Somebody please help?

I am desperately searching for answers because I fear that my marriage is at stake. My husband recently completed his 3rd degree into Masonry in Illinois. Please don't take me for a nut or for someone who is out to badmouth Masonry for that truly isn't my intentions. I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness until I became a teenager. When I became a teen I removed myself from religion. I have always said that I was very mixed up where religion is concerned. I never really gave much thought to Masonry, never understood what it meant or anything. Completely stupid about it. When my husband came home one day telling me he wanted to become a Mason I became very uncomfortable. Of course I told him it was his own decision to make. He is a very good man, with good morals and a strong sense of right and wrong...and a police officer. I could never interfere with his right to believe in what he wants or attempt to prevent him from choosing his own form of worship. However, this is tearing me apart. He went for his first degree. When he came home from it I freaked out for no reason. He was the very devil standing in front of me. I know this sounds ridiculous...please bear with me. I couldn't even stand to be in the same room with him. It was days before I could even stand for him to even casually touch me. It was as if something evil was radiating from him. Can you imagine his bewilderment? I finally broke down and told him what was wrong, that I couldn't explain it but something about it scared me. I also firmly insisted that he not quit, that he continue on if that was what he truly wanted to do. One of his friends who is also a Mason offered to talk to me about Masonry. He sent home a pamphlet for me to look at. My husband left it on the desk for me. When I seen it I became hysterical, I couldn't read it, I just sat there feeling terrified for no good reason. I had to throw it out. I began trying to research Masonry on the net and found an actual Masonic site that listed what happened with the first three degrees. I tried to keep an open mind and alleviate my fears. Most of what I found I considered harmless in some ways. A couple of the Oaths I found very offensive but that is getting off the topic. When my husband went for his second degree, the same thing, I was very upset and couldn't explain why. I refused to talk to him about any of it because I didn't want to influence him. He would ask and I would just tell him that I couldn't talk to him about what I was feeling. The night he came home from the 3rd degree I felt as though I had been put thru the wringer. What right did I have to take away his pride in achieving the 3rd degree? I couldn't do it but then again I couldn't stand to be close to him either. I still felt like something evil was surrounding him. So, it's either cause him unhappiness and force him to quit something he enjoys doing or continue to feel like I'm losing my mind with no explanations. I don't understand this. Of all things that could come between a husband and a wife, this was the very last thing I thought could cause trouble for us. We have a very strong marriage. I've tried reading up on both the Anti Masonic sites as well as the Masonic sites. I've learned some about Freemasonry and in my mind I can see what it tries to stand for. But when your gut instinct is screaming that something is wrong....how do you fight it? I don't know which way to turn. Please, if anyone can share their insight I would be very grateful.

You need psychiatric help.
Seriously. Go talk to someone. You might find that will help.

Did you ever wonder why you are feeling this way? Is it just that it is a "secret" society? Basically there are tons of information on the masons and you can learn 90% of it on the internet just by going to a Masonic Grand Lodge site. If you have checked real masonic sites, the you will see what the craft is about. It is about caring for others and making the world a better place and being an upright person to people and before God. The symbols all have meaning that deal with morality and virtues and when you think about them, they remind you how to live your life and make it better. It sounds like the problems sound like they run alot deeper than joining the masons. If you have specific questions, please ask. There are a few of us Masons on the board and will answer yourquestions the best we can.

probably just subconscious reaction based on fears.

try an experiment. have your husband go away for a few hours , sometimes to masonic stuff, sometimes to wherever else and see if u can tell the difference.

Thanks for yet another lengthy, contrived, "I know how I'll personally sink Freemasonry" post. We've never seen one of these before, but here is the problem:

originally posted by hope4me
I began trying to research Masonry on the net and found an actual Masonic site that listed what happened with the first three degrees. I tried to keep an open mind and alleviate my fears. Most of what I found I considered harmless in some ways. A couple of the Oaths I found very offensive but that is getting off the topic.

So the "actual" Masonic site revealed the contents of the Three Degrees? I'm sure the portrayal was quite accurate, perhaps an illustrated one as well? My personal favorite is the one that shows a Mason shaking hands with the Devil, but that's getting "off topic". Please reply with a link to this Oath providing treasure trove of Masonic knowledge, just in case there's one that I haven't seen yet.

originally posted by hope4me
I've tried reading up on both the Anti Masonic sites as well as the Masonic sites. I've learned some about Freemasonry and in my mind I can see what it tries to stand for.

The "fair and balanced" hope of credibility, if you could please forward the Masonic sites that you used as a contrasting view to the hate sites (we both know there aren't any, you'll have to do a search and come up with some). I'm glad that you have an idea about what Freemasonry "tries" to stand for, I have an idea what your post "tries" to say, but I don't blame you personally, after all here is the real culprit. Yes, once again Freemasonry Watch chat was banned by a host, you had nowhere else to go. The final two glaring errors of your post, you claim a "Satanic" presence, yet you never sought counsel from clergy (whatever denomination you currently practice?), and finally, if your concern for your marriage was the motivation for this "plea" for help why wouldn't you use the member name "hope4us"? The choice is now yours, you can return to Freemasonry Watch and the friendly environs of your coconspirators, or reregister here under a new login name and try over again.




[Edited on 31/5/2004 by Mirthful Me]

My first wife had an unfounded objection to my membership and progress.

I am happier and more fulfilled away from that marriage, for reasons broader than, and including that.

Is fear of the unknow, once you educate yourself on the principles of his believes you are going to understand and feel much better, I am not link to a any mason but when I became interested in their so call secret society that to me is not secret at all I understood most of their believes and rituals and is very interesting.

Please educate yourself first before doing something drastic.

I too wonder what sites you did your research on, hope4me. Could you post them here?

I really must say, of all the Masons I've met here, I feel nothing but good vibrations from. Now, if the good in them can come through their words, how much greater should it be in the flesh.
Open your heart to your true feelings? Is there a possiblity you resent his new friends? That he found something to believe in that exclues you?

Originally posted by DontTreadOnMe
...Is there a possiblity you resent his new friends? That he found something to believe in that exclues you?

Of course there is always the Eastern Star. Now that he is a Master Mason you can both join that together and learn much more and be included. BTW, the women run the show in the Eastern Star, maybe you could be a Worthy Matron someday

A close friend of mine was recently appointed District Deputy Grand Master in the Council in my York Rite District. He told me that he mentioned to his wife this would mean 16 more meetings for the year. He said his wife gave him a shrew look, and told him he was either going to have to give up sex or the Masons. So, he tells me, sex had to go!

Originally posted by DontTreadOnMe
I too wonder what sites you did your research on, hope4me. Could you post them here?

I really must say, of all the Masons I've met here, I feel nothing but good vibrations from. Now, if the good in them can come through their words, how much greater should it be in the flesh.

Well, you know, DTOM, I would never try to solicit anyone to membership in any kind of Masonic Order, but have you ever thought about checking out the Eastern Star, or Co-Masonry, or anything of the sort? You're an intelligent and spiritual person, so...

Can't say any more... sorry, rules of the Order

[Edited on 31-5-2004 by AlexKennedy]

Dear hope4me

Lets look at the first post and take it at face value.

the first part of the problem is looking at Freemasonry as a religion , a new faith.

You said:

I could never interfere with his right to believe in what he wants or attempt to prevent him from choosing his own form of worship.

Now if you start off with the mindset that Masonry is a religion, and you have any seed of distrust . You could well conjure up the feelings of devil imagery.

He is a very good man, with good morals and a strong sense of right and wrong...and a police officer.

So your guy is not stupid and he is a decent person. Has he stopped being a decent person?

But when your gut instinct is screaming that something is wrong....how do you fight it?

Well you fight this, what you seem to accept an unreasonable fear by doing just what you have done . You talk it out. I am always at your disposal if you need any information or just to find out why? Why guys join the Masons.

The big question which should relieve your original fear "is Masoney a religion"?
Now every Grand Lodge in the world. Has a policy statment that Masonry is not a religion.
My personal argument against those who say it is, is very simple. How do you get a person to become part of a religion if he does not know he is part of it. you dont become a JW and not realise you are a JW.
all the Masons that know who have a religious inclination, attend Lodge on say Wednesday and then Church on Sunday. Why , why would they go to Church if they have found a new religion. Why would they need it.

I would be interested to know, do you and your husband attend Church together?

This may well tell the rest of the story?

DTOM, take heed to AK's words, the Eastern Star is not a bad thought, I hear that the ritual work is something to behold. OMG, ML made a funny...sort of.

Take the plunge, DTOM.

While I have given it some thought, I do not fit the profile:

Members must be eighteen years or older and either Master Masons in good standing or properly related to a Master Mason in good standing. The latter category includes wives; widows; sisters; daughters; mothers; granddaughters; step-mothers; step daughters; step-sisters; and half-sisters. In 1994 this was expanded to include nieces, daughters-in- law, and grandmothers.

Or, am I missing something here?
At any rate, MM and AK, I thank you for your thoughts. Believe me, I am not sitting idly by. I am working on something, which will be shared at a later date.

OK, I know I shouldn't do this, but...

DTOM, just to let you know, there's a Big Masonic Secret that the Eastern Star has been hiding for years.

Want to hear it?

OK, it's like this:

Everybody's related to a Mason, somehow.

Remember, the Mason to whom you're related doesn't actually have to be alive.

So, if at any point in the history of Humankind, someone to whom you are related received even their first degree, you can join the Star.

I recently read about a survey which said that 95% of the people whose instincts tell them that something's wrong, or strange or maybe suspicion of whatever that they are right about their instincts.

Like i said in my recent post, i know of a friend(best friend) who is involved with someone who is a mason, and since she met him there all kinds of weird stuff going on with her and she tells me about it all the time. She too has strange instincts based on his behaviour and the things he says to her are crazy it makes me wonder. I have visited different sites on masonry(brotherhood) and was astonished by what i found out. Some said good things some was unbelievable.
I have also talked to a christian friend of mine and he said that being in that lodge was not of God, but i don't know, and it's uncomfortable to not know what's going on in your home or surrounding especially to a wife or girlfriend. I would really like to know the truth on this but like i've been told by many they doubt it.
But i will follow my instincts here unless the day i found out otherwise no offense to anyone who is a mason( i don't hate them) just keeping my eyes and ears wide open and being carefull.

Simply sounds, if this is a real post, that you are projecting your past bad experiance with the JW religion onto your husband. The question would be how do you stop doing this? Really very easy. First talk to your husband about the Masons, talk to his friend aswell. If you loved/liked, trusted these men before, and there isn't any change in them, there is no reason you shouldn't believe them at face value.

Now if your husband started acting weird, and actually doing demonic things, then yes I'd feel uneasy aswell, but he hasn't, so take a rational view of the situation, and approach it as an adult.

DO NOT, try to find out about an orginization from Anti- said orginizations websites. If your husband was in the military, would you go to someone that has never been in the military, or someone that hates the military, and expect to find sound advice? How could someone thats never been in the orginization know what the orginization is about, they can't.

On the same note, don't take the orginizations information at face value. Ofcource an orginization is going to be partial to itself.

Oh no, stuck in a hard place, where to look? How about we look at the orginizations members, are they upstanding citizens? Does the orginization sponser charities? What are the charities?

Second, address your feelings, cause they aren't about your husband, there about YOU. You experianced something in your life that has led you to react this way, deal with it, or it will deal with you.

Lastly, always expect people to be truthful and honest. Yes I know not everyone is, but my Grandfather gave me some good advice. Granted it was about my car, but it was a life leason...

You can sit there driving down the road, listening to every little sound the car makes, worring about the next thing thats going to go wrong. What does that do? Well, it makes your drive and time with the car stressful, and ya know what, when the car does brake down, all the worring didn't stop it.

Originally posted by ELY

But i will follow my instincts here unless the day i found out otherwise no offense to anyone who is a mason( i don't hate them) just keeping my eyes and ears wide open and being carefull.

That is the absolutely correct attitude to have.

Masonry should be questioned and explained.

If it is afraid of questions. then it gives the impression that it has something to hide. Which is where all this mistrust starts.

i figure there are 'good' lodges, but like anything there are most likely 'bad' lodges that may not follow true masonry or such. perhaps he is with one of these 'bad' lodges. or maybe i'm just talking out of my ass!! I just figure there are churches that are corrupt, as with other religions, there are always corrupt people, so it would make sence that masonry is not any more safe from that than anything.

Originally posted by zoe_jane
i figure there are 'good' lodges, but like anything there are most likely 'bad' lodges that may not follow true masonry or such. perhaps he is with one of these 'bad' lodges. or maybe i'm just talking out of my ass!!

There are no "bad" Lodges.
All Lodges come under the auspices of a Grand Lodge and as such are regulated. A Lodge cannot deviate from proscribed masonry or it will have it's warrant withdrawn.
No Lodge would be able to hide bad practice from it's Grand Lodge either - any visiting mason (and there are always a few at any Lodge meeting) would report any misdemeanour.