The woman thing -
I was in terrible "love" with a woman - Who off course rejected me...
I went through years of sorrow - And years of figuring out what was going on inside of me.
At the same time - she off course disappeared from the face of the Earth - Always had this joke inside of me "she went to Mars".
Anyway
When the 2 human spirits get connected through the dynamic forces of life. you can can loose your entire life-force in such a degree that something
weird happens.
The thing you use to know as love - the forward positive
energy-form that makes wonders - in marriage, and In the whole deal about creating new
lifeforms (babies).
This place where everything you do seems right - it works - Your life have a direction - a path, but it's all very different compared to the pain
that arrives, when the love-connection gets cut away from the FEMALE you felt in love with.
All your energy just ends up in
the void of death. It will lead you to the area in this life - we know as death. Your death. my death. It's
the energy-force that has to do with the death-process. (dying flying away'nstuff)
All the cells in your body stops functioning the way they use to do - All your so called good intentions turns out BAD. Everything you use to know as
being easy to do - Easy to say - does not compute any more.
I had suicide thoughts - Which did not come from me at all - Something about - "dude lay your entire weight of your body over your kitchen knife,
then it will penetrate your ribs and your heart".
I thought that it did not come from me - And it didn't - It did not come from the woman I was in love with - It was a reverse life-force known as
(EXIT FROM LIFE DUDE)
I later figured out it is a natural law - Same law that makes a rose red or yellow.
And all in the end - it comes from the Sun..
within 1 month - this force made sure I lost all my friends except 1 good friend.
her story was very different - absolutely the opposite..
weird huh?
cheers
[edit on 16-2-2010 by Ram]