What is Your Number 1 Pet hate?

reply to post by Bluebelle




I have to admit that I've also been involved in such drunken frivolities, there is something about the bright lights of McDonalds that highly intoxicated people are drawn to. Like a moth to the flame.

Then when some man shouted out of his window at us, we ran away screaming 'its the burger king, he's trying to kill us'.

Haha, nice. That' one match up I would love to see. The Burger King .Vs. Ronald McDonald, winner takes it all. I'm just the same with my phone too. Waking up and seeing the embarrassing texts you sent to people, a friend of mine is notorious for it. The other night he set a new record; 16 texts, 8 missed calls and 4 voice messages, all to the same girl in the space of an hour or so. He remembers nothing.

And yes, it appears you are a meatoholic. Get help

Haha, that reminds me of the genius of Spinal Tap:

Marty DiBergi: David St. Hubbins... I must admit I've never heard anybody with that name.
David St. Hubbins: It's an unusual name, well, he was an unusual saint, he's not a very well known saint.
Marty DiBergi: Oh, there actually is, uh... there was a Saint Hubbins?
David St. Hubbins: That's right, yes.
Marty DiBergi: What was he the saint of?
David St. Hubbins: He was the patron saint of quality footwear.



Very true, call me a cynic but I'm guessing that most tattoo artists aren't PhD's in foreign languages. I'm guessing quite a few of them even struggle with English from time to time.

I only have 'love' and 'hat' because I'm missing a finger. It's a good job I love hats otherwise it might seem stupid Funnily enough I have 'Live Forever' on my wrist, what did you get done? A paw print you say? That's not too bad surely. It's not like she had 'your name here' written across her left buttock cheek. Still, I feel sorry for her, paw girl......

reply to post by LiveForever8


Oh yes definately, macdonalds is like a lighthouse to the inebriated. Doesnt help that its a 5 minute walk from my student union either. I think the best trip has to be one that resulted in my old flatmate falling in a bush:

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/0237137746f0.jpg[/atsimg]

I would hate to go up against Ronald Macdonald, he's terrifying! Definately not fan of clowns. Especially one's that lure people in with mcflurries & various other treats.

Luckily, because the phone Ive had for the past few months is a nightmare to use, when Im under the influence of alcohol I just dont have sufficient control over the motor skills needed to use it. If I manage to send any texts they usually comprise of a single word, usually 'where', 'what' or 'whom'. And if Ive somehow managed to put predictive text on (absolute mystery as to how that happens because I can seem to get it on when Im sober) then it ends up being some random word like 'banana'.

Haha, patron saint of quality footwear, I like it.. So many little known saints out there!

'Paw girl'.. oh dear, you should be a comedian
It wouldnt be too bad if she could cover it up, but she has to wear her hair up for work so everyone can see it. It wont look good in 50 years when she has a blue rinse & a perm.
Ive got two tattoos on my back. I would say they're stars, but that makes it sound like they look like those ridiculous star tattoos that everyones getting these days, and they arent. Difficult to describe what they look like, but I drew them myself so at least I wont be walking round one day and see someone with the exact same tattoo!
Ah, a tattoo on the wrist, isnt it meant to be ridiculously painful getting one there?

reply to post by Bluebelle


Haha, that picture is brilliant. What's even better is that it looks as if there could be three different people in there! Somebody's arm, another persons head and someone else's legs.

Clowns, yer not a fan. I mean, when we get down to brass tacks what we have is a man who constantly dresses as a clown, has friends called Mayor McCheese(I have never seen any official documentation he is a Mayor), the Hamburglar(should be in prison), Grimace, Birdie the Early Bird, and The Fry Kids. He spends his days enticing children into his domain with cheaply made toys and unhealthy food packed full of additives which ensures they will return. By night he switches his attention to intoxicated young adults, robbing them of their loose change and, as they drop burger all down themselves, their dignity.

Yer, I'm not too bad with the phone really. Although predictive text has landed me in a few dodgy positions from time to time.

Yer, maybe I could be a comedian! All through my life people have always laughed at me ...Oh wait...

I suppose so. Not being able to hide it would be a pain.

Yer, yer, come on admit it. You jumped on the 'I'm getting a star tattoo' bandwagon didn't you? Sheeple I suppose drawing your own gives you a bit more credit than all the other bandwagon jumpers, fair doos.

It wasn't that painful really but I haven't got any other tattoos to compare it to. Plus I was distracted by all the photos of the tattoo artists naked wife all over the walls! It was over in about 5 minutes though, I was the last appointment of the day and I think he wanted to get home to his lovely wife as soon as possible. I'm getting another one soon.

reply to post by LiveForever8


Haha, that was the exact same thought I had when I first saw the photo.
The guy is like 6ft 3 though so that probably explains it. If Id fallen in that bush they'd probably have to send a search party in after me!

Such an extensive knowledge on macdonalds characters.. im impressed.
However, your knowledge appears to be lacking with regards to Mayor McCheese. Documentation confirming his role as mayor does exist, but he has no authority outside of McdonaldLand.
I believe that if Mayor McCheese were taken more seriously as a politician, his policies on immigration would have a chance of catching on.

And apart from Ronald Mcdonald generally being a terrifying individual, he is also a hypocrite. He pretends that his diet consists of nothing but mcdonalds, yet he isnt a pound overweight, and Ive yet to see him keel over from a heart attack due to sky high cholesteral levels.

I detest stars. I avoid any type of attire that had stars on it, it always reminds me of teenagers on myspace doing the classic 'myspace pose'. Shudder. Actually, I'll change my description to them looking more like a sun. They dont really look like those either but they're less offensive then stars.

5 minutes for a tattoo! You must have some sort of speed-tattooist on the job, mine took 45 mins & 2 hours, and they're only tiny little things.
I get so tempted to get another one sometimes, but I have a deep-seated fear that I'll resemble some sort of butch lesbian if I get too many!

reply to post by Bluebelle


Haha, personally I believe it was your shabby attempt at discarding of the body of your latest victim. After removing his torso to feed your blood lust you had no need of his meatless limbs and head. As for the suicide note you super glued to his hands, I don't think the authorities are going to believe it.

Some good evidence there, I'll give you that. However the fact that is seems he is 'Mayor for life' leads me to believe there is corruption afoot! I agree with you about his policy on immigration. Teleportation, seems so obvious now

Religion: McJesus

If you go in the Religion section with 'st anthony patron saint of bacon' I'll go in there with McJesus

He's a definite liar that's for sure. That Morgan Spurlock chap could barely handle 30 days eating an all McDonald's diet so Ronald has to be lying. The sad part is he doesn't have to lie, I sure wouldn't think any less of him if he had the odd lasagna or beans on toast.

I hope you aren't talking about the stars in the sky when you say you detest stars. Or Ringo Starr. Or Stars In Their Eyes! Any other stars of any form I don't care much for though.

First it's a star then it's a sun but not really a sun. Stars are suns anyway aren't they? Confused.com.

I'm beginning to think that I may have passed out during it, had a dream about the tattooists naked wife and then woke up 40 minutes later believing only 5 minutes had passed.

Haha, I can't imagine you being mistook for a butch lesbian, even with a few more tattoos. I should know, I went to a lesbian wedding once, I felt way out of my depth! Here's the one I reckon I'm getting next, either on my arm or maybe my ankle.

reply to post by LiveForever8


How did you know?! That was supposed to be kept on the down low. Whoever told you is going to meet a very violent end at the hands of my electric knife. Well, unless they run away, the cord's only 15 inches long.

Im intrigued by this secret portal business. I might try and organise a caving expedition to find this magical land. Im sure if I advertised for team members in the skunkworks forum I would have more than enough willing volunteers.

I love McJesus! The picture entitled 'A McJesus restaurant about to be created' is simply stunning. I really want them to add a quote saying 'And God said unto them.. let there be happy meals!'.
Spreading the word of meat products sounds like a wonderful idea, but you do realise that St Anthony & McJesus dont get along too well dont you? St Anthony has always felt that the Mcdonalds menu doesnt incorporate enough bacon. And the introduction of vegetarion options coupled with the refusal to make a bacon flavoured mcflurry has made communications between the two parties strained, to say the least.

That uncyclopedia site is most pleasing. So much stuff on there to enlighten ATS about, e.g. Aliens
I think I might contribute a page about light beings, as the closest thing they appear to have on it is 'cloud beings'.

As my description skills are quite frankly awful, I have digged up possibly the only picture in existence of my tattoos.. well, one of the tattoos anyway:

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/581d49875a0f.jpg[/atsimg]

Never underestimate the power of the tattoo. It only takes one mis-spelt word, chinese symbol or cartoon character to make someone look like a complete turnip.. so imagine the power of 3+ of them!
That tattoo looks good, in my (not so) expert opinion Id say get it on your arm instead of ankle. Apparantly tattoos round the foot/ankle area fade ridiculously quickly, and murky green is just not a nice colour! Unless your going for that severe fungal infection look of course.

reply to post by Bluebelle


Loving the new avatar. One minute you were there, the next......that thing! Thriller style!

I am not at liberty to divulge my sources at this present time. And I don't think you are in any position to be making such threats, 15 inch long cord or not

I was once told by a wise old Eskimo mystic I met in a strip club that such portals reside in the North Pole. Apparently entering this portal takes you to the inside of the earth where McDonaldland is. He informed me that Adolf Hitler did indeed escape Germany and made his way to the North Pole where he discovered one such portal. He started a new life under the guise of Adolf 'Hamburglar' Hitler and lived out the rest of his life in relative peace.

In fact it was Adolf (the failed artist) who was commissioned to draw McMap. Notice how his house resembles a tank?

Did you know there was a McDonalds video game? I actually owned that once! Brainwashing much?

McJesus is 'da man'. That picture is genuinely amazing, I'd like to see some of the maniacs on here try and debunk that!

"....and on the third day He reheated the burgers and no one didst know."



Hmm, that seems like a potential problem. I'll give Saint Hubbins a call and see if he could possibly mediate. I'm sure he would say it's a shoo-in.

Haha, this site in fast becoming a favourite of mine.

On This Day......

- 1968 - Napalm dropped on a Vietnamese Hemp field. This begins the largest spread of the munchies known to man.
- 1979 - Pac-Man is admitted to rehab after a white pellet addiction. "Gotta run from teh gh0sts!!!1!one" - Pac-Man
- 1979 - Disco dies of a drug overdose.

I really like your tattoo, not too over the top. Does it have colour in it? I cant tell from that picture.

I was leaning towards my arm, possibly the inner forearm, we'll see.



[edit on 05/08/2009 by LiveForever8]

reply to post by LiveForever8


Haha! Yea.. thought Id mix it up a bit & put something else up. It scares people, and makes any sly comments Ive had on my last avatar look like the person who's commented is really weird

Aww, bless hitler bringing in something to remind him of home!
Screw going to the north pole though, Id rather get a teaspoon out and start digging! It may take 50 years to get down there, but if I get to see Hitler frolicking through a meadow singing 'the sound of music' theme tune then it will most definately be worth it!

As if there was a video game! I like the end of game glitch. At least if you were crap at it you wouldnt have to suffer the vicious circle of wondering what might have been, low self esteem, depression.. and then ultimately self harming.

Ive actually become the worlds biggest saddo and have started on a light beings page. Im concoting a little story about how the light beings aided Thomas Edison during the invention of the lightbulb. With pictures of him with said light being. Well, a light being drawn with a white brush in paint. I think its going to be a masterpiece once its finished!

Yea I tried not to get anything that too insane.. Nah, there's no colour in it, just black. I was going to get colour in it but I didnt fancy having to go back every couple of years to have it redone where its faded.. plus, depending on what colour I would have chosen, it could well have clashed with whatever I was wearing. Fashion suicide!

*Edit - Im considering maybe sacking off the inventing angle, and saying Thomas Edison stole the light beings life essence.. oo the possibilites!

[edit on 10/1/10 by Bluebelle]

reply to post by Bluebelle


Haha. You've had sly comments?

I would recommend using a table spoon seeing as it takes 3 teaspoons to make 1 tablespoon you could get there in 15 years if your quick about it. I don't think Hitler could 'frolic' if his life depended on it but apparently he had the voice of an angel. He's won every series of McDonaldland's Got Talent, although all of his opponents did die under "suspicious circumstances".

They could have made the glitch a little less simple. Pressing 'start' and 'select' at the same time, no imagination. But your right I suppose, many lives have been saved. Three cheers for McDonalds! Hip, hip......

If you need any help with the light beings page I'm willing to chip in. I hope you mention Nikola Tesla who in my opinion sh#ts all over Edison. For example:

"Tesla lived the last ten years of his life in a two-room suite on the 33rd floor of the Hotel New Yorker, room 3327. There, near the end of his life, Tesla showed signs of encroaching mental illness, claiming to be visited by a specific white pigeon daily. Several biographers note that Tesla viewed the death of the pigeon as a "final blow" to himself and his work."

I put it to you that this white pigeon was a light being manifested in pigeon form and was the driving force behind all of Tesla's genius. Edison was just a poster boy.

I don't like colour tattoos. Good old trusty black ink should suffice for anyone

reply to post by LiveForever8


Yes, sly comments... made even more sly by the fact that I dont look a day over 12 in my other avatar.
However, my new avatar is having the desired effect, Ive had two U2U's already commenting on the hideousness of it.
Although I am quite upset that there has been no mention of the skirt. I made that myself for a 'minnie mouse' fancy dress outfit and not a single person had commented on the exquisite workmanship.

Oh hitler can definately frolic, I specifically remember a documentary that was on last year that documented hitlers little known dancing achievements. They even hinted that Hitlers mental issues stemmed from a failed audition for swan lake. Such a waste of talent.

Yes if you have any contributions to make they are more than welcome!
Judging by the extensive Tesla page on there, and the apparant feud with Thomas Edison, I think I have no choice but to include him! Nikola "Mr. T" Tesla
The white pigeon/light being theory is very interesting, and certainly would explain a lot. I believe I have managed to deduce this light being masquerading as a pigeons favourite nesting spot as well, which appears to be none other than Nikola Tesla's hair. Or maybe it was just a result of his deteriorating mental condition. Either way theres simply no excuse for sporting such an unattractive hairstyle.

[edit on 11/1/10 by Bluebelle]

reply to post by Bluebelle


I don't blame them to be honest it is pretty horrid! Pretty horrid? Does that make sense?

The skirt is truly splendid! I must however point out that no matter how splendid it it, and it really is, it is wasted on such a foul looking monster. Are those cataract glasses?

Come to think about it I also heard that story about Hitlers failed audition. Apparently he turned to drink and spent most nights at the local lake ranting and raving at the swans. I mean, what type of maniac gets drunk and shouts at swans?

I'll have to up my research efforts and get back to you with my findings. Edison .Vs. Tesla, the very first celebrity feud. That pigeon is definitely the key! As for the nesting site theory...I'm not too sure. It looks a bit too neat for a nesting site - light being in disguise or no light being in disguise. However it does look like Moses might have stopped by to provide that parting in his hair. I have to agree that it looks rather unsightly. He may have been a genius but I still reckon Gok Wan could teach him a thing or two.

Another pet hate......

People who finish their posts by saying "That's just my 2 cents" or the even lazier option of simply "$0.02"

This sentence is to prevent me becoming a hypocrite

reply to post by LiveForever8


Thankyou that skirt is the single best thing to come out of my university experience. Nothing will ever match up to the joy that skirt has brought me.
I think pretty horrid makes sense. As long as pretty = the skirt and hideous = the general face area.
I couldnt say for definate what they are. Those, the mask and headphones were the treasures we found when raiding our portugese flatmates room. He was a very strange boy so they could well have been cataract glasses.
Not that I have any right to be calling anyone strange though, prancing round in a minnie mouse skirt, shirt from a nana's fancy dress party & various other paraphernalia.

Haha, shouting at swans, indeed.. what sort of mentally deranged being does such a thing!

Unfortunately the picture you have presented showing the parting being created has been tampered with. Moses was indeed present at this significant event in the history of hair, but he was merely there to tempt the white pigeon to come to his aid. And henceforth, the lights beings & Nikola Tesla were firm friends.

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/8186ab79eccf.jpg[/atsimg]

As you can clearly see, moses is definately not performing any kind of miracle. He is merely trying to attract the white pigeons attention, before tempting him with a hovis 'great white' loaf.. and a baguette.
Moses did have various other bread products, but apparantly the jews got hungry. Nightmare.

Oh yes, and something remotely on topic - I hate those people that do the 2 cents thing when they arent even living in a country that uses that as a form of currency!
Although I suppose 'thats my 1.63777 pence' doesnt just have the same ring to it.




[edit on 11/1/10 by Bluebelle]

reply to post by Bluebelle


Haha, I can only hope that I finish my university experience with such a magnificent garment to show for it. Maybe some jazzy socks? I better get knitting!

Pretty (skirt) horrid (face)....yer, that sounds ok

I think it's a bit harsh to label someone strange just because he suffers from a medical problem that is very much out of his hands. Having said that he is Portuguese so all bets are off. Yes, you lost your right to call him strange the moment you dressed up like that.

Oh right, the one I presented had been tampered with Sorry. But yes, it has all become clear to me now. Moses is merely acting as a conduit between the white pigeon and Tesla. Using the 'great white' loaf is an absolute necessity as the white pigeon would be unresponsive to a brown loaf. Apparently they attract the white pigeons evil nemesis. These crows harbour 'shadow beings' that seek to spread fear and destruction. My guess is that Moses would use the baguette as some kind of weapon to warn off any crows that tried to meddle in his affairs.

Yes! Very true. I must have seen it said hundreds of times but I have never actually seen any money change hands. ATS must be one of the wealthiest websites in the world considering the amount of times people have given their 2 cents. It all adds up.

P.S.
I'm guessing that you didn't have the unbelievable good luck to stumble across that picture whilst casually browsing Google Images. It's borderline genius. Kudos to you!






[edit on 05/08/2009 by LiveForever8]

[edit on 05/08/2009 by LiveForever8]

I genuinely have another to add now.

The men overheard section in 'more' magazine... and more specifically my annoyance that its only ever 1 page long. This problem has been highlighted by a xmas special they've done, spanning a whole 3 pages

A few examples of the sheer brilliance of it:

Man 1: Are you afraid of horses?
Man 2: Yeah, I am, I don't know why but I always feel close to death when I'm around them.
Overheard by Lizzy on bus in Woking

Man: Is that one of those rare minature cats?
Girl: No, it's a kitten.
Said by Tom to Andi in Gateshead

Man: It's expensive in here.
Girl: Yeah, they should wear black and white striped jumpers.
Man: Why? Do you think they're Newcastle fans too?
Said by Harry to Kirsty in Chorley




reply to post by LiveForever8


Socks? Pssh, socks are for losers! I vote that you make a tea cosy.

In my defence, the mask etc did belong to him.. I would never have purchased such a thing myself! Actually, we're still in the dark about why he had it in the first place. Probably a prop for one of his weird sex games.

Im glad you've realised your mistake, do not trust sites with the word 'God' in the title.
I obtained that picture from a ridiculously top secret nasa page. It turns out that nasa has been operating since around 1500BC, and their satellite cameras can actually see in enough detail to determine which brand of bread a jew is carrying.
Although if they ever admit this the whole 'moses parting the hair' story goes right out the window, since they would be forced to answer the rumours of the white pigeon. Plus, moses would be in some trouble if he was found to be withholding food from the masses.
Ahh, the shadow beings.. its all starting to come together now! I wonder if Peter Pain is listed in the phonebook, I'd like to speak to him regarding the drama he had with one.

I have another picture that I believe will shock you to your very core. Make sure you're sitting down when you look at it:

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/1ec231f02448.jpg[/atsimg]

Einstein! With pigeons!
Admittedly, they arent white pigeons, but the one on the right looks like some genetically engineered light being/common pigeon type thing. Who knew that Einstein would be in on the whole thing too.

ATS should demand that people link their accounts to their banks, that way everytime someone says '2 cents' or '500000000 rupees' they can automatically deduct it. They probably will have to resort to that soon, they cant be making much money off the merchandise!

reply to post by Bluebelle


What you said about the section in More magazine reminded me of some topic of discussion on some LFC forum a friend sent me. Without sounding sexist it was about the stupid things women say. Here are a few......

"My friend asked her boyfriend if it was the top or bottom half of Heathers Mills' leg that she had amputated."

"A girlfriend of my mate actually thought that washing machines came with the water..."

"While watching news with my ex a reporter was wearing a bullet proof vest with 'press' written on the front as an identifier.

Then she asked 'what happens then when someone presses his vest?'"

"At a balti house in Birmingham they had goat on the menu so I asked the waitress what it was like , she thought for a moment before saying "it's like a sheep innit ,but with horns"



A female friend of mine used to think that each country had it's own sun, she was 18 at the time.

On second thought a tea cosy would be much better. They have been out of mainstream fashion for too long and could also hide my bed-head in the mornings.

I have never met this poor soul. I know nothing about his life, his personality or his bobbies. But I am going to agree and say that I am 100% sure that they were indeed used in his weird sex games

So NASA is lying! But I can understand why now, there are forces at work here that are beyond most 'un-enlightened' humans perception. May god have mercy on us all......

Peter Pan indeed. I think the only way to get to him in Neverland is by a teleportation portal, same as McDonaldland. Unfortunately this portal is located within McDonaldland, inside Hitlers bathtub to be precise. How is the digging coming along?

In fact, all countries that end in '-land' are only accessible via a portal.

- England
- New Zealand
- Switzerland
- Swaziland
- Thailand
- Scotland
- Poland
- Holland (Netherlands)
- Deutschland (germany)
- Ireland
- Iceland
- Finland
- Greenland
- Somaliland

Why do you think you need a passport(-al) to leave the country?

Einstein with pigeons! They are all in on it! That is your classic light (good) versus dark (bad) symbolism. With Einstein symbolising the 'knowledge' that separates good and bad. At least he's cradling the white pigeon, he's on our side, phew.

It's a good job too considering that the white pigeons aren't the cleverest of our feathered friends at times. This poor thing mistook his own shadow for a shadow pigeon and tried to attack it He's currently being nursed back to health by Rolf Harris.

Haha, true. I might make them some alien themed tea cosys to sell.

reply to post by LiveForever8

"While watching news with my ex a reporter was wearing a bullet proof vest with 'press' written on the front as an identifier.

Then she asked 'what happens then when someone presses his vest?'"

Amazing.

The balti house one reminds me of a menu based drama of my own. Me & my friends went to a chinese takeaway after a night out, and while I was perusing the menu after I made my order, I came across something which my alcohol soaked brain translated as being something it probably wasnt, although it was a chinese & we all know how much they like a spot of child trafficking:

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/b6aa567a0abd.jpg[/atsimg]

Additional children

Of course when I saw this I immediately tried to cancel my order and asked for two additional children instead, whilst also enquiring as to whether they were meant as a side dish or main meal.
When we eventually left (without additional children) I told everyone in the queue outside that they were selling children, and how hard it is to find a competitively priced child-selling outlet these days.

Actually, I believe the discovery of the mask was a week or two before one of our more harrowing experiences with him & his odd ways.
One night there were suspicious noises coming from his room which led us to believe he had a lady friend visiting. Thats not strange in itself, but the next morning around 10/11am someone emerged from his room..... and that person was his mother.
Now I know he could have simply shooed his lady friend off in the early hours and then his mother came to visit briefly. But, well, you have to make conclusions based on the evidence you have, dont you.

They need to get the england portal sorted asap. It seems to me that illegal aliens have managed to somehow force the portal to stay open and thus our country has become overrun with them.
Not only does this pee everyone off to the max, but its common knowledge that if a portal is kept open for too long it almost always leads to the time-space continuum being ripped to shreds.

That picture of the pigeon is terrifying.. I bet that shadow regretted attaching itself to him!
I wouldnt trust Rolf Harris as far as I could throw him. He was always so upbeat on animal hospital and never shed a tear when kittens & puppies were being put to sleep. I think he liked it. Id even go as far to say if he ever became a vet he would likely be the Harold Shipman of the animal world.

[edit on 11/1/10 by Bluebelle]

reply to post by Bluebelle




In my opinion a person is not properly drunk until they can willingly order and eat a child from a Chinese takeaway. You are the proof of that. Did you notice that they are selling 'Happy Meals' too? Happy Meals in a Chinese takeaway! Ronald McDonald strikes again!

£3 for a child, not bad, not bad at all. I think Madonna got hers for £8.50 so it's quite the bargain really.

What scares me most is that there was a queue (never spell that right first time) for a Chinese takeaway. Is this some kind of swanky up market Chinese takeaway were you need to book a table 3 years in advance?

Thats not strange in itself, but the next morning around 10/11am someone emerged from his room..... and that person was his mother.

Yes, you do have to make conclusions based on the evidence and it's quite compelling evidence too. Now I'm no Hercule Poirot and I don't wish to jump to any conclusions myself......but it's obvious to me that this young fellow was, and quite probably still is, sexually involved with his own mother. Case closed

It's true that we are all in danger. The time-space cross correlation is becoming strained and without any additional flux-capacitors to deflect the infrared gamma radiation that seeps through the portal we are surely all doomed! Bloody illegal aliens, coming here from the Blib-lobby-dob Nebula...taking our jobs!

In Rolf's defence he had to stay strong for the audiences sake. If he broke down every time an animal was put down the whole show would just consist of him crying and blowing his nose. I mean, did any animal actually survive an operation on that program?

Actual footage of an 'Animal Hospital' surgical procedure. At least Harold Shipman didn't make as much mess.

reply to post by LiveForever8


The word of Ronald Mcdonald is far reaching.. he's taking us down one culture at a time. Im terrified for the day he eliminates the traditional sunday dinner and replaces it with a happy meal.
To be fair though, I dont see whats so 'happy' about the random combination of food in this meal. Who in their right mind mixes spring rolls & crispy won tons with fried eggs & sausages?!
As for the additional child business, advertising something which you arent selling is a massive breach of trading standards regulations. I should have stood my ground until he gave me one of his own children, preferably a first born.

If a table also means 3ft wide window ledge, then yes it is rather difficult to book a table. But apart from its credit crunch busting child prices it isnt an especially nice takeaway. There was only a queue because Lincoln students are hardcore & never leave clubs until closing time. So when they do leave there's a outporing of students all heading towards takeaways, which results in something akin to being in a cattle market and/or pilgrims heading for mecca (not of the bingo variety).

Illegal immigrants are indeed taking our jobs. I cant tell you how negged I was upon finding out that my dream job of working 12 hour shifts in potato fields for 75p p/h had become unavailable due to some smelly east europeans getting there first.

ee family guy, love it! got to admit though, I was hoping you were going to link me to some behind the scenes footage of rolf skipping around in puddles of animal blood whilst wearing the skin of some poor old dear's deceased yorkshire terrier & singing 'I feel pretty'.
I worry for my mental health sometimes. I shouldnt be able to come up with stuff like that.

Also, something interesting that has just come to my attention - the OP's signature, is that what I think it is?!

reply to post by Bluebelle




Holy moly! How did we miss that for so long? I think the OP has some questions to answer. Could this thread have been created to expose us as conspirators in exposing the light beings? Trust nobody!

I can't ever see him replacing the trusty Sunday dinner, surely not. All I know is that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sit down to eat Christmas dinner and find myself confronted with some chicken nuggets and a milkshake!

I don't see what's so happy about it either. It looks to me like they have taken the leftovers of breakfast service and thrown them all together. But I suppose that if I rolled up there at 3am out of my head I would more than happily scoff it down.

We have all had that dream taken from us. I lived that very dream until I was replaced by some immigrant called Igor just because they paid him in potatoes. Two potatoes a day! I couldn't compare with that

I've heard certain rumours about Rolf. Apparently he bathes in Unicorn blood. Having hunted them into extinction he collected all their blood and keeps it in giant jars in his cellar. He claims that it gives him life enhancing powers, did you know he is actually 137 years old? It also appears that he drinks his own urine, once again believing it will make him immortal......

www.chairmanmoo.co.uk...

Veteran Australian TV presenter Rolf Harris has confessed to drinking his own urine.

Harris puts his sprightly health and glossy beard down to this ancient practice.

"I quaff it straight down, because that way you get all the goodness," reveals Rolf.

"I wouldn't stoop to eating my own poo though, I'm not dirty or 'owt," he adds, an erection clearly visible in his slacks.

Being a well respected artist, Rolf also refuses to paint unless it is with Unicorn blood.

You shouldn't worry about it. The writers of Family Guy come up with this stuff weekly and they get PAID for it!

reply to post by LiveForever8


I fear we have become the victims of some sneaky subliminal messaging. Im terrified.
I knew there was a reason that the OP was being unusually quiet considering this is his thread. In fact, I bet he's one of them. I used to find anatidaephobia amusing, but now not so much. The white pigeon form is even more terrifying when you consider the current weather conditions, there could be millions on my street at this precise moment and I would never know.

I suppose the spring roll/fried egg ensemble offered at the chinese isnt too bad if at the time of purchase you resemble one of the many splendid british citizens on 'booze britain'. Plus, the chinese happy meal will always be the preferred option than the happy meal offered at chicken cottage. The horrors that I have been presented with there will haunt me for all eternity. I think even Ronald Mcdonald would steer clear.

Haha, I like the title of that article, its straight to the point! However the words 'erection' and 'Rolf Harris' in the same article make me die a little bit inside.
Unicorn blood does indeed give life extending powers. It should also be noted that its a fabulous moisturiser.
Rolf Harris is a little older than he lets on. If you look at this article, you will see Rolf leading a celebration of his most famous work - The Mona Lisa. There is also a picture of him posing with the painting a mere 5 minutes after he finished it.
Also, if uncyclopedia is to be believed, Rolf was also the ruler of Egypt. Which, if true, takes Rolf Harris' reign of terror further back than we could ever have imagined!