leftystrat for President

Every few years I poke my head out of the hole and don't see my shadow, so I decide to run for president. The joke's on me as I live in Pennsylvania, where we don't see shadows because we never have any sun. London called: it wants its weather back. And Alaska is pissed that we got all their snow plus this year.

Tired of seeing the place run to hell by fools and idiots, I have decided to do more than whine: I will run for office myself. Observe my platform (as I saw its legs off):

* DUI's: if you are pulled over and fail a medical test, you are shot on site.
* Income tax: abolished. We're slashing government up to 85% and more!
* Child molesters: the highest recidivism rate short of cigarette smokers! Shoot them and they'll never do it again.
* Open Borders: there will be a three foot wide opening at each border. Fill in the paperwork and we'll get back to you.
* Tax breaks for the left-handed
* War on wars: we're pulling out, so to speak. No more troops, nowhere. Keep our troops safe - bring them home NOW!
* Congress will have to use an HMO - no more healthcare crisis!
* Anyone non-peacefully blocking abortion clinics will be shot.
* Turn signals: failure to use them = the death penalty (bye bye New Jersey)
* Prayer in Congress? Ok, start tomorrow's session with a satanic prayer. Problem solved.
* Americans Idle: You must take an IQ test and if you flunk, you may watch it.
* Guns: you can't ban what's guaranteed to you. Same with speech.
* `Random' Stops: cut the crap, it's illegal search and seizure
* Public cameras: will be repointed at the elected to remind them we're watching.
* Abortion: mandatory for male religious fascists.
* Sorry, NSA, I must have tripped over that splitter. Show me the warrant.
* Fender - the national guitar (April is National Guitar Month)


Campaign Slogans

* Vote for lefty - he certainly couldn't be any worse!
* Vote for lefty - a vacuum tube in every stereo!
* Vote for lefty - Skull and Bones wouldn't HAVE him!
* Vote for lefty - even the libertarians don't know what to do with him!
* Vote for lefty - he may be unattractive and short and lacking in experience but........



I'd be deader than a Kennedy before I hit the oval office.
It would be hard to find a group I *haven't* offended yet.

What do you say?

If you were in charge of the country, America would be ruined within months.

hmmm...perhaps you'd like a right handed strat player from the left coast as a running mate...we'd have to fine tune some of your ideas, but I think I'd like to give it a shot.

I think that you want to see a lot of Americans dead without a fair trial.

* DUI's: if you are pulled over and fail a medical test, you are shot on site.
* Child molesters: the highest recidivism rate short of cigarette smokers! Shoot them and they'll never do it again.
* Anyone non-peacefully blocking abortion clinics will be shot.
* Turn signals: failure to use them = the death penalty (bye bye New Jersey)
* Abortion: mandatory for male religious fascists.

I would find it quite hard to vote for someone who basically wants to go on a killing spree.

Where do I sign up?

Can I be Secretary Of Energy?

Originally posted by Signals
Where do I sign up?

Can I be Secretary Of Energy?

Why not president of vice?

I actually thought about going point for point with you but I have a feeling it would be lost. You will grow up and when you do if you still hold onto these things you will have a sad lonely life.

I wouldnt vote for anyone not knowing the name of the band they are in. But I like your ideas. Someone needs to haul a marshall stack into the oval office and crank it up. Dick Cheney's ghost is still in there dude, be careful when you win the election. I know the sun never shines in Pittsburgh. whEre u from?

Originally posted by whatukno
I think that you want to see a lot of Americans dead without a fair trial.

Worked for Bush.

[it's humor, fella. Unwad the panties.]

Originally posted by Subjective Truth
You will grow up and when you do if you still hold onto these things you will have a sad lonely life.

No, I refuse to grow up. It has worked out fairly well thus far.
Thanks for the concern, though.

reply to post by leftystrat


Sorry, although I can see the merits in many of your policies, I'm afraid that you will not be allowed to remain incumbent as long as there is a 'Les paul' Liberation front to oppose you.

Originally posted by Asktheanimals
Someone needs to haul a marshall stack into the oval office and crank it up. Dick Cheney's ghost is still in there dude, be careful when you win the election. I know the sun never shines in Pittsburgh. whEre u from?

Marshalls in the oval office!
Jeff Beck will be the First Musician
the ex-Leo Fender will be the next national hero

Suburban Philthy, just 8 short hours away.

We need to get back to the Clinton days, when it was the Oral Office

Originally posted by Icerider

Sorry, although I can see the merits in many of your policies, I'm afraid that you will not be allowed to remain incumbent as long as there is a 'Les paul' Liberation front to oppose you.

($*#ing politics get into EVERYTHING!

Before it hits the papers, I wanted you to be the first to know: I own one very sweet Les Paul and two not-so-sweet ones.

But I draw the line at being picked on by groups who play the guitar backwards (right-handed).

reply to post by liquidsmoke206


I dig your campaign photo!
It says a lot.

i will not vote for anybody who has a triple post in their own thread :/