The woman thing -
I was in terrible "love" with a woman - Who off course rejected me...
I went through years of sorrow - And years of figuring out what was going on inside of me.
At the same time - she off course disappeared from the face of the Earth - Always had this joke inside of me "she went to Mars".
When the 2 human spirits get connected through the dynamic forces of life. you can can loose your entire life-force in such a degree that something
The thing you use to know as love - the forward positive energy-form
that makes wonders - in marriage, and In the whole deal about creating new
This place where everything you do seems right - it works - Your life have a direction - a path, but it's all very different compared to the pain
that arrives, when the love-connection gets cut away from the FEMALE you felt in love with.
All your energy just ends up in the void of death
. It will lead you to the area in this life - we know as death. Your death. my death. It's
the energy-force that has to do with the death-process. (dying flying away'nstuff)
All the cells in your body stops functioning the way they use to do - All your so called good intentions turns out BAD. Everything you use to know as
being easy to do - Easy to say - does not compute any more.
I had suicide thoughts - Which did not come from me at all - Something about - "dude lay your entire weight of your body over your kitchen knife,
then it will penetrate your ribs and your heart".
I thought that it did not come from me - And it didn't - It did not come from the woman I was in love with - It was a reverse life-force known as
(EXIT FROM LIFE DUDE)
I later figured out it is a natural law - Same law that makes a rose red or yellow.
And all in the end - it comes from the Sun..
within 1 month - this force made sure I lost all my friends except 1 good friend.
her story was very different - absolutely the opposite..
[edit on 16-2-2010 by Ram]