posted on Feb, 22 2010 @ 12:41 AM
heres my 2 cents on this debate. I have a mental health disorder, borderline personality. now. i went to my GP to talk to him about the depression i
was experiencing and he put my on effexor xr. this drug could not have harmed me more if the pharm companies had been trying. It gave me extreme
anxiety, worsened my depression 10 fold (i felt very very suicidal), and i started self harming for the first time in my life with these pills.
i was then referred to the mental health clinic at our hospital to see a psychiatrist. this psychiatrist added paxil to the mix to help balance out
the anxiety caused by the effexor. after i started taking paxil, my anxiety subsided some, but it was coupled with intense feelings of being
invincible and untouchable along with homicidal ideation. yes. for the first time ever, i was fantasizing about killing people. which i found out
after some research is a rare side effect of this pill. i still felt suicidal some days, and i was still self harming, actually progressing to more
dangerous ways of hurting myself.
after a while effexor and paxil together stopped working..so they tried to experiment with dosages etc, and that only made it worse. then he took me
off effexor and put me on wellbutrin, and it was completely ineffective and caused some very intense pain in my lower back (which to this day 1 year
and a half later im still dealing with) and when i was coming off of wellbutrin i had 2 psychotic episodes in a matter of 3 days. in one episode i
attempted to leave the house with a deadly weapon with the intention of killing someone, and in the second episode 3 days later, i attempted my own
life. i barely remember these episodes, i had no control over them at all. about 2 weeks later is when i entered a group therapy program. first a
pre-therapy assessment group, and then into my actual intensive therapy program.
so i stayed on paxil for a while until it just stopped working completely. then i had another psychotic breakdown one night that nearly got me
arrested. again, i hardly remember what happened. i had ZERO control. so when i saw a doctor, they put me on prozac and i became super manic and did
not react well to these pills AT ALL.
eventually my psychiatrist just stopped prescribing meds because they flat out were not helping me. in most cases they made everything so much worse.
i was always experiencing extreme side effects that for most people, are very rare.
I was put into a therapy program called DBT or Dialectical behavioural therapy, which was specifically designed for borderline personality. half way
through my year in therapy was when i stopped taking the pills. then i focused 100% on my therapy. you know what happened? I stopped self harming.
i'd never self harmed before the meds and i havent done it since being off of them. I havent had any more psychotic episodes since i stopped with the
meds and i didnt have any of those before the meds either. I put 100% of my effort into therapy. into learning to control my own emotions and my own
thoughts and my own behaviours. and im doing ok now. im not by any means cured, but i have a much better grip on myself and the world around me having
therapy ONLY and not medication. i found that the medication made it so much harder to find any form of self control. on the medication i would go
from zero to psychotic in seconds. im not sure how the meds would have caused that problem, but it was the meds, otherwise i would have had these
problems before and after, and i havent. even dealing with a very extreme issue in the summer, when a family member died. i wasnt on pills, and i was
in complete control of myself. I handled that situation better than i ever could have thought...relying only on myself and my own personal resources.
i think that while medication may help some people, it does not help ALL people. I think that people should always try what their doctor recommends,
but you have to pay attention to yourself too, and how you're reacting to meds. I remember asking my psychologist why medications are so widely
prescribed when there are so many complications with them and his reply was that "because sometimes they do work"..so because they *sometimes* work,
everyone with problems receives a prescription. i think that therapy should ALWAYS either precede medication, or go along with medication. its much
more rewarding to go to therapy for a year and learn to control your disorder yourself. to learn that you ARE strong enough and that you DO have
control is far more liberating than simply relying on pills.
while in a way i agree that people shouldnt be taking medical advice from some random poster on ATS, i think that too many people give medications FAR
to much credit. meds are NOT for everyone.
and i apologize for such a long post, but i wanted to voice my experience with medication in hopes to open some people's eyes to the fact that they
can, for some people, do FAR more harm than good. and also to show people that medication isnt always the only answer. with help from a therapy
program you CAN learn to control these things yourself and you CAN learn to live without meds