Personality Change??

I wanted to share my experience as of late with you here at ATS , to see if any of you are feeling some of the same things within yourself...

First, I should explain that I have always been a happy go lucky person. I have always loved to laugh, always loved people, and I have never been one to have a temper. Peaceful and playful...that was me. Now don't get me wrong... I get upset, always have, I just never really got angry...I was happy, I cried, mad, I cried, sad, I cried, tired...you guessed it, I cried... I guess you could say crying has always been my release. Hell sometimes I would cry for no reason other than I felt like it. But here lately.... I couldn't shed a tear if you payed me.

I feel anger rising up out of nowhere. I have moments where I just want to scream, lash out. I don't want to be around people, they annoy me... I find myself feeling ashamed of the feelings that I have lately. Its not me...I don't feel like me.

Before any of you say its hormonal, I have my hormones checked regularly after having the left half of my thyroid removed several years ago... I have always been one of those people that if you cried around me, I was gonna cry too, you hurt I hurt.... now I can't... I am curious if anyone else is experiencing this change......I don't really know how to explain it totally...Something mental, psychological, spiritual....I don't know... I do know that going to the doctor, that doesn't really give a rats rump about me is only going to result in the prescibing of some toxins.... that isn't the answer....is it?

reply to post by Greenize


Greenize,

I think that as you are growing in life, you are finding out that the things you see as logical and automatic are not the things everybody sees as logical...

I feel anger rising up out of nowhere. I have moments where I just want to scream, lash out. I don't want to be around people, they annoy me... I find myself feeling ashamed of the feelings that I have lately. Its not me...I don't feel like me.

It frustrates the h*ll out of me when i have the assumption that hitting somebody is wrong and i see people around me hitting one and other without any form of logic or reason.

It's like these people can not take the responsibility that comes with freedom and actually need a higher authority to look over them...

From what you write i get the notion that you are a good soul and please don't ever give up on your sense of morals and values just because your surroundings make you think otherwise....

Peace and respect.

How old are you?

What are the recent events that may of influenced you as of lately?

Identifying something from, "I've gone from empathetic to hitler like emotions" is kind of a tuffy....

I'm doing a psychology class, and am taking in people to study

Just thought i'd throw that in there.

Also, what is the duration of these psychopathic feelings.

Thank you Op!

Rep you think I am having psychopathic feelings? I do not know that I would say that....I don't want to kill people, I just don't want them around me...lol I am 42. Ok strange as this may sound, my sense of smell seems more heightened. I work in the public...everday 8-5.... people in my face all day... one of the things that sets the feelings in motion is b.o. Bad breath, unwashed bodies and clothing... that and noise... I feel like people are invading my space..... and to me and the way that I have always been... feeling that way makes me feel rude...

reply to post by Greenize


There is no cure because there is no disease.

All of these people make you who you are...... If you are a cookie, realize that you are also one with the cookie cutter. Where we are now is an inevitiblity...

reply to post by Wertdagf


Hey, no offense, that I think maybe this is the first time I might be able to agree with you! Thank you...that makes sense....

I would suggest visiting a medical professional, even if you ultimately choose to reject their diagnosis or seek out a second opinion. Even if the doctor prescribes a medicine, you don't have to fill that prescription or take the medicine if you really don't want to. But even if you get bad doctor (or a good doctor on a bad day), the visitation will allow you to have an open dialog with someone who has insights, methodologies, and experience in diagnosing illnesses that most people don't. Further, they will be able to examine you and preform screening tests which may turn up vital evidence which you may not know exists, or did not think is important/related, that would be necessary for a proper diagnosis.

The only advice anybody here can give you is going to be derived solely on what you tell us. That inability to preform independent examination significantly lowers your chance of successful diagnosis.

(Note: Also, the reference to prescription medication as "Toxins" is a loaded and inaccurate. Everything is toxic at sufficient exposure/concentrations, even our essential nutrients and the oxygen we breath. It's not the molecule or atom, but the dose which makes the poison. The LD50 (median lethal dose) is a point at which kill 50% of the population will die if given that amount. A few examples;

Vitamin C - LD50: 11,900 mg/kg of body weight.
Sodium chloride - LD50: 3,000 mg/kgBW.
Table Salt - LD50 - 3,000 mg/kgBW.
Sucrose - LD50 - 29,700 mg/kgBW.
Strychnine - LD50 - 16 mg/kgBW
ETC.)
-------------

Having said all that, personality shifts commonly occur after incidents resulting in mild to traumatic head injury. Similarly, buildup of toxins in your body that you're picking up from the local environment (home/work). Do you recall any significant bumps to the head/concussions shortly before the personality shift? Any drug overdoses? Any major change/additions to your home or workplace environment? Have there been any major or regular changes to your diet? Have you started or stopped taking any maintenance drugs?

Also, just because you're keep tabs your hormones doesn't necessarily mean they might not be the cause, or at least part of the issue. Since I don't know in what context "checked" entails, nor do I know if they're being checked fully and properly. Just from the description of the symptoms you've given in the OP, it sounds like something you might not want to discount out of hand.

Hope something works out of you.


[edit on 13-2-2010 by Lasheic]

Originally posted by Greenize
one of the things that sets the feelings in motion is b.o. Bad breath, unwashed bodies and clothing... that and noise... I feel like people are invading my space..... and to me and the way that I have always been... feeling that way makes me feel rude...

This seems directly hormonal and pheromonal rather than psychological.

It is quite common for those who don't eat meat to suddenly smell meat eaters and be of detest. It's the same thing where non-smokers can easily smell smokers with detest. The meat eaters and smokers don't smell the smells on them because their body chemistry hides the smell as natural.

Those reactions certainly are not psychopathical and are really just simple nature.

One thing to do is be sure to recognize what you feel and appreciate that you have those sense despite how those senses make you feel. You don't know what you got until it's gone. It is better to feel than not to feel, so you are right you don't want to get some drug that is going to mask it.

Once you recognize the emotions, take time to thank them for the experience you receive. Show them love, literally (to your self), say words how beautiful the moments are and what you see and sense is beautiful. These emotions have gone out of their way to make you feel something and they will greatly appreciate any love and respect shown in return.

That is just a mindset to consider to practice in thought, that is not where you have to tell your smelly boss how much you love him or her out loud where everybody hears.

Hope this helps

EDIT: one can admit to feel extremely angry as one long as one knows how to focus that anger successfully... mind over matter... no need to physically become angry

[edit on 13-2-2010 by dzonatas]

reply to post by Greenize


Hello Greenize my friend, What you are experiencing may be what I call "The Disenchantment". We grew up believeing we could stop wars and change the world. We believed in a future that was promising. As you get older and wiser, you find out its all been a lie. Religious doctrine was a lie, freedom was a lie, etc etc. Although you must function in your everyday life now, you realize that basically its all going down the toilet. There is an underlying anger because you now realize you really cannot change anything and you are just a pawn in an endgame. I suggest you surround your self with art, music, nature, and find your own spirituality. DO NOT let reality get in the way or you will go mad. True happiness can only come from within your own being, meaning dont look to others for happiness. If you are truely loved, you have already won the game.

reply to post by Greenize


I can relate to what you are saying. These days I often wonder if I am the same person I once was. So many things change, yet so many stay the same. I wouldn't worry too much about those negative feelings and emotions.

1) Are you feeling more sad and disinterested in things as of late?
2) Are you finding it hard now to achieve pleasure and happiness?

It could be a mood a change, which is a characteristic of a mental health issue like depression or anxiety. Some of things you describe point towards obsessive compulsions or actions (OCD). Is this "change" in personality affecting your life to the point where you cannot get things done and goals completed?

I strongly recommend you make an appointment with your doctor and talk about these issues. Your doctor can refer you to a mental health professional that can help you decide whether you do or do not need medication.

Don't be mislead by the bad press that anti-depressants and other medications receive. They are overwhelmingly helpful to those that take them after being prescribed to by competent doctors. They do NOT make you happy and problem free (and they can have unpleasant side-effects in rare cases), but they can make a huge difference in the way you cope and deal with feelings of despair and anger.

I know numerous people that have gained greatly from taking prescription medication. Their overall mood, levels of anxiety and temperament improve significantly.

[edit on 13/2/2010 by Dark Ghost]

Thank you all for your insights. To answer a few of the questions...No I haven't had any head trauma... I have blood drawn regularly to check hormone levels... I have been treated in the past for depression, but this is different.

Even though I have these feelings, I keep them at bay. I put on a smile and am always polite and friendly... I may lash out verbally (not meanly) ....but then again since when was speaking ones mind a bad thing....... I think maybe I will find and join a gym. Some place to release some aggression. Toxins...interesting... I just read a thread here about a certain artificial sweetener...I do drink a lot of diet soda.....may switch to unsweet tea and see if this makes a difference...

Again, thanks everyone!