I think someone did this last year but I couldn't find it. Here's Twas the Night Before ATSMass by whatukno
Twas the night before ATSmass, when all through the boards
Not a creature was stirring, not even The Borg.
The threads were hung by the recent posts with care,
In hopes that SkepticOverlord soon would be there.
The members were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of conspiracies danced in their heads.
And Asala in her ‘kerchief, and Intrepid in his cap,
Had just settled their fingers for a long winter’s nap.
When out on the forum there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the boards to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the U2U and threw out the trash.
The screen on the tab of the new-fallen threads
Gave the gloom of mid-night to horrors and dreads.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature video, and Johnny our chanticleer.
With a little old driver, I pointed and click,
I knew in a moment it must from William One Sac!
More rapid than eagles his curses they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now dbates! now, DJDOHBOY! now, sanctum and Djarums!
On, chissler! On, Crakeur! on, on Dr Love and Byrd!
To the top of the boards! to the top of them all!
Now post away! post away! post away all!"
As bad legislation that before the house chamber fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the board-top the coursers they flew,
With the U2U full of applause, and SkepticOverlord too.
And then, in a twinkling, I saw in my box
The praising and fawning of each little fox.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down on my thread SkepticOverlord came with a bound.
He was dressed all in black, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with BB code and soot.
A bundle of bans he had flung on his back,
And he looked like the grim reaper, just opening his pack.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how scary!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn down in a frown,
And the beard of his chin was as white as a ghost town.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he banned, like a bowlful of jelly!
He was serious and mean, not a jolly old mod,
And I laughed when I saw him, even though it was odd!
A glare in his eye and a shake of his head,
Soon gave notice I had everything to dread.
He wrote not a word, but went straight to his work,
And deleted all my postings, god what a jerk!
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the board threads he rose!
He sprang to his screen, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy ATSmass to all, there will be a banning tonight!!"
[edit on 12/25/2009 by whatukno]