Political Systems - Explained - Funny

While helping a nephew, doing a backup of his failed hard drive. We were opening documents that he wanted to keep and came across this one page beauty! I felt the need to share it here. Of course he could not remember where he found this info.


FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

author unknown



[edit on 20-2-2010 by redeyedwonder]

Originally posted by redeyedwonder

I know this is supposed to be funny but I don't really agree with any of them, particularly...

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

Pure Socialism wouldn't have a government. Socialism is an economic system where the producers (workers) own the means of their production (machinery, resources etc.). Nationalism is when the government owns the means of production.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

Fascism is a system where government and corporations are operated as one. You probably wouldn't be able to own two cows as the corporations would monopolize the food industry and made it illegal for you to produce your own food. Their military would enforce this law.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

You wouldn't have two cows, you, your neighbor, and the community you live in would have two cows. And you would all share the milk.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

Hmmmm that doesn't take a dictatorship, unless they think Roosevelt, Eisenhower, Johnson etc., were dictators? (I think they were but that's beside the point).

PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

Anarchists in general are not criminals or violent, just another 'statist' myth. The milk would be shared with whoever needed it, Anarchists fed their needs, not their greeds.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

An oxymoron. How can you have Anarchism and private ownership of resources? Who is going to protect your 'rights' as a private owner?
What will stop the population revolting against their exploitation? Anarchism is about putting resources in the hands of all, and away from the hands of the few who control them to their advantage.
It's just capitalism with no control, the worst thing that could ever happen to communities. They think the majority would support uncontrolled capitalism? They're obviously not very aware are they?
They must have missed all the world wide anti-globalism protests.

[edit on 2/20/2010 by ANOK]

reply to post by redeyedwonder


These are amusing, most of them with more than a grain of truth. The author's preference for "Libertarian/Anarcho-Capitalism" is very clear though. Must have been written by an anarchist who likes Ron Paul.

FYI, anarcho-capitalism is free market capitalism. It has nothing to do with johnny reb.

While I am not the author of the above descriptions, I do welcome the comments. I placed it here exactly as written. The author is unknown.