Mother in law calls after 42 years

This has to be the right forum.
Well my wife is on the phone right now with her Mother who left her and her Father when she was 2 years old on the back of a motorcycle.. She was trying to get hold of her for Christmas Through my gift to her, (my wife) access to a full on people
search. So my wife left our phone number a few places and she has called here during my session on ATS. I immediatly started looking for a sound trac of, "getting to know you" to play in the background, but I
couldn't find one for some reason. She found out she has a brother 28
she talked to him too. There is quite a buzz going on around here right now.
The fun part for me is gonna be telling her other Mother that her real mother has
called. I was already getting dirty looks at Christmas time for setting this up.
Any questions?

Relates?

Warnings ?
Ramifications?
What have you's ?

reply to post by randyvs


It is always great when families can get back in touch after so many years.
I am sorry that your wife's mother left her,but I am glad she did hear from
her.

Originally posted by randyvs

The fun part for me is gonna be telling her other Mother that her real mother has
called. I was already getting dirty looks at Christmas time for setting this up.

Any questions?

You mean to say "telling her real mother her other mother has called"?

She's not her mother by a long shot. She is just the woman who abandoned her. She should be little better than any other stranger.

Congrats that you accomplished what you were looking to do.

Hopefully you wont stir things up too badly. I'm sure you've made some enemies LOL, but the adopted mother in law probably didn't like you anyway

Good luck, because thats some situation going on. And I hate when things are so complicated.

All the best to your wife.
I hope that she is able to resolve what she needs to of her past.

reply to post by mamabeth

It is always great when families can get back in touch after so many years.

My wife says Thank you

She's not her mother by a long shot. She is just the woman who abandoned her. She should be little better than any other stranger

Now that you mention it yes I better get used to saying it that way.

Sorry the responses will be slow for a little while>

My wife wants thank all the immediate best wishes.
So Thank you all so much .
She's is very happy with her new year.

Hopefully you wont stir things up too badly. I'm sure you've made some enemies LOL, but the adopted mother in law probably didn't like you anyway

lol it isnt all that bad.

[edit on 7-1-2010 by randyvs]

[edit on 7-1-2010 by randyvs]

I think that you are a very wonderful person for doing this for your wife. You are totally on this and that is real love.
Let the chip's fall where they may ! And I know it's family your dealing with but brush off any negativity they might possibly try to send your way.
This is a very healing situation for your wife she is lucky she can have some closure with her past meeting the present. Peace

reply to post by ozzy765

I think that you are a very wonderful person for doing this for your wife. You are totally on this and that is real love.
Let the chip's fall where they may ! And I know it's family your dealing with but brush off any negativity they might possibly try to send your way.
This is a very healing situation for your wife she is lucky she can have some closure with her past meeting the present. Peace

Thank you ozzy Needless to say yes home run.

Skadi

All the best to your wife.

thank you my lady.

[edit on 7-1-2010 by randyvs]

She should meet with her birth mother, maybe some fences can be mended, but with a gentle reminder who her real mother is, is the one that nursed her and raised her in a loving home.

She should meet with her birth mother, maybe some fences can be mended, but with a gentle reminder who her real mother is, is the one that nursed her and raised her in a loving home.

reply to post by Blackmarketeer


Very true and that is exactly what the atmosphere is you nailed it.

reply to post by randyvs

just my opinion, but I would let mom know that she is and always will be number 1. She will be apprehensive and rightfully so, but i am sure she will see that this is a good thing for all concerned in the long run. Tell your wife I am very happy for her to meet extended family. You can never have too much of that. And remember, everything happens for a reason, and this is just one of those things.

great job on your efforts as well.

Wow, best wishes and good luck with everything. Your heart is in the right place. My mom gave me away when I was a baby. That was a long time ago. I have no idea what was going on in her life. One thing I do know is that I'm the product of an interracial relationship and that was a huge no no at the time. I wish I knew where she, and probably my siblings are, especially since I have none now. In any case, the very best wishes for love and healing to your family.

Your wife should extract some sort of revenge, and tell her real mom that she married a multi-billionaire, then she can go on and on about how great life is, about the trips to paris france ( where you own a vineyard), about how you donate millions to underprivledged kids.

and when the real mom ask's for money ( as she surely will ) your wife should tell her that she would only be enabling her, she should work through her own financial problems ...... its for the best.

reply to post by network dude


The wife says thanks to Network Dude and I do fully agree she should be reassured probably more for my sake so I will remind her to do that.
Great point. LOL

Stella
What can I say? You are truly comical. That dosn't even cover it.
excellent post. If I had a hundred stars to through, you would think I was ninja. I laughed hard at that because you nailed the part about enabling
her as we already know she's a tea toadler. :shh:

lel
Darling my wife wants to call you now.




[edit on 7-1-2010 by randyvs]

You did good, Randyvs

Your wife is now 44, give or take

It's the time in life when many people (who haven't previously done so )begin to take an interest in their ancestry, history, etc.

At 44 years of age, this isn't going to throw your wife any insurmountable hoops or challenges. At 44, you pretty much know who you are and generally you're beginning to get comfortable with yourself and life generally

So, your timing is great and it's to be expected that the reunion will be rewarding for all concerned, despite that of course it may be uncomfortable for some in the sort term (Americans, who come up with SO many great items of common wisdom have a saying for this .. about not being able to make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, lol)

It's great for your wife's biological mother. Gives her the opportunity to connect with her child. No matter what condemnation flies, any woman who's carried a child within her and given birth, shared that child's earliest years ... has a heart. Has love. Regrets. Hopes. And is deserving of some warmth, some generosity, understanding, forgiveness, charity, love. Hopefully as the months and years progress, biological mother and child will find a situation comfortable for both (for ALL ) and that gives each of them (and others) something that was lacking through all those years

For those who raised your wife, there should be (maybe immediately or perhaps in time) a equal sense of 'this is great', if for no other reason than your wife's sake


You did good ... very good You have a big heart

reply to post by Dock9


Thanks Doc that's really what I love about this site man. There is always some one available to point out the things that really count and I appreciate your post more than I can say.

Thank you from both of us.

Damn must have gotten some pepper in my eyes.

Robbi
Thanks for posting Robbi.


[edit on 8-1-2010 by randyvs]

Best of Luck to you all!

It's a wonderful thing when reconnects happen and the voids can be filled in.
I am in agreement that Mom is the one that raised her and care should be taken to reasure her as well.

Bless you all in the days ahead!

Thanks for all the Great replys every one.
I think this is the happiest thread since the onion thread took off.