Jesus juice!

Hello ATS. I have a question about the powers that Jesus might of had back in the days miracles. from what I heard, Jesus can turn water into wine in an instant and did so for a while. My question is did Jesus get everyone drunk on wine and then told them to write stories on the bible about everything thats happened to him till his death and if so would it still make the new testament viable? Im sorry if I am ignorant about this topic but I must know. So id like to hear some replies on what you think about the Jesus juice.

[edit on 4-1-2010 by Stop-loss!]

Well Micheal Jackson thought it was ok to give Jesus Juice to children around the age of 12. He also said he liked to serve them warm milk and cookies down by the fire. Ironically, it would be his "milk" that would kill him. Perhaps Jesus did not approve of his use of the term Jesus Juice. I think Jesus killed Micheal Jackson!

Jesus probably made wine that tasted better then Micheal's jesus juice.

I thought this thread had something to do with Michael Jackson becuase of the title.

But to answer your question, No.I highly doubt that was how the bible was written. Though the bible is still being debated upon whether it is historical fact, or just a book of stories. Considering the bibe had been written through thousands of years I think your real question should be "is the new testiment false because Jesus dictated while drunk people wrote it".

reply to post by YouAreDreaming


$tar for you. Im guessing if he did turn water to wine then it was probably stronger then the wine of today and tasty.

reply to post by Ghost in the Machine


$tar for you. I did not know that Micheal Jackson made his own Jesus juice until now, but that is a very good question indeed. Were people totally wasted when writing the bible?

if you botherd reading the bible you would see that drunkeness is frownd apon
jesus turnd the water into wine for a wedding and he only did it because his mother asked because the wedding family had run out of wine wich would of braught shame on them

reply to post by digby888


Thanks for the reply. So he did it only because it was requested and not in hugh amounts? Fascinating! $tar for you.

Originally posted by digby888
if you botherd reading the bible you would see that drunkeness is frownd apon
jesus turnd the water into wine for a wedding and he only did it because his mother asked because the wedding family had run out of wine wich would of braught shame on them

How do we know if it was really Wine, what if it is the Blood of Christ since that is what most Christians drink at communion?

I am still trying to fathom just how valuble a bottle of Jesus made wine would fetch on E-bay. I am guessing at least 10 million dollars. If Jesus was alive to day, he could make a killing with E-bay items.

Thanks for the topic, stop-loss, I think you bring up a good question.

Originally posted by digby888
if you botherd reading the bible you would see that drunkeness is frownd apon

Easy there friend, were you always a Christian? I wasn't. I couldn't read the Bible without my eyes itching and burning while the words jumped around on the page.

Originally posted by digby888
jesus turnd the water into wine for a wedding and he only did it because his mother asked because the wedding family had run out of wine wich would of braught shame on them

True, to add to this, there's the following support:

"Woe to him who gives drink to his neighbors, pouring it from the wineskin till they are drunk, so that he can gaze on their naked bodies." - Habakkuk 2:15

"Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit." - Ephesians 5:18

There is a difference between drinking wine and getting drunk on wine. The wine then was mixed with water, not nearly as potent as today's liquor store brands.

"In Jewish society wine was also mixed with water, and unmixed wine was considered a strong drink. Several Old Testament passages spoke of the difference between wine and strong drink (Deut. 14:26; 29:6). The priests were to avoid BOTH when they went into the tabernacle (Lev.10:8-9). The Talmud (oral traditions of the Jews from about 200 BC to AD 200) includes instructions concerning wine in several chapters. One section (Shabbath 77a) states that wine which does not carry at least 3 parts of water is not wine. It would be considered a strong drink.

Rabbis said that food unblessed was unclean. They taught that wine, unless mixed with water, could not be blessed. Some rabbis demanded three parts of water; some demanded ten parts water before they would bless it. While the standards varied somewhat, it does give us some insight into the common practice of mixing wine and water in the days of Christ. " - www.salembible.org...

As for Christ himself, he didn't drink any.

"He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even from birth." - Luke 1:15

[edit on 5-1-2010 by saint4God]

Originally posted by YouAreDreaming
If Jesus was alive to day, he could make a killing with E-bay items.

He is alive today. Jesus doesn't make a killing, he makes the living.

Another ridiculous thread. (Yeah, moderators, it's a one liner.):shk:

I can't remember the exact context, unfortunately, but I recall reading a argument from the days of the early church about wine and communion. It wasn't during the lifetime of Christ, but perhaps within one or two generations afterward. There is some document where an early church figure of some sort is complaining that in some (most?) congregations, the ritual of communion had degenerated into drunken madness. Apparently people were just swilling wine left and right and getting popskull skunk-drunk for the most part. I wonder if this is true and if so, how/when it was cracked down on. Wish I had a link or something to offer but this is from something I read years ago.

all thou it is clearly a dionysys reference, the bible once again has lost track of real time which seams to be a occurring theme in the books,

then again as this is the bible we are talking about things should be much more mythical then as first read , wine in reference with jesus blood and that passage of text only points to more surrogare kinship , firstly we have jesus who has " no father " but has two female guardians , his mother and the holy spirit which could be a reference to a lesbian household, then we have this where his mother asks jesus to give them wine (blood) which could point to same sex marrige and that jesus this time was the sperm donator for that couple.

yet then again , as this is the bible we are talking about they ve done everything in the opposite way instead of giving us the knowlege of how to make wine they just gave us silly story about how not to arrange a wedding , cause if you put on a wedding without wine "someone will have to call jesus for help and disturbing god´s son for a mediocre thing as this is almost blasphomeus yadi yadi yadi ,"

there, bible in 3 diffrent contexts

Maybe Jesus took strong drink, dumped it into water, and made wine with it?

I always wondered about a logical answer to this one, could this be it?

Now, about the fish?

Son=Sun

Sun turns water into wine via photosynthesis.

As a wine lover, I do agree that it is indeed a miracle.

Thanks for the info guys. Most of you have recieved $tars from me for valuable info on this topic. We must sink deep into the Jesus juice to find out how Jesus was still able to work miracles while under a drunken stuppor, along with wedding planners and bible story writers. Perhaps Jesus made some mistakes while wasted that was not written in the bible due to embarrassment.



[edit on 5-1-2010 by Stop-loss!]

Apparently you have no understanding of symbology at all. What exactly are you hoping to accomplish from this thread? I'm, by no means an orthodox anything, a cursory glance of my threads will show that, but threads that are designed to denigrate others are useless. That is all this thread is. It's a thread designed to denigrate.

[edit on 6-1-2010 by SpeakerofTruth]

Some people here are fooled into thinking that you are asking a sincere question, but you're not. There were some sincere answers, but the way your OP appears, it seems that you are being facetious. I hope I'm wrong, but I doubt it.

We must sink deep into the Jesus juice to find out how Jesus was still able to work miracles while under a drunken stuppor, along with wedding planners and bible story writers. Perhaps Jesus made some mistakes while wasted that was not written in the bible due to embarrassment.

Guess you got nothing better to do.

Tell you what, prove to me that Jesus was drunk when he performed miracles.

Amazing how you claim your ignorant of the topic but then come to this kind of conclusion after a few posts.

You can keep your star.

[edit on 6-1-2010 by jam321]

reply to post by jam321

You can keep your star

I don't think I really need any pentagrams either.
Seems to me only a drunk would call The Lord a drunk and you have the gut for it for sure. This would also explain your ignorance.
Christ was HONORing his mother's wish because he was capable.
Nothing more.
Everything Christ did is an example for you.
Facetious or not, the answer is there for others to see.
Facetiousness can be ignored.

[edit on 6-1-2010 by randyvs]