about death, grief and afterlife

reply to post by Dark Ghost


The people around us, around me and my family, have surprised us these last days. Everyone is offering a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on, not because they feel obligated, but because they want to. Everyone is just reaching out...

It became very clear to me that people seem to feel that in the concept of death, we truly all stand on common ground and everyone who has experienced death from close by understands that.
Suddenly it doesn't matter anymore who you are or how much money we have, who we know or what we do...it's like this primal 'instinct' kicks in that let's us know that in essence we are all the same. To bad that in other times we tend to forget that....

As I listened to and talked to a lot of my relatives about my father's and my brother's death, It also struck me that 'grieving' is more about the self then it is about the person who died. Grief is actually a very selfish thing. I guess that is logical because all that is left in the here and now is us...and everything we say, every question we ask is about our self: “how am I going to cope? How do I go further? Could I done something more? How do I deal with this loss? How do I tell the children?” etc...

Personally I feel like I'm slowly getting my answers, as far as that is possible. But I'm glad that this situation has proven to me that I'm still standing with balance in my knowing and in my beliefs and that gives me the chance to notice the heart in the people around me and the beauty of that. I didn't notice that before when my brother died, but I'm glad I do now.
I miss my father and I am sad that he is not here with me anymore... but on the other hand, it's hard to explain, but every time I focus my energy on him I get a peaceful feeling and I know that everything is ok, that everything is as it should be.



Thanks for your reply, that was a nice post

Gypsk I hope you don't mind me resurrecting this thread but you should know it has helped me. Out of your grief and some of the OP's comments some understanding and good has come.

I have recently lost a much loved pet and friend, insomnia led me to do a search on grief and up popped your thread. Whilst I am still in the very initial stages of grief this thread put it into perspective and I know in time it will get better.

Thank you.

reply to post by slidingdoor


I don't mind at all

After the recent events I haven't felt like writing more about the topic, although thinking it through in the way described in the above posts has helped me a lot.
I'm glad it did the same for you

I'm sorry for your loss
If you want to talk about it some more, feel free to reply here or u2u me.