Parents forcing me back into illusion

Advice: dont ask others for advice. If you dont hear what you want to hear, you wont take it anyway.

while i live mine with the morals of the higher dimensions of love & light. Live and let live is my motto. My parents force me to do things against my will such as go certain places, do certain things, and spend time with them

You sure you're living with 'love and light'? If you were, you'd do what every religious teaching has said and love thy parents, you dont get to pick them, you just have to accept them for who they are.

They grew up in a different time and have been exactly where you are now, its usually YOU who needs to have more understanding, but when you're a teenager you feel every one else has no clue and you know the 'truth'. And I can tell by your new age speak. Its garbage. I went through a 'transcendentalist' phase...

I feel that i have come here to help my family move into the higher dimensions

There's ya problem. Saviour complex. You're not here to save people. Everyone chooses their own path. Life is about compromise. You and your parents need to find middle ground. neither of you can control the other.

I repeat: you need to be the one to reach out to them. It is hard because younger people always feel they're entitled. But you sound intelligent. You can figure out that you're the one who needs to be flexible, so that you can sway in the wind rather than get knocked down by it... start by going in to their 'world', then when comfortable bring them in to your world. UNDERSTANDING IS KEY.

first, with your parents...
ask yourself, what exactly are the activities that your parents are trying to drag you into?
i mean, I cannot think of much of anything (thats legal) that they can drag you too that you will not take something (even small) away from.

do NOT, ever ever ever discuss your "spirituality" with your parents and/or friends. they WILL think that you are a nuttcase... you have got to figure, your parents are at least twice your age (do not know you personally), what ever beliefs that they hold, are NOT going to change. only discuss your spirituality when asked by someone genuinely interested.

Like I have said in previous post, you (as how you view the world around you, and how the world around you views you) reminds me so much of me at your age, sooo
This is the part of the post, where i start assuming things... You know what they say when people assume things right???

you are hearing alot of, "its saturday night, you should be out doing things with friends, high school is supposed to be the funniest time of your life", etc...

for me, it took, "mom, do you have any idea what the kids my age are out doing right now???, they are drinking and experimenting with drugs. I do not want to be a part of that"

that at least got her off of my back about it for a while, while it appeared that she took it as an excuse to be anti-social. guess what though? I am now 28, last week in a phone conversation with my mother, she said, "do you remember when you said this to me?, I was so proud of you." even though it appeared to not make much of an impact, it stuck with her for 12 years, so I believe that it really did...

something else that I might suggest that you do... do you have a boys club in your area?? if so, go in, introduce yourself, and tell them that you would like a volunteer some of your time. when I was younger, they had a program called lean on me. It is basically like a big brother program. doesn't take too much of your time, with me, it was 2 hours every wednesday evening, going in, and simply playing games, paying attention to whomever is assigned to you. it could even be being a coaches assistant. your time is worth more than any monetary donation that you could ever give. plus, it really doesn't hurt to have it as a reference for college applications to show how well rounded you are. Non court ordered community service for the win!!!

keep in mind, its perfectly fine to to grow away from your parents spiritually just keep it to yourself. do not grow apart from parents physically and emotionally, however, you never know when you are going to need them.
i promise you, 8-10 years down the road, your relationship with your parents will be totally different. things that you never thought you would be able to discuss with them, you will. mistakes that you make, that you think they will be disappointed in you, they will be surprisingly understanding. stay in there dude...

I hear ya, firstly their conscern is based on love so their intent is well they just arent informed enough to get the means perfect, you will outgrow your parents sooner or later but 16 is a bit young, they may still have wisdom you can absorb.

More importantly as the energy changes build you're creating your own reality much more. So when you say why are they so materialistic? why dont they wake up? You can drop the word why and the question mark out of the sentences and thats exactly what is happening. You get what you think you'll get in a sense. So if you have no viable choice but to stay with them attempt to recreate the reality you experience by believing and trusting in the creator and finding everything about them that is not materialistic and focusing on that, ignore the material aspects, and believe in the process because it may take a while to undo the old reality, but sure enough you will notice a change.

Moss, you sound like a wonderful and insightful young lady. You have recieved much wisdom from other ATS members that I hope you ponder for a while. Having lost my Dad and knowing that my elderly Mother is in her last years, all I can say is love and appreciate your parents while you still can. There are many things that you can do on your own, but try to spend some quality time with those who love you the most. Hugs and best wishes. _Lorri

OP --- my advice would be to make a note in your diary to return to this forum (if it's still here) when you're say, 35 to 40 years of age

(and keep hard-copy of your current posts in this forum, too)


It will be interesting (for you, more than anyone else) for you to compare your beliefs of now -- with those of later, when you've spent 20 years or so in the world, on your own

By then, you'll very probably have children of your own

You (if you're on your own) and/or they (if you become a parent yourself) will very definitely require 'material things', even if they're basic shelter and regular food, water supply

You may, if you wish, impose your own values upon your childen

For example, you might raise your children outdoors (under a tree, perhaps) which would require them to dig holes when they wanted to defecate

You might expect your children to live off the land, which would consume much of your own and their time in pursuit of edible berries, grasses, seeds, etc

You might raise your children to accept they cannot access technologies which you consider 'materialistic' -- in which case you and they will require to pitch your wild-wood camp close to water in order to bathe & wash such clothing as you possess. No phone or internet or electric light. Open fire to boil water and cook, etc.

Eventually, you'll be compelled to address the issue of your offsprings' education. You could home-school them, of course, which would consume much of your time and energy. If you decide your children might benefit from at least a few years' formal education, they'll be placed at decided disadvantage when they attempt to mix with children from more conventional homes -- picture children dressed in woven grass with a little pouch of seeds and berries ?

Very probably, if you choose a non-materialistic lifestyle for yourself and your children, you'll discover your children will reject it and you. For a time, at least

Only later, perhaps when they have children of their own, might they appreciate your attempts to instill in them non-materialistic beliefs and values -- just as you claim to reject what you consider to be your own parents' 'materialism'

Your parents had a life before you were born. And their lives will continue when you depart their roof. They were not born *as* parents, nor were they born simply to be your parents. They have lives of their own. You are merely a part of their life's journey. You might be surprised by the choices they make, once they're no longer responsible for maintaining your lifestyle. They might retire to Sedona, for example, or take up painting, sculpture or dedicate some time to hands-on work in the 3rd world. Your inheritance (which I'm sure right now you'll claim not to want) might be spent instead on fostering orphans from Iraq

I know someone who, as a young woman, portrayed herself as a free-spirit. She came to our home several times a week as a teenager, to bemoan her parents and what she believed to be their 'materialistic' values, so on and so on ....

You'll smile at this (I hope) because once that girl's parents were freed from the responsibilitiy of providing for their offspring --- guess what they did ? You'll love it ! Those 'materialistic' parents spent basically every penny they possesed on a huge tract of virgin bushland and when all the planning depts. had been satisfied, they erected a dam in a gorge on their land. It wasn't a huge dam, by any means. But it provided a much-needed water-supply for native animals and birds in that drought-stricken region. Then, using their backs and hands and their remaining monies, they erected log-cabin type chalets where, for a fee, corporate types could conduct bonding and other seminars in a natural bush setting. When the cabins were empty, families with disadvantaged and disabled children were invited to spend a week, in peace, for free

The last time I spoke with their daughter (the one who'd bemoaned her parents' values) she was a parent herself and expressed her fury with her parents for 'squandering her inheritance on that stupid alternate-lifestyle money-pit'

My husband and I visited her parents a few years ago. Quite an experience. But worth it to see the parents, both white haired, lined of face but smiling naturally ... no artifice, as smoke curled up from the chimney of their hand-built home and the sun set behind the mountains. There were dream-catchers and bits of stained-glass dangling from verandahs and native-birds galore. Their furniture consisted of random 'interesting' pieces they'd picked up at the local tip and reworked. They made their own bread, grew their own food. Their hands were masterpieces in testimoney to human-toil. They had next to nothing but appeared very fulfilled. And they said, without complaint, that they seldom heard from their daughter these days. She was too busy working to pay for her 4 x wheel and standard suburban home

Soon, you'll set out on your own life's journey. You'll need to sell someone your skills and time, for example, in order to pay your own electricity and ISP bills so that you can do something as simple as post online. Unless you opt to utilize free library (or perhaps your future employers') internet access. Which will mean someone else will be paying your way.

In order to eat, you'll need to grow your own food or sell your time and skills to buy basic foodstuffs. You'll need a place to return to each night, to shower and clean your clothes and sleep, for example. All the material comforts you take for granted now are things you'll have to provide for yourself, in a short time

Hopefully, you'll be able to arrange a life for yourself that doesn't betray your ideals. That, on its own, is a considerable undertaking and quite an achievement, if you manage to pull it off

In the meantime, you might ease up on judgement of your parents. For your own sake, most of all. Because, remember, you're going to have to read the opinions you hold of your parents today --- later, when you're their age

Best wishes

reply to post by mossme89


Everything you're doing is good intention. I have found that the only way to help d, is to love and not judge.

Not everyone is ready to make the change so you have to respect them and love them anyway. Do not try to change people. Change yourself and the rest will follow.


For the rest of your life, learn compassion. That is embracing all things, plus or negative. It is only love, compassion and understanding that brings the blind out of the darkness.


[edit on 28-3-2010 by manbird12000]

Well,I think you should reject materialism and all it represents now.

Give that computer you are on right now ,that your materialistic parents probably bought for you, back to them.

Tell them you are not in to material things any more.

They will be so happy to hear that for sure.

If they give you money for spending, refuse it,it is so materialistic to have money on your possession.

Tell them to take your bed out of your room because those who live in a less materialistic world like 3rd world countries don't have one.

Be sure to tell them that you don't want "materialistic" new clothing,that used clothing from a thrift store or just dug out of the trash will be just fine.

In closing,enjoy and respect your parents while you are still young.

You never know how much time on this earth you have left with them.

They could walk out the door tomorrow and you may never see them alive again...............

My two daughters would give up everything they own just to see their mother again.

She walked out the door and we never saw her alive again.

Young lady your parents are not forcing you "back into the illusion",they are wanting you to see reality.

This is what happens when young people spend to much time on these web sites and the internet in general.

[edit on 26-4-2010 by Oneolddude]

Your life has only started and it is a long journey...enjoy the next few years with your parents and then you will be on your own path as you see it. No need to hurry and everything has a purpose…


And do not get so caught up with yourself.... ever...

Just remember that you have already helped them. They are no longer materialistic. This is already the higher density. You DO NOT need to channel energy through meditation. You are made of pure energy, there is nothing else. Everything else is deception.

Metta meditation, and mindfulness those are the only tools you need to possess.

There is a LOT of good information on this website, but there is also a lot of bad information. It's hard to determine what is good information and what is not. I sometimes struggle to discern the nutcase-posts from the truth, as I am sure you do too. Read all you can, but take it all in with a grain of salt, cause a lot of it is complete BS.

You should try to discuss your beliefs with your parents as much as you can. I am sure that your parents will entertain any philosophical discussion that you wish to have, but do not come off condescending and try to tell them to not be "materialistic", as if you are so much wiser and more enlightened than them.

Imagine the feeling you would get if you had a 10 year old little sister that tried to tell you that your beliefs and values are wrong and that you should adopt a different way of life. You would think that your little sister is simply ignorant. You are older, smarter, wiser, and have more experience to form stronger, better beliefs.


My ASSUMPTIONS:

Since you are 16, write well, and contribute to philosophical discussions, I imagine you are smarter than most of your classmates. You probably feel that they are of inferior intellect, maybe your parents included. I'd also assume that your parents merely wish that you would live a "normal" teen life. Hanging out with friends, gossiping on the phone about dresses and boys, that sort of thing. Seems that they feel "sad" for you that you are missing out on these things. Maybe you are. Maybe you arent. But tell them how you feel, tell them you are happy, if you are, but you seem to be...

Wish i had more time to elaborate on some things but its time i leave for class.

Good luck.