Good Bye ATS, I’m Going To Jail.

The laws of our land seem, well, difficult, perhaps even unfair.
The Federal law that passed, regarding past child support, to me, seems too harsh.
I have enjoyed the debates, the support, the discussion, and sharing of various topics here on ATS.
My job market has been scarce.
Sadly, since the divorce filing in 2007, I have fallen way past due in my child support. Don’t get me wrong; I paid when I had the money. It has reached a point that I am now a felon. I should have paid the money. He said, she said doesn’t count here. What the Court say’s, is what counts. Yes, I didn’t send my $1,600.00 per month, and I should have given back all of my 40% of the settlement to cover the child support payments. It would have been better that I had. I would have ended up broke, under a bridge, but I probably would not have been in the position that I am in now. And I was wrong for not obeying the court. I didn’t see this coming; I had dated her for almost ten years, and even attended 3 or so months of pre-marriage counseling from the church. I have been faithful to her since the marriage, and have remained celibate since.
During the times of when I had to leave home or out of state, is where the problems occurred. And then 20 years later, she filed for the divorce. I have my suspicions about a guy she works with.
I am now, an older, lonely man, who has nothing and lost everything. And now I will turn myself in, and be at the mercy of the court. I will lose everything, all my rights of a citizen will be permanently taken away. My college education will be worthless without the licenses that I need to practice. I was wrong, and now I will be in a federal prison with all the hateful, sexually perverted inmates than have been excluded from society.
Obey the court.
Since I am a failure in marriage, I cannot give any advice. But I do wish, after my heart being crushed, given her all the best years of my life, and invested all of my inheritance for the good of my family, have never met her.
I would not know the bonding, growing love of raising children, nor the unknown void in the heart that they fill. I do love my children, I love them very much. And as crazy as it sounds, I still love my wife. When I said, “ I do”, I meant it.
I can only say that these must be the end of times.
May G_D bless all of you.
Violater1 out.

Terrible news. Sorry that you are going through this.

Child support you say. Is it true they take a percentage of what you make and if you don't make that they don't take it from you. I have to wonder if this story has another side like a young woman trying to survive after her dead beat boyfriend knocked her up and then took off. And then he decided not to take care of his part and then cries about going to jail for it.


Like I said I am just wondering. Let me ask this simple question and it will help us see the truth. How often do you see your child? And before you say this personal business you are the one with the thread remember.

Sir, keep positive and remain strong in mind. "This too shall pass"

Take your lumps, build off it, and become a stronger person!

I can completely relate to your situation, been close to where you are but nipped it before it could take me down.

Utilize the resources that they will offer you during this process, don't go into this with malice, use the system as much as it's using you.

Good Luck and we'll see you soon enough.

reply to post by Violater1


Situations like this are becoming more common.Jobs are vanishing,
people can't find any good paying jobs to support their families any
more.I bet a lot of, non-custodial parents, could be facing jail time
in the near future.The courts aren't sympathetic either,pay up or jail.
This is definitely a sign of the times.
Good luck and keep your chin up.

I am sorry for your loss too. My cousin split to Russia before this happened to him. Cowardly? I don't think so....He still has his life. A whole new one. Sends money too.

If what you say is all true, then you in no way deserve any of this. Sadly, this is not the first time I have heard of someone wrongfully going to jail for the corrupt child support system - and it will not be the last.

If I were in your shoes I certainly would not stand for it. What I would do is hard to say, but if I was to go to jail for something I couldn't control, for something due to the floundering economy, I simply would not take it.

My best wishes go to you in this situation and to you. Money has become the corrupter of this world. But rest easy my friend, all will fix itself in time and karma will save all of us with a good soul.

reply to post by Subjective Truth


In a nutshell, it varies by State, but in Florida, they can take 60% of your Gross earnings, 50% if you pay support for a child to more than one Mother. If you don't pay, first they suspend your Drivers License, after that, they jail you.

OMG $1,600 per month is just ludicrous !!!!


They make us out to be criminals when we fall behind on child support by suspending our licenses, then sending us to jail !!

do they think this is going to help us support our children ??? !!

My license got suspended last year because I fell behind after I got laid off, .... so whats their philosophy ?? " Well you don't have job, so were going to take away your ability to drive around and get one"

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for child support, WHEN it actually goes to supporting the child !! My ex hasn't had a job since I left her !!! all their doing is enabling dead beat mothers !!

.... So don't be hard on yourself, I'm sure you would have paid it if you could, ..... it's not you, It's the system thats jacked up !!

how can they expect you to pay 1,600 a month and still survive ??

How much time are you facing ??? and when do you go in ??


Talk to your ex, maybe you can arrange something, if she had any heart she would take you to court and waive all the past due support. Which she CAN do !!!

[edit on 4-3-2010 by IntastellaBurst]

Debtors prison is one of the grossest crimes against humanity there is out there. Any one involved in imprisoning you belongs on the end of a noose. Good luck.

reply to post by IntastellaBurst

so whats their philosophy ?? " Well you don't have job, so were going to take away your ability to drive around and get one"

I have thought about writing my State representatives based on this argument alone. To try and get an understanding of the reasoning behind the punishment. It truly is senseless. You mention not being able to find a job, but how too are you supposed to go visit your kids, seeing as how most people ask this of Dads that pay child support, "do you even see your Kids?". Well how can they with no license? Take the bus? Mind you, I would, Hell I'd walk, but the point is.....

The whole CS system needs to be reformed!!

edit: typos

[edit on 3/4/2010 by UberL33t]

I can't believe they moved this to BTS Chit Chat of all places !!!


OP, .... I say you retitle it, add a little extra at the end, and put it up on the main board so Everyone can debate these issues.

Violater1, I feel your pain.

I was in a similar situation with my ex and child support. It does suck, especially when you have no job in order to pay the child support you owe. Thankfully, I was able to get a job and I started paying support, they take half of my paycheck, and I just got it reduced to the place it needs to be, they still take half of my paycheck, but least more is going to the back support.

Child support is not fair in this country. It's not equitable. I do believe in paying child support, but it has to be right.

Can't get blood from a turnip as they say. I feel for you.

Isn't it great to be a criminal over a civil matter?

[edit on 3/5/2010 by whatukno]

reply to post by Violater1



Child support laws in this country are RIDICULOUS! I see too many people who suffer while paying child support. The amounts are unreal. How is one supposed to support themselves while paying 1200 dollars a month! I think yes whatever parent isnt there should have to help but it should be an amount that isnt going to put them on the streets. Just because a relationship doesnt work out and one parent gets the kids, it doesnt mean the other parent should have to suffer. I have a friend who is remarried and has two new kids, well he pays an insane amount of child support to his lazy and might I add psycho ex and he can barely afford to support his family. I am all for child support dont get me wrong but the laws on it need to change......This is coming from someone whose father was out of my life when I was 6 and NEVER helped my mother with his 3 kids a day in his life after 1983. I myself could have gone after him but I saw it pointless. I was fine and I never really lacked anything. My mom did her best. I think sometimes parents forget about the kids and IMO many times child support becomes about the money and how much one can get. I have seen it too many times and it really bothers me.....You shouldnt have to go to jail! You in my eyes are not a criminal. You paid and you tried, that doesnt make you a bad person. I am sorry you are going through this... I hope everything works out for you.

this SUCKS.

Please read this important thread by Tormentations for prison advice.

Good luck.

I am very sorry to hear you are going to debtor's prison. That is exactly what it is. I myself am known as a felon for this very same thing. They leave me be for now as I am making my regular payments but I am beyond the amount allowed. Perhaps someday I too will be saying my farewells.

My sister is spending time in jail as well for this. I agree with the many statements of this injustice this Child Support MULTI-BILLION dollar industry represents.

I tried to fight this once. I wrote Senators, Congressman, the Governor of my state, the head of DHS. (Department of Human Services), the news media, etc. Even called lawyers. Wanna know what they all said, "You can't afford to fight them. You don't have enough money."

I was then offered a chance by a group of fathers who had to escape this country, a chance to move to another country. I would have to take a new identity and never speak to anyone I currently know again. I could never leave my daughters. So I said no.

Try to keep your head up. I hate that this is happening to you. I don't know all of your story but I am certain you don't deserve this. If you want, send me a U2U and I will give you my address so you can write while you're in. I don't know you, but I would very much like to be your friend and help you have someone to talk to during this difficult time.

reply to post by Violater1


What has happened has happened no amount of remorse can change that....keep in mind

“You've done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.”

Violater...you and I have disagreed on a great many things and not in always the best manner. I feel prison is a terribly important thing to have but I have to say that being put away for debt is horrific. I wish you only the best and I hope to everything holy that some way or option shows up that keeps you out of prison. I would much rather have you here arguing with me then wasting away because you couldn't pay some woman tens of thousands of dollars a year over a broken relationship. Good luck...I really mean that

-Kyo

[edit on 8-3-2010 by KyoZero]