Ok, so to continue on with some of the story.
The first few months as a moderator for the JVP website was a lot of learning for me. When I started to see spirits, and images, I couldn't really
shut it off. At first I thought it was very cool, and it was. Someone would ask me a question and I would see the answer almost immediately, it would
come right out. When I started working the JVP site it became very hard to handle. The first few weeks people would come into the chat and before they
would even say anything or introduce themselves, I would watch something happen. I remember at one point I had posted in the mod room exactly what I
was seeing because we were not ever allowed to give this kind of information out, but I HAD to post what I was seeing because it was so vivid I
couldn't keep it in. I watched as bunch of kids, around the age of 16, ran through the woods drunk. They were having a keg party, and were screwing
around,and when they came out onto the road that ran by, a car came around the corner and struck one of the teenagers, flinging him several feet,
where he died.
Shortly there after the person who was new to the chat began chatting about why she was there and told almost the exact same story as what I had
posted in the "back" room. At this point I couldn't take it anymore. Watching all of these people die, I just couldn't do it. I shut down psychically.
It was the final straw for my mind I guess. Over exposure to other peoples trauma and sorrow caused my "door" to close, and I was ok with that.
It wasn't totally closed, just closed enough to not see other peoples stuff unless I put effort into it. I was very relieved actually, as it made
being a mod much easier.
Every Tuesday they would have special chats, with some of the coolest authors I have ever had the chance to meet. Most of the time it was mediums, or
psychics giving people hints and tips, sharing their own experiences, and then at the end, if things went well, and it didn't go over the time limit,
they would give readings etc.
I really enjoyed being a part of that. Much of what they discussed were things I had experienced myself so I could relate, and it was nice to find a
place where I could do that, because for me, it is rare to find like minds.
The first special event I attended was The Responsibility of Mediumship, which was PERFECT timing for me as this was my biggest concern, that I could
screw up and hurt someone.
At one point he said "A Medium is like a surgeon with a scalpel"
I wish I could remember who the author was that evening, because those words were to effect my way of thinking forever. I learned very quickly in this
one event how dangerous mediumship can be, not for the psychic, but for the one who is searching for contact with passed loved ones. If you give the
wrong information, or misunderstand something and say the wrong things, you can damage a mind forever. Just like a psychiatrist, or a surgeon, a
psychic can do damage if they are not trained properly. I noticed through all of the mediums that spoke at JVP, one thing they all had done, they all
had gone to courses and or had belonged to spiritualistic churches, or had attended spirit circles,where everyone would sit down and meditate and pass
messages back and forth from spirit. I never had any of these things myself. I grew up in the bible belt, and all of these things were out on the
coasts, east and west. So I had to go it alone. Thank god for the internet, cause without it, I would probably still be completely lost as far as what
was happening to me.
I remember my wife one night telling me that even though all of this was cool, she was still skeptical, and I said, ok, ask me about anything,
something I know nothing about. She asked me about her dog when she was a kid. I suddenly felt sad.
I saw her dog, I saw his dog house, I saw how it had been pushed into the bushes in the back yard and left there. I felt the dogs sadness at not being
able to play, and it's constant need for attention it was not getting. I felt the love it had for everyone around it. How it got excited when the kids
would come into its view, and then the sadness when they would leave. I repeated this all back to her and she got this totally shocked look, she was
no longer skeptical. We both experienced things over the years, but now I was experiencing a lot, and I think it scared her.
One night I got up and walked to the kitchen and all of a sudden I felt this cold ribbon of air go by me, and then wrap around me. I don't know how
else to describe it other than a moving living ribbon of air. I stopped dead and just kind of felt it. Then I heard a voice in my head say look in the
living room. My wife was laying on the couch and all of a sudden she sat up and said "Something kissed my cheek!" The ribbon of air had moved too,
right into the living room. When I sat back down I could feel it moving around me, and then it was gone.
It was her mother who died when she was little.
edit on 1-10-2012 by Darkblade71 because: *slaps fingers*