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Internal conflict.

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posted on Dec, 24 2009 @ 07:14 PM
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I started to get seriouse about my spirituality about two months ago now and since i have. One big issue is stopping me from proggresing.

I believe i was born with a negative energy. Its been with me all through my youth and still runs strong in me today.

Ive tryed to become more possitive as a whole but it feels unatural. It even seems to effect other peole if im around them long enough. Like i cast some sort of spell without knowing it. Im really in to music and write my own Raps, stuff like that and ive tryed to write possitive lyrics but i cant. It just doesnt work.

So when i meditate should i embrace negative energys instead of possitive ones?
Is that why i feel like im doing something wrong when trying to gain insight through possitive thought?

Was i born to keep the balance, if you like. We cant all be possitive after all. There has to be an equilibrium does'nt they.

Im not talking Good vs. Evil here. I dont think i was born to kill or any crazy stuff like that. But i definately have a vien of negative energy within me, and a very powerfull one at that.

Does this mean Spirituality is'nt for me? and is there anyone out there who feels the same. Let me know.




posted on Dec, 24 2009 @ 07:26 PM
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Could just be depression/anxiety. See your doctor. Could just be a bad habit of thinking as the glass half empty instead of half full. If so, you can re-train your thought patterns. I know there is answer for you somewhere. I would first talk to a doctor and see what they reccomend. In any case, you don't have to leave your spirituality behind. You just need to feel better first. Good luck and Merry Christmas!



posted on Dec, 24 2009 @ 07:29 PM
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Originally posted by Algebra
So when i meditate should i embrace negative energys instead of possitive ones?


Why would someone ever seriously pose that question?



posted on Dec, 24 2009 @ 07:31 PM
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Perhaps you have a melancholic temperment:


Source


C. Melancholy

1. Conscientious, SJ - Guardian - The melancholy is an introverted temperament type. His natural style is analytical and perfectionist. He is the most moody of types ranging from highly "up" to gloomy and depressed. During his low periods he can be very antagonistic and does not make friends easily. He is the most dependable of the temperaments due to his perfectionist tendencies. His analytical ability allows him to accurately diagnose obstacles and problems, which often keep him from making changes - he prefers the status quo and may seem overly pessimistic.

He may choose a difficult life vocation involving personal sacrifice. Many melancholies become doctors or scientists or artists. Their interpersonal style can be critical and negative. He tends to be more indecisive than other types. They have difficulty giving praise and approval because they cannot bring themselves to say something that is not 100% true. They also are usually dissatisfied with themselves being highly self-critical.

Other weaknesses include being "thin skinned" or touchy and easily offended. He often feels persecuted and may seek revenge for real or imagined insults. He tends to be "all or nothing" in his evaluation of things; everything must be black or white and no shades of gray. He is least likely to consider mitigating circumstances when evaluating a person or situation. No temperament is more likely to be legalistic and rigid. He can be intolerant and impatient with those who do not see things his way.



posted on Dec, 24 2009 @ 07:53 PM
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Originally posted by Night Star
Could just be depression/anxiety. See your doctor. Could just be a bad habit of thinking as the glass half empty instead of half full. If so, you can re-train your thought patterns. I know there is answer for you somewhere. I would first talk to a doctor and see what they reccomend. In any case, you don't have to leave your spirituality behind. You just need to feel better first. Good luck and Merry Christmas!


If it was as simple as going to see a doctor for some happy pills or an appointment with someone who'll tell me everythings going to be fine. I would'nt have even posted this thread. Give me some credit.

Im actualy a happy person, even more so since embracing my spirituality. But that does'nt answer the question of what should you do if your energy is'nt a possitive one.

To try and pass it off as deppresion shows me that you dont take it seriousely. How would you feel if i said you should go and see a doctor because your to possitive.

I appreciate where your coming form but deppresion and anxiety dont even enter the equation.



posted on Dec, 24 2009 @ 08:01 PM
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Originally posted by Simulacra

Originally posted by Algebra
So when i meditate should i embrace negative energys instead of possitive ones?


Why would someone ever seriously pose that question?


Come on then you cant just say that and not follow it up. You obviously disagree but why?

Or maybe you dont even know your self?



posted on Dec, 24 2009 @ 08:12 PM
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Energy can neither be created or destroyed.

Take a car battery. It has a positive pole and a negative pole.

The energy in the battery though is neutral.

Energy within you is neutral like a battery.

The energy in order to be put to use, or converted from energy into action, must pass through the human will, the brain, and be changed to produce action.

The brain therefore operates on command and decision of your will.
The brain can be trained to think positive or think negative.



posted on Dec, 24 2009 @ 08:19 PM
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reply to post by Algebra
 


Hey Algebra !

What kind of environment do you live/work or study in ? Is it calm /steady / hectic ?

As a musician you no doubt listen to a lot of music , what percentage of it would you describe as negative ?

What i`m getting at is , are you `marinating` in negative influences .



posted on Dec, 24 2009 @ 08:27 PM
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Originally posted by fmcanarney
Energy can neither be created or destroyed.

Take a car battery. It has a positive pole and a negative pole.

The energy in the battery though is neutral.

Energy within you is neutral like a battery.

The energy in order to be put to use, or converted from energy into action, must pass through the human will, the brain, and be changed to produce action.

The brain therefore operates on command and decision of your will.
The brain can be trained to think positive or think negative.



O.K now you put it that way it makes sense.

So in actual fact whether i realise it or not im the creator of the negative energy. This leaves me with more questions than answers.

So why does it seem more natural to me then possitive energy and how can i be happy despite aparently converting my energy in to negative? Does this mean i was born to do this and should i just embrace it. It seems to deep seeded to imagine changing it now.

So getting back to my original question, if i did embrace it is there any point in embracing my spirituality at all? Or could i just embrace a negative spirituality. What ever that is.

You talk a lot of sense thanks for your post.

[edit on 24-12-2009 by Algebra]



posted on Dec, 24 2009 @ 08:32 PM
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Originally posted by UmbraSumus
reply to post by Algebra
 


Hey Algebra !

What kind of environment do you live/work or study in ? Is it calm /steady / hectic ?

As a musician you no doubt listen to a lot of music , what percentage of it would you describe as negative ?

What i`m getting at is , are you `marinating` in negative influences .


Hi
yes on the music front but no to all the rest. Im actually a calm person and some would say a little too relaxed. (im not lazy ok) lol



posted on Dec, 24 2009 @ 08:39 PM
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Originally posted by Algebra

Originally posted by Night Star
Could just be depression/anxiety. See your doctor. Could just be a bad habit of thinking as the glass half empty instead of half full. If so, you can re-train your thought patterns. I know there is answer for you somewhere. I would first talk to a doctor and see what they reccomend. In any case, you don't have to leave your spirituality behind. You just need to feel better first. Good luck and Merry Christmas!


If it was as simple as going to see a doctor for some happy pills or an appointment with someone who'll tell me everythings going to be fine. I would'nt have even posted this thread. Give me some credit.

Im actualy a happy person, even more so since embracing my spirituality. But that does'nt answer the question of what should you do if your energy is'nt a possitive one.

To try and pass it off as deppresion shows me that you dont take it seriousely. How would you feel if i said you should go and see a doctor because your to possitive.

I appreciate where your coming form but deppresion and anxiety dont even enter the equation.


I come here to help and you insult me? gee, thanks.
I know of a few people who have depression/anxiety. It doesn't mean they walk around all oh whoa is me and crying, or worried and bitchy. They too always felt negative energy. They did get on medication and no longer feel as bad. If I didn't take your thread seriously, I wouldn't have wasted my time coming here. Perhaps I should have thought more before posting. I admit, things have been hectic for me and I am tired, But I am not the kind of person who would come into your thread and not take you seriously. Hope someone can give you the wisdom and insight you are seeking.



posted on Dec, 24 2009 @ 08:45 PM
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Originally posted by Night Star

Originally posted by Algebra

Originally posted by Night Star
Could just be depression/anxiety. See your doctor. Could just be a bad habit of thinking as the glass half empty instead of half full. If so, you can re-train your thought patterns. I know there is answer for you somewhere. I would first talk to a doctor and see what they reccomend. In any case, you don't have to leave your spirituality behind. You just need to feel better first. Good luck and Merry Christmas!


If it was as simple as going to see a doctor for some happy pills or an appointment with someone who'll tell me everythings going to be fine. I would'nt have even posted this thread. Give me some credit.

Im actualy a happy person, even more so since embracing my spirituality. But that does'nt answer the question of what should you do if your energy is'nt a possitive one.

To try and pass it off as deppresion shows me that you dont take it seriousely. How would you feel if i said you should go and see a doctor because your to possitive.

I appreciate where your coming form but deppresion and anxiety dont even enter the equation.


I come here to help and you insult me? gee, thanks.
I know of a few people who have depression/anxiety. It doesn't mean they walk around all oh whoa is me and crying, or worried and bitchy. They too always felt negative energy. They did get on medication and no longer feel as bad. If I didn't take your thread seriously, I wouldn't have wasted my time coming here. Perhaps I should have thought more before posting. I admit, things have been hectic for me and I am tired, But I am not the kind of person who would come into your thread and not take you seriously. Hope someone can give you the wisdom and insight you are seeking.


Im a little tetchy myself at the minute and appologies for insulting you . That was,nt my intention. retrospective is a wonderfull thing. I appreciate you taking the time to answer my post and thanks.

Just a bit tired myself at the moment i think.

Happy holidays.



posted on Dec, 24 2009 @ 08:45 PM
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Its perfectly normal what you think and feel bro...you are a musician

Ask any musician or artist if they have felt or thought this way and you will get a 100% absolutely

What we resist persists...
SURRENDER

a mentor of mine one time told me...Sometimes we just have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

[edit on 24-12-2009 by superluminal11]



posted on Dec, 24 2009 @ 08:48 PM
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Originally posted by superluminal11
Its perfectly normal what you think and feel bro...you are a musician

Ask any musician or artist if they have felt or thought this way and you will get a 100% absolutely

What we resist persists...
SURRENDER


I have no doubt my friend thanks. maybe i should be channeling this eh!
Theres probably an album somewhere here.



posted on Dec, 24 2009 @ 08:59 PM
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reply to post by Algebra
 


Bro just let it wash over ya and create..I have seen people make it big doing this.

Like yoda says:
USE THE FORCE-feel it around, in and through your being...

I have been without a guitar for quite sometime now. I'm surprised I havent been comitted to an insane asylum yet.

Next week Im getting me a rig thank God

Digitech RP350 CUBASE recording software, and Laguna electric guitar. I never thought id buy a Laguna...lmao
Dude...it plays better than the Ibanez i had



posted on Dec, 24 2009 @ 09:00 PM
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Apology accepted. Happy Holidays!



posted on Dec, 24 2009 @ 09:03 PM
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Originally posted by Algebra

I believe i was born with a negative energy.


That statement really stood out to me. We are what we think. I know that may sound to some like new-age psycho-babble, but it's true. I've noticed in my own life that my feelings and energies are determined by my mindset. I don't know anyone who is sunshine and lollipops all the time; but the ones who are upbeat, at least most of the time, are the ones who seem to work at it. They surround themselves with positive pictures, imagery, sounds, music, books, quotes, and some even paint their rooms or wear particular colors to assist in attaining certain moods. You might be surprised at how our external environment can affect our mindset. You've only been working on your spirituality for two months. That isn't long. If I were you, I'd keep at it. Maybe it feels fake to you now because not enough time has passed to get acclimated to your new sense of identity. I hope this helps.


Edited to add a link for explaining colors and moods.


Colors and Moods


[edit on 24-12-2009 by gazerstar]



posted on Dec, 24 2009 @ 09:56 PM
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reply to post by Algebra
 


Brother its just the way we were born an raised, I found the easy way to deal with negative energy is to Give it to God an let him deal with it.



posted on Dec, 25 2009 @ 08:45 AM
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reply to post by Algebra
 


Resentment comes from the root word "sentaire" which means "to FEEL"

Re"sent" ment means to refeel over and over again in the here and now unexpressed and as such unresolved feelings from the past.

A feeling or emotion is born with one goAal and that is to be expressed.
A feling possesses energy. When one stuffs or squelches, or represses a feeling they also waste the energy in that feeling plus they have to use a little bit more energy to contain the feeling or emotion.

Most people stuff feelings of sad, hurt, afraid, ashamed, angry. And in the final analysis, emotion is the grandfather of action, feelings dictate behavior.

Resentment is the number one root cause of spiritual retardation, and spiritual stagnancy.



posted on Dec, 25 2009 @ 09:47 AM
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Nah, I wouldn't worry.
Unfortunately I'm not a spiritual person, I'm never into spirituality and stuff but I spend a lot more of my time in a negative state than a positive.
It's never terrible, I don't feel depressed at all. I'm just naturally pessemistic, the cups usually half-empty and I rarely imagine that the good stuff will happen, it's always bad
.

But I do try and work on that, like, I try not to be too negative around people, and I try to keep my mood up.
Strange thing is though, I'm not usually... sad just more, pessemistic. I can cheer other people up, but not myself etc.
I'm also quite a happy person, I just tend not to think the positive. If you think negative, you aren't gonna get let down.
But there's the balance between that and not believeing in yourself, which you need to get right (I fought that battle a while back, and won, I think
)

I suppose you've just gotta concentrate on the positive things in life, and if it doesn't work for you, as long as you don't feel depressed or something you can just get on with it.

Oh, and yeah, I'm a musician too LOL! Guitar and vocals
Maybe there is a correlation.


Happy Christmas!

[edit on 25/12/2009 by Ayana]



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