I had an uncomfortable moment today. In my job it is important for the people that I try to help to know that I do not sit in judgment of them. Of course I make observations and sometimes it is difficult to discuss an observation without it sounding like criticism. There are times in our conversation that I may make a critical statement but I try to always make it constructive. Needless to say I am not always successful and the more sensitive the person is about the observation the more likely my observations will appear as criticism and judgment calls. My post really doesn’t have a lot to do with my encounter outside of the fact that it put me in a particular frame of mind. It made me tired. It made me question why and how we got to this place where almost everyone is unhappy with almost everything in their lives.

I think our dilemma is the result of having too much. Too much junk and too much time. Our passion to horde junk and the uninspirational use of our time has made us malcontents. We are unsatisfied with our junk, we are never happy with the amount or quality of our time and we are obsessed with more. Half the time we can't even identify what the more is we just feel as if we don't have enough.

Life was simpler when people attempted to live within their means and placed their hopes of advancement on the backs of the next generation. They did the best they could and were content and proud of what they had accomplished because it was better than what their parent's had and they worked to make a better life possible for their children.

Now we fear aging and spend a fortune trying to hide the tale-tale signs that come with the process. A nip here. A tuck there. A little suction and a little injection. Who does it hurt?

We are unhappy with what we see in the mirror because some advertising agency told us what we should look like and we believe them though less than 1% of the population even comes close to looking like the people they project into our psyche.

I ask my clients to think about all the people in their lives that they love the most; the people that they would never want to live without. Then I ask them how many of them do they think would ever be placed on a magazine cover or a billboard. Even though they can understand that commercial beauty is not a requirement for love they still chase that roadrunner buying up everything that ACME sells in the process.

Contentment is harder to come by. Keeping up with the Joneses is an old battle but at least you knew who the Joneses were and had half a chance of getting in the game. Now people don’t even know the name of their neighbor and is trying to keep up with an imaginary lifestyle on HGTV and are no happier in the end.

What have we taught our children? What is going to be our legacy? My nine year old nephew asked me today after overhearing a news report on the radio, “Where is Oklahoma?” Of course this is the same child that at nine can play the expert level of Guitar Hero and can play almost anything else on Wii or the Xbox. Yet the land in which we live is a foreign country to him. It is sad that the level of education that our children receive is so poor, especially considering how much it costs. I don’t blame him. To be honest I don’t know who to blame and I guess that is part of why I feel tired. I don’t know what the answer is nor do I even know where to start or if there is a resolution to the ennui that seems to have crept in and taken up residence in so many lives. I keep thinking that we could have done better. That we can do better. I just don’t know where to start.

Maybe I am being too hard on my generation. Maybe we have given our children a chance to do better than us because they are going to have to live with a little less. Maybe they will learn the true value of family, friendship and community. Maybe they will learn that the things that money can buy are perishable and the true things of value have no expiration date. Maybe they will learn that happiness is not something that you have to chase; it is something inside you waiting to be let out. Maybe they will learn what we forgot.

I blame our education system. I'm all for capitalism and laissez-fair. But people are taught as opposed to saving money that they're judged by what they own, and, who they know. Our system has become quite perverted, and, I think a lot of it has to do in early education when people are learning about life.

I agree with you 100%!!! I have quite a few friends who are always unhappy and on many different meds and I just dont understand why they feel they way they do. They have a job, a home, a family and friends and yet they are all miserable. They all do very well and they are never happy.
I am always content with what I have and I dont understand how these people value possessions over family or friends. I guess it was the way I was raised. I am not into video games or tv really, I read and self educate myself. My brother for example is a product of the video game era. He doesnt do anything but play those things and he doest do anything else. He should play games for a living yet he has no idea what is going on outside of his Playstation.


[edit on 1/29/2010 by mblahnikluver]

YEP! I agree totally..

When I was a kid growing up, Our whole family knew who our neighbours were and we all played together and got into trouble together. If I did something wrong at my Neightbours house, I would get the same punishement from their Parents as I would get at home. If it warranted aSmack on the Bum, My neighbours would Smack me on the bum without worrying about getting Sued or the Cops being called on them. Nowadays, you touch someone and you're GONE..

Life was so much easier then. We didn't have Gameboys, Playstations or the like. I do remember, however, when the Atari came out. Getting Colour TV was a big thing back then too.

We used to Live and Play outside, in the fresh Air. We'd go exploring the Abandoned Fort (house) down the road. We'd have our dog with us trying to prove it was as intelligent as Lassie. We didn't care if Next Doors Car was better than ours. A car was a car.. Although, none of us liked Jap Cars. I don't even think our Car had A/C. We did have the "Optional" Heater in our car but no Radio. The heater was more important.. lol

We were allowed to have BB Guns, Crossbows and Fireworks. You know what? None of us got killed. Even as kids we were responsible to have those things. Give a kid a BB Gun today and the first thing they're likely to do is shoot their Neighbour. Give 'em some Fireworks and there goes Next Doors Letterbox.

Time moved a lot slower then too. Don't ask me why, it just did. Weekends lasted an eternity. Monday was a drag. Couldn't wait for the weekend.

Times have changed so much. No one knows their neighbour anymore. We all want to sue each other to get a quick buck.
If someone dies in their house it takes 2 or more weeks to notice they're not around anymore.
We drive as though we are at war with car in front. Stick our middle finger up at someone for overtaking us on the highway..

Yep! Times have changed and how I wish I was a kid again in 1972.

With the advent of industry and technology we have been able to live with much less effort and hardship than previously. The winter cannot easily breach our snug houses, we don't normally have to worry about obtaining our own food, and there are no predators, no significant threats of disease, no struggles. However these forces shaped our ancestors, and helped to refine them and give them a better understanding of nature and reality. In the struggle to survive in the elements, the hunt, they were able to see themselves within a greater structure. There is no 'evil' in the frost, the hunger, or death like most people think today. One should seek to utilise these to battle outside and inside themselves in order to find meaning in existence and grow. Much of what industrialism and technology have done is take us away from these forces. Within our simplistic but often dull lives, people place labels like 'good' on everything that brings pleasure and 'evil' on all that is pain, and seek to affirm the former while denying and destroying the latter.The ease of life that we draw up for ourselves with technology and industry only cultivates a confused and unrealistic worldview.

What meaning and fulfilment we can find in life has been here for ages past. If one reads the ancient Vedic texts, the Eddas of Northern Europe or the Qur'an, there is a definite sense of meaning that exists beyond passing fancies and trends. People did not believe that life would offer more fulfillment in the future than in the past, simply by virtue of the flow of time. They could always find direction and meaning by looking to the system they existed in.

I think its a bit of a chicken/egg problem. We lack in people relationships, we try to fill the void with things. Then we are so wound up in the things there is no room to build relationships.
What came first? too much stuff or too little relationships?

There are too many blind idiots in the "real world" so I just stay on here and stuff.

Yeah, I'm really death metal.

What a great post and set of answers so far.

I have to say for me I feel I have lost the struggle for life and its been replaced with the struggle to make ends meet.

I am not a materalistic person but my family needs a roof and heat which nowadays I can't go out and build myself or chop wood ect to make it warm. I do like to have nice things but really for me there not and never will be the be all and end all of my exsistance as my father told me "theres no pockets in a shroud"

All the stuff we have is meant to make life easier but it was corrupted into getting more and more from people for less and less, this I think transfered to people wanting more and more themselves.

I was about during the birth of the work computer and it was touted as the best labour saving device for the work place until someone relised that they could get 10 times the amount of work out of a person with it and still pay them the same wage.


If we actually used thechnology in our lifes to make it easier not produce more or get more work out of people I think we could be happer than we are.

In saying that I think we as a world have moved on quicker technologicaly than we have with say with social reform, or spritual growth.

Personally I would love to go back to living in a cave for a while each year living off of my wits and ingenuity but thats not gonna happen because my bills need paid for, landowners would never agree to it, I need to pay taxes ect and this greedy world will always want more and more from me for less and less in return.

An excellent post. I share your exaspiration. I feel caged within myself, wanting to become what I saw in my father but somehow not knowing how to get there. I don't know where you are from but I feel that in America we have allowed ourselves to be dumbed down to the point of complete apathy except for that base desire of wanting more stuff and never being satisfied.
The older I get the more that I wish that I had never seen a TV, computer, or cell phone. If I spent the time reading or producing that I spend with these modern distractions I would be ten times the man I am today. Yes, I know all of the above has helped society in many ways, but too often they control us instead of the other way around. I hold out very little hope for the next generation of latch key, dependent, instant everything kids. What will they do in real hardship and times of difficult personal decisions?
I find it all very depressing.
Seeashrink

Yo man im like so in clue with you. This one time something bad happens, then im like talking about it for a paragraph, then im like a rocket ship and veer off in every other direction, leaving everyone that was reading thinking whats going on!?

Honestly your story confuses me, your talking about how you owned or made some guys life hell by talking to them, and suddenly your on about how this and that does have pretty colors or some junk. Honestly you confused me, I read it all but your post was like, 5 posts in one and you gave absolutely no information about this huge burn or whatever that caused some one elses life to be in chaos, but since your such a sensitive guy it got you too, like some big huge fireball that engulfed you both.