Television Reform Act of 2010

Well with all of this talk of health care reform and how necessary it is in the current state, I have come up with the next bill to be passed by Congress for the 'greater good' of the American people.

It will ensure that one of the most historic personal rights is fulfilled for everyone:

CABLE TELEVISION!

That is why I am proposing a bill that requires all American citizens to own a television and purchase cable.

Television Reform Act of 2010

The television has to be up to "green" standards so it must be a new product. Any persons who own an unqualified television will be issued a 5% income tax increase to make up for their carbon emissions.

Any persons who do not purchase a full cable package by the year 2014, will be charged fines to make up for the cost of what the average American cable package would cost multiplied by 7.

Children will be able to use their parents cable up until age 26, in which they will be required to purchase their own cable package.

A mandatory standard of television use will be 8 hours a day. In home televisions will be monitored with implanted chips to measure the amount of watch television. For every hour under the proposed mandatory minimum, families will be charged no more than $100 per hour.

The bill is roughly 2000 pages long with a lot of other junk in there, but you don't need to worry about that. It's all good.



The great thing is that this will extend cable television to 30+ million people. Let's all email and write our representatives to get this breathtaking, historical plan into action today. After all, there are so many people living today WITHOUT cable that something HAS to be done. It doesn't matter how BAD that something actually is, as long as something is done - the government can do no harm!

[edit on 23-3-2010 by gwydionblack]

It's an absolute shame that some people out there actually think they can get through life without a television. I mean, I've had a television for over 4 years, and I can't see myself living without it! It's so important to our way of life; and I'd like to enforce that on everyone around me as well. By force, if necessary. Brutal, brutal force.

[edit on 23-3-2010 by patmac]

Dumb.
To compare TV, ( yes i know you are attempting satire), with life and death issues is simply dumb.
Would you be so flippant if it was your loved one suffering?
If you can't grasp issues any better than this, why post?

[edit on 23-3-2010 by OldDragger]

reply to post by OldDragger


Are you going to argue the fact that this bill will provide 30+ million American's with cable television?

Have you no shame?

reply to post by gwydionblack


STOP GIVING THEM IDEAS!

I understand the whole post is sarcasm but, remember, there are plenty of idiots out there in government who think exactly this same way. They may read this and think it's serious and decide they will make a name for themselves by championing this cause.

Governments grow by creating new rights they deem must be enforced upon the people. For every new "right" they invent to shove down our throats, it seems a little more of our true freedom slips away.

reply to post by OldDragger


I currently have several loved ones without televisions. Unfortunately this bill DOES NOTHING to help them. If they cant afford a television how is mandating they buy one going to help them out? They arent poor enough, yet, to get the public funded television. They fall within the 'donut hole.' (I thought they closed that?)

Strange, though they have no television and cannot afford one nor qualify for the publicly funded television whenever they need to see television they are not thrown out into the street. Never have been.

Fantastic idea! Too many people are being deprived of our media's benevolent truths to function like the subverise citizens they should be.

Won't someone please think of all these children deprived of our beloved masters' messages of obedient servitude?!

reply to post by OldDragger


Why is it dumb? One could argue that its vitally important that all Americans have access to cable TV in order to provide them with a diversity of sources for their news. This is similar to the reasoning behind the proposals for the government to subsidize broadband internet access to the entire country.

Still, I probably would've chosen the agricultural industry as a better example, especially since most everyone agrees that some small percentage of Americans goes hungry every day.

reply to post by star in a jar


It is, but I would have to propose an amendment to this legislation. It should only apply to the NBC family of networks, public broadcasting, and any network owned by Al Gore.

Everything else is subject to a 500% tax and a yearly access fee of $1,500.

IF this were a serious proposition, and the Government took it and ran with it, then in my opinion we will be only a couple of steps away from the 'viewscreens' in Oewell's "1984".
We have our privacy invaded enough without giving TPTB yet more rope to hang us with.

Roy.

reply to post by royspeed


But sir, this is very serious. As serious as the health care bill.

Why is it that people are against forcing people to own television and cable... but it is ok to force people to own health care?

I personally CAN live without my television,in fact,i hardly watch it because it gives me a headache.
however,if they DID make it mandatory (lets hope they dont) i would:
1)leave my T.V. on(with no volume) cover the screeen with something black(maybe like paper or some kind of thick fabric)

2)cover the DVR thing also

3)go into the next room spending my time on the computer(where i get my news) with a timer set to ring after 8 hours or so.

im not gonna let myself be mind controlled by these psychopaths.


[edit on 23-3-2010 by Kieithsage]

That was hilarious op, thanks for the chuckle!

If I may ask, why do (some of) you Americans hate this health reform bill so much?

Please excuse my ignorance on the issue, but I am from Canada and I believe we have a very different system than yours. Our healthcare money is taken out of our taxes, been this way my whole life so I don't notice.

I have to say that I thoroughly enjoy not having to worry about having enough money or dealing with insurance companies to go to the doctor in case of emergency. Yes, our taxes may be slightly higher, but it is the one thing in life you CAN count on here, not having the burden of worrying if your "covered" when the unspeakable happens.

From what I understand, your current health care is paid for by something similar to car insurance, where you pay monthly (or once a year in full) for something that you may never use, and something that they may not even cover if you need to use it?

What difference does this new health care bill make, besides making everyone have insurance? Will your rates be lower? Will you be covered for everything?

I think what I want to know is what benefit will this have to someone who already owns insurance?


EDIT: Spelling, havn't had a coffee yet today

[edit on 3/23/2010 by Hatcookie]

"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull#"

This should be the battle cry of the internet revolutionaries.


Gwydion, you are slipping...this is a very weak attempt.

Originally posted by Hatcookie

I think what I want to know is what benefit will this have to someone who already owns insurance?

Premiums go up and taxes go up all the while the overall cost of care will continue to rise as it has which will in turn increase both premiums and taxes year after year.

The bill doesnt address any of the issues people claim/believe it does.

Basically the bill makes it so everything costs more to stay the same.

reply to post by Hatcookie

Please excuse my ignorance on the issue, but I am from Canada and I believe we have a very different system than yours.

Yes, you do. While your health care is offered and mandated directly from government, our brand new bill REQUIRES us to purchase health insurance from the private sector (insurance companies).

Yes, our taxes may be slightly higher, but it is the one thing in life you CAN count on here, not having the burden of worrying if your "covered" when the unspeakable happens.

Well I'm no expert on the situation but I wouldn't be surprised if collectively American's paid just as much, if not more, on taxes and we are NOT covered health wise. There are just so many obscure and unrepresented taxes placed upon us that it would be impossible to understand exactly where all the money goes but I am willing to bet that most of it goes into the pockets of those in power.

From what I understand, your current health care is paid for by something similar to car insurance, where you pay monthly (or once a year in full) for something that you may never use, and something that they may not even cover if you need to use it?

This is correct.

What difference does this new health care bill make, besides making everyone have insurance? Will your rates be lower? Will you be covered for everything?

Well, to understand the differences you have to understand the system in its entirety first. Basically, health insurance companies have the ability to deny the selling or coverage or a person, or to raise their rates obscenely high, based upon the fact of if they have "preexisting conditions". This basically meant that people who have debilitating illnesses such as cancer, diabetes, HIV, ect - were general unable to get sufficient coverage and thus have to pay obscene bills out of their own pockets.

Perhaps one of the two GOOD things the bill does is place limitations on insurance companies so that they can no longer base coverage based on preexisting conditions. Therefore, nobody will be exempt.

On the other end of the table, the bill will allow more people to be involved in medicare (our health care for the poor and elderly) with the problem being that medicare funds are lowered and the quality of the health care provided is diminished. Trust me, medicare doesn't exactly offer "quality" health care to begin with so it is not a good thing whatsoever.

The second GOOD thing this does is allow for children to remain on parents policies up until the age of 26 before they are required to get their own. Regardless, the parents are still paying for the coverage so there really is no change in progress.




The main problem is that Americans... at least MOST Americans, don't like being told what we HAVE to do. If there was a government plan that automatically covered everyone, I wouldn't really have a problem with it - but I do have a problem with telling me that I HAVE to purchase something from a private seller or have my money taken otherwise. The health care bill as it stands is nothing more than an increase in taxes on Americans, an institution of more and more fines, and a incremental bailout of the insurance companies who started the problem to begin with.

what is fact is that EVERYBODY dies sooner or later, no heath care reform is gonna give you immortal life

you are already immortal, you SOUL is, (call it conscience, mind) not your body, you'll get another body soon, so stop fuzzing about...

as for television.... it's the main brainwashing tool out there.... i'm pretty sure they will make it MANDATORY

it will be like George Orwell's 1984

reply to post by gwydionblack

lmao
thanks for the chuckle
star and flag

reply to post by OutKast Searcher


Slipping? Nonsense. I use satire to get my point across. Where are all the pro-health care people who can come in here and state the difference between forcing people to purchase cable television and forcing people to purchase health care?

Arguably, both of them or human rights that should be guaranteed to all. The idea of logic and actual substance seems to escape those who would look to the 'greater good' no matter the cost.

Haha, this made me laugh, but simply because it's so similar to what we actually have here in the UK.

OK, no you're not forced to own a TV, but if you do you have to pay the GOV £142.50 per year, whether you use it or not! You want cable/sky? Another £20-£70 on top per month to the supplier.

I don't even watch the BBC, why do I have to pay the buggers? They should go commercial like everybody else!