So everybody hates chain letters, right?

See, I got one today, from a friend.
Thinking it was something important I opened it, to be greeted by a long paragraph which ended in people dying then "if you don't pass this on to ... within ... the clown will be at your bedside at 3am and kill you."

I sighed, and then asked my friend why she'd sent it to me. The reply was this:
"I didn't want the clown to kill me. I'm scared of clowns."
And this is a person who is more down to earth than me, and actually finds amusement in my fascination with all things conspiricy!

Now, I'm sorry, but if I was going to be killed by something everytime an email told me to I would be sitting here a reanimated miracle of Biblical proportions, dying more times than Harry Potter should have. And probably more times than Crash Bandicoot has. Collectively.

I've had clowns, the girl from the ring, ghosts, murderers, things under my bed, bad luck in love (okay, that one might be true ) and I think my personal favourite was the one that would come up the plumbing.
Actually no! I think my favourite was one about a girl who'd killed herself in a wardrobe (because her boyfriend cheated on her) and not been found for like 3 weeks. Even though if your kid was missing you'd check the wardrobe. And it'd probably smell. It also said something about her writing a note saying "i died for you like Jesus died for us all"
*tuts*
I also like the ones that say 'research this' and when you do, you find nothing. Except chain notes.

So I thought I'd set up a thread so that we can see how many we get on a day to day basis. Just to see how much spam is actually circulating email accounts. And to see how many gullible people there actually are in this world who will SPAM! SPAM! SPAM! their friends just because they are for some reason willing to believe that curses will befall them.
The people creating them are just idiot teenagers with nothing better to do, not crazy voodoo men! Gah, they make me so angry!

Thank God death can't work through the internet, or I doubt we'd all be sitting here now!

I do sorta wanna make one though... Just to see how far it gets/how much it changes before it gets back to me... But no. I won't join the legions. Unless I get enough support to

Anyway yeah. I fancy a laugh, so if you feel like sharing some of the ridiculous ones. Go for it

Ayana rant, out!

[edit on 6/3/2010 by Ayana]

Easy solution...chain letters (no matter who they are sent from), go right in the Junk folder...

reply to post by Gazrok


They do, they do

But some are sneaky! They have a title that you think is something worth reading, then it's that!

Then they go in junk...

The only chain letter I send is this one:

Hi everybody, This is a passionate plea for all your help...I usually delete these letters, but this one really touched me, and I am sure it will break your heart also. Please, for little Billy Evans, who wrote:

I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I
can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she
says it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but she didn't
answer and only started crying harder, so I don't ask her that any more.

The reason she is so sad is because I'm so sick. I was born without a
body. It doesn't hurt, except when I try to breathe. The doctors gave me
an artificial body. It is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors
said that was the best they could do on account of us having no money or
insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money.
Mommy doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people. I said,
"Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me
hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and
chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you mindlessly forward this
e-mail to everyone you know. Mindlessly forward it to people you don't
know, too. Dr. Johansen said that for every person you mindlessly
forward this email to, Bill Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel
to NASA. With that funding, NASA will collect prayers from school children
all over America and have the astronauts take them up into space so that
the angels can hear them better.

Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up
a collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors
could help me get better, then. Maybe one day I will be able to play
baseball. Right now I can only be third base.

Every time you mindlessly forward this letter, the astronauts can take
another prayer to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true.

Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. If you don't
mindlessly forward this email, that's okay. Mommy says you're a mean and
heartless bastard who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a
head. She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own
guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow, horrible death and
then burn forever in Hell. What kind of cruel person are you that you
can't take five freakin' minutes to mindlessly forward this to all your
friends so that they can feel guilt and shame about ignoring a poor,
bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had a kitty.
I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't
chew on me and try to bury its poo in the leaves of my burlap body. I
wish that very much.

Thank You, Billy "Smiles" Evans (the boy with just a head, and a burlap
sack for a body)

spamcop

[edit on 8-3-2010 by nixie_nox]

I know exactly what you mean! I cannot stand the chain mail I get on my phone and on my myspace. Now I dont really use myspace anymore so I got rid of one source, but it certainly does come into my phone once in awhile. "Pass this to ten people and you will get good news tonight." I never forward it. And I usually ask the person not to forward it to me again.

reply to post by Jess_Undefined


Yeah, I tend to ask them not to do it again. It's usually on msn with me, the people that I don't know but are my cousins friends or w.e.
Iask them not to, then get a load of abuse hurled at me! They're all like 12!
World we live in, eh?

Originally posted by Gazrok
Easy solution...chain letters (no matter who they are sent from), go right in the Junk folder...

SAME HERE!

chain letters -ALWAYS to the junk folder.

reply to post by nixie_nox

thanks nixie, that made me laugh. Next time somebody I know sends me a chain letter maybe I'll send that hilarious spoof back to them, unless it's one of the ATSers who authored an "I am an alien" thread in which case they might take it too seriously

I used to get a lot of those chain letters, but since I changed to an e-mail service with a better spam filter, I don't seem to get them much anymore, and I've trained my friends, they know better than to send me one of those.

reply to post by Arbitrageur


I'm gonna start making up really stupid things and sending them back.
I think that's the future

Originally posted by Ayana
reply to post by Arbitrageur

 

I'm gonna start making up really stupid things and sending them back.
I think that's the future

That would be phenomenal! That reminds me of the guy who sent junk mail to the people who were sending him junk mail. A taste of their own medicine. Of course, knowing my luck, the stupid thing I made up would circulate around the globe and be annoying others. >_>