Satan pens letter to Pat Robertson

Dear Pat Robertson,
I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll. You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.
Best, Satan

Source

Had to laugh when I stumbled across this , Best Letter to the Editor of the Week , as per Time magazine's website .

LOL, there is truth to your OP.

Reminds me of this verse:

Matthew 4:8-9

Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor.

"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me."

That's a good one! Not much of a pact if you ask me! I mean what were they supposed to have gotten out of the deal?

looks like old pat robertson needs to keep his mouth shut. i wonder what he got out of his deal

I'm just saying: Not how I roll. You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad

There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that I wrote Pat Robertson regarding Haiti, nor would I have anything to do with Pat Robertson under any circumstances in any situation.

I have standards too you know!

Sincerely yours,

Lucifer