The mental in fundaMENTAList, page 2

As a young man in my 20's I spent several years involved in a Pentacostal Church. Got born-again, the whole nine yards. I read the Bible, with the exception of Revelations which, it seemed to me, was so incoherent that it could be made to mean anything, so I always avoided it. I had been a wild kid and ran with the party crowd. I had a job but spent way too much of my money and time in bars, chasing women and getting high on pot. I was looking for something a little more meaningful in my life. A friend from work suggeted I join his church group and I did. I left after two years in complete disgust. What I had discovered was that all of the holier-than-thou folks were just the same as the people I'd been hanging out in the bars to begin with! They were liars, cheaters, thieves, abusers, drunks and dopers, shallow, selfish, and most of them were fornicating like mad. When they were in church they would all pretend that absolutely none of that was going on and they would often raise their voices in condemnation of those unsaved fools that had been my former friends in the bars etc. But when they had you in a private setting they were either hitting on you or gossiping like crazy about all of the sinful crap that the other church members were up to! My last Sunday in church, I was attending with the woman I was dating. She had been recently divorced. One of the Church Elders, a lady I knew was cheating on her husband with another guy in the church, rose up to condemn my girlfriend and I for Adultery because, according to her, my girl was STILL married to her former creep of a husband in the eyes of God! That was the last straw. I had really had it with these phony S.O.B.'s.

before all of that, during the course the years, I had gotten to know these people better and better and I had begun to discern subtle similar patterns in their backgrounds. Many of these people, especially the guys, had been socially quite awkward as children. Many of them were no good at athletics and had shyed away from competition and conflict. Many of them had been picked on brutally by the socially adept and made the butt of cruel jokes and humiliations. It was striking how often the persecutions of their childhoods would creep into their private conversations with me and there was often a palpable tone of hatred and envy in their voices.

Many years later it began to dawn on me that the reason that they all were so devoted to the church was because it had offered them an imaginary place where THEY were the adepts and the elites and all of those jocks and cool kids were the outcasts. Once they felt inferior, but, in their church, they were the chosen of God and adored by none other than Jesus Christ himself, the savior of the world! Many of these guys were almost pschyzophrenic in church. Privately they confessed to feeling helplessness in their 9 to 5 lives, but in church they openly boasted of having power over demons! In a lot of ways the church was like a kind of therapy for these feeble little people. In their real lives they were still nobodies but the church provided a "Dungeons-and-Dragons"-like fantasy environment where they were empowered. In church they were no longer misfits but champions of the Most High, and righteous, oh so righteous, even while they were screwing the pastor's wife!

I believe that feeling of finally having one-up on all of those more capable than them is like a drug to their poor damaged egos. The bullies might have s'n-word'-snagged on them once, but the jokes on the bullies because they are going to Hell to burn forever while their righteous victim will ascend into heaven where he will always be adored for the great person he really is! It's all so perfect, all so therapeutic and so, so pathetic.

So, if you're wondering why these sadly twisted creatures are now trying to screw you over and insert themselves and their "divine" authority into your life, it's because there also exists a different creature in their fantasy playland. There are wolves disguised as sheep that traverse their mythic landscape. These creatures were never ostracized at school and have never felt inadequate. On the contrary, these creatures are able to navigate even the most treacherous of social waters with ease and grace. They are predators of the highest order who use the disaffected for their own personal gain. Psychologist would classify many of these people as classic sociopaths for they have no real regard for others. The only thing that matters to them is their ambitions. Many of them are striking and charismatic individuals, but they all are as cold as a coiled cobra. In my brief stay with the Pentacostal Church I met a number of these vipers. They always came on in the same fashion. When they met you they would stare intensely into your eyes. I never looked away. If they took my hand I squeezed it just as hard as they, sometimes harder. Sometimes I would rock their knuckles together. I was rebuked on several occassions as being arrogant. They weren't wrong in that assessment!

The recently reviled Pat Robertson would be an excellent example of the kind of creature I speak of. They all occupy high positions within their respective churches and, make no mistake, for these guys, the church is just a money-making machine, nothing more. It's a lucrative racket. They know all the right moves and say all the right things to keep their flocks in line and fleeced on a regular basis. Many of them are almost artists of the religious con. It may well have been Pat himself that first realized the political potential of being able to deliver the Zombie Vote to the highest bidder. Since then churches of many denominations have followed suit, and now the so-called Religious Right stands as a towering testament to the childish revenge desires of their sheeple and the all-encompassing greed and lust of those who deliberately exploit them and their many weaknesses.

As for me, I've been studying Religions for a long long time now. I'm a dilletante in some respects. I take what I find useful from this philosophy and that and then chuck the dross out the window. To me the only real use for religion is the perfection of the self. Unlike those poor bastards that I was rubbing shoulders with for two misbegotten years, I have never required divine intervention to navigate my life nor illogical superstition to comfort me in times of duress. Guess that's why I'm just Godless and proud of it.