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Spare the rod, spoil the child a new study says

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posted on Jan, 6 2010 @ 11:38 PM
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For years we've heard of study after study about how spanking hurts children's psychology and teaches them violence. It's gotten to the point where parents aren't legally allowed to spank their naughty children in some states.

A new study has come out verifying what every parent with an ounce of common sense knows. Spanking is good for our kids.

The study's author claims prior studies were flawed because NONE of the children in those studies had NOT been spanked. Now, thanks to 30 years of liberal parenting, a study has been able to be conducted comparing children who are spanked against those who are not:


The New American


New Study Finds Spanking Is Good for Kids

Spanking is like milk: It does a body good — or at least a mind. No, this isn’t the conclusion of traditionalist parenting expert Dr. James Dobson but the finding of a study conducted by psychology professor Marjorie Gunnoe at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Michigan. FoxNews.com reports on the story, writing, “According to the research, children spanked up to the age of 6 were likely as teenagers to perform better at school and were more likely to carry out volunteer work and to want to go to college than their peers who had never been physically disciplined.”

This may come as a relief to parents who don’t wish to spare the rod, but have been accosted with numerous studies stating just the opposite. But how do we reconcile these contradictory findings? Well, perhaps the answer is that the previous scientific studies weren’t very scientific. Fox points out that, in the past, such research was lacking because it was difficult in more traditional times to find subjects who had never been spanked. In contrast, Professor Gunnoe included 2600 such individuals in her study.

We should bear this in mind when hearing claims used to justify anti-spanking laws, such as the prohibitions they have in Sweden and certain localities in the United States. Professor Gunnoe says that such claims are untenable and just don’t accord with the data.

Yet there is a larger truth about these contradictory studies: in reality, you can find research to justify any position you might take. This is why we must never, in the name of “science,” dispense with what G.K. Chesterton called “that forgotten branch of psychology”: common sense.



Amen to that G.K.



The study goes on to say that parents who fail to spank tend to be overly permissive, set poor examples, are inconsistent in moral guidance and do not teach responsibility.

Who didn't see that one coming?






[edit on 7-1-2010 by FortAnthem]




posted on Jan, 6 2010 @ 11:51 PM
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Spanking has it's time and place and honestly I'll admit it has kept me in line from time to time
. I've seen the effects of not having a child spanked which is primarily my cousins.

They were climbing on furniture and just running around, if they didn't get their way then they pretty much cried and threw the biggest tantrum they could. Honestly yelling did nothing so what is left to do? I know their are limits to how you can discipline a child and not hitting them as hard as you can, but at the same time not hitting them could be just as damaging (in my opinion), maybe it's because I saw my cousins acting the way they did and that's probably why I'm saying this. Though I'm sure their are some kids who have gotten by without gettin' a lick from the stick and are good.



posted on Jan, 6 2010 @ 11:54 PM
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And they need a "study" to prove the obvious to themselves. What a colossal waste of time.



— Doc Velocity



posted on Jan, 6 2010 @ 11:59 PM
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reply to post by Gigantea Rosa
 


Thanks for the responce.

I have seen exactly what you are talking about right here within my own family.

My wife tends to be over-permissive with the kids and they walk all over her. She very rarely raises her hands to the kids. When she's home they run to her screaming bloody murder for everything and she caves every time.

I, on the other hand have never been shy about corporeal punishment. I spanked the kids early and now, all it takes is a raised voice to keep them in line. Just the knowledge daddy might spank keeps them in line.



posted on Jan, 6 2010 @ 11:59 PM
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When I have kids, they will be spanked. And they will learn to work for their earnings, and the things they want to enjoy. My parents did it to me, and it did not hurt me one bit.



posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 12:09 AM
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reply to post by FortAnthem
 


Well in your case I'd say it's good that at least one of you is doing it, therefore when one one ( of the parents ) walks into the room, the children come to attention
. Though on the side of my family I don't think either of them are doing anything to be honest. It's all fallen on my grandmother or so it seems, whenever she walks into the room they seem to fall into line as if they expect a type of punishment to come upon them if they mess up.

I don't know maybe it's the innocent faces that usually throw some parents off from wanting to hit the children, as it seems children are running the shots these days.

[edit] Grammar (I put these days twice :/)

[edit on 7-1-2010 by Gigantea Rosa]



posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 12:27 AM
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I don't think that spanking is the reasoning behind having children who "behave" better.

It has to do with punishment and enforcement.

My parents liked to make me go stare into the corner for a long time more often than spanking... And I sure ended up fearing that corner a lot more than a quick spanking.

I think this study has to be flawed:

I think that parents who don't spank their children are more likely to be parents who don't care as much about their children and their behavior as the spanking parents.

There are sooooo many different factors that contribute to the way a child grows up, spanking is definitely one of them, but I wouldn't believe for 1 second that a kid who got spanked is going to turn out better than one who hasn't.

Also... families with spanking tend to be traditional/religious families more often than not, where misbehavior is not tolerated, and positive action and volunteering is encouraged.

This study has to make sure to have parents who equally enforce the same values and ideals upon their children, but differ in their spanking-as-punishment.

My extended family is very traditionally catholic, and these values are enforced on pretty much all of my relatives, and most of us have turned out pretty good.


[edit on 7/1/1010 by Monts]



posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 12:36 AM
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Originally posted by Gigantea Rosa
reply to post by FortAnthem
 



I don't know maybe it's the innocent faces that usually throw some parents off from wanting to hit the children, as it seems these days children are running the shots these days.


It's tough being the disciplinarian of the family. I often find myself cast as the bad guy, ie "wait till your dad gets home" type stuff. It would help if she would carry some of the weight. I love my children very much and have at times felt unable to show it because they are smart and will pounce on any sign of weakness.

And, yes, it is very hard to crack down on those sweet innocent faces. I have had to develope a very thick skin to ignore their constant pleas and excuses for not doing what they should. Dinner and bed time are a nightmare, especially when the wife is home to cave in to their lame excuses.

I sometimes wish I could go back to just being a loving and affectionate father but, I fear they may loose their respect for me if I become too much of a friend to them.


edit for spellin. Darn fat fingers...

[edit on 7-1-2010 by FortAnthem]



posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 12:42 AM
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reply to post by Monts
 


Great points. It just could be that more traditional, disciplined families resort to spanking while liberal nambie pambies allow their kids to run wild with no discipline.

No study will ever be able to take into acount all veriables.


I have to ask though;

If you had refused to stare at the corner when you were a child, what do you think your parents would have done then?



edit for spellin


[edit on 7-1-2010 by FortAnthem]



posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 12:44 AM
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If I have kids I would want to spank them if it came to me that I couldn't discipline them any other way, however I would be breaking the law, not only the governments law but the politically correct law.
I would probably be shunned and chastised for doing it if anyone found out..
Quite the conundrum.. what would you do?

I know I could've used a good spanking, hell I could've used a few beatdowns.

Now that I think about it my mom used to sit on me and not let me go whenever I threw a tantrum and got too far out of control. I wonder how effective that was..



posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 12:49 AM
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reply to post by FortAnthem
 


I may not have kids and not sure if I want any yet I can somewhat see where your coming from at least if I look at it from my own father's perspective. I suppose that saying of "This hurts me more than it's going to hurt you" could definitely be applied in situations where discipline is needed.

Though if the way I turned out is anything to go by, those days are just going to get better. Sure my dad and I butt heads sometimes, but we're like the best of pals and I have the utmost respect for him. So I guess a rocky start will always smooth out later to nice smooth patches
.



posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 12:55 AM
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"Spare the rod and spoil the child" has been so misunderstood for a very long time. It does not mean to not smack but spoil them instead, as we have been doing now for over 20 years since governments disempowered parents. Look around any town or city to see the result of this disgusting experiment in the breakdown of society.

What it does mean is that if you spare the rod you will spoil the child, like a spoilt apple, which is no good to anyone.

We here in Oz recently had a similar story in the papers about spanking and how it does have positive effects in children, it sets the limit of your established boundaries and as parents should know, Boundaries are what makes kids feel Safe.

No boundaries will cause a non-malleable child to push and keep pushing until a boundary is found, until someone says "Enough" and firmly shows them so.

At the same time this research shows that from the age of 12 onwards smacking has a detrimental effect on the children. But I would think many parents would have already reched the understanding that their kids are now too big to smack at that age anyway.

Unfortunately, it is from this age that many kids suffer abuse from parents who have not reached that understanding or the ability to master their own Reactions. Those parents will escalate the smacking to physical abuse, and this is where the main problem lay with abusive parenting patterns.



posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 01:06 AM
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reply to post by FortAnthem
 


So, the politically correct American is wrong again?


two lines



posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 01:15 AM
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Originally posted by eldard
reply to post by FortAnthem
 


So, the politically correct American is wrong again?


two lines


Strange as it may seem, political correctness never seems to get it right.

PC is a conspiracy of lies to trap us using the overly scrupulous conscience to do utter nonsence. It's all an illusion to gain more power for TPTB.

Unruley, undisciplined childern grow into unruley, undisciplined adults who need police state power to keep them in line and socialist entitlements to keep them clothed, housed and fed.



posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 02:17 AM
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Our sons are laid back like their dad. We never spanked but there was discipline. We get along good.

I think there's a lot of genetics at play. Some kids have a hard time getting a handle on their emotions and energy. It just boils over. If your patient & firm they will learn better self control. It's not just a child's body that grows & changes their brains do too. Some just don't make that connection as quickly & easily as others.

I see nothing wrong with a parent spanking a child. People who feel it's ok because they were spanked as kids were probably little fiends once. Now their kids are the same way. I've seen it myself at birthdays when one little one is acting up I'll ask his dad if he was just like that and I usually get a big grin. If your parents spanked you, you probably needed it. Most likely your kids are a chip off the old block.



posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 02:28 AM
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I've always thought that a lack of 'spanking' (I hate to use that word! - In UK it's smacking, spanking happens to a grown man in a nappy on a dodgy vid - the word has been ruined for me!).

Any way smacking or lack or it I always thought seemed to go hand in hand with the rise of ADHD type disorders, you know, when I got out of hand I was put in my place, now a days too many parents refuse to smack and the kid just works and works on the parents until they are a gibbering wreak or the kid gets what they want - either way that's a reward for that behaviour, 1 they get what they were after or 2, they realise they have power over their parents.

Some of the brats I've seen should be wearing shock collars by now, it's a slippery slope once they gain an upper hand like that - glad I'm single and child free! - I can smoke to ruin my health!



posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 02:48 AM
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If you need in managing problem kids then take a look at Tania Byron.

I saw her show on BBC and was amazed how often it is very simple to fix many problems with kids IF YOU KNOW (someone sometimes needs to tell you these things) what to do
Then you realize that it is not hard. However schools do not teach this and kids do not come with "How to Use" manuals. In the past I think this knowledge was passed on when people lived closer together.

Here she is, Ms. Fix-It

Tanya Byron



posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 02:49 AM
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Spanking is terrible. When I was a kid and got hit my logic was if I just get a spanking, who the # cares? I can do what I want and get a short spanking. Spanking doesn't teach kids not to do things or set any good examples, it just makes kids spoiled and uncontrollable.



posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 03:21 AM
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Originally posted by paranoiaFTW
Spanking is terrible. When I was a kid and got hit my logic was if I just get a spanking, who the f___ cares? I can do what I want and get a short spanking. Spanking doesn't teach kids not to do things or set any good examples, it just makes kids spoiled and uncontrollable.

No, that just means you were a ruthlessly single-minded child and not at all easy to work with.

It's okay, some kids are Malleable and others are Ruthless. Parents don't get to pick which one they get.



posted on Jan, 7 2010 @ 03:34 AM
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Try this first before reaching for Force

Byron's Tips for Parents



Time Out For extreme bad behaviour, as a last resort you can use a technique called Time Out, where you put your child in a room and ignore them. First ask your child to stop misbehaving. If that doesn’t work ask again, but more firmly.This gives the child two chances to change his or her behaviour, and if they do, you praise them. If they refuse to stop the behaviour, or if the tantrum escalates, you go for Time Out. Take your child firmly but with no attention to a safe place where you can leave them for a one minute for each year of their life (ie three minutes for a three-year-old) up to a maximum of five minutes.You could try putting them on a stair or a chair, but if your child won’t sit still where you've put them you may need to put them in a room and shut the door. This is an extreme form of ignoring.You should not talk to your child through the door or give them any other form of attention during the Time Out period. This technique will allow everyone to calm down and prevent smacking occurring. It also very powerfully tells your child that their behaviour is completely unacceptable. Once the Time Out period is over explain to your child why they were Timed Out and then move on and praise them at the first opportunity.



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