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Scary Monsters....Need your help!

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posted on Jan, 4 2010 @ 09:12 AM
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Hello All,

I have a 3 1/2 year old son who has developed a fascination and fear of 'monsters.' I'm not sure where he gets the idea of monsters from, probably preschool (he goes to a home daycare) or the television (he watches mainly Noggin- a educational site for kids but they do have loveable 'monsters').

Anyway, he is terrified of going into dark places by himself. Will wait until myself or my husband turns on the light. He hates to sleep alone, as well, and insists his bedroom overhead light be turned on all night long. A night light will not satisfy him. Most nights, he runs into our room screaming in panic about 'monsters' and crawls into bed with us.

I've tried lots of things to help calm him down. We've had the 'there are no monsters' talk, he has 'guardian' stuffed animals in his room, we play peaceful music for him at night, etc. I'm starting to become concerned about him.

I do plan to discuss this with his pediatrician at his next appointment, but thought some of you might have some tips and suggestions on what to do.

Thanks in advance!
smyleegrl




posted on Jan, 4 2010 @ 09:27 AM
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I think you are doing it right. I can see love in our words, so you will "win" again the monsters. It's a good idea to ask him a bit, but let him speak.

One Thing. I can remember dreaming about mosters before I ever saw one in a book or a picture, i was about 2 years old then. Maybe it's something energetic he feels - and he can't interprate it better then call it a monster.

Good luck!



posted on Jan, 4 2010 @ 09:28 AM
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Originally posted by smyleegrl
Hello All,

I have a 3 1/2 year old son who has developed a fascination and fear of 'monsters.' I'm not sure where he gets the idea of monsters from, probably preschool (he goes to a home daycare) or the television (he watches mainly Noggin- a educational site for kids but they do have loveable 'monsters').

...

I do plan to discuss this with his pediatrician at his next appointment, but thought some of you might have some tips and suggestions on what to do.

Thanks in advance!
smyleegrl


As a Father of three kids who has been through similar issues, I suggest you give him a hero or a guardian. Either make one up in a story or pick a story that has a noble hero and let him identify with that character, and/or pick some sort of figure that he can use. I think my oldest (now 14) had a plush eagle that watched over his bed and the youngest (now 8) has a lion and two Bionicles that have his back at night when he needs it. He grew out of it quickly soon after we set those up. I think it actually helps them associate the fear with a tangible object and/or story and they grow out of all of them at once at some point.


Seems to work really well for most to whom I suggest it.

Good luck!



posted on Jan, 4 2010 @ 09:28 AM
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I have three boys myself, but much older than you have...12, 15 and 17.

My oldest had trouble sleeping at night when he was approx between 3 and 5 - maybe not so much being afraid of monsters per se - but just trouble sleeping.

I tried speaking to a pediatrician (I´m not sure this is the correct term where I live as we usually just saw a nurse and not a doctor) at the regular checkups but they gave me all of these lousy suggestions that never really worked, eg. stand in the doorway and say goodnight, dont take the child up from his bed if he is crying, but go into the room, sit a while on his bed until he stops crying and then go out, repeat if necessary.

All these suggestions never worked. Let me rephrase this...all these *lousy* suggestion never worked, not for my oldest, nor for my other two boys.


So what did I do?
I either let the kid that was afraid or had trouble sleeping just sleep in our bed, or I went sleeping in the childs room instead, until the age when this didnt really happen no more. And that was that.

The two oldest are now taller than I am...



posted on Jan, 4 2010 @ 09:31 AM
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When my son had fears of monsters, I used "Monster Spray" to get rid of them. I would pretend to hold a spray can and shake it up, then walk around and "spray" every corner of his room, closet, bathroom, and under the bed, making a "psssst" noise. Sometimes it required two treatments, but he bought into the monster spray protection plan and it worked for him.

I think kids may very well see things we don't, so we should treat their fears with some respect. In that regard, I look at the monster spray as a cleansing ritual. If there was anything nasty lurking around, my focused intent was to spray it all away and prevent it from returning. So on a visualization/energy level it works too. Invisible spray cans seem to work fine against invisible monsters.

Hope this helps - Good luck!



posted on Jan, 4 2010 @ 09:32 AM
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reply to post by smyleegrl
 


Right...and remember that your Pediatrician is not really equipped to handle issues like those other than as a friend or a parent if they have kids and have been through it...it certainly does not qualify as a professional issue to a Pediatrician. If he or she tries to charge you for asking about this, I'd be ticked off.


Have you spoken to any of the Grandparents? If they raised you and your spouse well then they are probably one of your best resources for this sort of advice.

* PS - As others have said, the simple fact that you are concerned and care about it tells me that your son's a lucky ducky and will be fine!



posted on Jan, 4 2010 @ 09:33 AM
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Originally posted by gwynnhwyfar
When my son had fears of monsters, I used "Monster Spray" to get rid of them. I would pretend to hold a spray can and shake it up, then walk around and "spray" every corner of his room, closet, bathroom, and under the bed, making a "psssst" noise. Sometimes it required two treatments, but he bought into the monster spray protection plan and it worked for him.


Awesome. Pure brilliance!



posted on Jan, 4 2010 @ 09:34 AM
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i have a daughter with the same problem and she is now 14 but she i disabled she alway wants one of her sisters to sleep with her ind the light in her room and in the hall has got to be on but i have started to get her out of the habbet of her sisters sleeping with her by buying a set of cheap walky talkies she has one and i have the other so it means if she gets scared during the night she can talk to me over the walky talkie
so maybe you could try that turn it into a game and that might be even better

hope that helps



posted on Jan, 4 2010 @ 09:35 AM
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reply to post by digigeek
 


hmmm, what about take kids seriously?



posted on Jan, 4 2010 @ 09:37 AM
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reply to post by cushycrux
 


Sure. Feed it and get the poor guy all confused. Do you have children?



posted on Jan, 4 2010 @ 09:38 AM
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Thanks everyone for the suggestions. I really appreciate them!

We have tried the guardian animal....he has dinosaurs, griffins, etc that he picked. So far it hasn't worked, can you give me more details on how you did it? Maybe we are doing it wrong.

I'm concerned about him sleeping in our bed, as I've heard it can become a habit. Those of you who allowed your children to sleep in your bed, did they eventually get over this, or did you have to go through a period of readjustment?

I love the monster spray idea, will definitely give that one a shot.

I am intrigued by the notion that his idea of a 'monster' may not actually be what I envision as a monster. Are there other ways I can get him to discuss his fears with me?

Again, thanks for responding. I KNEW ATS would have some great answers!



posted on Jan, 4 2010 @ 09:39 AM
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reply to post by smyleegrl
 




tips and suggestions on what to do.


Listen to what he says. Take him seriously. Ask him where the monsters are. If he says where, then look there. If he says they will come back when you leave, ask him what you can do to make sure they don't.

Try to see things from his point of view. He believes there are monsters. Let's set aside whether there really are or aren't.

Do what he needs to be reassured. Not what you need.



posted on Jan, 4 2010 @ 09:41 AM
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I just remembered a cute little Sesame St. book called something like "There's a Monster at the End of this Book" that your little guy might really enjoy having read to him. It's funny, silly, and puts this sort of fear into a comical perspective.

The Monster at the End of this Book



posted on Jan, 4 2010 @ 09:45 AM
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Originally posted by digigeek
reply to post by cushycrux
 


Sure. Feed it and get the poor guy all confused. Do you have children?


Ich wusste es. NO, But I was a Kid - and can remember my monster-situation. Almost is the "bad monster" only a metaphor.

[edit on 4-1-2010 by cushycrux]



posted on Jan, 4 2010 @ 09:46 AM
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Originally posted by smyleegrl

I'm concerned about him sleeping in our bed, as I've heard it can become a habit. Those of you who allowed your children to sleep in your bed, did they eventually get over this, or did you have to go through a period of readjustment?


Nah, people kept telling me that too, that it would be hard to readjust if I let the kid that had problems sleeping sleep in our bed, but nope...it wasnt...what happened was that I for a brief period went to sleep in the kids room instead and then it was ok and they slept all night by themselves.



posted on Jan, 4 2010 @ 09:47 AM
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reply to post by digigeek
 


Beat me to the punch. I was going to mention having the boy watch Sesame Street. They are all monsters and explaining that they are good monsters who want to play and learn with your son might help.

If not, tell your son to sit in the other room while you "take care of" said monsters. Go into his room with a garbage bag, shut the door, and make a real racket. Make it sound like a serious fight is going on. Then walk out of the room with the bag and tell him the monsters are in the bag and you are taking them to the trash.

that worked for me when I was a kid.



posted on Jan, 4 2010 @ 09:50 AM
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when I was a kid I had problems in sleeping alone too .... so, I think its "normal" ... the problem is that he does have just 3 years ... how can he even understand what monsters really are lol



posted on Jan, 4 2010 @ 09:50 AM
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Originally posted by LordBucket
reply to post by smyleegrl
 




tips and suggestions on what to do.


Listen to what he says. Take him seriously. Ask him where the monsters are. If he says where, then look there. If he says they will come back when you leave, ask him what you can do to make sure they don't.

Try to see things from his point of view. He believes there are monsters. Let's set aside whether there really are or aren't.

Do what he needs to be reassured. Not what you need.



Do you still believe that Santa comes every year?

Every child gets these fears for crying out loud. You don't sound like a parent to me, you sound like someone who thinks that children are to be treated like little adults. You suck all the fun out of kids' lives that way.

I often don't feel like facing my own fears. Do I need to sit down and try to rationalize them or get on with the fact that I need to get over them and move ahead?

You remind me of the ridiculous Dog Psychic from Down and Out in Beverly Hills, Dr. Von Zimmer where he's interviewing the dog and blaming all its issues on the family.



posted on Jan, 4 2010 @ 09:53 AM
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Yes, definitely agree on taking him seriously. I would spray extra wherever my son wanted me to spray. It's creating a safe environment using imagery and intent. Details help too, like "I know you've been worried about monsters, so I got this Monster Spray that we are going to spray wherever we need to in order to keep those monsters away." You can have your son stand and turn in a circle while you spray him. He may at some point start to pretend to spray the room himself, which I took as a sign my son was feeling more empowered to keep the monsters away all on his own.
Eventually it stops coming up, probably because he's now got a mental tool to handle it.



posted on Jan, 4 2010 @ 10:00 AM
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I don't have a child, so I don't have any personal experience to share. If I was in your position, I'd ask him to try explain what the "monster/s" look like. It may just be a figment of his imagination conjured up by something he saw, and that could then help you identify the source.




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