and I'm all for embracing the beauty of bodies, big and small, but clearly she does need to stop trying to fill that empty hole with food.

I think (from what I derive from her blog) she associated her mother with feeding, and with an abundance of food. Her mother's death represented a loss of love. Her father was distant and allowed her step mother to emotionally abuse her, control her, and withhold food from her. She found another father figure in form of a school janitor, who ended up breaking her trust and molesting her.

her page title 'feed me' is both hollow and sad, in perspective. 'feed me' being that little girl calling out for the love she lost when her mother died as a young child.


At the very least there are lessons to be learned. She's not a waste of space.

Some really good replies since i went offline last night. To those saying she is being demonized simply because she is overweight....i don't think that's the issue. Being overweight is one thing....deliberately putting weight on, so much so that you know damn well it will eventually handicap you and leave you unable to care for your children.....is entirely another.

The posts about anorexics. Yes, that is an eating disorder too and yes, if there was a woman proclaiming that she was going to starve herself, i would hope that she too received this condemnation and got her child taken away from her.

As one poster pointed out, if this was someone deliberately starving themselves, at some point, surely, social services would be brought in and she would be sectioned. Will this happen in this case? Unfortunately, i don't think so.

I don't know if you could say a child would be genuinely be better off without her. I know of people who have grown up with parents who are addicts, and have themselves come out amazingly strong and grounded because of what they've seen, and gone on to advocate and help others. It's a unique perspective and life-experience.

I don't think her daughter is doomed. I am however concerned about the men that may or may not be coming in and out of the mothers life. This woman was molested. She may or may not be continuing that pattern of 'being taken advantage of' by men, and if her daughter is around, she is in danger.

But I don't know. An investigation is meritted, I agree with you on that.

hmm - a lot of people ` want something to be done [ about her ] ` or even the extreme of ` her daughter must be taken away from her `

its amazing how so many people expect to be able to do what they want , with impunity - but still foist thier own values on others

i guess people are only allowed to have free will and self determination when they are doing something you agree with ?

taking someone's child away from someone is a HUGE deal. You have to be certain of what the precise wrongdoing is. Saying 'she won't be able to take care of her 2 years from now' isn't good enough.

Originally posted by Brittany
I don't know if you could say a child would be genuinely be better off without her. I know of people who have grown up with parents who are addicts, and have themselves come out amazingly strong and grounded because of what they've seen, and gone on to advocate and help others. It's a unique perspective and life-experience.

I don't think her daughter is doomed. I am however concerned about the men that may or may not be coming in and out of the mothers life. This woman was molested. She may or may not be continuing that pattern of 'being taken advantage of' by men, and if her daughter is around, she is in danger.

But I don't know. An investigation is meritted, I agree with you on that.

I agree with you up to a point. The thing is, this may very well be an addiction for her...it is entirely possible, but i don't think that's all there is to it...she is after fame, however sad that may be.
One could say that an addict cannot help themselves and i think most addicts, if given the chance, would welcome the chance for their children to be taken away while they sort themselves out.
What she is doing seems different...she knows what she is doing, she's doing it purposely and she knows the effects it will have. She can barely walk 20ft at the moment, it's not going to be too long before she can't walk at all.

I agree about the partner...a very unhealthy relationship there, even on the surface, and as you said, God knows what's going on behind closed doors.

Originally posted by ignorant_ape
hmm - a lot of people ` want something to be done [ about her ] ` or even the extreme of ` her daughter must be taken away from her `

its amazing how so many people expect to be able to do what they want , with impunity - but still foist thier own values on others

i guess people are only allowed to have free will and self determination when they are doing something you agree with ?

But this is not about her really is it? If she didn't have kids, then i doubt anyone would give a toss, i certainly wouldn't.
Free will is all well and good, but where does that stop when it comes to parenting? Should we allow parents to beat up their kids cos its what they want to do?
Of course not and i don't think for a second you are advocating that.
And this is not about values either...not really....i don't care if she wants to eat herself to death....but i do think there should be a care system in place for her daughter and son when she can no longer (through her own doing) care for them herself.

I think this is a very sad story. I find it hard to believe anybody could actually believe it to be a great thing to eat yourself to death. I wonder what her real motivations are.
I think these two adults are involved in a relationship that seems weird or twisted to most of us. but if it's a consentual thing, it is between the two of them, isn't it?
As far as their child goes, they are probably very loving parents.
I don't agree the child should be taken from them just like that, though it may be a good idea for someone to check out the situation.
because of the condition of this big mum, there probably are some practical difficulties there when it comes to taking care of your child. If you weigh that much, it must be pretty hard to chase a 2 year old and that may create dangerous situations. On the other hand, the same thing goes for invalid or blind parents. The difference here is that this mother's limitations are self inflicted.
I must admit that as far as my personal opinion goes, I think these parents are incredibly selfish. They should realize that the mother is taking a big risk to die when she keeps up her self-destructive behaviour and the father is incredibly egotistic for letting the mother of his child continue with this behaviour, just because he gets a kick out of it or a boner.
But let's face it, there are a LOT of selfish parents, where do you draw the line?



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[edit on 16-3-2010 by Gwynniver]

[edit on 16-3-2010 by Gwynniver]

Wow.. I found this artical last night on Myspace i believe.. and the comments on it were horrible to say the least.. most comments were telling the women how sexy and beautiful she is..so in other words, encouraging her to continue on this path.. its sad that she cant think of her child in this situation when heart disease or other such linked issues to obesity set in and either kill her outright or leave her in such a state that her child will have to sponge bathe her and change her bed pan etc.. sad and selfish indeed.. on many levels.

has anyone seen the film "whats eating gilbert grape"? its worth a watch,,

his mum is obese in the film and it shows how the family is torn

I agree with you all, and I do see where you're coming from, but think about it. Every time that government(or any rules-sheerly-through-numbers system, really) gets too involved in situations like this, then lives end up destroyed. I agree, If it gets bad, then something needs to be done. But you can't live someone else's life for them, so why try? I understand the need for action in this situation, and I do NOT agree with the situation, but if every family had it's secrets divulged to the world, then there wouldn't be a single family left that was not ripped apart in one way or another.

If the situation becomes too bad, then hopefully the family/friends will intervene. However, I do not see that we have any right to do anything.

I just don't think it's our place.

Hmmm, personally I find this disgusting, but on that I speak for myself.
Everyone has their vices, mine is tobacco a bit, alcohol and a wee bit o porn *grins* I will stop at that for details in all wouldn't be quite appropriate.

The one thing that I am more... hmm... well remembering was back in the mideavil (sp) age. Large women were fancied (due to poverty and starvation) so when one could be with a woman who was typically large, it meant that they had food and money to boot. Just thinking though how it reversed over time. Large women were adorned back in the day.. way back.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder no?

All I am saying is that I think this is sickening. We, as a society, shouldn't encourage her with any sort of attention or support (i.e. media coverage, cranes to move her, etc.) but alas, we are too curious and egotistic too much to not.

I wonder if someday the govt. will say that the very obese are causing global warming Who knows?

If this story is true, being a New Jersey native myself, this really does not surprise me in the least. Of course the fattest woman in the world would be from Jersey.