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posted on Jun, 12 2004 @ 10:29 PM
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Ok that explains things, my specialty is the 10 minute poem, even if I did try hard it wouldn't be halfway as good as yours though




posted on Jun, 13 2004 @ 12:27 PM
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so talented it hurts...



posted on Jun, 14 2004 @ 12:15 PM
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Nice earthtone! It is good to see a poet that doesn't restrict himself to the same old formating styles. It shows a large amount of creativity on your part.



posted on Jun, 14 2004 @ 12:29 PM
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Thank you very much Jonna. I really like using enjambement, and just generaly effecting the flow of the poem with different structures. I appreciate the comments. thank you jonna



posted on Jun, 15 2004 @ 06:33 AM
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"To feel I must recluse.
To see I must be blind."

When he looked forward into the cold, cemented ground
No desolation seen; a voice and a sound.
Spoken tales of men and blood;
shouting
asphalt cracked lines from the flood.

All around a sense of nostlaga
made irrelevant by the sense of alienation.
"Is lonliness a man made or spiritual creation?"
Above and below the cracked lines widen.

Speach, in the street, in a dim room,
echoes;
without audience it is without purpose I assume.
I assume.
Therefore I am human.
Therefore I am alone.



posted on Jun, 16 2004 @ 04:35 AM
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Originally posted by hockey_crazy
Ok that explains things, my specialty is the 10 minute poem, even if I did try hard it wouldn't be halfway as good as yours though


Spend longer on your work, if you can't get a thought out that you want to express then don't force it. These things take time and as you spend more time you will find your voice.



posted on Jun, 16 2004 @ 04:43 AM
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Originally posted by earthtone
Underneath every noise there must be a voice.
Beneath every dream there must reality.
Does the immoralist have vitality?
Does the begger have a choice?




Very nice .



posted on Jun, 16 2004 @ 04:48 AM
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Oddtod thanks thanks. I personaly liked that line alot too, it has a nice structure.



posted on Jun, 16 2004 @ 04:58 AM
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Your welcome ,

I've seen you get into some pretty heated debates here and enjoyed your poetry . Nice to see the calm side of The Force . Peace



posted on Jun, 16 2004 @ 05:01 AM
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Yes, it is nice to have a place to unwind my thoughts without having to get angry! Thanks for reading tod.



posted on Jun, 16 2004 @ 10:09 AM
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It takes time
To make a choice
sound travels for a while
you hear a noise.

One path leads to death
the other to
another choice
another breath.

I think I'll stay here for a while.



[edit on 6/16/2004 by earthtone]



posted on Jun, 17 2004 @ 05:36 AM
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Sound of silence is the worst.
Gunslinging;
Who hurts first.

BANG BANG.
The smoke clears.
One victor cheers
and Yet he doesn't.

Tears stain far longer
than blood.



posted on Jun, 17 2004 @ 07:53 AM
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Everyone. I am going through a short phase right now. Just thought I'd warn you



posted on Jun, 17 2004 @ 07:54 AM
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I have worn the same clothes for days
and still nobody knows my name.



posted on Jun, 17 2004 @ 03:53 PM
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all pretty damn good but my fave lines are from the second two including the lit rat-runs etc ...cool imagery. excellento columbo



posted on Jun, 18 2004 @ 05:08 AM
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Thank you blankshe, I appreciate your comments! I like going out into town and watching all the rats run around, through the neon rat-runs that lead to spending and consuming all the time.



posted on Jun, 18 2004 @ 05:26 PM
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Originally posted by earthtone
I have worn the same clothes for days
and still nobody knows my name.



i LOVE these two lines



posted on Jun, 18 2004 @ 05:49 PM
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Thanks you. I didn't think it needed anymore than that.



posted on Jun, 20 2004 @ 06:08 AM
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awaiting your next composition



posted on Jun, 20 2004 @ 06:20 AM
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Really? well I'm flattered. However I may be working on my short story submission for a little while



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