RANT! Man, I got a problem with people who say, “…can I be honest with you?....”Do you???, page 1

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Topic started on 15-3-2010 @ 06:50 PM by OldThinker

RANT! Man, I got a problem with people who say, “…can I be honest with you?....” Do you???

Just take note, the next time it happens…

Really listen for it, ok….

Why do people use that phrase? Are they habitual liars MOST of the time, but switch up every once and a while when talking with you? What compels them I wonder?

Is this a character flaw? A matter of the heart for this individual?

Or just a “figure of speech”????

Either way, it bothers me!

Does it you?

reply posted on 15-3-2010 @ 06:53 PM by tothetenthpower

Get out of my head OT lol.

There are a few of those I don't like, inlcuding:

" Well not to offend, but..."

" No Offense but..."

These are just scapegoats so you can be offensive.

As for the honest one, shouln't EVERYBODY be honest with everybody at all times? Doesn't saying that just kind of make you out to be a liar if you don't say it everytime afterwards?

Our language is a strange one.

~Keeper

reply posted on 15-3-2010 @ 06:54 PM by LadySkadi

No - I generally don't have a problem with it, because it's usually not meant negatively. When this phrase is used, it's usually followed by something that can be considered secretive, personal, etc. So in truth, I see it as someone who is tentatively seeking to see if they can trust confiding something they feel is important, with me. It's one step away from putting themselves "out there" for someone else to judge...

Just my experience and perspective... maybe I've been lucky.

reply posted on 15-3-2010 @ 06:56 PM by smyleegrl

In the South we have a very useful little saying we tack on to the end of any deragatory statement...."please his heart."

So the conversation might go like this:

"Did you see what Jim did? He can't even hold a job long enough to pay his next drink....bless his heart."

I think we believe it somehow excuses our previous remark, almost like an absolving ourselves of blame.

Regardless, its pretty interesting....

reply posted on 15-3-2010 @ 07:00 PM by OldThinker

Originally posted by smyleegrl
In the South we have a very useful little saying we tack on to the end of any deragatory statement...."please his heart."

So the conversation might go like this:

"Did you see what Jim did? He can't even hold a job long enough to pay his next drink....bless his heart."

I think we believe it somehow excuses our previous remark, almost like an absolving ourselves of blame.

Regardless, its pretty interesting....

hahahaha!

"bless his heart" really means, "he's a pityful idiot

reply posted on 15-3-2010 @ 07:01 PM by bowlbyville

I agree with the OP - I don't like the phrase and I don't use it...although I think people in the USA often use that phrase when they mean to say something along the lines of, "Let me be frank with you."

reply posted on 15-3-2010 @ 07:02 PM by OldThinker

Originally posted by tothetenthpower
Get out of my head OT lol....

Sorry, GREAT minds think alike....

reply posted on 15-3-2010 @ 07:07 PM by OldThinker

Originally posted by tothetenthpower
....As for the honest one, shouln't EVERYBODY be honest with everybody at all times? Doesn't saying that just kind of make you out to be a liar if you don't say it everytime afterwards?

Our language is a strange one.

~Keeper

I wonder you may be right.....

We shouldn't say that....I know i can't, it just seems shady/off/not right to me? Am i just a paranoid christian fundi

reply posted on 15-3-2010 @ 07:08 PM by Crito

Yeah, cops and politicians should be honest at all times. It should be a crime for a public official to lie to a citizen. They work for us after all.

Martha Stewart should have refused to talk. In a fascist society it's the other way around, the people work for the state.

reply posted on 15-3-2010 @ 07:09 PM by ugie1028

reply to post by OldThinker

Honesty from one person may not always be honest. Their assumption is usually coiled within their own reality, to what makes sense to them.

Honesty is just their way of saying (in my reality... it works this way, don't you see it?)

Kind of... you know...

/sarcasm
to be honest... i don't know... i am never honest...
/end sarcasm

reply posted on 15-3-2010 @ 07:11 PM by LadySkadi

reply to post by OldThinker

Another thought - it could be that whomever is using this phrase isn't dishonest as a habit, but just keeps things to themselves. So, rather than making it about honesty (or) snarkiness, also consider that it's about voicing (or) not voicing an opinion, concern, secret, etc. that would not otherwise be voiced.

As always, consider the source/circumstance, but to dismiss it out of hand *may* be dismissing the possibility of being privy to something you might not otherwise... It just may be that you are being chosen for the trustworthy person you are...

reply posted on 15-3-2010 @ 07:12 PM by OldThinker

reply to post by LadySkadi

LS, great response....you are a smart one!

OT appreciates it.

reply posted on 15-3-2010 @ 07:16 PM by LadySkadi

Hey, just playing Devil's Advocate - in truth, watch out for the *snark* that usually follows statements like that! Well, unless you're in the mood to engage... Admit it, we all do it at times.

[edit on 15-3-2010 by LadySkadi]

reply posted on 15-3-2010 @ 07:16 PM by OldThinker

Originally posted by bowlbyville
I agree with the OP - I don't like the phrase and I don't use it...although I think people in the USA often use that phrase when they mean to say something along the lines of, "Let me be frank with you."

bowlbyville, good to hear from you, all ok?

Good point about "frankness", why not just SAY that then....strange, huh?

OT

reply posted on 15-3-2010 @ 07:17 PM by john124

reply to post by OldThinker

Can I be honest with you????

No offence, but you rant quite a lot.

OK joking aside, I find it annoying too because people should get straight to the point.

[edit on 15-3-2010 by john124]

reply posted on 15-3-2010 @ 07:18 PM by Zanti Misfit

reply to post by OldThinker

Believe me now and Hear me later . You are Right ! ............

reply posted on 15-3-2010 @ 07:19 PM by john124

Next time they say it tell them "you should always be honest with me because I hate fckin LIARS!".

[edit on 15-3-2010 by john124]

reply posted on 15-3-2010 @ 07:20 PM by OldThinker

Originally posted by ugie1028
........
/sarcasm
to be honest... i don't know... i am never honest...
/end sarcasm

Hilarious!

Creative avatar there friend, ugie1028

reply posted on 15-3-2010 @ 07:21 PM by boaby_phet

reply to post by OldThinker

nice rant!

people only ever say that so they can say bad things and not get comback for it, like being honest is a counterbalance to being a dick.

reply posted on 15-3-2010 @ 07:22 PM by OldThinker

Originally posted by john124
reply to post by OldThinker

Can I be honest with you????

No offence, but you rant quite a lot.

OK joking aside, I find it annoying too because people should get straight to the point.

[edit on 15-3-2010 by john124]