Men prefer the company of other men - why is that?

Originally posted by Yissachar1
But will never feel so safe as I do with my wife... Hence whys she and my kids come first... She fights for us every day and so will I... That is what being a man is about; loving your wife..

I agree with you on this Yissachar1. When I'm with my woman, it seems the meaning of life and what it means to be a man becomes a whole lot clearer.

IRM

great thread really interesting

I prefer the company of my dog or isolation over prolonged interaction with either gender. On average I've had my fill of company after about an hour. Talking reduces my tolerance threshhold to about 3 minutes.


Posted Via ATS Mobile: m.abovetopsecret.com

reply to post by halfoldman


I'd second that! I've had many fights with my best mates (usually afetr a drink!) and 5 inutes later we're best pals again. I even caught my best mate engaged with some drunken activity with an ex once, beat the sh*te out of him, then took him down the hospital to get patched up and walked him home!

Guys hang out with guys because we like the same stuff and can engage in activities and conversation that you cannot with the ladies. I prefer hanging out with my best mate to women, they're so damn bitchy! But I do like to come home after a day at the office (full of blokes - not many women do our job) and see the missus. It's a balance thing.

Originally posted by harrytuttle
And lastly, bros before hoes.

Harrytuttle you calling us ladies hoes?

Originally posted by findlesticks
rcwj1975 I love what you have written and it makes sense but please do not under estimate the female understanding of mantalk and his interests, not all of us girlies are interested in feminine stuff, I personally love doing all my own DIY, I have always participated in fixing my own vehicle, I ride a Motorbike, have been in the reserve forces and spent time in a jungle.

Oh I don't underestimate that some women sure can talk about anything we discuss, but the majority do not, or cannot. Is that bad or a knock on them...no. I love a woman who can field strip my M4 and Glock, load it, and hold her own...or throw on a pack and come hiking all day..and there are plenty that can, but again I think I simply meant there are more women interested in Desperate Housewives, Clothing, and Brad Pitt then Glocks, Nature, and Porn...lol.

Man things are more interesting, I find men more interesting than women to talk to as you guys have more exciting things to play with and do, as a kid I used to hang out in the woods, climb trees, go home covered in mud and play starwars. I was always jealous of all the remote control stuff you boys had!

There is a reason they have the saying, "boys and their toys"

reply to post by LiveForever8


Me, too! I much more prefer the company of women. They generally smell better and are much easier on the eyes. I suppose this might have something to do with me being raised by my mother, without much imput from my father and living with 3 sisters and no brothers. However, I have a stepbrother and I enjoy his company. He's quite funny. My stepsister? Ugh. What a whiner.

Now, though, I enjoy spending time with my ole pop, much more than my mom.

Besides, while growing up, I got into too much trouble hanging out with the guys.

reply to post by halfoldman


S & F for a well-articulated OP and relevant and intersting thread topic

It used to be called being 'a man's man', didn't it ?

I railed against it with all my might, with my first boyfriend
as in, ' You have meeeeeeee --- why do you need them ?' Sob, stamp foot, discuss with girlfriends endlessly

We girls were 'car widows', 'golf and sport widows' etc. -- and we weren't even married to them ! What sort of husbands and fathers were they going to make, we asked, if they couldn't stay away from their mates for even a weekend ? What was wrong with them ? They had us ! So why did they need to hang around with each other so often ? Why did they even try to arrange for us to go out away for a weekend in mixed groups ? Whom did they love -- us, their girlfriends -- or each other ?

But then my father preferred male company, too. He was happier with a group of men than with his wife and kids. We knew it. You could tell by his voice, the way he laughed, the expression on his face. And although he loved women until the end of his life (in his 80s and days from death, he asked my brother if the pretty little nurse whose task it was to attend to the most intimate functions of his body was doing it out of 'duty' -- or because she was more than fond of him. Lol. That's the male for you) he preferred the uncomplicated company of men

Over time, I grew to accept that men enjoy being around other men. And for many reasons. I think to begin with, it's natural for men to seek other men's company ... just natural, born of thousands of generations of men who had to band together to beat the odds

I think also that men feel more secure in male company. A man's mates will watch his back and a man's less likely to be attacked if he has his friends nearby

Men understand each other, too. So there's the relaxation of familiarity. Few real surprises. A chance to relax instead of always being on guard

And men are fun in a way women are not ... in most instances. Toss a woman over the side of a boat and she's likely to be offended, hysterical, angry, horribly upset, etc. Toss a man over the side of a boat and he'll laugh along with everyone else as he clambers back aboard or swims for shore. Ordinarily, he will not sulk for three days or insist on lengthy analyses of why it hapened, extract promises that it will never occur again, etc., the way a woman may well do

Men enjoy periods ... the longer the better in most instances ... without complications. And male company can provide that in a way most women cannot, imo. Men may seem to 'talk a little or a lot about nothing' , but that's because they need and enjoy the 'down time' to be gained in each other's company. ' Great day, huh? ' --- 'Yep'. ' Feel like going for a burger ? ' --- ' Yeah, ok, let's go '

Women tend to analyse and dissect, weigh pros and cons, raise issues a man might be attempting to avoid for the time being, etc. So the tossed, 'Great day, huh? Feel like going for a burger' when said to a woman, might elicit a five minute discussion about the nutritional value of burgers, the cleanliness of the burger place, the fact there's a nice little salad-bar on the other side of town and while on the way, why not drop in to see the parents, or take flowers to grandma's grave and pick up some bedsheets which are on sale --- and half an hour to change and re-do the hair and make-up.

Most men have a special place in their heart for women, but often it's difficult for them to be around even the woman they love - all the time. Usually, women grow to accept this and accomodate their man's need to spend time with his mates

As a woman, I sometimes envy the mateship that men enjoy. It reminds me of pre-adolescence, when 'our gang' (comprised of boys and girls) would spend the entire summer-holilday hanging out together. It was the best We were almost oblivious to gender, back then. We just loved each other and couldn't wait to be together. We didn't have lengthy conversations that I remember. But the bond between us was strong. Six or more of us scouring the beach for discarded soft-drink bottles which we'd take to the local shop for 2 pence apiece. Then we'd either spend it on a pile of sweets which we'd pig-out on, or keep gathering empty bottles until we had enough to pay entrace fee for all of us at the movies, or at a touring fairground.

I imagine men find that same sort of easy enjoyment when with their mates and I no longer fight it or begrudge it. Just wish women enjoyed each other as much



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[edit on 26-3-2010 by Dock9]

There are many things that can only be understood by another man. Men's menly things, mainly. Like the joy of spending a day with your male mates, walking in the countryside, fishing on a boat, and having the freedom to... ahem... "water the daisies" without needing the pause the conversation or run around trying to find a sufficiently secluded hedge to squat and curse in!

reply to post by Dock9


Myself and other members have pointed out...what MANY women fail t realize, see, hear, or know is that MANY men who do the man thing: golf, fight, shoot, hunt, sports, lift, build stuff, break stuff, etc....with their buddy's look forward to getting home to their women. All the things we do bond us as friends and we have fun, but again, having someone to come home too and share OTHER things in life with really is the icing on the cake...cause without icing, cake is boring and not as desireable....so no worries...WE NEED YA'LL!!!!

Originally posted by rcwj1975
reply to post by Dock9

 

Myself and other members have pointed out...what MANY women fail t realize, see, hear, or know is that MANY men who do the man thing: golf, fight, shoot, hunt, sports, lift, build stuff, break stuff, etc....with their buddy's look forward to getting home to their women. All the things we do bond us as friends and we have fun, but again, having someone to come home too and share OTHER things in life with really is the icing on the cake...cause without icing, cake is boring and not as desireable....so no worries...WE NEED YA'LL!!!!

Nicely said and I know you mean it and that it's true

After a while, as women feel more secure and less threatened in the relationship, they don't mind it at all and are happy their man's happy

Although ---- sometimes women who might not mind at all that their man wants to spend a golf or fishing weekend with his mates, nevertheless pretend to have the huffs. It's a way to get credits in the relationship-bank, lol. A man who's been trained to feel guilty about spending time with his mates will offer inducements, such as, 'I'll paint the shed and put up those curtain rails as soon as I get back' sort of thing

My poor husband was trained by his mother and sisters and obviously by a string of girlfriends, before I met him. So no matter how many times I assure him that I don't mind a bit, when he wants to spend a 'manly weekend' -- he nevertheless goes around looking guilty and seems to expect me to throw a tantrum before and after his trip

Should I tell him that I enjoy that time alone, do you think ? Or is the guilt all part of the enjoyment of 'time with the guys', lol

in my experience as being male , and what i've observed in other male social groups, a direct comparison can be found in wolf social groups.


as for me, being social with males and being social with females are two vastly different experiences. with my male friends i can be relaxed; with my female friends i have to be constantly on guard with what i'm saying, my body language, where i'm looking(and where i may be perceived to be looking, but not actually looking.....no honestly) so as not to offend said female friends or create any awkwardness.

i didn't really think about this kind of stuff untill a few years ago when my two male friends moved, one went into the military and the other lives 2 hours away. so most of my time now is spent with my wife....and her friends , you really come to understand and miss the male bond. i can't wait till my son is old enough to understand what i'm saying(he's three months old right now lol) so we can have man talks and do man things.

because my girl find everything that i enjoy and she try her best to destroy it. games, fishing, cars, ATS, everything that bring a smile to my face, she will remove it from my reality. i am sneaking on as we speak.

reply to post by Dock9

A really, really beautiful post. You get my APPLAUSE definately!
(Apart from the fact that I can also understand why some women remain married to their openly gay partners, I mean salad bars and all. Let's go gals! .)
But yeah, as somebody mentioned, it's a matter of balance or ying and yang.
Considering my interest in recent masculinity studies I've been thinking about a thread on it for a while, but it actually scared me. But yet, compared to the other gendered threads I've seen, it's been a great, illuminating experience so far.

i knew this thread would have a homosexual undertone.

is everyone forgetting that we were huge hunter gatherers growing up as a species, and still basically are? it was completely foolish to have your mothers go out and hunt with you instead of [breast]feed the children, easily the most important aspect of their society.

this of course is my example of MAS (Male Answer Syndrome) and i don't feel the need to bs my answerany further because it sounds 100% logical to me .



@liveforever
if that's you in your avatar then i don't really blame you. that's a good lookin dude, hahaha

I know how this is going to sound ( sexist ) but it is my honest evaluation on the subject.

99% of Woman are conversationally lazy. They do not want to have to think during a conversation and getting them to do so is like getting blood out of a stone. If you do start up a conversation requiring deep thought they act like its a big effort. They would rather talk about Gossip or some other topic requiring zero intellectual input.

And before I get flamed, I have had them admit it to me.

Another example of their aversion to intellectual pursuits is their choice of reading material. In my business we have science mags, time magazine, health and fitness mags and gossip mags. Even though we have a great selection they will always go for the trashiest, most brainless magazine on display. The ones that do not pick those up first will engage in conversation at the drop of a hat on almost any subject. But sadly they are few and far between, so if I want a decent conversation, I call one of my mates or talk to the male customers.

reply to post by shagreen heart

I'm not sure about a "homosexual undertone". I think that chestnut was admitted in the theory and moved aside on p.1. OK, there's my salad bar joke, and yes I'm gay but I'm posing the questions on masculine experience, and not dictating it. So if gay men want to comment (and their environment is often even more homosocial than most) on their experiences of masculinity that is welcome.
On hunter gatherers, for some hunts (often the most crucial) the whole tribe would pitch in - mainly the driving mammoths or bison off a cliff hunt. In tribal societies gender is determined by labor, so if a boy made better baskets he could become a "berdarche" (Native American), and live and work with the women. The Lakota chief Crazy Horse had something like 13 wives, and two of them were "berdarches". They were often fierce warriors and kept the tribe safe while the men were hunting or at war. Because they could perform both male and female tasks they were sought after "brides". So there is more to hunter gatherers than we were taught in school!



[edit on 27-3-2010 by halfoldman]

reply to post by halfoldman


I am female, but I prefer the company of men also.

Originally posted by DOADOA
because my girl find everything that i enjoy and she try her best to destroy it. games, fishing, cars, ATS, everything that bring a smile to my face, she will remove it from my reality. i am sneaking on as we speak.

awww, I do see that happen often especially with younger women.

The only time I have really been in love was with a girl who could have a conversation about almost anything. I would sometimes spend hrs on the phone with her discussing anthropology , zoology, politics, religion , you name it.

So hard to find.