Drunk Man Attempts to Resuscitate Rotting Dead Possum

You know, I would love to be able to fashion this story into a parable for Healthcare Reform, but the story stands on its own... This is astonishing.

Drunk Man Attempts to Resuscitate Rotting Dead Possum

State police have charged a central Pennsylvania man with public drunkenness after he was seen giving mouth-to-mouth "resuscitation" to a long-dead opossum along a highway.

Trooper Jamie Levier says several witnesses saw 55-year-old Donald Wolfe, of Brookville, near the animal along Route 36 in Oliver Township Thursday about 3 p.m. The trooper says one person saw Wolfe kneeling before the animal and gesturing as though he were conducting a seance, while another saw the mouth-to-mouth attempt.

Levier says Wolfe was "extremely intoxicated" and "did have his mouth in the area of the animal's mouth, I guess."

I'm working images in my head of a delusional Barack Obama trying to breathe life and health into this rotting, fetid healthcare reform legislation.

— Doc Velocity






[edit on 3/27/2010 by Doc Velocity]

Hmmmm...

let me see here

We have a drunk guy.

We have a dead opossum.

We have police stopping the drunk man from giving it mouth to mouth.

I sure hope there is some way to make this about Obama because that makes way too much sense.

Maybe, Just meaybe he couldn't tell the difference between the Possum and his wife...

The Rotting Possum might of even smelled the same as his wife. You never know...

Lucky for him that the Health care bill was passed. He may need to use his "New Found Health Care"..

[edit on 27-3-2010 by Damian-007]

reply to post by Doc Velocity


I just woke up and read this thread.

I'm telling you, I never laughed so hard in my life.

This world has gone mad I tell you!

Thanks for the good laugh Doc, I needed that.

~ Zeus

This world has gone mad I tell you!

So right, check out this odd story. They jacked the pizza guy for his pizza, not his money, then the SWAT team was called out. Seriously, both stories deserve a huge WOW from me. I've done some messed up things in my drinking years but never tried to resuscitate a opossum nor did I ever jack a pizza guy.

Roadkill cpr, what a concept. Guy must have been really hungry is all I can think and wanted some fresh meat. I'll also go out on a limb and guess he was so drunk he didn't realize how dead the opossum was. It's things like this that make me realize how much I don't miss alcohol in my life. Who needs crap like this, huh?

Yeah, we've all gone mad, bonkers, wonky, frakking insane. I picked the nick Loony as I thought I was odd. No more I think that as it's clear everyone else are mad. I'm rather sane in comparison to most. And to boot, they brought out the SWAT team for two guys who robbed a pizza. Tell me that's not madness.

ANCHORAGE, Alaska -- Police say a plot to steal a delivery man's pizza brought out a SWAT team in Alaska.

Police spokesman Lt. Dave Parker says a man trying to deliver a pizza order Sunday night was confronted outside a northeast Anchorage home by a man with a gun and a stick. He says three other people attacked him from behind, grabbed the pizza but ran away without taking his money.

Police say the delivery man then followed one of the attackers, a girl, to a home where police arrested her. They say the other suspects then barricaded themselves in the home, prompting authorities to call in a SWAT team that entered the property.

Joseph Nicalaskey and Cesar Alvarez-Jennings, both 19, and two girls were arrested on charges of robbery and assault. The names of the girls were not released.

www.washingtonpost.com...

Originally posted by Doc Velocity
You know, I would love to be able to fashion this story into a parable for Healthcare Reform,

I think you can, here I'll help you.
Drunk Man Attempts to Resuscitate Rotting Dead Possum

State police have charged a central Pennsylvania man with public drunkenness after he was seen giving mouth-to-mouth "resuscitation" to a long-dead opossum along a highway.

Maybe you could relegate the police in the article to being Post Bush massive trade deficit, engaged in two wars killing thousands of Americans, filibuster addicted anti-progressive republicans and you could cast the opossum as the millions of American People, tired and scared by economic doomsayers and still unable to afford basic healthcare even thought they live in the Capital of the free world, the worlds richest country. You could place Obama as a man drunk on the influence of Democracy who actually thinks he might be able to do some good, Only to be arrested by the Police(Post Bush massive trade deficit, who emmersed your country engaged in two wars killing thousands of Americans costing billions, filibuster addicted anti progressive republicans) who couldn't give a damn about the opossum( millions of Americans unable to afford basic healthcare).

And you could typecast your self as the A-hole that thinks it might actually be a funny if you make it into a some kind of satirical political analogy.

les the drunk guy think he has special powers. was he really hurting someone that much that he needed to get arrested? wow... to me thats infringing on his persuite of happiness.

[edit on 27-3-2010 by Myendica]

reply to post by Doc Velocity


I guess this thought never crossed your mind?
Or the State cops. LOL


Why You Believe What You Do and How to Change Your Reality ...
Chances are high you've never French kissed a possum but after consulting your " files" on French kissing and possums, you might have the reaction of "yuk! ...
kahunka.com/original-articles/why-you-believe-what-yo... - Similar



[edit on 27-3-2010 by Donny 4 million]