The dictionary defines a soulmate as "somebody with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality,
and/or compatibility." Its also many times referred to as our "other half" or "twin soul". Someone who is one hundred percent perfectly
compatiable with us. That one person who was born into this world and made just for us to find. In a study conducted, 88% of people thought there was
something out there who was designed just for them as there soulmate.
The study of soulmates has been debated for a very long time. In the book of Aristophanes in Platos Symposium, a theory was said that in the
beginning, humans were born with four legs, four arms, and one head with two faces. Zeus feared this power and ended up splitting them in half,
condemning them to forever roam the earth to find the other half who would complete them.
The mindset of soulmates can no doubt cause trouble in relationships. Instead of looking at what we have in a relationship, we tend to focus on what
our partner lacks. But some may ask why we would want a completely matched person for ourselves in the first place. You would think that having found
your soulmate, you would want them to have at least some qualitys that you did not have, like yin and yang. If your soulmate was completely just like
you, the other person wouldnt be very necessary, if your too different, theres no common trait to hold the relationship together.
It seems more that a person would find there soulmate in which someone who complimented them, not completed them. Hollywood movies these days skew our
visions of love very much. We all remember the first time we saw The Notebook. We cried and swooned and thought to ourselves "if only we could find a
love like this!". Unfortuntaly, this is not real life. But young woman growing up watching these movies develop this expectation because its what the
movies are telling us love should be, what it should feel like, what it should look like.
And we have all met the girl with the dreaded "list"! Of course its okay to have standards and know what your looking for in a partner, but many of
us pass love by everyday because they dont have "Number 7: wants five kids." The fact is, nobody is perfect. And even if we did find the guy with
all the qualitys on our list, it doesnt mean there wont be normal problems and difficulties over the years.
As someone else put it, "Its easy to fall in love, but its hard to maintain it." Relationships are alot of hard work, and if one person isnt willing
to put in just as much as the other, it will eventually fail. Both people have to want it equally.
Its very difficult to find scientific proof for soulmates. We just may never know if they truly exist or not. But building every relationship around
the expectation can be toxic. We need trial and error to sort out what we want and what we know we do not want.
Maybe we are meant to find many soulmates through our lifetime. To learn from each of them and to find ourselves along the way.
So there it is! Have any of you found your "soulmate"? I would love to hear from those believe in them and those who dont.
“I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but
for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out.”