reply to post by Icarus Rising
Hi my friend, I can respect your beliefs. We are somewhat close in our beliefs.
You believe in Jesus Christ, and I believe in Julius Caesar.
I think it’s fair to say that distortions abound when it comes to both. The thing about a great story is making the characters in them seem bigger
We live in a bizarre universe, which is probably a misnomer, since after all, being that there is just one universe, what do we gauge it against to
call it bizarre, or normal for that matter.
What I care about is needless suffering. This is actually saying a lot since I am a sadist by nature. Perhaps a bit selfish too, because if it’s not
me responsible for people’s suffering, it really ticks me off! The truth, is though, I much prefer to simply make that significant other, who enjoys
consensual and sensual suffering as the limit to my sadistic propensities, though that character trait sometimes shows up in my humor.
When I was younger, much younger, I used to search constantly for the answers to the meaning of life, the nature of the universe, how it, how we,
sprang into existence, the real purpose behind it all.
I looked far and wide, sometimes obsessively so, sometimes to the point of near madness and even physical illness, I taxed my mind, and curiosity and
inherent desire to understand so strenuously.
So believe me, when I say, I think we all search for a meaning, any meaning, that makes our existence less than random madness, and displays some
rhyme and reason.
I eventually found all the answers I was looking for, in the blink of an eye, which is saying a lot considering the number of questions I had. I found
them in the strangest place, really the place I never thought to look, I found them within me, and in finding them, as I found them, I realized that I
had known them all along.
I like most people just wasn’t very good at really communicating or trusting completely in myself.
Now let me tell you in that moment of accidental epiphany, as I stood upon the astral plane, connected by a silver strand, to the universe in it’s
entirety, with all its awesome power coursing through me, nearly, well in fact tearing and ripping me asunder, I experienced something I rarely ever
do, and I experienced in a way, and at an intensity I never have and never hope to again, I experienced true terror.
I had by sheer accident arrived at a point of dimensional time and space that some people spend their entire lifetimes trying to reach and attain.
I was terrified, and I do mean terrified, and in that moment of overwhelming fear, as a sheer madness I never dreamed existed descended upon me and
came a part of me, and I became a part of it, and felt and realized that connection to literally everything that is, I did, for that one and only time
in my life, call out for God to some how help me find my way back, to this plane, to this place, to this time, and to help me render everything back
to my version of normal.
The Universe spoke back to me, and I don’t think it was your perception of Christ or God, and when it did, it spoke through another, a person I in
fact knew, a person who the next day could only vaguely remember we had a conversation, and absolutely nothing about what the conversation was about.
The answer in fact shocked me and frightened me even more than the tremendous experience I was having and the startling things that had just been
revealed. In fact that answer still echoes in my ears today…
“Don’t you want to be the Master anymore?”
Talk about an incredibly bad hair day!
Now at that moment, I was being given a choice, a choice to simply de-atomize and spread myself out into the cosmos, or a choice to return to my life,
my wife, my child, and everything I held near and dear, but with a caveat…
1. I would never retain these things, and they would be taken away from me.
2. I have to continue to be the Master.
3. The story has a bad ending so make sure you’re sure.
I wasn’t ready to go my friend, I wanted to live here, to grow old, and die, like those before me, loved ones at my side.
I know it’s not going to turn out that way for me.
Now is there something out there, big, and powerful, and beyond description?
There sure is, but I truly don’t believe the Christian concept of God accurately captures its full meaning or nature.
So as you can see I have quite the conundrum don’t I?
It’s all tied to a little place, and thing we call Rome!
Either it’s a very strange world, or I am very strange, and honestly I am not sure some days who to put my money on there, but most days I am
leaning to putting it on the world being very strange, since most people are inclined to agree to one extent or another.
I will trade jobs with you if you like!
I am my friend, one person who crying is not going to help, and praying will do no good!
Thanks for sharing, and of course, no offense taken!
[edit on 12/4/10 by ProtoplasmicTraveler]