What is Your Number 1 Pet hate?

reply to post by LiveForever8


Ah, I feel Forrests pain, I once had a goldfish that tried (and was successful in doing so) to outsmart me with its vast knowledge of politics & its extremist views. Its last words were something about how much it admired Robert Mugabe, before it accidentally got flushed down the toilet.

Haha, ooh I love that 5 seconds of joy you get from ruining a film for someone. Although I only tell people fake endings. I actually managed to convince my mum that the guy out of 7 Pounds was actually a badass drugs baron who had terminal cancer, and thats why he was in such a bad mood.

Oh dear, I can completely understand how the sound of Rolf doing whatever he was doing with the kangaroo could have lulled you to sleep.
'Home and Away'.... Genius. Well done.

You laugh at the Pat Sharpe chat up line now, but wait til he's using it on you!
I feel bad for the guy really. If he still had his mullet then people wouldnt have been the least bit interested in anything else about him. A mullet hides a multitude of sins, including sexually deviant tendencies. Gary Glitter would have benefited immensely from one.

'A guy came up to me on the street and said 'sorry I thought you were someone else'. I answered 'I am'.'
Im crying, never heard that one! He never comes out with anything that good on that channel 4 show he does. I always like his little songs, reminds me a bit of that Bo Burnham guy.

I never get bored of the pope 'attack', its brilliant. I can guarantee that at least 80% of people who carried on taking pictures and filming were thinking 'this is going to make the best facebook album EVER' while they were doing it. I wish Id been there so I could point at him & shout 'You fell over, you fell over!' at him.
I also hope that one day 'pope-felling' will become a recognised sport.

I bow down to the person that made that thread. Not simply because he is insane, but because the site he linked me to is the best thing Ive seen in ages.
On the 'Celtic Faerie Teachings' site there's a link to artwork. And when I clicked on it I found this little gem: 'Duncan'
But yes, reply to it! Have a huge rant about how faeries have taken over your garden shed & repeatedly steal food out of your bird feeder... & then maybe put something about leaving rat poison out for them.

Check out his other threads as well, in one entitled 'Feel our love. We are love. Extend to it' he claims to actually be god. Its most pleasing.

Originally posted by Deaf Alien
People who ask me if I can read braille.

You should have said : No, but I can see an idiot:

And people really wonder if you can drive? And people wonder why I have such little faith in humanity...


I mean, are people really stupid enough to think that being deaf affects your eyesight? Just wow....

reply to post by Bluebelle


There is nothing worse than a smart arsed goldfish! My brother had a goldfish that committed suicide/escaped. One day he went to feed it and it was gone from its tank and seeing as the tank was next to an open window is would seem that it either jumped to its death or made a daring escape. I lean towards escape because we never found the body. My brother was outsmarted by a goldfish

That's not nearly as bad as our pet hamster who faked his own death in order to escape, but that's another story.

Haha, oh you are evil! Although if I was a badass drugs baron with terminal cancer I would be pretty wound up about it, so I'll forgive your mums innocent naivety

I'm not going to lie, even after what you have told me about him, I still reckon I would fall into his arms. Amazing chat up line or not. But I'm guessing he would more likely use the line 'Get your coat...I've got a knife' Gary Glitter could be President of the world right now if he had a mullet, instead he chose to go in the complete opposite direction and go bald. What was he thinking? That's his greatest crime in my opinion.

I love Demetri, his program isn't that great but the vids on Youtube are awesome. Steven Wright and Mitch Hedberg are rather funny too.

As long as 'pope felling' remains an underground sport I'm all for it. I would hate to see another fringe sport like 'naked midget custard wrestling' or 'bare knuckle chimp fighting' get ruined by the main stream. Haha, chanting at the pope, that would be brilliant. "Who are ya, who are ya"......"Who's the wa*ker in the robe, who's the wa*keeeeeeer in the robe"
In all fairness he got up pretty sharply for an 82 year old, maximum respect.

I have read through the thread and browsed some of his others and something is troubling me.

One of his links takes me to some silly song on YouTube. In the comments section it appears that this DarkCyrus has commented on said video. However, clicking his YouTube name takes me to this video on his homepage:

www.youtube.com.../a/u/0/qDuJ3RRHQsI

Cashis - Run Dis Sh*t - Eh?

Surely this cannot be the same DarkCyrus

Should I approach him with this evidence?

That fairy stuff is mind numbingly hilarious. A gnome with a giraffe, outstanding! If I had a penny for everytime somebody claimed to be God on ATS......





[edit on 05/08/2009 by LiveForever8]

reply to post by LiveForever8


Haha, how odd, something very similar happened with my brothers goldfish! Except he found the fish underneath a radiator which had been on all day. Unfortunately I hadnt been born so I never got to see the poor shrivelled fish!
I also had a hamster that pretended to be dead. Was actually cold & stiff, and then it randomly came back to life half an hour after I found it and it went INSANE. It just ran round in a circle for about half hour before retreating to its house. Poor little hammy was never the same again.

That is one of the best chat up lines ever! However, I have been honored with being on the recieving end of an even more harrowing chat up line. I was visiting my friend in birmingham and whilst on a night out one of his friends who Id never spoken to before came up to me and said - 'Havent you been raped yet?!'
I was in awe, what a hero!

Gary Glitter didnt go bald, his hair just slipped down onto his chin.

"Who are ya, who are ya"......"Who's the wa*ker in the robe, who's the wa*keeeeeeer in the robe"

I think I need to add this to my lifetime to-do list - 'Go to the vatican and heckle the pope'.
Yea he did get up pretty quickly, although he didnt turn out to be some ninja/yoda type pope which I was upset about. I would have loved to seem him just karate chop anyone who came near him.

Faerie worship and gangsta rap.. sure, why not. I can definately see those two interests going well together.
Have you seen this video? - 'Onyx - Purse Snatchaz'
Thats messed up, I hate creepy cartoons.

Id be slightly cautious about questioning him. If you pee him off there's every chance you might become a victim of a drive-by.. or even worse, he might sprinkle you with some cursed faerie dust!

This thread is by far my favourite. ATS should give him some sort of award for this stuff.

[edit on 14/1/10 by Bluebelle]

reply to post by Bluebelle


is that silver or lithium in your background pics ?
I can't tell...

reply to post by The Utopian Penguin


Im not at liberty to say. Why do you ask?

reply to post by Bluebelle


Ah chat up lines - I got a billion!

But the only only that works (and by works means drinks down and into a taxi) is unspoken.

I make eye contact, I strut, without missing a beat I simultaneously lick their face (a real lick, chin to eye every time) and grab their ass - the great ass grab that well I can't explain.

Always make sure you know where the exits are just in case!

reply to post by Now_Then


doesn't matter what chat up line you use.
it matters who's throwing them.

Originally posted by Bluebelle
reply to post by The Utopian Penguin

 

Im not at liberty to say. Why do you ask?

Penguins are attracted to shiny objects and live near water.
silver is a good investment but,oxidizes readily.

[edit on 14-1-2010 by The Utopian Penguin]

[edit on 14-1-2010 by The Utopian Penguin]

Originally posted by The Utopian Penguin
reply to post by Now_Then

 

doesn't matter what chat up line you use.
it matters who's throwing them.

Yhea baby!

reply to post by Bluebelle


Haha, my conclusion is that all of the flying fish in the world are escaped pet goldfish, and with all daring escapes there comes casualties. I hope he didn't waste it, after all it was probably already half cooked, waste not want not and all that

Ahh, poor sod, he was probably upset you didn't fall for his act. Here is one of my replies from that Dead celebrities that are now Alive thread:

"Back when I was a little whipper snapper I had a lovely little pet hamster, 'Hammy'. One day I went to get him out of his cage only to discover he was dead. Tears were obviously shed but once I had negotiated the possibility of a new hamster, 'Hammy 2', we got on with the funeral arrangements.

My brother and I placed Hammy in one of my mums old wooden jewelery boxes and buried him in our back garden. That was the end of that. Until a couple of weeks later that is.

Curiosity got the better of us both and we decided to dig little Hammy up. We were young boys and wanted to see what a hamster skeleton would look like, who wouldn't?

We dug up the wooden jewelery box and tentatively opened the lid. Nothing. The box was completely empty.

We came to the conclusion that Hammy had faked his own death in a daring escape attempt. Held his little breath and patiently waited till dark to somehow burrow his way out. David Blaine style.

Anyways, this thread has thrown up some interesting possibilities and I have informed my brother. The case has been reopened "



Goodness gracious me, that's an absolute doozy! I hope you did what any young woman would have done and instantly whisked him off to your love nest. And they say that romance is dead

Legend with big hair
Bald Paedophile

The hair is the key!

'Go to the vatican and heckle the pope'

Just added it to my list, right underneath "Meet David Dickinson. Punch David Dickinson."

That video is harrowing! Cartoons are meant to be fun

On second thoughts I don't think I will approach him. Gangsta rap, violent cartoons and cursed faerie dust, no thanks!

reply to post by Now_Then


Woah, woah, woah! You cant lick someones face! Maybe their ankle.. but not the face. Rape/general threats of violence = good. Depositing your saliva on someones face = bad

However, I do like the originality here, keep up the good work.

reply to post by The Utopian Penguin


Ahh yes I see. Silvers a bitch to clean though!


reply to post by LiveForever8


They really are. My friend used to have one that would attempt to break free of its watery prison, but couldnt jump high enough. It was fascinating, I used to comment on its efforts like I was judging at some olympic diving competition. It got marked out of 10 for 1. The height it got to 2. originality 3. The approach, and 4. The splash factor when it fell back in. It never got higher than 25.

Before I comment on the obvious conspiracy here, Id like to say that you cry way too much, man up the temptation to post harrowing youtube videos to make you wail is getting too much to bear!
But yes anyway - why havent you made a thread concerning this? Your hamster was clearly mirroring the resurrection of Jesus.
Either that or maybe there was some druggie peeking over the fence whilst the funeral was taking place, saw the jewellry box, thought you were burying treasure and so decided to come back later. Then when they dug it up they only found the dead hamster, but decided that a deceased hamster was better than nothing and so took it.
Although your own theory is very interesting also. Have you considered circulating photos of the hamster round the world to see if there's been any sightings?

My hamster could well have been attention seeking in its fake death/comatose state. A few months before that happened she managed to pop one of her eyes out from putting too much food in her cheeks. Was such a nice thing for a 11 year old to see. It had the desired effect though, when I told my friends they all wanted to come round and see it for themselves.

Gary Glitter had so much volume in his hair! Actually it probably all ended up on his chin due to his hair fleeing in sheer terror from the amount of products he must have used to make it so large and bushy.

I could have hooked you up with David Dickinson a few months ago! My friend did some work experience on bargain hunt last year.. turns out David Dickinson doesnt actually bathe in ronseal. Big disappointment.

Im glad you've decided not to approach him. Although I would suggest purchasing a bullet proof vest just in case he sees this thread.

This has zero relevance to anything, but can people please consider this -

'Party in my pants'

You can buy this for your toddler AND your baby. The amount of awkward turtles flying around if you dressed your child in this would be unreal!

Originally posted by Bluebelle
reply to post by Now_Then

 

Woah, woah, woah! You cant lick someones face! Maybe their ankle.. but not the face. Rape/general threats of violence = good. Depositing your saliva on someones face = bad

However, I do like the originality here, keep up the good work.

Of course I am obliged to state that I do indeed keep it up.

But I'm confuddled....

A more or less direct statement of either rape of violence vs what is actually less than a kiss???

In terms of. shall we say fluid transfer??? - I think a lick is like a cute kiss, a kiss but one like one that missed! - So often an earlobe is thrust before me milliseconds after my foolproof approach... Most often is their fav part of their neck for kissing.. I like anything that leads around to the back of the neck

Perfume tastes yucky... Always too much perfume,,,,

reply to post by Now_Then


NT,do you think that your the first drunken guy in a bar desperate enough to lick a girl's face or other exposed parts,thinking that it's cute ?
You know that the bird flu can kill you right ?

One of my favorites has always been ...glancing across the room till she holds your attention with her gaze and smiles.

Then you get up,stumble over and say ...HI ... I love the way the light bounces off your forehead, mind if I sit next to you so i'm not blinded by your countenance.





[edit on 14-1-2010 by The Utopian Penguin]

reply to post by Bluebelle


Haha, that's a top notch scoring system, 'splash factor' The problem the fish have is their 6 second memory. How are they meant to improve their technique? They can't ever take your advice on board because they have almost instantly forgotten it, it's a crying shame, not that I'm crying......

I can't help being an emotional being Oh great, look what you've gone and done. It's better than being dead inside

Gets me every time

Haha, only time will tell. Imagine a post apocalyptic world were those left worshiped a hamster - Hammianity. And it's main religious opponent was a group of people who worshiped a lamb - Islamb

I love the idea that 'some druggie' was peeking over my fence watching a hamster funeral. Where do you think I live, Chatsworth Estate? Although after my 'zombie hamster' theory it's the best one yet. Unfortunately Hammy was camera shy so there are no pictures, I did however draw Hammy and post it round town. Sadly I was young and my artistic abilities at the timedidn't stretch beyond colouring in (damn you Neil Buchanan!) so Hammy looked more like a weasel/badger.

A few months before that happened she managed to pop one of her eyes out from putting too much food in her cheeks.

I just coughed orange juice all over my laptop! That is absolutely amazing. I'm beginning to think your hamster was an early warning of programs like Britains Got Talent were people are so desperate for recognition they will do anything...including popping an eye It could also have been a warning about obesity.

I think your hamster was somewhat of a prophet, move over Nostradamus. I hope you charged your friends for the pleasure? 50p a go should have been the going rate at age 11. Mime is money!

Only a girl could look at a picture of Gary Glitter and comment on the volume of his hair His hair wasn't the only thing running away from him in terror - too much?

I didn't want to hook up with him, right hook him maybe, you make it sound like I want him as my lover. Haha, ronseal. David Dickinson - Does exactly what it says on the tin...(if the tin says 'Acts like a eccentric tw*t)

Bullet proof vests are ten a penny, where on gods green earth am I going to get a faerie dust proof jacket!?

Originally posted by The Utopian Penguin
reply to post by Now_Then

 

NT,do you think that your the first drunken guy in a bar desperate enough to lick a girl's face or other exposed parts,thinking that it's cute ?
You know that the bird flu can kill you right ?

Bird flu ain't killed me yet... I got more chance of expiring in a 70's disco fever... Really

Originally posted by The Utopian Penguin
One of my favorites has always been ...glancing across the room till she holds your attention with her gaze and smiles.

Then you get up,stumble over and say ...HI ... I love the way the light bounces off your forehead, mind if I sit next to you so i'm not blinded by your countenance.

Waaaayyy too slow, think about it, you need to get the both of you back into the room so the magic can keep on loving

Forehead?? Countenance?? Dude no! never mention the slapping great personality on the forehead you are trying to pull!! Big ass mistake.. Talk about their toes, of their misgivings about life... Anything that will get you away from the massive klingon forehead!

- Stay away from anything ever anything everything that lies betwixt you, the sheets and the sweet sweet wine.

reply to post by Now_Then


You realize I'm talking about attractive,intelligent woman with money or even the bonus facet of having business es es or jobs right ?

Then again,what do I know about picking up drunken woman.
I just relax,have fun and let them do the picking up.
I nary have to bat an "eye",more than once that is. lol

reply to post by Now_Then


It probably a case of each to their own here, but yes, when it comes to threats of rape, violence or both vs licking someones face, the rape/violence combo wins everytime!

The neck is always a winner, but not when used on a complete stranger.


reply to post by LiveForever8


Thats no excuse! I gave that fish helpful feedback and if it didnt take my advice due to have short term memory issues then that isnt my problem. The fish did get slightly better over time though, but it just wasnt good enough.

Ben! Oh that song confuses me... what was so wrong with little ben? Did he have hygiene issues? Why did MJ like him so much?
Actually thats another thing, I bet you cried at MJ's funeral didnt you?
I have proof that Im not dead inside - I nearly cried with happiness twice today, the first time when I found a skirt in Topshop that Id been looking for for AGES, and Ive been to Frankie & Bennies tonight and they let me have a balloon. Im a very happy camper.

Well druggies have to be doing something apart from taking drugs! Peeking in on hamster funerals sounds like a good laugh.
Your hamster does sound very suspicious. Its not often you get a camera shy hamster. Another of my many hamsters 'crumpet' used to actually show off in front of the camera. I'll bet your hamster is currently on a tropical island with Elvis & MJ spending its days listening to reggae music and drinking rum.

Yea apart from the mild terror I experienced at the sight of the eye casually hanging out it was pretty good. She wasnt even bothered either! I think she was quite happy actually, that way she could carry more food round. Best one-eyed, severely brain damaged hamster ever.
I charged my friends in sweets and chocolate. Which I of course split with the hamster.

Haha that picture is very pleasing. Jokes that involve Gary G can never get too inappropriate!

There's a very thin line between love and hate. I would have the utmost respect for you if you did the right thing and admitted your love for David Dickinson. And Im also interested to know why you're so displeased with him, did he give you a bad valuation on your hamster coffin/jewellry box?

reply to post by Bluebelle


Your fish = Jedward......

The fish did get slightly better over time though, but it just wasnt good enough.

Michael loved Ben, end of. Ben would never break MJ's heart and that's what mattered. And if you must know I did cry at the news. I was on my way back home from a Kasabian gig when my brother told me. My brother is an absolutely MASSIVE Michael Jackson fan so it was tough. Especially considering I had TWO tickets to go and see him at the O2!

Yer, I take it back, your not dead inside. I have been looking for a jacket from River Island for weeks that sold out, devastated. If you see a navy blue military style buttoned jacket let me know!

Sweets and chocolate, of course! Everyone was happy! I love it when a plan comes together.

I'm glad that joke wasn't too much, there should be no such ting as too much as long as Gary Glitter jokes are involved.

A family friend went to his show when he was in town and it turned out he was a horrible person. An absolute drama queen, and rude to boot! My hamster box is priceless, anyone who says anything less is a fool!