Please tell. I have a problem with this sort of thing.
I have this sort of 'tactile radar' where if I touch an object that I usually use- pencil, steering wheel, utensils- I can tell if someone else has
used it. Usually, there's a different feeling to it, a different warmth, ect. I havent been able to use it for like, say card tricks....
From the age of 2 years old ive had an anger problem and over the years without really understanding it upto the age of 15 years i had let it rule
over me. The negativity ruled most of my years and when i turned 18 a few weeks prior to my 18th birthday i started to notice that when people made me
angry i would release my external energy and focus it and channel that external energy into the people who would hurt me and my feelings.
I would make them ill within minutes and very distressing to watch as at the time i knew nothing of my abilities. 4 years later now at the age of 22
years of age i realised through my practice of meditation and letting-go of the past and of emotional baggaed that energy within can't be destroyed
it has to be transferred.
I have taught myself ways of transferring the negativity into positive vibes by understanding what ticks me off and trying to influence those same
feelings by teaching myself how to feel the feeling but turn it into something more with love and peace and not destruction that i lived with most of
I have been known to save people from accidents or fatal incidents because im so used to feeling death and negativity i know what awaits people before
it happens. Though im not proud of that im just saying that i can feel that power within.
Then there's other times I get irritated like most of us do and transfer that energy to do something devious or not so funny. I must admit i now know
how i do it but its not like a button on a television remote which you can turn the television set on and off.
The energy is related to mood and it takes a lot these days to tick me off. So for instance if im at work im okay im positive and get along with
people but if its times like yesterday i was approached by a histerical women screaming and yelling down my throat i couldn't help but feel the rage
and my body went into a total shake. So i just backed off and got back on with my job because i know that mood change will lead to something
Like the last job i had at a plant nursery working alongside a very moody women for nearly 3 months i was surrounded one day by her sarcasim and moody
mood swings and she just made too many comments that day about my lunch and everytime i complained with her smoking near me when i was trying to taste
my lunch. Something so sinicle led to her having life threatening respiratory disorders, her skin turned from norm to yellow and red rashes broke out
all over her body, she was coughing heavy, nearly stopped breathing, her throat got tight and she fainted. The ambulance was called withing minutes
they showed and half the business was sectioned off for a possibility she might have had swine flu.
But the paramedics identified the unknown occurance to Not be swine flu and they said they didn't know what was wrong with her. But the other women
who is very spiritual i will never forget what she told me. Truth sometimes is best kept quiet and it was upsetting in its own ways. She implied i was
dangerous, horrible and made it very clear i was to stay away from her. And she was deadly serious.
What made it worse is that i told her something bad was going to happen to the other women moments before it happened and i repeatedly said i didn't
mean it to happen i just don't know how to control myself.
Too late the damage was done. Mind you though that women never harrassed me again.
Another incident that occured when i went out to the cinema with my mate and his girlfriend on the way home after the movie Amy was irritating me so
much with her comments about me that i got that rage feeling and this time i know it sounds harsh but i let her taste a piece of her own nastyness and
withing minutes she was hyper ventilating, going blue and black, choking, coughing hard, struggling to breathe and got tired very quickly and fainted
a few times. After 10 minutes when i had enough she got better and withing 20 minutes of the whole thing happening it was like she hadnt experienced
anything horrible similar occurances to that women from work who would always *pee* me off.
I could go on with more stories i'd probably have to make a thread on my experience's with people who are horrible towards other's i seem to get
justice only from a few who have *pee'd* me off! Not everybody because i like to think karma will get the better of them as its not upto me what
happens to them. Especially like that women at work yesterday she was yelling and screaming at me over something she had mistakenly got me mixed up
with another employee. I think thats why i didn't inflict pain towards her because i knew something would get her sooner or later.
Anyway the point is that i don't like negativity in myself and in people because its so unhealthy and I try my best to stay healthy both in the body
and in the mind and spirit. I like to spread positive vibes because its a new feeling to my system and i enjoy the feeling and the love. I find
positive vibes scary at times because im still adjusting to feeling the goodness as i have been surrounded by a lot of negativtiy through childhood i
try to help people who have had it tough.
I believe we are destined here for things in life where you will some point in your lives experience something so horrible you would probably never
forget it! But look at it as a lesson and not a mistake as that is where i am with this now and stop blaming myself when i have been surrounded around
negative people all my life. It was my free-will that i chose i wanted to change for the better. I struggled for many years but i am where i am now
and not inflicted pain towards another person because of what i feel. I suppose its like saying ive managed to put the little bugger back in
Thankyou for taking your time to read this and I hope for the sake of other's you do not get dragged into fear, anxiety, depression, and anger.
[edit on 17-2-2010 by DClairvoyant]