Man Flu!

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/d0b70c8377b6.jpg[/atsimg]


.......Need i say anymore.

Ok i will a lil' bit, Man flu is oh so real and it's deadly people!

And it's now got me!

So i'm not making it up, here is some Scientific man flu facts i dug up.....

1. Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth. This is an irrefutable scientific fact*.
*(Based on a survey of over 100,000 men.)

2. Man-Flu is not 'just a cold'. It is a condition so severe that the germs from
a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of people living in the
rainforest. And probably loads of monkeys too.

3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is
medically recognised as a 'Mild Girly Sniffle' – which, if a man caught, he would
still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half and compete in
all other kinds of manly activities.

4. Men do not 'moan' when they have Man-Flu. They emit involuntary groans
of agony that are entirely in proportion to the unbearable pain they are in.

5. Full recovery from Man-Flu will take place much quicker if their simple
requests for care, sympathy and regular cups of tea are met. Is that really so
much to ask? Florence Nightingale would have done it (THIS part cracked me UP)

6. More men die each year from MFN (Man-Flu Neglect) than lots and lots of
other things. (Like rabbit attacks or choking on toast).

7. Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed and
come to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful condition
amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense, they are the greatest
heroes this country has ever known.

8. In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonising symptoms of full
blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. She became so ill that her head literally fell
off.

9. Man-Flu germs are more powerful than He-Man, The Thundercats and The
A-Team combined. They are too strong for weak, nasty tasting 'lady
medicines' like Lemsip, so don't bother trying to force them on a victim of
Man-Flu.

10. While it may seem like a Man-Flu sufferer is just lying around enjoying
'Diagnosis Murder' it is a commonly recognised medical fact that the exact
pitch and frequency of D*ck Van Dyke's voice has remarkable soothing
powers.

allnurses.com...

See Tis Scientific

and a few LOL's!

3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is
medically recognised as a 'Mild Girly Sniffle' – which, if a man caught, he would
still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half and compete in
all other kinds of manly activities.

I can't believe this is actually on here.
You realize how much crap you're gonna get for this?


'Tis hilarious indeed tho!

Oh..I see..they have re-named "BIG BABY" syndrome.
:shk:

reply to post by AccessDenied




Nope same old REAL man flu.

Didn't you read the scientific man flu facts above proving it's deadly existence

[edit on 22-2-2010 by Rising Against]

Originally posted by Rising Against
reply to post by AccessDenied

 

Nope same old REAL man flu.

Didn't you read the scientific man flu facts above proving it's deadly existence

[edit on 22-2-2010 by Rising Against]

Pffft..all in your head.
Ya'll would scream PMS if you could get away with using that as an excuse.

reply to post by AccessDenied


In response to your reply, I concur.
If we men had to deal with one ounce of pain from pregnancy....ewww.

But still. It is a funny thread!

Haha i know, there is no way i agree with those "scientific man flu claims"

Man flu is real though! and this is how i feel right now....

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/51e0cf89bdeb.jpg[/atsimg]




[edit on 22-2-2010 by Rising Against]

Case Closed....

#3 is a blatant lie... I know this because Im suffering from man flu currently, and my head may actually fall off.
Whats interesting about this is that it was originally a hangover, but sneakily turned into man flu overnight.

This is an accurate depiction of how Im feeling at the moment.

reply to post by zazzafrazz




It's funny because it's true


reply to post by Bluebelle

This is an accurate depiction of how Im feeling at the moment.

Ok you win with the dead squirrel

...Hmm never thought i'd ever say that.:shk:

[edit on 22-2-2010 by Rising Against]

PMS is worse on our end.... *ducks*

Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed and
come to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful condition
amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense, they are the greatest
heroes this country has ever known.

*tears, welling up...in my eyes....holds hat to his heart* God Bless America!

Seriously though...external pain, no problem. Our foot is dangling by a small piece of tendon...ouch! that stings a bit... But INTERNAL pain....well, we are just ill-equipped for that....

reply to post by Rising Against


One of lifes great lessons that we must all learn at some point - the dead/flattened squirrel always wins. Write that down.

Man flu, pffft you should see my mother when she's ill, she would walk away with an Oscar bless her!

reply to post by Gazrok

Seriously though...external pain, no problem. Our foot is dangling by a small piece of tendon...ouch! that stings a bit... But INTERNAL pain....well, we are just ill-equipped for that....

No truer word's have ever been uttered in a conspiracy site.... No truer words!


Although to be fair, foot hanging off is a little worse than "that stings a bit" but i get what you're saying

Originally posted by Bluebelle
reply to post by Rising Against

 

One of lifes great lessons that we must all learn at some point - the dead/flattened squirrel always wins. Write that down.

I'll add it to The list

[edit on 23-2-2010 by Rising Against]

reply to post by AccessDenied

Pffft..all in your head.
Ya'll would scream PMS if you could get away with using that as an excuse.

If guys could use PMS as an excuse we would have that week off from work paid each and every month.

Not to mention that if guys had PMS we would have cured it completely and permanently by now. (but retain the excuse, because dammit IM FREAKING BLOATED!)

This is a joke right? I don't know weather to laugh or take this seriously!

reply to post by SuperSlovak


Umm yes this is a joke lol

I don't see how anyone can think it was real tbh



[edit on 26-2-2010 by Rising Against]