posted on Dec, 22 2009 @ 10:59 PM
Frankly, if you eat at Pizza Hut, you don't know WHAT you're eating.
One of my best friends used to run a Pizza Hut in Houston, Texas years ago, and something that really pissed him off was the number of
policemen who came into the Hut every day to eat free.
As most of you know, restaurants frequently feed the cops for free, for one important reason — it keeps the troublemakers and criminals out
of your place of business, right?
In my friend's case, the trouble was that his Pizza Hut was just inside the city limits, and he had to feed the city cops, and the county
cops, and the state troopers several times every day.
I mean, they arrived in groups, like 5 and 6 and 7 and more officers. Sometimes a third of the tables in the Pizza Hut were filled with cops,
and this was bad for business for a couple of reasons: For one thing, they were eating all the food and not paying; for another
thing, all these cops were scaring off the beer drinkers — I mean, Pizza Hut made a lot of money selling watered-down beer by the
pitcher, almost as much as they made selling pizzas.
So, when whole groups of cops started filing in, the beer drinkers would get paranoid and leave — nobody wanted to get busted for DUI
by a cop who saw the drinking in progress, right?
Well, all this really pissed off my buddy the Pizza Hut manager, so he decided to get rid of the cops, or most of them,
So he started loading their pizzas with rubber bands underneath the cheese before cooking. Made 'em nice and extra gooey and
chewy and completely indigestible.
Oh, yeah, if he had been caught, he'd probably still be in prison. But his plan worked — all the county cops and state troopers got such
terrible diarrhea, they stopped dropping in for freebies. He treated the city cops right, though, because he needed their occasional
The moral of the story: Don't piss off your Pizza Hut manager.
— Doc Velocity