Mental Illness

reply to post by double_frick


how are you now?

reply to post by richierich


hey, man thats a sad story, im sorry that it has had such a sever impact on your family like that.

some doctors a just a waste of space too not offering helpful advice.

I was diagnosed clinically depressed in my teen years. I can't really remember what triggered it but I had it for about a year, Went through counselling afew times. Got some meds for it and eventually it just sorta passed. Strange.

I remember one time when I went to visit a friend in a mental ward there was some guy shouting that he owned the universe and would suck 50,000 of us "mofos" into his black hole.

reply to post by Ghost in the Machine


hahaha yeah, the 3 times ive been in the psych hospital there always been someone there thats done stuff like that that made me laugh.
each time ive been to hospital it always has a jack-nicholson-in-one-flew-over-the-cuckoos-nest kinda feel too it.
not necessarily a bad experience but shows you how things could be a lot worse.

I enjoyed reading this thread. I am sorry to hear, that some family members have not been able to help more, when you needed them the most. Some people just dont know how to deal with things sometimes, and it is easier for them to ignore it. I for one have, some family like that.

Wish you ALL all the best,

Agoraphobia here. It's been about 4 years since I have left my house.

reply to post by krater


OMG! you have not left the house in like four years! how do you do that! I know am going to google your diagnosis and read up on it to learn all about it!

Originally posted by EyeOnYou
reply to post by double_frick

 

how are you now?

thank you for asking. heh
other than feeling like a slave to some of my more negative emotions on bad days, which seems to be about every other day right now. in other words, i still suffer from the same 'illness' i was diagnosed with at 16, i just try to handle it without the help of doctors because they don't help.
i guess i'm doing as well as anyone making a conscious effort to improve themselves, crazy or not. its tough, it like 2 steps forward--3 steps back--but eventually progress shows through it all. still tough to go through the crap though.

most mental illness is just a variation of 'normal' with a label smacked on it with an unfortunate stigma. why do we have to label everything and stuff them full of this or that. can't we just accept people?

and yes, shamanism. i do remember hearing that people who began exhibiting symptoms of 'mental illness' were taken to the shaman because they were seen as given the 'gift' or seeing between worlds...something to that nature. i get that.

reply to post by double_frick


im glad to hear you are making some progress.

dont let your "label" allow itself to become you if you know what i mean.

of course i myself am still having bad days, where my mood is having extreme fluctuations and i get really manic but i now communicate just as i feel it coming on so people are aware and alert and ready to step in should i do anything too drastic or extreme.

reply to post by krater


man that must be tough to handle, i hope you at some point manage to overcome your phobia.

Originally posted by PinkDiamond
I enjoyed reading this thread. I am sorry to hear, that some family members have not been able to help more, when you needed them the most. Some people just dont know how to deal with things sometimes, and it is easier for them to ignore it. I for one have, some family like that.

Wish you ALL all the best,

hi PinkDiamond!

im glad you have enjoyed reading this thread.

it was my intention when i started this thread to not only share my own experience but for other people to come and post theirs too and also give the opportunity for people who havent experienced it to get an insight into mental health from the other side so to speak and also to hear or read rather the opinions of others who are against medications.

reply to post by PinkDiamond


reply to post by EyeOnYou


Yeah, it is difficult. However, lucky for me I have a great support system with my parents and brother. Life is always a struggle but I try to take things one day at a time. Before it closed, I used to go to and receive support from a free mental health clinic.

it's good to see a thread like this so that we can share our experiences. as for my experiences;
when i was young i had to deal with my mom being in and out of institutions as she was manic bipolar.
a few years ago i dated a man with schizophrenia, needless to say that didn't work out. i just couldn't deal with the lack of emotion. no anger, no sadness, no happiness. i really tried, for about 3 months i think. currently i'm a student of psychology, i'm not sure if i want to get into social psychology or criminal psychology (definitely not abnormal psychology due to the liabilities). also, my current boyfriend has PTSD. i wouldn't say suffers but he has episodes of anxiety and depression.

Thank you for your thread on this important subject.

My mother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder years ago, when they didn't really know much about treatment. She was an immigrant to the U.S., a war bride from WWII. Now that I think about it, being an immigrant may be a risk factor for physical or mental illness because of the diet changes that that puts you through.

reply to post by designerM


Designer, you might want to take a look at the books written by a guy named Eric (here is the link to his restaurant site, which includes a photo of him):

www.seedkitchen.com...

Anyway, Eric was a U.S. veteran of the Gulf War who came home with what was eventually diagnosed as Gulf War Syndrome. After getting very little help from the VA healthcare system, Eric healed himself of his signs and symptoms (including a weird black rash on the backs of his hands) by following a macrobiotic regimen (a whole foods technique that is basically vegan + fish ... in other words, similar to the traditional foods consumed around the world for the last ten thousand years). Hope this helps.

I went to the Psych Hosp for the first time for acute clinical depression. I figured out after a couple of weeks that I'd been depressed most of my life. I thought things were tough for everybody and that my job was to keep my chin up whatever happened. I was catatonic. It took me a minute to get out of my chair and go to the kitchen, and it was only 40 feet away. I had been self-medicating for years on pot and opiates and alcohol. On my first full day, my Doc asked me why I didn't go to therapy. No one told me to. I figured that nobody could tell me about me except myself. After one group therapy session it felt like someone had taken my brain out of neutral and put it in gear again! I've had trouble dealing with negative emotions all my life. They ate a hole in me. I take Paxil and Trazodone, which have always worked well for me. In two hospitalizations, I've had a hundred therapy sessions. My background is in medicine, and knowing the language helped a lot. I want to do whatever I have to do to be the best I can be every day. I still have some down times, but now I can see them coming and prepare. Educate yourself, folks. The more you can understand yourself, the better you will do. For me, it's like unpeeling an onion one layer at a time. I rebuilt myself. You gotta know what to throw away before you can throw it away. It's a process. I call it weeding my garden...how is my attitude, how am I treating others, am I guarding my serenity and calmness adequately, am I getting enough sleep and exercise, and on an on. If you keep the weeds down every day, you never have the overgrowth that requires the big machine, or re-admittance to the hospital!

reply to post by EyeOnYou


Yep. attention deficit disorder(minor ocd is part of this), depression. I went back on my ADD meds at an increased dosage and stopped eating for about 3 days. Only drank water, i lost 10 pounds by the end of the first week. Still only eat dinner. It helps though, but the side effects can suck.

But depression meds never did it for me. I only got over it when i realized that my problems aren't that bad and no matter how i feel im happy to be alive. Even if i crave death, pain, or destruction. Still have mood swings but im rarely mad in any way.

And i was born very premature and am lucky to be alive. My mind wasn't finished developing so my way of thinking confuses alot of people. If i know certain things about a person and their personality i can accurately tell them how they would react in certain situations and what they are thinking in those situations. But i cannot tell you those shoes are so adorable with that outfit and oh hes cute talk to him! no you! no you! like other females around me. Then again i don't think thats mental disorder, i guess im lucky to have some common sense in my generation.

I very much dislike it when people classify themselves as "ADD" or "ADHD" because of a small distraction or they are being "random". You do not have that disorder, you just don't want to pay attention because you don't care about getting things done proficiently. Because of that, its treated as a joke. I have to constantly remind myself how to do something i was told to do, i panic if i can't remember. What about you? Oh, a bird flew by your window and you draw on your arm in sharpie. Its totally the same thing.

* by "you" im referring to people I've worked with.

[edit on 31-3-2010 by ItsAgentScully]

[edit on 31-3-2010 by ItsAgentScully]

reply to post by ItsAgentScully


I also had a friend who is bi-polar, manic-depressive, schizophrenic and i could be missing one i can't remember. She lived with a foster family and i felt so bad for her. Generally she had no common sense, she got herself knocked up at 16 and i remember talking to her and she had an epiphany. She suddenly realized all her mistakes could have easily been avoided and how she threw her life away by not applying herself and trying to succeed in life instead of going in and out of mental hospitals for 5 years and putting her family through hell. It was a very heart-breaking moment, she acted like any normal girl her age during that conversation. The next day she got higher than a kite, picked up this chick, and continued down the same road with no real recollection of our previous conversation. Hm, i wonder what shes up to.

[edit on 31-3-2010 by ItsAgentScully]

My husband suffers from bipolar disorder, as does many of his family members. I have become an expert at it in order to save our relationship and save him.

There is stigma associated with mental illness, and it is still not fully understood by the medical community and the general population.

Most people, when they think of mental illness, think of someon rocking in a corner screaming that they are going to be eaten by pink kangaroos, but mental illness sufferers can walk and talk among us. But something just doesn't seem "right" about them.

It is a combination of genetics and environment. I believe it can be created like in ptsd. But something like bipolar or borderline is partly genetic. People can have it to varying degrees. Bad parents(who may also be suffering) or trauma can induce it to full flare.

The longer you go undiagnosed, the worse it gets and the harder it is to treat.

On average it can take 10 years to get a correct diagnosis. It can take another 5-10 just to find meds that work. You have to try different cocktails. I know of people on at least 5 different meds.

The side effects can be bad. People who suffer MI have shortened lifespans from the medications and the stress. It is hard on the body.

As for distant friends, there can be many reasons. For one, those who suffer the tougher illnesses like borderline or bipolar, are not always aware of their behavior, and it can be nasty. I am not going to hold any punches here. It takes a strong person to handle it. In my husband I call it his doppleganger. I can see in his eyes that the disease has taken over, and the beast is out. It means bad things are gonna happen.
So sometimes you do things that people can't handle it drives them away. Or they can't handle the disease itself. This can happen to anyone with any kind of disease, whether it be MI or cancer or arthritis. They can't accept it or know how to deal with it, so they just leave.


This is going to sound condenscending but please do not take it this way. But mental illness is basically having the emotions of a 3 or 4 year old. Just like you have people with mental retardation, or physical impariments, these diseases are an emotional impairments. Problem is you have someone with the emotional capabilities of a 3 yo stuck in a full grown body. Problem is that you dont' have a big sign stamped on your forehead that you have this disorder, so people dont' recongize. But many of the behavior problems, such as impulsiveness,anger, outburts, selfishness, are the signs. Many people with bp have major money issues, from impulse spending. You see something, you want it, you get it. There is a lot of despair, depression,guilt and anger, not only from trauma or maybe negligent parenting, so many turn to alcohol and drugs to hide and soothe the beast.Which in itself creates its own set of problems. Then because of the behavior disorders, you deal with a lot of guilt, shame, and regret over these actions.

People think they can be controlled, some may use it as an excuse, but most don't.

If you take a scan of the brain, the brain will even show that there is more white matter, kind of like brain damage for lack of a better description. The brain was hurt in a way, and it re wires itself. Which causes a lot of the behavior disorders, but it can also create brilliancy, which is why so many famous people in history had mental illness. Van Gogh, Jim Carrey, Abraham Lincoln, Isaac Newton,Ernest Hemingway. Like a double edged sword, it creates the good and the bad.

People who don't understand will say it is an excuse, but the brain is wired differently. I explain it like this:

if you were in the desert with a nice,long,straight and empty highway, and your sitting in a sports car, you would be tempted to drive like a racecar driver. A healthy person would stop and consider that there could be police, you could get into an accident, whose car is this anyways?
But a person with a mental illness has had their brain re-wired. They don't have those logical capabilities, and very little reasoning. They will drive like a maniac and not think twice about it. Then if something happens, they are filled with a lot of shame, and angst, and cry: why did I do that? What is wrong with me?

Not only does the person suffer, their family and friends suffer the repercussions. And the worst part is that you have also lost the capability to learn from it.

2 months later, despite the chaos they have created, they will do it again. Leaving family frustrated.

This is also why those who suffer from bipolar, and probably borderline since they are similar have a 90% divorce rate. It is very hard to have to deal with the constant legal, emotional, financial, aftermath that comes from such a chaotic mind.

But it is not made up or an excuse. The worst impulse repercussion of all is sucide. The suicide rate for bipolar and borderline is a whopping 30%. That is not a percentage of a healthy and reasonable mind. And yes, I have met plenty of widows. Oddly, most suicides don't occur during the depression stage, they occur during the manic stages. Where impulse actions are at their worst. The person has the least control when manic. And suicides have resulted in a silly fight and "to show them" the person kills themself. One person I know of had a stupid fight, their husband came downstairs and shot themselves in the head in front of them. Spouse know this is a very real problem. And have to live under the constant worry.

Especially if they don't understand the disorders.Which is why knowledge is key.


There is one book and website that I really recommend, it is called "Living Well With Depression and Bipolar disorder.

Here is the site:

mcmanweb

The book is written by a sufferer. I read letters from sufferers on the website. And the despair and anguish felt by sufferers had me in tears.



One last thing: bipolar is often underdiagnosed. It has been found that just taking the wrong anti-depressant or mood stabilizer can send someone manic. This is dangerous. Doctors have done this. But some have learned to use it as a diagnostic tool. If someone gets wacky just taking an AD, it can be a big sign that they may actually have bipolar.

Now many people think that orders such as depression is over diagnosed. But more serious disorders like borderline, bipolar, narcisstic personality disorder, are highly underdiagnosed.

I am for raising awareness. The stigma needs to be taken away, and people need to be informed. So families are not left suffering wondering what is wrong with their loved ones. And people can get proper treatment. Even if someone is receiving treatment, in the wrong doctors hands it can be made worse. My husband was sent into mania for 9 months because of a dr who wouldn't listen to him and that the meds were making him worse.

I really suggest you keep a chart, of yoru feelings. All day long, what is going on, the weather, what you ate, everything. A very strigent journal, this will help you find triggers, and understand what makes you tick. By learning to avoid triggers, it makes it easier to keep the disease in control. For example, if your always angry after going to a party, or you get into a fight at gatherings, you maybe suffering from a social anxiety and need tools to deal with it or avoid them all together. But a good chart not only helps inform you and yoru family, but it is valuable to your doctor as well.

Last but not least, have someone you trust as your advocate. Give them medical rights. Because you have to accept that your not always reasonable, and can think clearly, but they can. This allows them to talk to your doctor if something is not right. If things go way south they know what is going on. Always tell them everything. I know many spouses who keep binders of information from emotion charts, to medicines and reactions, to therapy. GET AN ADVOCATE

And drugs do not work by themselves, you need a therapist, and a good one. Study after study has shown that they work much better in combination then one or the other by itself.

And join support groups. That way you realize that you are not alone, and knowing your not alone is half the battle.

I wish you all find the health and happiness that you need. And never stop until you find it. One day, the medical community may start taking it seriously enough to start working on it more thoroughly, and start coming up with answers.
If you ever need someone to talk too, or don't understand something, feel free to IM me.

[edit on 31-3-2010 by nixie_nox]