" to do is to fight for the real victims here...those 11 teens that are facing criminal charges and who are having their lives ruined as we speak...being accused of driving a girl to kill herself and charged with stalking by some out of control sheriff, and apparently, some nitwit prosecutor. Seriously...doesn't anyone else see that the real abuse is coming from the government entity that is allowing these criminal charges to be brought? ANyone ever hear of the first amendment? Yeah....you aren't required to be nice to everyone, and you are allowed to post your opinion of someone if you don'e like them and think they should kill themselves...that's your right as United States Citizen. WAKE UP PEOPLE>



posted on Oct, 17 2013 @ 08:42 AM
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reply to post by ItsAgentScully
 


Please...everyone that was bulllied even the tiniest amount claims to have been bullied "a lot" or that it was just SOOOOOO bad. I'm really getting sick of it.

And how do you know that nobody stuck up for her? And to what extent is someone supposed to "stick up for someone" where it's just another person or group of people that don't like her? I'd stick up for her and give her the best adivce she's ever gotten....ready? IGNORE THEM>



posted on Oct, 17 2013 @ 01:33 PM
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reply to post by AgentX7777
 


Hi AgentX7777.

Just curious - do you have children?



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