Manners and Decorum... What ever happened to these principles in the REAL World?!?!?!?

Originally posted by Dock9
reply to post by zoso28

 

Whilst I applaud the OP and agree with virtually all the posts

YOURS is it in a nutshell

In fact, I didn't know anyone else saw it as you've described (my family is sick of hearing me say exactly the same thing). And few would even grasp the meaning, because they are, as you say .. and as I must stop saying ... too busy starring in their own movie. Produced by them, starring them, scripted by them, filmed by them )


As for decorum, most would ask, 'What's that mean ? '

And seeing I'm indulging in a little rant, I'll add the 'rauccous laughter' trend, because it's gone past driving me nuts and these days makes me simply weary

We have a prime example living next door. She's an intelligent young woman. Her son is a year or so old and her husband trying his best. So where did she learn to laugh like a drunken sailor ? And why does she do it ?

Then while in the city centre one day, I saw two other young women do the same thing. Repeatedly. Since then, I've seen/heard other young women do it. It's like a return to the days of Bawdy Moll ... indescribably horrible, uncouth, inconsiderate and coarse

Basically, the rauccous laughter 'act' consists of forcing a very loud, very false laugh ... with the mouth wide open. The strain of doing this results in a sound you'd expect to hear once in a blue moon from a truck driver

Except this trend insists on being heard every few minutes

It stops traffic ! You hear it and are astonished. I've never heard such noises emerging from females ever before

Obviously, the women who practice this form of attention-grabbing believe their hideous noises constitute a 'sexy' or 'dirty' laugh. In truth though, it sounds more like a barking bull seal

The woman next door is aged in her 20s I suppose. Any time her friends come to visit, she shatters the air with her 'star' act, the barking-seal laugh. She dominates the area. She steals attention. She won't stop doing it

But, having developed this star-turn, how is she going to turn it off ? If she makes that noise when her son is of school age, that boy will be ridiculed and mocked relentlessly

And while her coarse barking sounds might be considered 'wild' or even 'funny' now --- she's going to alienate the world if she doesn't learn to stop doing it by the time she's 50

But obviously she believes she'll never age past 30. And now she's teaching ... yes, teaching ... her baby son to make the same hideous noise

Decorum ? What's that ?

Brilliant! You hit the nail head on! And being serious and funny the same time.

I share your sentiment. Like what a lot of people already said, I think you can trace this behavior back to one source, name it as you like, TV, movies - a.k.a. Hollywood (and from productions of the film industry in the Western World).

It's wrongly copied behavior, as what is presented as being the desirable and accepted verbal- and body language, ways and manners of people, as being perceived as what is good and acceptable on the big box. As people are, we are copycats. Without good role models (mature and balanced parents), we copy the next best thing, what we are forced-fed daily in our lives, which is on TV. (Now ask yourself, who's agenda is the film industry?)

Everything is centered on 'self' and self's achievements on maintaining happiness for 'self'.

A golden rule for myself is to treat others with respect, in a way which you would be treated yourself. A person with good manners can, even with a lack of other talents, bring it very far in life...

reply to post by unityemissions

Why does the foundation of morality have to be religion? What about philosophy?

It doesn't have to, basically our moral standards were influenced by European philosophical thought and the enlightenment influenced the church.

Originally posted by djr33222
American life isn't based upon anything substantial like other cultures who can fall back on tradition.

In light of that, please explain France and the French?

reply to post by Blaine91555


Um, no. Maybe if you tell me directly what you disagreed with in my post in some general way I will respond with an example.

Edit to note, I actually had England in mind about falling back on tradition. Several other previous posters, natives, gave examples.

[edit on 3-2-2010 by djr33222]

This is what happens when ones attention/awareness-radius does not go out beyond ones own head.

__________________________


Nice OP

[edit on 3-2-2010 by Skyfloating]

Originally posted by Blaine91555
In light of that, please explain France and the French?

Please explain this comment.

reply to post by JaxonRoberts


Thanks for bringing this up. This has been bugging me for quite some time now. I live in quiet little Green Bay, WI, and there was a day that I remember (I'm 34 btw) when people would do nice things for each other. Now I try to do my part. I hold doors open for people, I say please, thank you, etc. I do my best to treat other people with respect, because I've always been taught to treat others as you'd like to be treated.

Now all the time, I'll hold the door for somebody, and that person will stick their nose up in the air and just walk right on through. I'll say "excuse me" if I have to walk between two people, or in front of somebody. How many people return the favor? I'd say 50% at best. And you can bet that those who are rude, are the first to piss and moan if you don't help them out.

The world would be a much better place if people would be even a little more polite to others, so let's start doing it, and lose the arrogance.

reply to post by JaxonRoberts


The other day i was walking through a shopping mall, alongside me was my father in his motorised wheelchair. People didn't move aside when they saw him coming and several people walked across his path making him stop suddenly. Thing is the chair doesn't stop instantly and he nearly hit their ankles a number of times. It was amazing to see how people have absolutely no regard for anyone else. The wheelchair isn't like a go cart, it can't skip around people it's a big heavy object.

I guess people just don't care.

reply to post by JaxonRoberts

Mickey D's

If you're looking for classy patrons, may I suggest that "Mickey D's" is perhaps not the best place to go?


reply to post by wylekat

I got a taste of this yesterday at a dollar store.

...once again...if you're looking for classy patrons...

reply to post by LordBucket


Once again, well done my friend

Well done indeed

reply to post by JaxonRoberts


Hi JaxonRoberts

I totally agree with your comments regarding the lack of manners and decorum in the western world today. But having read your signature, I find you to be lacking in manners, decorum and style.

How dare you make such racist and bigoted comments regarding the Muslim faith. Have you any knowlegde of this faith, you obviously don't. If you did you may realise that the majority of Muslims are upstanding individuals with a far more superior understanding of right from wrong than most westerners. Their beliefs may be somewhat differen't from ours, but this does not give you the right to crucify them by putting all Muslims in the fundermentalist group. Gee, how would we go if we put all Americans in the extremist Christian fundermentalist category, like Tomorthy McVay or the Uni-Bomber.

As a white Christian female, I have travelled extensively across The Middle East and have only been treated with kindness and respect. Their welcoming approach was refreshing to say the least. At no stage did I ever feel threatend by anybody regardless of the time of day or night. I was not accosted by any drunks, drug addicts or sexual deviates wishing to bash,rob or rape me. Funny, all I experienced was kindness, goods manners and decurom.

It is people like yourself that are helping to make this world as a hole a very unpleasant place to be.

reply to post by tri-lobe-1


OK, settle down Beavis... First of all, it says Islamic Fundamentalist. In other words, Extremist. This is not to be confused with the average peace loving Muslim...

Second, it's off topic...

Third, this is ATS, and that's what we do... We talk about contaversial things like religion and politics, things that are not proper to discuss in the real world...

Now since I've had people of your faith laugh in my face when I have told them of my beliefs (and one who spit in it), pardon me if I don't get too upset by your words... They come off VERY hollow to me...

Meanwhile, back on topic...

Precisely the reason why they have started a civility project at John Hopkins University by Dr. P. M. Forni.
krieger.jhu.edu...

Personally I belive that today's culture has simply stopped caring. There was a time when you couldn't leave your house dressed in anything but a suit. The basic fact of increased stupidity, rudeness, and immorality caused me to be quite discontent with my peers during highschool(this is only two years ago). You should have seen my reaction when a girl in english class asked my teacher " What is west?".

A few years ago I worked as a 3rd shift vendor/delivery driver in Southeast Wisconsin, making deliveries to gas stations, grocery and restaurants. Didnt take long to notice a strange mannerism displayed by the vast majority of people. That being the "speed up slow down" people. These are the people who see you approaching the doorway with your arms full or pushing a dolly or cabinet and they would either a)speed up b)slow down. Why? to avoid having to assist me or hold the door open for literally 3 seconds. Dont get me wrong, I do not expect to be assisted (but its how I was raised). It was just the predictability and watching them as soon as they saw me coming shoot off like a greyhound, rather disgusting. Ive discussed this with other vendors and they get the exact same thing. In that year and a half there were at most 5 people who even bothered to help. I let them know exactly how rare they were and thanked them. They understood and just smiled...they were all boomer generation.

I think a lot of rudeness stems from the workaholics in corporate America who know nothing else aside from over careerism, and expect the same of their employees. People seem squeezed and are clamoring to get any and all time possible BACK. The blue tooth crowd does have some genuine people who literally live their jobs. Ive seen it and experienced it. A cell in both hands, sleeping with your cell in case something happens 24 hour constant contact. never again!

Originally posted by Mekanic
reply to post by JaxonRoberts

 

Now all the time, I'll hold the door for somebody, and that person will stick their nose up in the air and just walk right on through. I'll say "excuse me" if I have to walk between two people, or in front of somebody. How many people return the favor? I'd say 50% at best. And you can bet that those who are rude, are the first to piss and moan if you don't help them out.

Oh my goodness, that is how it is for me.

I shop for myself, my kids, and my disabled kin. So I have to brave society and its massive grocery stores etc often (too often).

I always say thank you. Please. These tend to be returned.

It is when I pass in front of someone (usually on a cell phone, or selfishly hogging the ever growing smaller lane in a crooked basket manner) and say Excuse Me as I pass, that I am a good 85 percent of the time:

Ignored.

Or glared at, or looked at as if I am bothering them.

It does not make a difference in how I will continue to behave.

How does that saying go?

Be the change you seek in this world?

reply to post by hotbakedtater


One thing I have definitely noticed, is that the larger the population, the worse the manners. It's pretty bad here in Green Bay, at roughly 100k (not including suburbs). But when I go to smaller towns in the area, it gets better. If I go to say, Milwaukee or Madison, it gets alot worse. Another thing is that it seems that the younger people are worse than the older people. I'm 34, and I work with a few guys in the lower 20's, and they are extremely rude, no manners at all. A story to go with that is one day our HR rep was in the breakroom, and one guy passed gas, not only loudly, but it smelled of a dead rat under the kitchen sink on a hot summer day. He and the others burst out laughing hysterically, while our HR rep was still in there. Now our HR rep is an older lady in her upper 50's, and I was certainly impressed with her ability to keep a tight lip about it.