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The poetic thread - Time to show everyone what we got!

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posted on Feb, 8 2010 @ 02:27 PM
[I apologize if a thread like this has been made before, but I wanted to make a new thread with a bit of a twist to it. Using this thread we can all share whatever sort of writings we wish and get some opinions from fellow members. So, let's see what you all have!]

I'll start it off...

I've been writing since as long as I can remember. It all really started when I was in middle school. I was always more advanced than the other students for the most part, so I'd learn whatever concept was being taught in class within the first few minutes, and I'd spend the rest of the time writing. This had given me much time to write and vent. In fact I have so many writings I can usually go back, for example 2/8 of another year and find something I wrote the same day as today but years ago (which is something I love doing because it's awesome too see what I was going through/feeling at that time in my life).

So I made this thread so I can share some of these writings/poems I have made. I have a plethora of them, a large amount of ones I've written for woman over the years as well (they always love them). So to keep my writings alive I'd like to share some with you all. I will start this thread with some of my favorites, and will add some more over time.

Please, feel free to add your own, I think this could be a very neat thread if we all share, don't be discouraged or intimidated by anyone else's writing, we all have our own style, and there is no such thing as a bad poem/writing; always remember that!

Mental Note 3/7/2005

I write myself a mental note,
Put it aside I'll read it later.
Procrastinate 'till I hate myself even more.
Open and shut case.
It was the mace that scarred my eyes,
From believing and seeing the truth.
I am one of the mislead youth.
I became this way myself,
Learned off of others misplaced hate,
Woke up each morning saying
"Well isn't this great."
I found myself mentally locked in a closet.
That morning I didn't drop off my deposit.
The departure of adolescence happened young,
It all hit me like a shot from a gun.
No one understands how my mindset works.
Illusions set my path array.
Never have listened to what they had to say.
Troublesome world for our degenerates,
Set a path and guide others through it,
Don't be fooled lead yourself.

This one is newer, I just made it for a woman I'm seeing, I think it's pretty good, and I know she liked it a lot.


You know we just may have meant,
But you seem to me that you're heaven sent.
When I look into your eyes I can't help but to stare,
It's inevitable that my gaze will always end up there.

When our lips touch it is pure bliss,
In fact I want a never ending kiss.
Now this is just the start you see,
And you have just seen the beginning of me.

When I’m with you I feel like I’m everything I can be,
It’s like my eyes have just opened and I’m first starting to see.
And as I look towards you, I see this beautiful face.
I never thought that this would be the case.

For once things are starting to look good.
I hope that they stay that way because they should.
We both deserve happiness in every aspect of our lives,
I mean just last night I had the time of my life.

I’ll always be there when you’re down,
I’d even dress up for you like a clown.
And I never want to see you with a frown,
If I do I’ll just flip you around.

With me by your side everything will come together gently,
It’s almost as if we came to one another indecently.
But no matter how it happened, I’m just glad it’s real,
And it turns out the devil didn’t have to make me a deal.

Everything is starting to fall into place,
Just like the stars up in outer space.
We don't know too much, but we take our guesses.
Learning from mistakes, and cleaning up our messes.

I can't help but to feel the happiness surrounding me,
Because I know that I'm starting to be what I need to be.
I'm growing up and I got to be responsible,
So come with me while I reach for the impossible.

It's all in my grip,
I'm holding the world in my hands,
My life now has got a whole lot of plans.
I know this is right, it all fits into place.
All I have to do now is keep up with this pace.

I welcome new beginnings, as old ones come to an end.
You can't measure your life without some sadness,
Let's not pretend.

No one can hold me back, for I know what's right.
And I'll follow my dreams, right into the spotlight.

I want you there with me, sharing it all,
Well go at your speed, it's all your call.
If you haven’t noticed I have already started to fall,
And as you can see I'm here for the long haul.

Not a single thing will tear us apart,
Here since the beginning, 'til the end, from the start.

I have bipolar so I have a lot of depressing poems/writings - although nowadays I'm much happier than ever and doing way better mentally than ever, but I still like to share past writings that show my past (regardless of what that past may be).


Depressive exaggeration blending in with time,
Things completely messed up wish they were fine.
Theoretical mind blocks,
Can't get passed those.
Feeling the pressure and stress straight down to my toes.
Don't want to wake up,
Don't want to deal.
Hate people telling me just how to feel.
Confusion state elated more than usual,
Decisions hard to make,
Lost advantages which were there to take.
Why do I feel so fake?

Feel free to share opinions and/or constructive criticism on any of my writings, or anyone else's, but please keep any criticisms in a friendly manner. No one likes to hear that their writing is terrible, and like I said no one has a bad poem or writing. We just all have different styles and perspectives so let's be kind and just share what we have.

Hope you all enjoyed the beginning of what I believe may be the beginning of a great thread! I also hope to see what everyone else has to share, I look forward to reading others posts!


posted on Jun, 29 2010 @ 03:27 AM
I think they're very good. I like how the expressions of emotions comes across.. and one can definitely see progression from your last poem up to the first.

Here's mine.

Eternal Slumber

For it's always the same scene that invades my eternal slumber, you stand amongst the graves of poisoned memories, buried & laid to waste by the demons of our past. You beckon me out of this numb state to join your side and re-visit the memories we held true to precious porcelain hearts. Once again I'm left helpless in thy presence and under your spell, I join the side of the one I adore.

You intoxicate my veins with sweet poison, while your sinister hands enslave my heart. Still I am fully aware it will take me aeons to know you as I truly should. A mystery you are, an ancient book, filled with secrets and wisdom available to those who passes the tests of a true soul. Broken we are, fallen spirits, rediscovering our sacred paths but knowing, that through the destruction of a heart, a new spring blooms, anxiously awaiting that moment with the joy of innocent children.

We stand on the edge of the world, admiring the burning sky blazing upon us, each studying their own thoughts, while a moonlit sky keeps close watch behind us. Two souls with seperate destinies, yet etched togheter in this crimson painted canvas. Whispers of love and hate dance along the wind, while forbidden souls steal beloved kisses. And yet, it feels like years passing by, while in truth, I'm merely stuck in a moment with you.

I scream silently, never knowing when this moment will end, if I could, I would capture us in stone, chaining these memories unto infinity. I study the face of this glowing angel, broken dreams heal forever in those eyes, serenading lullabies flows from those lips, while the mere presence of you makes one want to embrace destiny and dance into immortalities palm.
But with the flick of a switch, the scene blackens...

This enchanting tale gets reversed, and I find myself back in this imprisoned tomb, left to the eternal sleep I am enslaved in, brought upon me by the one who holds my heart's keys.

posted on Jun, 29 2010 @ 09:17 PM
reply to post by highlyoriginal

Great stuff OP - I wrote a long opus of a poem that reads quite fast, and is so conspiracy minded that it probably stands no chance elsewhere. It's titled "The Green Eye".
Here goes:

The Green Eye (Break Down the Walls).
– Halfoldman (A Poem for all Humanity to Re-Evaluate its Actions and Assumptions.)

We think of the eye
And we perceive and wonder why.
Am I an eye?
Are you simply light on my retina?
Is my outlook and shade
Acceptable to your patina?
They say there’s a powerful inner light
That often tells us inside us what’s wrong and what’s right.

There’s a Green Eye that covers our light
Throughout history it blinded our sight.
Through royalty and popes we fought for its might
And through this darkness we became our own blight.

This is not a poem about meter or rhyme,
It’s a statement about the Green Eye in our time.
Just as light is deflected through a prism
Various jailbirds may enjoy their prison.
Surely however the hangman will come
In time snug walls are rendered undone.

The Green Eye Is The Name, Please Let Me Explain:
The Green Eye is watching you.
You don’t notice it
While it hypnotizes you.
First you build your own special prison.
You simplify your world-view into bricks.
In other parts of humanity people are smashed with those bricks.
But with you, these bricks are safe – you tell yourself they are for building only.
Around you there are mostly shacks and men living in #.
You must build your wall.
The more bricks fly your way,
The more secure your walls must be.

The Green Eye makes you feel inferior.
Your bricks of unworthiness become bricks of righteousness.
Self-righteousness from Wall to wall to wall to wall.
You now become the policeman for the Eye.
You bond with it, thinking it might come to your rescue.
You forget: the Eye demands loyalty,
Meanwhile You and Your Walls mean nothing to it.
You cannot invoke its sympathy, because the Eye is not human.
One day your walls might fall and the Eye will not care.
It swallows Men and Walls with one Icy Stare.

A Deluded Policeman For The Eye:
Thinks he is special,
Forgetting how the Eye has fed on the suffering of All Peoples.
The brainwashed protector of the Eye becomes the gatekeeper of its Hate.
He sneers at the opinions of others,
He embraces the destruction of those who superficially appear less like him,
He laughs at the shortcomings and eccentricities of others, even while they laugh at him,
Therefore, by defending his prison he builds the emotional cellblocks for others.
Even slight differences in the human experiences become conflicts that the Eye likes to see.

The Eye deludes through false collusion so that the victim is rendered blind to some of the glaring contradictions:
Men who constantly promise peace create endless genocide and profit from bloody war.
Men who claim to fight drugs flood our streets with cheap Afghani Heroin.
Men who claim to fight for democracy gradually take away all human civil liberties.
Men who claim to be Christians are melting our common environment into hell.

What Can One Do To Fight the Green Eye?
Fight fire with fire and terror with terror?
The opposite of violence is non-violence.
Men who fight violence with violence are not “opposites” to their enemies, but “oppo-sames”.
Bush and Bin Laden are “oppo-sames” because they are both illusions from the same Eye.
They both inflame hatred because they believe that innocent people can be made to suffer for their governments.
“Oppo-sames” focus from the blackened pupil of the same Green Eye.
Once again we silly sheep fall for the Lie in the Green Eye.

The opposite to hate
Is love.
The opposite to judgment
Is trust and unconditional acceptance.
Stigmas and labels change over time,
This proves that they are not real.

Without them you are me and I am you.
I see God’s light in you
And you see it in me.
Light of mind dissipates Evil energy.

It is hard, but I refuse to be a policeman for the Eye.
By what standards do I judge?
Are they really my own standards?
No easy answers for me to let me be me.
Break Down the Walls.
If you are weary enough to love peace like me,
Break Down the Walls.
If you can dream beyond this hopeless misery,
Break Down the Walls.
If you bleed red like me,
Break Down these Walls.
If you breathe polluted air like me,
Brothers, Break Down these Walls.
If you hurt inside like me,
Sisters, Break Down these Walls.
If you want to die guilt-free,
Break Down the Walls.

Be it the stick of need,
Or the carrot of greed,
The Green Eye panders to our need.
It was seducing mankind’s destiny,
From glass beads to technology.
From Eden that was pure and still,
It gave us Kings for whom to kill.

Sister and Brother,
While we were fighting each other,
Distracted by weapons of doom,
They turned our Earth into a Moon.
The Green Eye always wins,
And makes us victims of our sins.

And soon above our rotting graves,
Will toil our first-begotten slaves…

19 October 2006
Submitted here June, 30, 2010.

[edit on 29-6-2010 by halfoldman]

posted on Oct, 16 2010 @ 04:05 PM
Here's mine:

I'm a spark of life,
Housed in flesh and blood and bone.
I'm boundless and eternal.
In that I'm not alone,
I'm a cell in this Spirit,
A wave in this ocean,
I'm gravitational force
and cyntrivical motion.

We are infinite,
We are one,
From the smallest possible particle,
To massive masses like the sun,
From Solids to Gases,
To Bases to Acids,
From Stoics to heroics,
To prudence to asses,

Dark to light
Day to night
Fight or Flight
Wrong or Right.

It's all the same in this cosmic game,
Everyone takes it so serious,
It's really a shame,
How we point the fingers,
And place the blame
Create all these labels,
When we share the same name!

I am you,
You are me,
Together we,
Are called infinity.

posted on Oct, 16 2010 @ 04:05 PM
Here's mine:

I'm a spark of life,
Housed in flesh and blood and bone.
I'm boundless and eternal.
In that I'm not alone,
I'm a cell in this Spirit,
A wave in this ocean,
I'm gravitational force
and cyntrivical motion.

We are infinite,
We are one,
From the smallest possible particle,
To massive masses like the sun,
From Solids to Gases,
To Bases to Acids,
From Stoics to heroics,
To prudence to asses,

Dark to light
Day to night
Fight or Flight
Wrong or Right.

It's all the same in this cosmic game,
Everyone takes it so serious,
It's really a shame,
How we point the fingers,
And place the blame
Create all these labels,
When we share the same name!

I am you,
You are me,
Together we,
Are called infinity.

posted on Oct, 19 2010 @ 01:25 PM
A poem from 2008. I believe I had writer's block.

Pen and paper meet
But soul stays trapped,
Unable to express emotion,
So I stay writing sucky poems
Like this one that won't
Turn into something more.
I desperately want to write it
And though I've learned to fight it,
This poem still reeks.
So I sit down again and
Press pen to this damn paper,
But nothing comes out.

posted on Oct, 19 2010 @ 05:03 PM
Great poems on here. Here are a couple of mine.

Dreams In a Fade

I've been drifting through dreams of yesterday
Of people I've loved, who've gone away
There's no need regrets, every sunset fades
Time washes it all away.

All we do vanishes into myth and becomes a dream
All our lives fade like the sun sinking into the sea
All we are sinks into the Earth to feed what is to be
With nothing left, nothing left but our memories.

Nations come and nations go, like waves of a raging sea
Leaders rise and leaders fall, like autumn leaves
What monuments are now the dust beneath our feet?
It fades away, nothing but tomorrows made up of what used to be.

Time slips through my fingers like dust in wind
Time moves on, where does it end?
The child is young and then he's old, my friend
For every beginning there is an end.

We can't hold back the hands of time
There's no sense crying about times gone by
A man is born and then he dies
It may seem sad but it's a part of life.

All our lives are like drops of water in a moonlit sea
There’s no sense crying about what used to be
Yesterday’s gone, tomorrow’s just a dream
Live for today, live your life free.

.. ..


You had the weight of the world on your shoulders;....
But the burden wasn't yours to carry.
Now, your back is broken under a mountain of sorrow.
So, close your eyes in mortal slumber.
All your pain means nothing now.
Your fading eyes are set on distant shores;
Giving you visions of darkened vistas-never to be explored.
Forever has lost its promise.
Now and never are the same.
The numbing sleep of oblivion washes everything away.

posted on Dec, 18 2010 @ 10:03 PM
Turn the cruise control on, we ain't stopping for an eon.
Straight to our destination, no interuptions.
Beats and measures drowning our words.
Wouldn't matter since they're all slurred.
Soon we'll dream through the windows.

Stretch the legs and pop our back, emphasize every muscle and crack.
Eyes drying and minds too tired of trying,
No stopping on this trip, better have a pick-me-up.
Pour more fun into the trophy cup.
Reality will now foreclose.

With the wheel idle, now for the lull.
When things are going good, how they should,
Forces will start to sway,
Too many factors to weigh,
Resting peacefully in our doze.

posted on Jan, 13 2011 @ 08:36 PM
This is something I wrote a long time ago when I was severily depressed. I'm happy now this was years ago but it was intresting to me. It's more free verse.

Kill the one who lies of gold
Never trust the one he told
The dead are drifting
Life stopping giving
To all those who follow him

The illusion of the Devil's grave
Turns warm hearts cold as clay
To the gutters,
slabs of flesh fill

So I called him on 666
And asked him where he sits
He answered with a surreal whisper
"Boy, I live where your gonna go."

Here's another...
Lone Hermit,
Searchign for his role
Knows not what to look for,
Nor if there's anythnig to show

But he knows,
beyond the horizon
Lies a sun shinning gold
To there he shall go

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