7 Common Survival Tactics (that will get you killed)

7 Common Survival Tactics (that will get you killed)

Found this article on Cracked.com (a humor website) and thought I'd share it with my fellow ATSers. Nothing too profound here, but a very humorous look at some common "survival" misconceptions. Worth a read if not for the laughs alone.

#7. In Case of Shark, Punch in Nose

LOL Im going to be honest with you and I don’t know about anyone else here but I can’t really see that happening while im out camping with my friends.

Never know though prepare for anything right?

[edit on 18-1-2010 by Rising Against]

yes, cracked.com is the most hilarious website out there. you should check out 6 mysterious science can't explain. that is a good one too.

That was a hilarious read, and the information on how to make a solar still topped it off.

thanx .. cracked is an awesome website

The last reference to drinking from a cactus is not totally untrue; barrel cactus contains water (pure drinking water) and prickly pear juice will NOT give you a case of the cramps.
As usual. another online magazine with little or no research actually going into the writing.

I owe you a big pyle of gratitude and respect !
Thanks !!

I think i actualy laughed my balls of.

The real answers? (personal thoughts)

7. Shark - you're pretty much screwed, but going for the eyes might work...
6. Earthquake - bathtub, with a mattress over you...
5. Lightning - under a tree (yes, I know, people will tell you they attract lightning, but you know what? I can dodge a tree branch a HELL of a lot better than a lightning bolt. Better would be of course, indoors!
4. Snake Bite - If you're going to be in the woods, carry a cheap snakebite kit...they have a suction device, and are dirt cheap...next, try to remember exactly what the snake looked like...(so they can type the antivenom)
3. Eat Snow - if you don't have a container, cup it in your (gloved) hands, and let it melt some...but better to find a container...and drink it after it has melted.
2. Drink Pee - you can do it, but only as a LAST resort, otherwise, it will only eventually speed up your dehydration... Better to make a solar still for turning the pee or salt water into fresh water. The idea is simple, two different sized bowls (or your raft as the bigger), some type of plastic sheeting (a rain slicker could work in a pinch), support it to where it tents down in the middle (and the condensed, evaporating water drips into the small container). Takes a while, but better than dehydration....
1. Drink Cactus - as mentioned, some are better than others. try the idea above, or look for flying insects, and follow them to water....or you can dig up a cactus, and hope there is some at the roots....

reply to post by Gazrok


My thoughts about yours.

7. I agree !
6. What gonna protect you when a concrete wall falls in you're bathtub?
5.The tree isn't the problem ! You're still getting fried because the lightning does not immediately disappears in the ground. It spreads out.
4. Go live further up north. Where there are less or no snakes at all.
3.How are you gonna build a shelter ? You won't be able to move your hands if their frozen.
2.Pea doesn't only makes you dehydrate faster. There are also toxic left overs your body wanted out. You will also poison yourself after some time.
1.Any idiot knows a dessert isn't a good place to be. stay out.



Of course i'm posting this to be funny , never disrespectful.

Peace !!

Originally posted by Gazrok
The real answers? (personal thoughts)


6. Earthquake - bathtub, with a mattress over you..

you want to try something funny try to move a mattress from your bedroom to bathroom and see how long it takes.
then remember that the floor is rolling and things are falling and rolling across the floor.
if you can do it withing 10 seconds this might be a good idea but i don't think most people can make it

5. Lightning - under a tree (yes, I know, people will tell you they attract lightning, but you know what? I can dodge a tree branch a HELL of a lot better than a lightning bolt. Better would be of course, indoors!

yah right
www.chestjournal.org/content/126/5/1431.full.pdf
www.flickr.com...
www.irishtimes.com...

1. Drink Cactus - as mentioned, some are better than others. try the idea above, or look for flying insects, and follow them to water....or you can dig up a cactus, and hope there is some at the roots....

San Pedro cactus, peyote cactus, Ariocarpus retusus, Astrophytum capricorne, A. asterias, and A. myriostigma.
At the present time 42 species of cacti in 19 genera have been found to contain psychoactive compounds.
www.thewildclassroom.com...
have a nice day.

wait, who tried to punch a shark in the first place??

That website makes reading fun. Seriously.

reply to post by pumpkingrapefruit


a shark has some kind of protection thing where it rolls its eyes backward...almost with some kind of nictitating membrane of some kind....this protects its eyes from a thrashing about...say...seal or something like that.....

just a thought......I would say if you're head to head with a shark...unless you've a sharp knife and the shark is pretty small, (NOT a great white or hammerhead...etc)...you're pretty much up the creek......

my opinion, of course..... d(-_-)b

reply to post by ANNED


I like your answers, I wanted to add to the earthquake survival. My research has shown that you have the best chance of survival by hiding, next to, not under, a solid or uncrushable object. hiding under tables, and beds will get you crushed, but they will only crush down so far, then they will support larger debris from falling on you! mostly...

Best defence against shark....swim into the mouth your screwed anyway might as well try and make em choke to death on ya.

Nope.....you're all wrong.

Best defense against a shark is to never go swimming alone.

And, of course, just make sure you're a faster swimmer than your buddy.



Thanks for the read, I really needed that laugh!!!!!

Originally posted by pumpkingrapefruit
wait, who tried to punch a shark in the first place??

I dont know but LL Cool Jay stabbed one in the eye with his cross necklace after the shark ate his bird. Deep blue sea... watch it

so i think the real answer to 7 is, stab it with cross in the eye!

I have another one that you see in movies all the time.

If ever you are stranded in the bush, ship wrecked on a shore, or crashed in a plane in the wilderness. You never leave the scene and try to go get help or walk out on your own.

The best chances of being found are closest to where you initially got lost. Heading out will just make you more of a liability and delay the chances of the others getting to safety.

Never leave the scene stay put and focus all efforts around the crash site or along the shore do not move or leave the area never.

reply to post by pumpkingrapefruit


In one off the Jackass movies, Steve-o kicks a shark coming at him deflecting the shark...it could work, but if you can't get out of the water, you may just anger the shark and he'll come back around.

YouTube Vid

easy
Shark- In the event of a shark attack you already broke SEVERAL pervious rules in basic survival.
Earthquake- There is no "sure fire" survival for this one as everyhouse is different. Throwing your bed over the bathtub is not very practical especially if your not at home. Outside is probably the best bet here if your in a residential zone the sidewalk would probably be pretty safe or a parking lot. I know running outside may not be the easiest thing in the world to do but probably a lot easier than moving your bed over your tub.
Lightning- $%1T happens, under a tree or going back to your car is probably the best thing to do, people get freaked out by lightining but most of the time it is a lot farther then it seems. When lightning is overhead you will know it, so under a tree or back to your car is the best thing to do.
Snake Bite- If you are going into the wild you should carry a snake bite kit. If you do not have one tie the area off quickly and try to get helpand try to stay calm. If you have a cell phone just stay put and call for help. But learn your snakes there are a LOT of snakes that are not poisionous and not every snake is a rattle snake or a watter mocasin.
Thirst- You can drink your pee once...But keep in mind you can only do this once at it is really counter productive if you end up throwing it up because it tastes like someone pee'd in your mouth. Snow is kind of okay but you need to melt it first. Keep in mind watter is always down hill so head for lower ground plant roots are good and some cacti have watter.
Desert- Kind of like the shark attack, if you are stranded in the middle of the desert you already did something horribly wrong.