Texas Sized Trolling

reply to post by ripcontrol


Well, I'm not sure your intent here, to get flags and star, or to get a Texan to kill you.

Being that I am in Florida and have lived here the majority of my life, I'm neither going to support your rhetoric, nor attack it, I am however going to say I spot criminals, corrupt individuals, politicians not being honest, no matter what state.

Having said that, I have no animosity towards you, but this is trending to directing hatred towards Texans, and you need to tread carefully, as ATS Administration might not tolerate it.

I've written the Governor of Texas, never getting a reply, but that's neither here nor there.

I know the history of Texas, and I'm not going to argue it, I will just say this last line.

Remember the Alamo.

[edit on 2-3-2010 by SpartanKingLeonidas]

reply to post by ladyinwaiting


Damn straight about the guy thing.

You know even though they have not many trees, they have a TON of venison grocery stores out there.

Sorry, I am a throwback to the dark ages.

My family in the whole cousins/uncles/friends, use nature to fill our freezers for our food.

I feel a lot of the country just cannot understand that attitude.

Like I said earlier, ATTITUDE.

Like one of my favorite musicians say, BACKSTRAP FEVER!

reply to post by SpartanKingLeonidas


Yeah, I did not understand the total aspects of the thread.

So I and maybe others took it a different route.

Sorry OP, I just did not catch all of the aspects of the OT.

Anyway, everyone carry on. I am getting a LITTLE buzzed tonight.

Sorry if I hijacked anything.

Doc Velocity, you made me choke on my drink I was laughing so hard.

Native Texan here....

You must watch your words down here. Growing up here I know you only start what you can finish or you will have a Lone Star bottle busted over your face. As Doc said earlier.

I moved to NJ and worked in NYC for a few years and was amazed at what you did not have to finish. I was so relieved of stress everyday from the constant cussing back and forth with people on the street and just being able to walk off with all my limbs and vital organs intact.

Example: I was creeping along Lexington Ave. one night in the brutal traffic trying to make my to the Holland tunnel to go home. The guys next to me lane was blocked and I was fed up and was not going to let him over for nothing. This went on for about fifteen minutes until he finally scratched the side of my door with his bumper. I jumped out screaming what are you f$@#*n stupid or something? The entire street was looking at me like the nut that I am. I ran to his window and repeated my vulgar question and all he would say is no I am not stupid and rolled up his window. Three grown men in the van.

Something I was not used to. I loved it.

edit to add: I put more Manhattan miles on my car than a cabbie. I was a bit stressed.


[edit on 2-3-2010 by timewalker]

reply to post by endisnighe


Yes, guy thing, but I kinda like it anyway. All this Attitude.

And, after I go, if any Texan comes in here saying they have trees, let me reply in advance:

No, those are Shrubs. Shrubs and bushes. If you are driving East accross the state you don't see a real tree until you get to Louisiana. Now they have trees!

I'm a 4th generation Texan and the only thing a real Texan pays any attention to are oil leases. Oh yeah, and Willie!!!

and lady, you don't need trees when you got pump jacks for shade.



Everything else is "all hat, no cattle"




[edit on 2-3-2010 by whaaa]

Let me tell you something....Dont mess with Texas. LOL

I have lived in the state for most of my life and I can proudly say it is very sane here. We dont put up with crap but at the same time we are polite. We do not talk a lot of crap but if we do, we will back it up. We do speak with a terrible accent but when we do speak you better believe it will be either funny or wise. We do enjoy a good time but when it is time to work, we work like no other. We are called simple but everyone wants a piece of us.

Come on down and give us a try. I promise you will never leave or never forget!

I love it. All you have to do is put Texas in the title and we come like fly's to garbage.

Originally posted by ladyinwaiting
You have NO TREES.
WHERE are your TREES???
But you don't eat in outdoor cafes, because there are NO trees.
You guys need to plant some damn trees.

...i had the misfortune of meeting this not-so-bright ol' gal from oregon who moved to dallas and thought ALL of texas was flat as a pancake because thats all she could see living in snotwater dallas... i showed her lots of photos to help her understand that texas has amazingly varied landscapes - but - she preferred her view in snotwater and, well, what can ya do except pity the poor ol' thang...

...btw, we got trees - lotsa trees even... amazingly enough, theres even a big aced portion of east texas called the piney woods cuz it is (mostly piney that is but theres a nice mix of hardwoods too)... in my yard, i have massive LiveOaks (thats a type of oak tree, not the opposite of dead oak, lol) and pecan trees (pronounced pee-can, unless you're talkin' about pie and thats always pronounced pah-con)...

Originally posted by bonesinis


Come on down and give us a try. I promise you will never leave or never forget!

Well, that's not quite the case. There are more rich Texans living in Santa Fe than live in Fort Worth. Mostly very wealthy widows or divorcées.

But it takes more than buying a Bailey, a pair of Tony Lamas and a dip of Skoal to make a Texan. It's a state of mind that Northerners and Yankees can't ever understand.



[edit on 2-3-2010 by whaaa]

If Texans are so smart, why do they keep electing scum like Perry?

BTW, Perry was reelected today.

Originally posted by endisnighe
I swear the more I hear of things there, it sounds exactly the same as Wisconsin or pretty much any Midwestern state.

Well, back around 1994, I was driving hot-shot truck runs out of Texas with my younger brother, and we occasionally made runs up to Wisconsin, as a matter of fact.

For those who don't know, a "hot-shot" run is when you're on-call 24-7 to jump in your truck, pick up a load of industrial equipment and run it non-stop straight through to its destination, which is usually some company needing parts for an emergency repair. Your "load" might be a single palette of gaskets or it might be a 3-ton part for a giant gas compressor, and your destination might be Louisiana or Florida or Wisconsin or Arizona. You never knew, and you had no time to prepare, only to respond.

Once you take the job, you're on the clock, trying to beat a deadline.

So, my brother and I took turns driving — he'd sleep for a few hours while I drove, then we'd swap places, stopping only to gas-up. This type of driving sometimes entails bypassing weigh stations, okay. You don't have time for the delay.

Anyhow, one time we ran one big piece of equipment up to Appleton, Wisconsin. We beat the deadline with hours to spare, dropped off the load, then started heading back through the western side of Wisconsin, heading toward Dubuque.

Out in the middle of nowhere, we ran across a little beer joint waay out off the beaten track, and we decided to juice up a little before taking a nap.

This place was full of hardcore Wisconsin rednecks, drunk and loud and shooting pool and watching the Packers on a 20" color television. In a way, it was very familiar, so I was glad we were both packing guns and boot-knives.

We were careful not to talk too loudly, lest they noticed our pronounced Texas accents.

But, of course, my little brother started buying drinks for the cheesehead chicks, and we soon had a couple of "girlfriends" sharing our tab. They were tickled to find out we were real Texans; accordingly, everybody in the place soon knew we were Texans.

And, aside from the babes drinking up our money, the rest of the patrons didn't like us. Everywhere I looked, some cheesehead was glaring at me.

As we got a little liquored-up, the tension eased, and we even got bold enough to start playing a few games of doubles on the cheesy pool tables. The thing about my little brother is that, as he gets drunker, he gets louder — I'm just the opposite, the drunker I get, the less talkative I become, which is a survival technique I learned a long time ago.

So, before long, after we'd played a few games with our cheesehead "girlfriends," the cheesehead guys started challenging the table, and we were soon playing straight-eight against a bunch of surly cheesehead rednecks.

Well... I knew we were in trouble when these clowns began calling us on our shots, citing local game rules. They were making up the rules as they went, of course, just to antagonize us. I was getting pissed and sullen, but my little brother was getting louder and more abrasive.

According to my Texas instincts, a fight was about to break out.

When I got a chance, I collared my brother and whispered to him, telling him to be ready. To my surprise and alarm, my brother laughed out loud:

"Why, these goddamned yankees don't want no trouble, do ya?"

My hand was instantly behind my back, under my jacket, gripping the Ruger Security-Six that was holstered there inside my waistband. But... To my greater surprise, the rednecks around us looked stunned by my brother's sudden outburst.

Angry, yes. But they were suddenly all wary of us. "Hell no, brother, we don't want no trouble, eh?" I mean, they were pissed off, I could tell, but they were immediately backing down!

Which was an unusual experience for me. In Texas, fists would already be flying, chairs breaking, people running for the doors.

The cheeseheads moved away from us, moving back to the bar, leaving us to finish our game between ourselves and our "girlfriends"... This was a totally new experience for me — these guys were avoiding a fight.

Shortly thereafter, we settled our considerable tab, bought a six-pack for the road, and headed out into the pitch-black parking lot, where I was expecting an ambush. No ambush, surprisingly. Bidding our erstwhile girlfriends adieu, we climbed in the truck and rumbled off into the night, headed for a truckstop back on the main highway about 20 miles away.

"That was pretty weird, wasn't it?" I said to my brother, "The way they backed off?"

He chuckled and admitted that he had told the girls that we came in there for the exclusive purpose of busting heads, that we were just waiting for a reason to tear the place up. The girls had passed this pertinent information on to their cheesehead friends, which is why they suddenly became wary.

In short, they thought we were crazy. Which, after a 19-hour drive from Houston to Appleton, was probably pretty close to the truth.

— Doc Velocity

Originally posted by bonesinis
Come on down and give us a try. I promise you will never leave or never forget!

...ahem!... dont ya know that ya gotta ask permission to invite foreigners to live here?... tsk, tsk, tsk... the next meeting is on the 1st, under the big tree across from the bridge just outside of town, be there by noon - byob...

Originally posted by timewalker
I love it. All you have to do is put Texas in the title and we come like fly's to garbage.

You're right there brother! I knew there were a few us on here, but I had no idea about some of these folks being from Texas.

We all need to get together sometime.

reply to post by whaaa


C'mon whaaa, us Yanks are not ALL that bad. Of course, most of us are just a bunch of mutts with no real US roots.

early 1800's-Mothers side came from Wisconsin(damn Norwegians), grandfather came here to help cut down the forests(of course there are more trees here now then when they started) and destroy nature.

Frelling use to love partying with him, seen him knock out a punk at the bar I use to take him to, while he was in the OFH. Damn, I miss his ass.

Anyway, the father came from California (Damn Germans) from the beginning of the 18th century.

The US is truly a melting pot and what other country can say that!

God Bless and Peace folks. Damn it!

Just wanted to chime in that this is not exclusively a guy thread. Born and raised Texan female here, and I agree with everything my fellow Texans have posted.

BTW: I live in the part of TX called the Big Thicket, which by Texas standards is close to the Piney Woods. We've got trees all around these parts!

Originally posted by Vitchilo
If Texans are so smart, why do they keep electing scum like Perry?

BTW, Perry was reelected today.

...i didnt vote for that scum - EVER... he pulled a big aced scam a couple years ago and tried to force girls in public elementary schools to take the hpv vaccine, which he had stock in (cha-ching!)... actually, scum is too nice of a word for him... and dont even get me started on my opinion of men who use hairspray...

I was born and raised in central PA (Harrisburg). In late 99 I moved to TX for a 3-month consulting gig. I fell in love with the place instantly and after my contract got extended another 3 months, I had my family move down with me (I was flying back every other weekend or so to see them).

The things I love about TX -

People are MUCH nicer. Just a friendlier all around. Try striking up a conversation with the person in line behind you at the food store. I was used to getting a dirty look and damned near shocked when people here would respond and carry a conversation.

People don't need a legal agreement to reach a simple compromise - simply your word and a handshake will do.

People aren't as hung up on have's and have-not's. Most of the folks I grew up with were very affluent and if you looked like you didn't belong in their circles (or the talk-o-the-town said you shouldn't), you didn't

Cost of living is much cheaper. I almost doubled my salary moving here and paid less to live both in taxes and typical living costs.

Contrary to popular belief, TX is not all tumbleweeds and saloons. I was in culture-shock for a few years just getting used to all the concrete, traffic and amount of retail/business/people

People get along down here - regardless of color, ethnicity or social class. People who looked and acted like they'd shoot your for your wristwatch back in PA would here discuss local news, weather or sports (Cowboys - yuck!)

All in all it's a take it for what you will thing. For those that have never set foot here I'd suggest a visit before you make comments.


P.S. About 75% of the folks I've met or worked with in the last 10 years here are all from the Northern states.

Originally posted by Vitchilo
If Texans are so smart, why do they keep electing scum like Perry?

BTW, Perry was reelected today.

Who did you vote for/recommend/campaign for?

Originally posted by ladyinwaiting
I have this to say about Texas, then I shall depart. You have NO TREES. WHERE are your TREES??? You guys need to plant some damn trees.

That is the opinion of somebody who has only driven around in the Texas panhandle and the metropolitan areas.

As was mentioned, there's a giant forest, over 200 miles long by 80 miles wide, in East Texas called "The Big Thicket," which is one of the most astonishing areas of bio-diversity on the continent. There are forests of pine trees back in the Piney Woods that are over a hundred feet tall, easily 6 feet in diameter — it's a major lumbering area for Kirby Lumber, Champion Papers, and a number of other major wood-processing corporations.

Umm, there's a lot of giant Live Oak all over the state, not to mention Giant Cypress trees along the many rivers in Texas that are absolutely enormous, like, 15-feet in diameter.

Texas has beau coup trees, my dear.

As for eating outdoors, I could name a hundred places in Texas, no problem, not the least of which is Grins in San Marcos, Texas, where I attended SWTSU back in the 70s. Grins was a beer, nacho and burger place with superb food and drink, but the restaurant was built on a steep hillside, supported on stilts, so the outdoor dining deck was actually among the treetops — beautiful in the spring and summer and fall. Plus, all the Austin bands used to tour through Grins, including The Banded Geckos and even Willie Nelson.

So, anyone who thinks Texas is "flat" and "treeless" has never really been to Texas. You may have visited one small area in the north of the state, but Texas is a huge state, it's like 6 different ecological biomes, from mountains to desert to plains to forests to jungles to swamps. You can't visit one small area and judge the whole state.

— Doc Velocity