What is Your Number 1 Pet hate?

MY number one hate is elitists, not the ones that control the world. The jackasses that think they know what they're doing, or think they're the best at it. It wouldn't bother me most really knew, but it seems I get on their nerves when I do what they do best better.

+Hypocrites- yup, the world is full of them.

+Wannabe spiritual gurus- trying to "teach" others, yet they are only full of ****

And QUEUES!!!! yes, I have little patience

Pet hate today - World (insert something no-one cares about) Day. Too many of them, mostly crap ones, such as...

1 Jan - Global Family Day
5 May - International Day of Families
Surely one is enough?

And their arch nemesis:

6 Jan - World Day for War Ophans - so close to Global Family Day too!

27 Jan - International Holocaust Remembrance Day - like we need reminding Also known as 'International kiss the rest of the worlds ass Day' in Germany

21 Sep - World Alzheimer's Day - one of the more forgotten days, for obvious reasons Also because it has to contend with International Day of Peace which is on the same day. I hope someone got fired for that blunder!

And lastly, the day I'm guaranteed to get laid......1 Oct - International Day of Older Persons


reply to post by Bluebelle


Can you ask your brother if he could lend me some money please? About £15,000 should suffice

Haha, I had never thought of it like that! Next time I go out I shall check what it is the world is celebrating today, I can see it now, 'I'd like everyone to raise their glasses to today......World Day of Remembrance for Traffic Victims!'

She actually said it, I felt so violated. It could have been worse though because the brown snooker ball was still on the table It is getting rather bothersome though, the novelty has just worn off completely. Are you implying that my onle chance with women is if they are either nearly dead...or dead? Thanks, I feel so much better now I don't think I could pretend, even if there was a bucket load of cash waiting for me afterward. My idea of fun is not 3 rounds of scrabble followed by Countdown and a nap.

Oh don't worry about it, they're so ditsy and hypo I dount they will knoe what's even going on, just make sure you get some pics! Maybe you could wear your hair like theirs? They did look odd without it sticking up, I didn't like it one bit. Like I said, as far as I'm concerned it never happened.

Of course they eat ants, amongst other things. Next you'll be telling me that fly's don't fly or that Lions don't lie on things
Yep, Dr K healed him immediately by rubbing some Lidl bought parsnips on Harold's testicles. True story.

Haha, yes it means 'I have blue eyes' We never got to choose our language we were just assigned one. I'm glad I got German over French though, like you say it's brilliantly aggressive. For instance, even when telling someone you love them, 'Ich liebe dich', sounds like your calling them a dick Whats the sad face for? You got a full bag of Freddos for Goodness sake! Plus you single handedly climbed a cathedral, nice one, you earned those Freddos

'If they still dont understand, smash the place up... secure in the knowledge that you tried your best'. Genius isn't it. The other bit where he goes through The Bible is also epic, I have linked it on here many times whenever some Bible basher tries to thrown verses at me

That picture is just plain wrong! Just as wrong as her mother proudly calling her daughter a slag and just as proudly blaming her sh**e parenting skills for the outcome. Haha, and that second picture explains everything! She's a real heart breaker isn't she! Why do I get the feeling that both the mother and her daughters vagina's look like a rugby players ear?

The thought of that makes me feel warm inside. Alas, I believe they found them again. I think the woppas who stole them cut them in half to try and double the price, fools. I mean, what self respecting holocaust collector buys half a sign? It would be like cutting a stolen Ferrari in half hoping for double the dosh!

I know she was! I still don't understand why I had a crush on her and the worse thing is deep down I reckon I still do :shk:

Haha, the whole thing was just cringe worthy. You couldn't go a day without her mug being all over the front of the newspapers, the same newspapers that were calling her a horrible rascist only a few months before. 'Brave Jade' - why is it when someone gets cancer they are automatically given the status of 'brave'? Argh, don't get me started! Anyways, Jack Tweed, yer good on him. A swift prison sentence and a big fat inheritance, job done

Isn't it just! Only the Germans could get away with something like that

except I got out of it by chasing the person away with a tarantula in my hand.

I order you to explain this comment immediately!
It could well have been my hair seducing him, I haven't fully ruled that out, but something tells me that it was more likely the unbelievable amount of drugs he had induced moment earlier

Haha, yer it doesn't look good does it, especially now he has deleted it
I'm impressed you have lasted this long to be honest. I had a little go today because he had just posted and I had 3 minutes to kill. I don't think you can star your own posts but maybe he is using his super alien powers? Or it could just be the other 78 million aliens there are on ATS agreeing with him

Would you dine with him? - he's not a bad looking chap I suppose, but its just not what I expected, gutted. The enigma has been ruined now.

Also, I'm in massive shock about this: To Die or Not To Die? I ruddy loved Kristian

[edit on 05/08/2009 by LiveForever8]

reply to post by LiveForever8


Nooo, all these days are brilliant! My mum had a calender a couple of years ago that actually had loads of these on it.
My favourites that I can remember were brain tumour day, toilet day, and of course alzheimers day!
And did you know that 2008 was the year of the potato?
Your statement of 'World (insert something no-one cares about) Day' is massively incorrect. I care! These days are incredibly relevant.. where would we be without a day to celebrate brain tumours!?

Woohoo, grab a bottle of sherry and a vera lynn cd & get down the old people's home!

Haha, I need about double that amount! He'd probably give me a few grand if I asked as well, although I would actually die of the guilt from owing him so much money so I shall refrain from asking for such excessive amounts. :shk:

Its wonderful, theres always something to be celebrated! There's plenty of good one's coming up this month as well if you look here. World glaucoma week, world kidney day, downsyndrome day, TB day... and not forgetting world purple day. So there's always an excuse to go out and get drunk you see.

Is there any chance this woman may have been from mansfield?
Stop being so fussy! Some men cant get any sort of women, and are reduced to socialising with their pet wolf, and irritated members of conspiracy websites. :shk:
And besides, anyone who's seen american pie will know that slinking on the elderly will gain you massive respect.

I'll probly end up going insane with the camera, taking pictures of every little thing.. pictures of doors they may have touched, rubbish that may belong to them etc.

I swear they dont eat ants! Termite's maybe.. but not ants.

Yessss, I knew it! I feel quite chuffed with myself now seeing as I havent spoken or heard a word of german for about 6 years.
I didnt get a full bag.. got like 3 in the end.
Actually the most terrifying experience of my entire life. Especially considering the last few flights of steps to the top were some hideous metal stairs/scaffolding type thing so when you looked down you just saw something which resembled a 50ft high jenga tower, that was on the verge of toppling over. Which was nice.

Im such a loser, Ive never actually seen any Ricky Gervais stuff before, but Ive just started watching one where he's on about creation and Im most pleased with it so far!

eeeee that ear is hideous. And Im quite upset now at the thought of that happening to this man.

Haha yes! I really enjoyed whenever she was praised for being 'brave'. I cant say Ive had any life threatening illnesses before, but what are you supposed to do when you've got something like that? Whether you're terrified or not theres nothing you can do about it so I didnt understand how she was brave. Surely you just have to get on with it, which she did?
I loved how everyone completely forgot about her being a massive racist. I remember a few of us talked about it before and after she died and people got so offended! Which brings me to another point - how emotional everyone got about it, like they actually knew her! I'll admit it was sad when she died, but thats because her kids were left without a mum, not because I gave a toss about her. I never really took any interest in her so why would I be bothered now? If Im going to care about someone the amount of cancer they have in their body is not really a relevant factor.

Well someone I knew vaguely, who is a lovely boy but is a bit dull sometimes, started chatting to me and we were having a nice little conversation until he started questioning me about my degree, because he graduated from the same course last year. He started asking me really indepth questions about the units I was doing etc, which is not really the sort of thing you want to be discussing at a party.
Due to me not wanting to be rude, this conversation dragged along for a few minutes until my friend came running in telling me that one of the boys who lived in the house had a room full of spiders, so we decided to investigate. Boring conversation boy came with us of course.
For some reason as soon as I saw these spiders I got all 'oooo look at the cute little things, they're wearing leg warmers!' over them. Which is odd because Im terrified of smaller spiders.. but apparantly massive spiders are okay. Logical. But yes anyway boring conversation boy told me he really hated them, so I asked the hold one.
Basically I just ended up being an awful person asking him if he wanted to stroke it, he declined so I chased him down the corridor with it.. and I didnt see much of him after that. Shame.

Im so offended that he's deleted it.. we doubled his fanbase, how dare he deny us of the right to be official fans!
He must be starring them himself, either that or someone is starring his posts a mere 20 seconds after he posts them. I clicked on the page and for some reason one of the adverts at the top had expanded & wouldnt go away, so I refreshed the page and there was a new post by him that had been starred.. and it couldnt have been posted more than 30 seconds earlier.. so it does seem like he just starred it himself because it was one of his longer posts he made as well.

He does look a strange chap, the face & personality dont match!

This is going to sound massively hypocritical after my jade rant about getting emotional over celebrities.. but this does sadden me ..partly because the pictures they've used of him look vile, and the fact that his cause of death will simply read 'misadventure', which is rather boring. He was a wonderful man though. He shouldnt have been gay. :shk:
I remember when he was first on tv I used to be really fascinated by him because of his accent, and because I couldnt figure out whether he way gay or not.
This is quite amusing though, it definately beats when Mark Speight died. Although that was only funny because we thought he'd hung himself actually on Paddington Station. We liked to imagine that he'd been casually hanging from the rafters for over a week whilst people were going about their everyday business, not realising there was a corpse just hanging above them.
Id like to know how they're going to explain his death to the elderly relatives?They will simply not understand. Saying that though, neither do I. Its nearly as strange as those people that get turned on by cars & the eiffel tower!

Oh and have you seen the comments on the story? I dont know whether Im amused or just plain worried..

'it is a real shock to the system for me. it seems to be a common sexual act both in the gay and straight people. i must say, i am upset and sad at the death of kritian. he was a vey nice chap. he will be missed by many including myself. rest in peace.'

Its a common act? What?

'I love him! I can't stop crying, over and over until I feel numb and my eyes start hurting!'



'I,M totally gutted seems like all the people i really admire are passing away in strange circumstances.First Michael Jackson,then Stephen Gateley, Then just to close off the year my Brother John Anthony on Xmas Eve,then Alex Mcqueen, and now Kristian Digby.I just want it to stop.'

This makes perfect sense.. MJ, Alexander McQueen, Princess Diana, Martin Luther King... Kristian Digby. Definately one of the greats.

Oh and can we please consider this picture.. my friend took this photo in my other friends 20 year old brothers bedroom last week. I cannot stop crying over it!
1. He is single, and has no need for that photo frame.
2. Jewellry? Teddies? TINSEL?
3. The mirror, this is the best part. Yes that is a crotch you see there, in fact thats my friends crotch that he didnt even know was so conveniantly placed when he took the picture. Plus, because of its placing it makes it look like its simply a framed photo of a crotch. I really wish it was.


[edit on 2/3/10 by Bluebelle]

Pet hate today...

Check the second line of my sig...

Took my jeans off, they go on the floor of course - bundled up something like a pair of jeans, another pair of trousers and a bunch of other stuff... Washing machine.........................................................

................................ I go look for my cigs.....................


I stop the washing machine......................

Jeans, wallet (and all inside) some really important notes, keys, cigs, change and MOBILE PHONE! spent some time getting washed.........

This is karma nibbling my gentle parts (I don't hate lady karma btw, that's just asking for a face/bus interaction) - I know what lady karma is telling me here.

Guys and gals - check your pockets before you wash clothes!



edit - people can laugh at this, the world should point and laugh at my life, hell I do.



[edit on 2/3/2010 by Now_Then]

reply to post by Bluebelle


Haha, I celebrate toilet day at least once everyday, sometimes after a heavy nights drinking I celebrate it a few times I always knew 2008 had a special feeling to it and now I know why, potatoes are just too good to be true! Yep, 1st October...I shall remember that day and do exactly that!

Well considering I don't know the fella I have absolutely no feelings of guilt for asking him to lend me a few grand, could you do it for me please? No need for it in cash, a cheque will be fine

You do have a great point about there always being something to celebrate but I can't get my head round the logistics of it all. There's a World Poetry Day but there is also a National Poetry Day and most probably an International Poetry Day! What's the difference? One day should suffice surely. I can't wait for the 21st now! We always wind one of my mates up for being a downy, he isn't so it's ok, but I reckon it was a close call I have now written it on my calendar so I better not forget! "The date was chosen to signify the uniqueness of Down syndrome in the triplication (trisomy) of the 21st chromosome", truly splendid!

Haha, you would think she was but no, she was deffo one of our skanks. Fussy? Are you being serious? Surely if I had women clambering all over me and I was still moaning then I would be fussy! As it stands I have a choice between the nearly dead or the dead, which if you ask me is no choice at all. Plus if any of them looked like Stifler's Mom then I wouldn't be complaining

Well as long as it's only a camera you shoot them with and not a pistol like some mentally unstable obsessed fan would do, but you're not one of them thankfully *cough,cough* I don't want to see Jedward go the way other musical greats like John Lennon and Gandhi did, Gandhi was a demon on the Sarangi, as was demonstrated on his 1938 debut album 'A Peace Of Gandhi'.
There's nothing wrong going a bit crazy with the camera, there's a reason it's called getting 'snap happy'

Wikipedia NEVER lies:

A full-grown giant Anteater eats upwards of 30,000 ants and termites a day.

Well done! Gutted about the Freddos, I bet you haven't been able to trust anyone since have you? Three Freddos isn't to be sniffed at though and you survived a horrendous ordeal, not a bad day overall.

All his stand-up stuff is on YouTube, Politics is alright but Animals and Fame are brilliant. That's my favourite bit, that, the bit about Humpty Dumpty and the bit about the gay animals

Haha, I doubt it would ever happen to that pretty boy, he's one of the fairies who keeps out of the action and just runs like a headless chicken when he gets the ball. His ears are safe. His ankle though is a different matter. Look at him crying, little puff

Exactly! It really does my head. It's the same with Comic Relief, how morbid is that title. Let's have a right good laugh at starving children, but it's okay as long as you donate some money, then your sins are absolved. Ultimate guilt trip! "Little Monabi has to walk for 4 hours to get water..." Well if little Monabi ran it would only take two at most! They're not brave they're unfortunate.
My mum went mental at me because I said something a bit controversial about it, she wasn't impressed. But yer she became some kind of saint in every ones eyes, ridiculous. Dozens of idiotic chavs die everyday, what makes her so special?

Haha, you asked this boy if he wanted to stroke your tarantula? Well I've heard some chat up lines in my time but that takes the biscuit I must give you kudos on your inventiveness though, I usually use the 'get phone out of pocket and pretend someone is ringing you' method or the ' look across the room in the hope of catching someone's eye and then pretending they are calling you over' method. Chasing them off with a tarantula is inspired!

It was very rude, he should have consulted us before deleting it, he's nothing without us! Hmmm, maybe he is starring himself then. How very sad.

I loved Kristian, To Buy or Not To Buy got me through some tough times, usually hangover related. I wasn't sure whether he was gay either, he had some kind of cloaking device which meant my Gaydar wasn't quite as effective as usual. But the more I watched the more I realised that yes, he is indeed a fruit The Death Bed!
Speight was a good one too. I like the idea of him going to a train station, where it would be very easy to throw yourself under a train, but instead opting to hang yourself! Proof that he was a bit mental after all Another good one was Kevin McGee, Matt Lucas' wife. I like the idea of someone posting a Facebook reply of "Shut up you big tart, stop being such a drama queen!" Then finding out that he was actually dead and feeling so racked with guilt that he also takes his own life in the same fashion. You gotta love irony

Haha, what he means by 'common act' is 'I also dabble in a bit of auto-erotic asphyxiation from time to time'

You really should take a long, hard look at yourself when the people you admire most in the world are Michael Jackson, Stephen Gateley, Alex McQueen and Kristian Digby!
Whilst on this subject I want to raise a little gripe of mine....YouTube comments after someone dies! All you get now on MJ Youtube videos is 'RIP Michael' or 'I miss you MJ' or 'RIP from Sweden' followed by 'RIP' from hundreds of other countries! Yesterday I stumbled across this little gem:

Michael I have a gift for you. Look for my dog. Name Wilson his a Yorkshire. We all love him. Thank you for your good intention to me. Some day i will find you and Wilson. God bless us all.

Also MJ related, my cousin was moaning about not having anywhere to keep his DVD's so after a little word with a manager in ASDA he is now the proud owner of this. A new low for him. Then I'm informed that my brother (massive wacko fan) has recently purchased an identical replica of this shirt MJ wore at a concert. I'm fully expecting to be attending his funeral some time soon, can you imagine him walking into the pub wearing that :shk:

Haha, that's brilliant! I thought it was a framed picture of a crotch which, considering the tinsel and jewelery, led me to believe he was a gay. Even without the crotch....are you sure he's not gay? If he isn't then I'm afraid he is going to be single for a long, long time

Oh! Have you been watching Coach Trip? The first five minutes of yesterdays episode were the best bit of telly I have seen in a long time! You must see it!

[edit on 05/08/2009 by LiveForever8]

Pet hate for today - people who ask stupid questions.
Today while I was in a group meeting I changed my status to 'is sooo tired!'
Within 10 minutes of me putting this up I had one group member who was also on facebook go to me 'are you tired?'. And then another two people asking me the same question over fb chat.
I mean really, what did they think the answer was going to be? 'Nah, was just having a laugh.. gotcha!'?

reply to post by LiveForever8

Haha, I celebrate toilet day at least once everyday, sometimes after a heavy nights drinking I celebrate it a few times

Im overjoyed that you've shared that with me. Thankyou. :shk:
Actually thats a thing.. have you ever heard of toilet roast?

Well he makes his money from killing kittens and telling small children that santa doesnt exist.. do you still want his money?

HAPPY WORLD MATHS DAY!
I have of course been in the pub since 11am celebrating this wonderful day. What with world book day tomorrow and national doodle day on friday I have no idea how Im going to cope.. I fear for my liver.
Im literally in awe of how many pointless days they are.. international womans day? Who gives a s**t!.. Water day is rather pointless as well. The majority of the planets covered in it and it rains most days here, so do we really need to be more aware about it?
The 21st will be a wonderful day.. I was going to comment further on this particular day but Im lacking any morals in this area so I'll keep quiet.
Although I will say that its awfully greedy of them.. they already have an extra chromosome, do they really need their own day to celebrate it as well?

Im also a little bit upset.. I just skimmed through april, hoping that on my birthday (the 29th) that it would be national AIDS day or paedophile awareness day.. but no, there's nothing!!
So from this moment on, I declare april the 29th national Ashlie day/gary glitter appreciation day. It'll be more popular that christmas!

Look its not their fault they cant climb all over you like some casual moutain goat.. hip replacements and arthiritis put a stop to that sort of behaviour.
You have it easy, getting people your own age is fraught with difficulties & apart from when rohypnol is used there's no method thats guaranteed to work. But if you go for the nana's its easy - hang round old peoples homes, marks & spencers, the aisle that sells tena lady at any good supermarket, graveyards... you can even check your local paper, see if theres any funerals that might be worth turning up to. The possibilities are endless!

Im not unstable! Well, not anymore. I was in a very bad place when they got voted out.

A full-grown giant Anteater eats upwards of 30,000 ants and termites a day.

Blatant conspiracy!

I still trust most people. Just not those that dont understand the hideous ethical issues in promising large amounts of freddo's and then not delivering. Not even Saddem Hussein would do that to a person.
Im just glad it wasnt over mini eggs, I wouldnt have been able to carry on otherwise. :shk:

Haha, love the dolphin bit!

Im glad, that face of his needs to be preserved... actually I think I may favour him over Ronaldo.
eeeeee thats hideous! I hate photos like that, in a weird way that makes me want to see more of them. That cant be normal.

The africans needs to look on the upside of their situation. Low levels of obesity, they do loads of excercise, no alcoholics, no drug addicts... and best of all, they arent exposed to horrors such as mika and hollyoaks.
They should be grateful really.

Oh dear, only you could translate that into being a chat up line. Another good thing about going for the elderly - most of them are deaf.
I feel really disturbed now that I actually held it. I wasnt scared because I thought taratula's just sort of sat there and wiggled their legs & generally didnt go aywhere in a hurry.. and that they didnt bite. I was informed later on that this wasnt the case. If it had bit me or started shooting around like those sly house spiders I would have just died on the spot.

Yea his mixed messages with regards to his sexuality were most interesting. One day he'd be quite camp and then the next he'd act normally, he was such a tease!
My seminar tutor had that story up on the projector today! It had no relevance to the seminar but he was browsing the website just before the seminar began so we made him read it.
We were most confused by the marks on his wrists.. how could he tie himself up? Surely that isnt possible? And we couldnt figure out why the f someone would pay that much money for a bed.
I think its safe to say that due to a belt & bin liner being in his room he must have suffocated himself with it. So the conclusion for today is that black bin liners = gay mens biggest turn on. I'll never look at them the same way again!

I forgot about Kevin McGee! Oh I do love celebrity death, it always brings a smile to my face.
Stephen Gatelys death brought much amusement also. His husband had been knobbing some brazilian in the bedroom when he died and it was so casually swept under the carpet! His funeral was ridiculous as well.. a catholic funeral, held in a church.. for a gay man. Slight issue there.
Although saying that, whilst me and my friend dan were watching it we came up with the most amazing idea which I swear I follow through on one day.. once we're older & decrepid we want to change our names legally but still use our normal one's.. my name would be changed to something like chantelle una natalie turner. After doing that I will make sure to put in my will and tell my relatives that I wish to have flowers spelling out my initials. And I could actually do that because initials arent offensive.
Oh and do you remember when Jeremy Beadle died? that was an emotional time. I remember how much joy I used to get from seeing him on you've been framed.. and then that legendary paedophilic catchphrase he had - 'watch out, beadles about'. Sooooooo sly!

Oh my God.. whats wrong with people!? 'Look for my dog?'
Im not being funny but why would anyone, let alone MJ go hunting round heaven for some scabby little yorkshire terrier?
Although I do quite like the idea of this randomer arriving in heaven and being greeted by Wilson and MJ, frolicking across the clouds towards him.
As for the 'RIP from Sweden'. Thats such a massive lie, I dont think the whole of sweden asked you to say 'RIP' on their behalf.

Haha, that is essentially rubbish. Its only redeeming feature is that its MJ related rubbish. And quite embarassing because you would have expected him to get 5 stars, not 4.
As for the shirt, just be glad he didnt purchase this instead.
Although to be fair if you got shot whilst wearing it I think the sheer amount of crystals on that thing would deflect the bullet. But then thats assuming that any would be murderer didnt get distracted first by all the pretty colours.

I too thought it was a picture.. but once I read that the frame said 'simply irresistable' I just knew it was too good to be true!
Nah he's definately not gay, although he is quite an angry young man by all accounts.

Nooo, Ive been crap and still not got into it properly! Has that old man come out with any racist remarks yet? And has the girl gone crazy and killed her mum?

Also, have you seen this?
I LOVE china's approach to childcare. Maybe they can take the kid to one of their fine zoo's to cheer him up?

reply to post by Bluebelle


Someone who was sitting in your immediate proximity asked you via fb if you were tired? Or they asked you in person? But yes, I know exactly what you mean, just like when you write a status and numerous people put 'really?'......no, I was lying, sue me!

You're welcome! Toilet roast?
Haha, yes, he sounds delightful! But I struggle to think of what job he could possibly have that would combine two such lovely things?

HAPPY WORLD BOOK DAY! I celebrated this today by burning a hundred Bibles and a hundred of Anne Franks book, I hate books without sequels :shk:
There are just too many, it takes the shine off the great ones like down syndrome day. Water day is just stupid! Brain awareness week (15th-19th March), give me a break! If you aren't aware you have a brain then you probably don't have one and are dead.
Haha, I think we decided today to make t-shirts with our friends face on the front with 'Happy Down Syndrome Day 21st March' on the back I can't wait! They are a greedy bunch, I don't think I have ever seen a normal sized one, that could explain it.

Haha, it's down on my calendar now but you were a bit stingy on the details, what are we supposed to do to celebrate 'Ashlie day/gary glitter appreciation day'? Mine is the same, because those rubbish Germans decided to stop trying to take over the world on the 11th November 1918 and then tried it again in 1939 I get stuck somewhere between Armistice Day and Remembrance Day. Depressing really. Still, I make sure I celebrate their sacrifices by getting so drunk I don't remember who I am, seems like the fair thing to do

Haha, I suppose you're right. I think your beginning to come round to the idea aren't you? Get yourself a nice little sugar daddy, feed him bleach on the sly every now and then and sit back and enjoy his retirement fund. I had another little vixen start talking to me today about my shoes, I'm sure she was trying it on, what's wrong with me!?

I think Saddam did do that in the end which is why they hung him for it. I reckon you can trace the origins of all the big wars throughout history back to a refusal to hand over an adequate amount of freddos. Which is why Switzerland always remain neutral, they have so much chocolate they just give it away = no war involvement

Pfft, well I suppose he's better than that greasy little foreigner. You hate them....you won't want to look at this then will you - Ouch! I knew someone at uni who loved looking at stuff like this, he was addicted to it and used to spend hours scouring the web for horrible disgusting things like the boy who's head split open when he tried to jump into the sea. Horrific. He was quite a nice lad too, normal like, but he was fascinated by it.

Haha, have you ever considered becoming a motivational speaker in Africa? You could do in 5 minutes what Lenny Henry has been trying to do for 20 years Yes Africa, stop your moaning, get on with it!

Hey now! My chat up lines are legendary....in the same way the Yorkshire Ripper is legendary....but nevertheless legendary!
Well you're braver than I am. In all fairness if it had bit you you probably would have died on the spot! I just imagine them jumping at me like the little baby alien things in the 'Alien' films. Then impregnating me and bursting out of my chest cavity 4 hours later while I eat my gammon and chips :shk:

And people moan about the state of the education system I'll never understand auto erotic asphyxiation. At what point do you stop enjoying it and start dying? It just all seems a bit too elaborate for my liking, too much hassle, just stick on Shaving Private Ryan and Roberts your mothers brother I agree about black bin bags too, they're long and black and slender.

Haha, yep, only the gays could get away with that. I actually watched his funeral too, I'd love to be one of those commentators from Sky News who just tell you exactly what your seeing on screen.
Yeeeeeeeeeeeees! What a devilish plan! Tony Winston Anthony Taylor
Another dark day when he died, genuinely devastated. Not too devastated that I couldn;t change my status to 'He's not about, not anymore' but you know, I was crying on the inside. I actually refused to believe it for days afterward, I thought this was going to be his big TV comeback. I still have my doubts now. I loved the idea of him constantly being in disguises for his show, even though he had a little withered right hand that could easily give him away at any minute, I don't know how he got away with it!

I know yer, you've gotta love the idea of MJ (king of pop, multi millionaire and owner of a pet chimp) getting to heaven and finding his only gift was a Yorkshire terrier called Wilson

Yep, rubbish it is, he's having none of it though. Indeed, the Daily Express have a lot to answer for! Anyone with eyes knows that was a 5/5 masterpiece! Although I would have been tempted to write 'This Is It? More like This Is Sh....' just for 'the crack'.

When I try to open that link all hell breaks loose, asking me to download something and then my computer goes mental and has a fit. But I'm guessing you were going on about something like this? I've always been a fan of the 'golden thong over the pants' look too Also, while on the subject, one of the greatest things I have ever see was at one of MJ's live concerts - a 'special' person......in a wheelchair......crowd surfing! If I find the clip you must see it. Pure joy!

I'm not going to ruin it for you, but you must watch the first five minutes of this episode! Amazing.

Haha, that picture of him in chains is just too cute, he looks so happy. I was wondering what his mum was doing while this was going on, thinking she better have a bloody good excuse for why she's not looking after him...

The lad's handicapped mother scavenged for rubbish nearby.

Fair enough

Aww bless him, he'll probably go on to create some super weapon for China that will enslave the rest of the world now, but until then he gets a thumbs up "Would it not be nice to not chain your child up?" China has so much going for it!

Favourite news of the day: Sushi Sex?

Also, I'm obsessed with this song today. I must have listened to it at least 80 times. Surely that's not healthy?

[edit on 05/08/2009 by LiveForever8]

reply to post by LiveForever8


Yep, he was all of about 1/2 a foot away from me!

Im trying to think of a way to explain it without sounding incredibly vile.. but its actually impossible. I just tried searching on google for a proper definition and there is none. Although I did find this, which is more than a little bit strange.
Toilet roast is when someone does a number 2, and although they've flushed there is still evidence.
Not a clue where it came from though. During second year one of the girls I was living with never ever locked her room when she went out. One day she'd gone out and one of my other flatmates randomly said 'Im going to heathers room to hunt for roast'. We were confused to say the least. But low and behold he found what he was looking for! So for the next 4 months or so when she was out we used to go hunting, and we were never dissappointed. It was vile.. the girl never cleaned her toilet.
What made it worse was that she was really girly and nice, she did a bit of modelling as well... but she secretly had major toilet hygeine issues. :shk:
Plus because of that, whenever she mentioned anything with the word 'roast' in it we always used to crack up laughing and have to vacate the room. She must have thought we were insane.

Well he is actually a naughty naughty drug dealer (which is nice, because people seem to think its appropriate to ask me for them like its a family business or something), but the kitten thing & upsetting kids is a side job really... he goes round collecting kittens to kill, and if the people have children then he gets to kill two bird with one stone.

Haha, I can see people sitting there and going 's**t, whats that about? I have a brain?!'
Ashlie day/Gary G appreciation day can be celebrated in one of two ways.
The first one can be spent quietly comtemplating some of my favourite subjects - paedophiles, meat hats, The Hoff etc etc.
The second method of celebration is done by stripping off, putting a trench coat on, and then hanging around schools asking children if they want to be in your gang. And if they decline then you flash them.

Oh those germans... so inconsiderate of them! Although we should think ourselves lucky really. One of my friends birthdays is on xmas eve.. and that attention seeker Jesus always steals her thunder!

eee not likely! The thought of having to cuddle up next to some saggy, withered OAP makes me die a little bit inside. :shk:
Haha, she blatantly wanted you! You should take some inspiration from this guy. You could make a bit of money out of it!

Haha yes, Switzerland just throw chocolate at anyone who dares to try and get them involved. Bribery is key.

Yea they're something alright.. not sure I would use the word legendary though.

This is going to sound really stupid but I didnt even realise they could bite you.. Because they dont have teeth.. or do they? Hmm.
Jumping spiders are the worst creatures in the entire world. One of the reasons I dont believe in God.. because why the f would he make such a terrifying creature?!
Actually though, upon further reflection, I retract that statement.. I typed jumping spiders into youtube expecting to be given some horrible nightmare inducing videos.. but no, it turns out their only tiny little things. This video of one is sooo cute.. its waving!

I dont even understand at what point the enjoyment begins. When the dizzyness starts? When your life flashes before your eyes? Plus, one would have thought that if he'd tied himself up somehow then he wouldnt really have been able to gain too much enjoyment due to not having a spare hand!
Id love to have been an actual presenter there.. Id just have been going round going 'who the f**k are you people?' to all the teary eyed people who turned up. I mean really, they didnt know the guy.. why get so emotional?
With regards to Jeremy Beadle.. I still live in hope that its all one big joke. I think in about 2 more years he'll just randomly turn up again, maybe on a day where relatives are visitng his grave, he could just pop out from behind it!

Oh dear thats not good.. yes it was that jacket!!
Haha, I like that he appeared to be going for a rather macho look there.. but then this image just completely falls apart when you see that he's wearing a gold thong. Which by the way looks very similar to one they used to sell in the primark mens section.

"Would it not be nice to not chain your child up?"

Phwoar.. that squids well fit! Look at those tentacles!
Actually.. squid is technically meat isnt it? Because if it is that would make the best meat hat ever.

Ahh thats a nice song, although quite depressing because it sounds all summery, and its currently chucking it down with rain here & is about -20 degrees. Why are people banging on about chile in the comments section?
Listening to it 80+ times probably isnt healthy.. but then again I listened to my Jedward CD about that many times on the day I got it.
Plus, at the moment Im going through a phase of lisening to all the s**t songs that came out when I was a teenager. I found this little gem earlier. I used to actually love this song! Ive played it about 5 times and been singing it to my mum, she got quite angry with me, but its not half as bad as jedward so I dont know what she's complaining about really.

[edit on 5/3/10 by Bluebelle]

Pet hate today - my friends lack of funds (because they spend it on £50 Pretty Green t-shirts!) and lack of a sense of adventure! The Isle of Wight Festival with a line up of Jay Z, The Strokes and Paul Mccartney and they are being proper bints by refusing to go! :shk:


reply to post by Bluebelle


That's just awful. I was in a lecture the other day and the girl from my group was next to me messing on her phone. I asked her who she was texting and she said Claire. The very same Claire who was sat next to her and also messing on her phone. I died a little inside.

That website is outstanding! And it reminds me of another brilliant website - lovely. Any excuse to mention that wonderful site
Haha, I had never heard of that before, thankfully. Although I must point something out to you:

She must have thought we were insane.

I wonder why that could be......

So for the next 4 months or so when she was out we used to go hunting, and we were never dissappointed.

Oh yer, that's why

I bet roast dinners have never been the same since.
I see your Toilet Roast and raise you a Reverse Kanga - Just in case you need a better picture.
Oh and while we are sharing incredibly distasteful websites...type 'beast forum' into Google...if you dare

Does he drive round in a black BMW with tinted windows? Well, that's one of the laws of the drug dealer code - if you are a drug dealer, by association, so is the rest of your family. So his CV would read - drug dealer, kitten killer, child dream killer? Nice.

then he gets to kill two bird with one stone.

He kills birds too?

Haha, well I spend most days contemplating those things so I think to make it extra special I shall go for option two, I shall head out immediately and purchase a trench coat. Would a filthy old Joey Greco style leather jacket/plastic bag suffice? Surely that is then combining both option 1 and 2 with devastating effect!

That would be terrible! One of my friends has the same problem and another two have theirs on New Years Eve and New Years Day, messy, messy times indeed! My old best friend from primary school had his birthday on 5th November, that was pretty awesome. Celebrating a birthday by throwing an effigy of some poor fella onto a bonfire and setting off fireworks. Nothing says 'happy birthday' like a good old fashioned terrorist burning.

Welcome to my world :shk:
Haha, "Granny lover's 'tranny' past", what a wonderful headline. Although the article does go on a bit, it could have just ended after the opening line of "A 31-year-old organ enthusiast"...nuff said
It just gets better: "Simon, an organ player, who suffers from a severe hearing impediment" - lucky for him!

Edna said: "If he wants to dress up in a green caterpillar suit with pink flip flops what does it matter. I don't give a monkey's.

A woman after my own heart Don't think I could be a cross dresser to be honest, I don't have the legs for it. Although I wouldn't need to splash out on a fancy wig, my beautiful woman hair should be fine.

Yes, that did sound stupid They have fangs I think, surely you have seen the film Arachnophobia? How did you think they killed prey, by firing laser beams from their eyes?
How is that cute? And it wasn't waving, it was sizing up it's next victim! I was actually expecting it to jump at the camera at some point, what a let down. They are still horrid little vermin as far as I'm concerned!

I think this is one situation where the saying 'Don't knock it until you've tried it' has no relevance, I don't know how he did it and I don't want to know. One thing that is interesting though is how all of this first came about. Apparently when people were getting hung way back when they would die with an erect penis because of the asphyxiation. Some fella must have been there watching this going on and thinking "Well he looks like he was having a good time before he eventually died. Okay, this time it went a bit far, but I wonder if I could......" The rest is history

It was stupid wasn't it, hundreds of people who probably didn't even know/like him balling their eyes out. One of my friends friends who is a gay was devastated. Turns out he didn't even like him that much but because Gateley was gay he felt it was a personal loss to the community.
Haha, if it did turn out to be a big joke (fingers crossed) it would no doubt be the greatest prank of all time. It would be even better if he buried himself a foot under the ground and when his relatives came along he just burst through the soil dressed as a zombie

Haha, I thought it would be the one you were talking about. I've got to say though, if anyone could have pulled off the 'gold thong over pants' look it was MJ. They used to sell that in Primark?! Oh dear, I better keep that one quite from my brother, I cant have him prancing around Bromborough in one of those things! I have my street cred to think about

Haha, I don't know if squid is meat, it's fish isn't it...is fish the same as meat? It's nice to know we ask all of life's important question Maybe I should post that article on beast forum, they would go mental for something like that!

Well it's been lovely and sunny here over the last few days so I think that's why the song has captured my imagination so much...I can't wait for summer now! I think I also like it because it sounds like Lighthouse Family, classic! Dunno what Chile has to do with it, typical nonsensical YouTube comments.
Yer, I suppose you aren't the best person to be asking in that regard
I actually remember Lemonescent but I don't remember that song, how terrible is their singing please? I'm sure you couldn't have been much worse than them

One of my personal favourites: www.youtube.com... Also, whoever made that video should be given given a medal.

Another little gem I was reminded of last night: www.youtube.com... I genuinely thought we were going to win with that!

:shk:

Pet hate for today.. well.. 2 days ago, but still:
Xfactor knobs changed the interview times, which means that my friend wasnt able to get there and my kidnapping of Jedward has been postphoned until further notice. I think god doesnt want me to meet them.

reply to post by LiveForever8


Right well before I address anything else, I have to talk about this beast forum.
For the first time in my entire life, Im speechless! Is this actually a real site, or am I hallucinating? Do I want to know how/why you became aware of its existance?
I feel like a child in a sweet shop, I simply do not know where to start with this site.. Ive only had a look on the 'how to' section and Im already in severe pain from laughing so much! And Ive just sent my friend a private message over fb containing some of the more racy quotes from 'How my mare and I became stablemates'. Im sure she'll enjoy it immensely.
This is literally the sickest thing Ive seen in my entire life, and thats saying something... thankyou for sharing it with me.
Also, would it be incredibly immoral of me to join the site so I could see the pictures put up in the 'provocative animal picture' contest?

But yes anyway, moving on..

Thats ridiculous, you should have slapped the phone out of her hand and told her to pay attention.
Although saying that, last year I always used to sit chatting to my mates over fb chat who were sat next to me.. but that was usually because we were either gossiping or just generally being vile human beings.

Yes but she didnt know we did that! And we kept it between the four of us so she'll never find out.. all she knew was that for some reason we found any sort of roast food, or roasting hot weather incredibly funny.

Well the last time he went to prison it was because the police apparantly found a taser gun in his car... so currently he has no car, or taser gun!
But no, his car never had tinted windows. However he did know a few big black men so he still had a gangster image.

Hmm, a Joey Greco coat.. that is an interesting option.. Im not sure it would give adequate coverage though. There's no point to the whole thing if people immediately recognise you as being a massive paedophile.
Maybe one of these would be more suitable? Id go for the shiny PVC one personally, its much more fashionable.
But, aside from the coat.. remember you must accessorize it with one of the following - a cigar, straggly beard, or a pair of sunglasses.
Im actually weeping at the mere thought of that cigar, that will never stop being funny.

Haha, I love bonfire night! Who doesnt love crowding found a big fire to see a man being burnt to death & then celebrating it.. such a pleasant, civilized activity.
Im just glad I was born 9 days late, otherwise I would have had to share my birthday with one of my brothers. That would not have gone down well, I dont like sharing. :shk:

Im incredibly dissappointed with you at this present moment in time. There were so many references to him 'playing on his organ', and you didnt make any bad jokes about them! Whats wrong with you? :shk:
This article about them is really amusing/disturbing. This part really upsets me:

'Good God, no,' says Edna, licking Simon's nose. 'Our relationship has the same passion as a pair of 25-year-olds. We kiss about 150 times a day.

Im actually more offended by that then I am by that animal molesting forum.

Oh my God, arachnophobia, dont ever mention that film to me again!
Its so messed up, why the f would the spiders turn out to be small and deadly instead of big and useless? Its just so wrong. Plus Ive never been able to turn a lamp off ever since then, because you just know theres some sneaky little spider waiting in the lampshade ready to pounce.
I just didnt think the non-poisonous one's would bother biting anyone though, especially seeing as they take most of their prey down with their webs..
As for the jumping one's though, that one was waving, you're obviously just too socially inept to realise it was trying to be nice! And they're ridiculously tiny, look here.

You absolutely must watch this video. Possibly the gayest thing Ive seen in my entire life. How on earth did we ever think he was straight??
Also, this video also has the best comments in the ENTIRE world:

AnonymousQuarks
Stephen Gately died at 33(like illuminati degree)bcause it was an iluminati sacrifice, just like Lavelle Felton & Robert Enke/...Lavelle Felton(basketball pro)was murdered in 2009,his shirt number was 32(like mason degree),which is also 23 reversed like the illuminati cursed num
Also in 2009 Robert Enke(soccer pro)commited suicide,but they dont said it was an illuminati self-sacrifice,but check the num of his death age,32 like the masonic degree, & the num of his shirt 23(cursed illuminati num

stephengatelyfan
@ CK3Tech
Now I'm getting into this conversation, "excuse me? ". Just watch you say about (my baby) Stephen Gately. He was my only world. And now, he is gone.

doggiezperson
Spam um yeah Im not a lez, Im perfectly in love with someone right now, and you do know that like a lot of talented Irish singers are gay yeah??, and I just want to move to Dublin for a better life, and like I said IM NOT AUSSIE IM LEB!!!! you know what forget all this, YOUR A RESIST BARSTED!!!! you don't deserve to be Irish, I would kill to be Irish bro, your really lucky you do know that

Seriously, what the hell are these people on. I might start adding in comments about chile just to add a bit more tension to the whole thing.

And sticking with the homesexual theme..Im in love with those two old gays on coach trip! Brendans going to regret giving them the red card.

'I'll kick your fat arse all round this coach'



Also, what the hell.. why are they sending them to decent places this year??

I think its a relevant question! Because some vegetarians still eat fish.. and fish are technically animals so it must be meat... Im confused.

It really does need to be summer now. Although once its summer that means I'll be absolutely raped with shifts at work, which is never a good thing. :shk:
They're brilliant singers! As am I.. people just dont like what I sing.

That video is much better than the original one. I particularly like the wolf bit, the hedgehog flashing the cat, and whenever it said 'party time'.

I remember that song! Its just a shame that the only way to win the eurovision song contest is by being up other countries arses & putting the most insane performance on as is humanely possible. This is the best song that ever came out of that competition.

Oh, and I dont think 'Isle of Wight' and 'sense of adventure' really belong in the same sentence.
I do feel bad for you though, the Isle of Wight is like Magaluf for nana's.

reply to post by Bluebelle


Sorry to hear about Jedward First venomous spiders and now this, that God has a lot to answer for!

You're welcome I knew it would be your cup of meat. I'm happy to say it is indeed real, isn't it just too good to be true though? My cousin told me about it, god only knows how he stumbled across it, but yer it's just amazing. I was hooked when the first thing I saw was somebody asking if it is safe to have sex with an octopus and what the best techniques are
Haha, I had the exact same struggle with my conscious regarding whether I should join, the potential of those pictures is just too much to ignore! I think you should join and let me know if it's worth it although I think I already know the answer to that question. You can be my canary down the mine, the guinea pig

Yer, I suppose it's more of a girl thing. Us lads aren't the gossip/sly insults type, at least not on your scale.

And we kept it between the four of us so she'll never find out..

Yet you have just told me and the rest of the world via the internet, nice work

"The last time he went to jail..." The last time? I'm guessing he's been more than once then? I didn't realise prison food was that good. But yes, the very minimum you need to keep your gangsta status is a few big black friends, a BMW with tinted windows and an Uzi are just bonuses.

Yer, good point. The shiny PVC one is the obvious choice, mainly because I'm guessing it would be dry wipe - easier to get off any 'stains' that might just happen to cross it's path I also love this little bit in the item description:

Includes: long black vinyl coat with zipper in front and glasses. Available in one size: Adult Standard. Pants and gloves NOT included.

It's as if they know exactly why I need it Plus I get sunglasses with it so all I need now is an over-sized Cuban cigar - which I actually have in my possession. Fate?

Bonfire night is great. But it's only now I can sit back in retrospect and realise just how murderously brutal it is And people wonder why kids these days are so violent!
That would have been awful, nobody likes sharing. My auntie and her daughter share a birthday, that must have been horrible for her, she should have been blowing out her birthday candles but instead she was blowing out a baby.

How did I miss that? I'm disappointed at myself for that one, I can only apologise and promise it wont happen again.
Haha, what a randy little so and so!

Edna answers the door in black leather trousers, purple blouse and tap shoes.

She is just too perfect

Haha, I couldn't go to the toilet for a week after seeing it just in case there was a spider lurking under the seat!
As if it was waving! Ashlie - 'The Spider Whisperer' Awww, look at little Bob, isn't he just precious! I like the bit where he has to say 'tetra chromatic colour', especially the moments leading up to it where he is panicking, trying to say it without making it look like he is reading it off a piece of paper
So according to Bob that spider wasn't waving at all...it was giving the spiders equivalent to the V's. Also, I know Bob is just trying to educate us here, but is aggravating two spiders and forcing them to fight really the best way to do it, seems cruel to me. I think he loves them too much, that's his problem

There is gay, then there is gay....and then there is that! I'm guessing that the lyric 'If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it' has a completely different meaning as far as he's concerned
Good god! I love how even in the comments section of a Stephen Gateley youtube video of a Beyonce cover the Illuminati still get a mention, brilliant. "He was my world" - I'm guessing Uranus?
I also like:

he will foreva live on through his music

He may live on, but if it's via his music, he wont be living much better than my local homeless person does

Haha, how good was that little bitch fight! 'Don't pull that face at me you fat queen!'
I know it's mental isn't it. I'm definitely signing myself up for the next series if this one is anything to go by.

I think it says a lot about us when we can't even come up with a coherent answer to a question like 'Is squid meat?' But I'll go with yes it is, for arguments sake. Make your hat!

That's what Simon and co say when someone is awful but they don't want to hurt their feelings - 'You had a nice voice but the song just wasn't right' 'I will sing you another one then...' 'No!'
Workey = money = good times

Why have I never seen that before!? Is he saying 'el cheeky, cheeky'? I love Eurovision for that exact reason, but I then hate it when scoring comes around and its just so predictable its stupid! Still, my year wouldn't be the same without it I don't reckon.

Pfft, well they do as far as my friends are concerned. There idea of a 'sense of adventure' is buying Hubba Bubba instead of Wrigley's Extra!

Also, ats chat has been rather amusing/infuriating recently, here is why...

Just in the middle of a fairly normal conversation...

Person 1 - i think i'm a dimensional being odly enough

Person 2 - you never jumped dimensions?

Person 1 - depends what you mean by to jump a dimension?

Person 2 - well for me a dimension is like a veil with set pieces of information and connections within it

Person 2 - so for example if i experience continuous sychronicity which i often do then that is access to the forth dimension

Person 1 - 4d time is very cool and i'm glad i've experienced it along with some 5d energy



And then later on......

Person 2 - so what is the weirdest experience any of you have had here? i'm interested.

Person 1 - i once commincated with a moth

Person 2 - i got taken on a trip through dimensions by a hooded serpent

Person 1 - at least it seems it was communicating with me, not through voice through movement

I really hate slow walkers. Maybe its cause im from the north, but i just walk fast. And then people get infront of you and walk slow.

Bicycle Helmet Laws
Speed Limits on Mid Desert Roads
Hateful Liberals that think their She Att don't Stink
The US Goverments tendency to Lord it All Over Us
Lima Beans
Standing in Line ........Anywhere
Taxation Without Representation
Baby Pictures of other peoples Kids
The New York Yankees.... ( I'm a Mets Fan )
People who Silently Fart in Elevators then Deny it
My Boss
Lite Beer
Diet Soda
Food that Tastes like Cardboard







................................They are ALL Number Ones to me .....




[edit on 7-3-2010 by Zanti Misfit]

reply to post by LiveForever8


He sure does. Although due to me making my friend feel really guilty about the whole thing she said when she sorts out a face to face interview with olly murs then she'll try and get one with Jedward because they have the same management or something.

I seriously cannot get over this website.. Im still in absolute disbelief. I cant believe how many people are on it!
Isnt that stuff illegal anyway? If so I dont understand why they're allowed to have a massive site about that, but none for paedophiles. Actually, the only thing that could possibly top this forum would be a pro-pedo one. Can you imagine.. 'how I seduced my neighbours child', 'what are the best positions to put a 4 year old in'.
These threads keep getting better and better, have you seen these ones?

Why it is wrong to have sex with birds and reptiles
I really enjoy that the horse/dog lovers actually look down upon people who like birds & reptiles.
Oh and a few posts down there is a person who openly admits to shagging eels. Priceless.

Also, dog raper, I got caught, and initiating gf. I feel so bad for that persons girlfriend.. just imagine the sheer hideousity/awkwardness of it!!

I think I will join the site though. I used to have a little hamster called crumpet who was quite the looker, so I think she might be in with a chance of winning!

Oh and you say you're cousin told you about it.. this isnt him is it?

Sly insults! We dont insult people
We do gossip however, but in Lincoln there's alot of incest and sharing of men occuring so you have to keep up to speed with things! But aside from that we're all a lovely bunch of people, aside from the harrowing conversation topics.
And no one I know would ever come on here so its fine, she'll never know.

Yes he's visited prison on a couple of occasions. He's so silly, he's obviously not a very good criminal so he should just give up really!

Haha, I didnt think about it like that... fashionable AND practical. What more could you want!

Bonfire night is massively harsh when you think about it... so what if the guy wanted to blow london up? We all make mistakes, and its not like it actually happened so everyone needs to calm down really.
Urgh, that definately isnt what you want on your birthday. Id hold a serious grudge against my child if they decided to come out on my birthday.. its just so inconsiderate!

Edna is such a sex pest! Poor man, I bet she hassles him night and day for sex when all he really wants to do is restore his organ and go for romantic walks along the dual carriageway.. which of course are completely normal pastimes for a man in his thirties. My god if thats what Ive got to look forward to I think I'll be visiting paddington station, noose in hand when it gets to my 30th birthday. :shk:

Oh and the bit where it was in the shower! eeee what a horrid film. I remember this bit where they walked into a house and one casually crawled out of this dead mans nose.. it actually ruined my life.
Yea the spiders in that video werent waving... they were black spiders from the ghetto, from rival gangs as well Im guessing.
I think making them fight was a great idea! Although the one's he had were pretty stupid though.. they kept trying to start on eachother and then just forgetting that the other one was there & carried on wandering about.

The illuminati comment on there was great. I mean if you want to theorize that they killed Stephen Gately (of all people) thats fine... but to bring up there.. well, lets just say there's a time and a place for everything.. and there wasnt it!
Oh and the the one who's world had apparantly gone was a nutter as well.. she posted on there a couple of other times and kept calling him 'her baby'. Such strange people on youtube!

It was insane.. what was the fight actually over? Not that it matters, it was still brilliant. I loved how that woman was clinging onto her husband as well, anyone would have thought she'd been caught in the middle of a gang war!

Workey = money = good times

I have to disagree. It isnt good times when you're someone who was seriously disturbed by the blair witch project, and then your job is actually sitting in the middle of a forest. Its terrifying!
Oh and the fact that I have to deal with tourists asking me stupid questions about robin hood and the major oak..
1. Robin hood wasnt actually there. Nor was maid marian. They didnt get married either, so asking me to point you in the direction of where this event happened it almost impossible.
2. The major oak.. its an old tree, why do people come all this way to see a tree. Its not even really a tree anymore.. more like 10% tree and 90% plastic.
The only enjoyment I get out of this job is that it pays well, and when the robin hood festival is on they're quite happy to let the staff get s**tfaced in the middle of the day.

I think what he's actually saying is 'el chiki chiki'.. but it doesnt matter really because I have literally no clue as to what he's going on about.

Person 1 - i once commincated with a moth

I just spat half my drink out reading that.
I really like the hooded serpent one too.. if these people are ever on chat again let me know immediately, Id very much like to discuss an interesting conversation I had with an earwig recently... and also a unnerving experience I had with a caterpillar a few weeks back.

Oh and Im feeling really offended by facebook today. This boy who I used to go to school with popped up on my newsfeed, so I had a nosy at his profile and he is actually the worlds biggest paedophile... and a massive gay.
So he's going out with this girl.. he's 23, 24 in september.. and she's 16!! And it appears they were together while she was still 15. How wrong is that?!
To make matters worse, they keep exchanging cheesy song lyrics & generally harrowing messages, and he has really appropriate lyrics in the little box under his profile picture. I was going to copy & paste but there's simply too much so here's some pictures of the more sickening one's:

Indeed
shayne ward
slyyyy

I mean really.. for 2 months of that she was underage. Further proof that no one in mansfield has any morals!

[edit on 7/3/10 by Bluebelle]

You guys are the most thorough ranters I've ever seen.





Keep up the good work.

this...

Mod Edit: Profanity/Circumvention Of Censors – Please Review This Link.

[edit on 3/8/2010 by semperfortis]

Now, I don't hate AstroTurf football pitches and I also don't hate sliding in to tackle opposition players. But I do hate sliding in to tackle opposition players on AstroTurf football pitches! Tracksuit pants ripped and my knee cut open :shk:

Worst thing is I go and do it again 15 minutes later with the exact same knee!


reply to post by Bluebelle



Ah, swings and roundabouts....Cinderella WILL go to the ball

To be honest I hadn't even given it a proper look, my cousin sent it me and I kind of got the gist of it and then repressed the memory. But after looking at those links I'm actually dumbfounded by it's brilliance.
Yer it's illegal, I don't know how they get away with it!
I actually spent most of last night in tears, laughing so hard. My mum even came upstairs to ask me what I was laughing at, I didn't fancy telling her the truth Right then, those links......

The dog raper one is just wonderful. I especially like how the member 'cheeseyness' gets on her high horse (I thank you ) because he is boning the dog without its permission. Erm, that's all well and good as long as you can show me written permission from your dog stating its okay for you to do it....oh you can't? Thought not.

The 'I got caught' one is also amazing.

"does the kitty like frankfurters?"

I thought his friend was going to rip him to shreds, like any sane friend would do in such a situation, but alas these people are obviously not sane because what did they do after the event...

I even managed to have sex with him a couple of hours after the incident, which wasn't mentioned again.

Unbelievable.

The girlfriend one is riddled with brilliant one liners such as:
"my gf (who was slightly tied) said my dog" - haha, just casually slip that in there.
"on the box" - what a wonderful storyteller he is!
"DVD i downloaded by mistake" - I hate it when that happens.
"i was also thinking about buying a dog shaped dildo" - local ASDA maybe?

Haha, no I don't think that is him but I am shocked and appalled at how many of these perverts are from Liverpool! That particular thread supplied me with the single greatest one lined post I have ever seen, I laughed for about 20 minutes straight! Go to the link and scroll down to jackr89's post, I'm crying again now

Oh sorry 'gossip', yer that's what I meant. Yes aside from the incest and general slaggyness it does seem a lovely place I'm the same, none of my friends would come on here, the conversations are far to intellectual for them, with our deep and philosophical conversation being the perfect proof

I love that term - 'visited prison' - it's so much nicer then the harsh reality. But yes a career change does seem in order, maybe he could work behind the bar at most gigs/festivals, he would still be mugging people....but it would be perfectly legal.

Yer, they knew how to deal with terrorists back in them days, that's for sure. Nowadays, instead of burning them alive we give them passports and swanky houses, it's just not on!

Haha, I don't think you'll have to worry about that. I doubt you will ever be 'a man in his thirties' so you should be okay As far as I'm concerned if you end up marrying a man who likes restoring his organ (still funny) and going for romantic walks along the dual carriageway then you only have yourself to blame. 'In sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy.....

Yer, that video only proved how stupid spiders are, except the ones in Arachnophobia of course. They didn't even fight properly, he should have aggravated one of them by telling it the other spider had been knocking boots with his ho

I think the angry gay was angry (surprise, surprise) that the fat gay was the ringleader (cough, cough) of the young group voting everyone off. Haha, she was crying and everything! Bless.

Your job is to sit in the middle of a forest? Hold on, hold on....you show people around Sherwood Forest, and you get PAID to do it!? Robin Hood festival! This just gets better! Why has it taken this long for you to mention that you have the greatest job in the world?

Amazing comment isn't it. The person who actually said that (the author of this thread) has not muted me so he can't see what I type anymore, don't think he likes me much The only animal any human can have a conversation with and not look like a mental is a parrot, and it helps if you wear an eye patch and have a wooden leg.

Eurgh, that's not good at all. Haha, how sly are those lyrics?! He's a pedo and he's rubbing every ones faces in it!
Oh dear, quoting Shayne Ward is just no good, no good at all.
'Five months of joy and pleasure' - ewwwww, this stuff is scandalous!
I'm glad to see your pedo-meter (see what I did there ) is still in full working order, some fine detective work

Another bit of proof of how classy Mansfield is can be found in your latest avatar, there is just something in that picture that seems out of place

One of my Facebook 'friends' came up with this rather delightful status today:

"I AINT GOT NO MUTHAF***IN FRIENDS , THATS WHY I FU***D YO BITCH U FAT MOTHERF***ER !!!!!!!!"

No friends you say, I wonder why?

Speaking of gays, my favourite news story of today: Pot - Kettle - Black

Oh...and guess who was on Jeremy Kyle this morning?

[edit on 05/08/2009 by LiveForever8]

reply to post by Welfhard

gawddammit my post got cut. Fine, I went and edited the swear out of the image. I hope you're happy.



[edit on 9-3-2010 by Welfhard]

reply to post by LiveForever8


It really just gets better and better...wannabe cow raper, alligators & crocodiles, & HARROWING.
Its like aladdins cave... except instead of gold & magical lamps there's mountains of crap about peoples sick fantasies, odd questions about drugging cows, and bizzare 'art attack' style threads about how to make your own dog dildo. I dread to think what Mark Speight would have to say about it all.

I especially like how the member 'cheeseyness' gets on her high horse (I thank you )

Back on form I see, well done.

Haha, I didnt read any of the posts in that thread! Why does that guys post sound like one of those things that normally gets put in personal ads.. like 'good sense of humour' & 'would like to meet'? If I ever see 'WSS' in any personal ads from now on (not that I actually read them), I'll know what it means!
There does seem to be an abundance of men in Liverpool looking for some farmyard based action... For once though Im quite happy to be living in the east midlands, there doesnt seem to be anyone from there looking to molest horses etc, thank god.

My friends would think Ive got a screw loose if they knew I was on here, there's literally more chance of me bumping into them on that beastiality forum than on here.

I could have said he was detained 'at her Majestys pleasure', that would have sounded even nicer. Like the queen had kidnapped him for the weekend and forced him to drink tea and watch antiques roadshow with her!
Pssh, if there's anyone going to be working on the bar at festivals then its going to be me.. had a friend who worked on one of the bars at Glastonbury and he got paid like £12 per hour and got to serve a couple of the underage actors on skins!

'a man in his thirties'

You never know!

Urgh, as if the fat gay was the ringleader! No wonder he gave him a slap then. To be fair I probably would have gone insane at all of them.. can only cope with those sort of gays for about 15 minutes at a time. :shk:

I dont show people round.. they know better than to let me do anything like that. It'd end up turning into a real life version of the blair witch project, except instead of a scary witch Id be in constant terror from thinking that a squirrel or wasp is trying to kill me. Worst thing is Im not even joking.
Although actually it could be quite fun to be a tour guide, I could just make random stories up and the tourists would have to believe me.. 'And this where Robin Hood smashed The Sheriff of Nottingham (who is a massive pervert, actual fact) at a game of tiddlywinks.. things were never the same after that'.. oh it would be wonderful. It'd be much better than any boring stories about robbing from the rich to give to the poor.

But, while working in sherwood forest is definately not the best job in the world, I have just landed myself a trial shift at possibly the best bar in the world. Well, best bar in Mansfield, but still. Can we please consider the fact that they sell 60 different shots... heaven!
How the hell I managed to get that I dont know, because Ive never worked at a bar before and I know someone else who went for an interview had 3 years bar experience and they didnt get a trial shift. But Im most excited anyway.

Haha, why on earth doesnt he like you.. I mean who wouldnt like a person who just absolutely derails your thread into oblivion and then posts comments taking the piss out of you?
Im going to make a point of having a look through his posts though, with that moth comment he could potentially be the next DarkCyrus.
You can talk to pigeons as well and still be sane.. I think. I spoke to one today. I bumped into my sister down town and while I was talking to her this one-legged pigeon hopped over to us.. it just stood there looking at us so I said 'hello, do I know you?'.. and it gave me a dirty look and hopped off! The audacity of it!

Ahh, yes the stella.. that was taken just before I went to my fake grad ball.

How does not having any friends give you an excuse to have relations with someone's 'bitch'? Oh the logic

I particularly liked this quote from that story - "The vest thing was my idea. It was my way of saying, 'I'm here, I'm gay.'"
Although it is completely ridiculous.. a tank top to me says the person believes they have lots of muscles, which generally they dont.. but they should let other people know they are gay. Today I logged onto facebook and found out a girl I used to work with had just got married... to another girl. A big butch one with tattoos. Had literally no clue she swung that way! You should send a card out or something if you decide to change your sexuality, where are peoples manners!

Hmm, I wonder.... the pope? david hasselhoff?... God?? So many possbilities!
However, for the time being I shall assume it was you.. and in which case, eee you're famous! You should have let me know it was going to be on, not that I would recognise you of course.. although actually Im sure your womanly hair would stand out a mile.