Conspiracy Debunked - Santa does Exist, page 1

Santa Clause: The Official Story

Santa Clause does exist and is on the top ten most wanted list for the FBI and Homeland Security. While it has been acknowledged that The Bush Family has had close ties to the Clause family both the Bush's and the Clause's have spent decades publicly distancing themselves from ol' Kris Kringle because of his radical Elveslamic beliefs.

It is believed that Santa Clause, aka Kris Kringle aka "St. Nick", is residing in a cave somewhere in the mountainous regions of the North Pole in the Arctic region. The legend of Santa Clause and the actual historical evidence of the man are often contradictory and yet often remarkably the same. As the legend goes, Santa Clause is a jolly old soul who every year on the eve of Christmas, hijacks a magical sled propelled by magical reindeer and flies the sled into every building, home and cottage across the world "bearing gifts". This horrific act of terrorism disguised as a "religious" ritual is rumored to have been going on for more than 1500 years when the legend first began in the 4th Century where Santa then went by the moniker of Saint Nicholas of Myra.

At that time, he was considered to be a Greek Christian Bishop who lived in Lycia, once a province Byzantine Anatolia now in Turkey. This might explain why those religious "fanatics" who celebrate the "spiritual mystical" myth of Santa eat turkey for Christmas dinner, although it doesn't explain why some people eat ham instead. The option of ham might have something to do with the portrayals of Santa where he is constantly laughing in a forced hammed up laugh; "ho-ho-ho!"

St. Nicholas' fame grew rapidly with the rumors that he stole from the rich to gave cheap and gaudy gifts to the poor, however CIA reports indicate that Santa was, and indeed still is, a puppet of the corporatist New World Order that has been in existence since long before the 4th Century and he delivers these cheap gaudy gifts to poor children in hopes of creating an addiction to consumerism that will further enrich the already obscenely rich elites. The United States Congress in 2001 initiated an investigation into this matter known as the 12/24 Commission that verifies much of these rumors.

As the official story goes, St. Nick soon became the patron saint of pawnbrokers, who are often regarded as low grade loan sharks affiliated with organized crime. St. Nick, constantly on the "lam", took up the alias of Kris Kringle and moved to Germany for a while where he lived in relative obscurity until the rise of Nazi Germany. While the Nazi's claimed to uphold Christian values and as evidence for this persecuted millions of Jews, it would seem that Kris Kringle aka Santa Clause would have been right at home in this political environment. However, Kringle was a political visionary who foresaw the problems with persecuting so many Jews and causing the massive genocide that Hitler mandated with his "final solution", and recognized that these actions were liable to lead to the Jews deciding to form a nation state of their own as a right of self defense.

It was because the artist Kris Kringle, formerly known as St. Nick had close ties to the Arab Elves from the "lost tribe of Israel", Kringle correctly surmised that after the fall of the Fourth Reich, Jews would claim Israel as their homeland and displace many of his Elven brethren who lived in that region under the name of Santa's Palace Stein, or for short; Palace Stein. It has never been clear why these Arab Elves held such a hatred for Jews and yet named their homeland Palace, Stein. But, the Elves of that region are a mysterious tribe who seemingly would rather strap bombs to their backs just to blow off the arms of Jews who would pat them on the back rather than "go with the flow" and just call themselves "Israeli's".

After the Jews claimed Israel as their own nation state, many of the Arab Elves now known as the Palacesteinians, left that region and joined Kringle in the Arctic region of the North Pole where they formed an uneasy alliance with the American CIA who trained them to be guerrilla fighters in the effort to undermine the communists of the Eastern bloc of Europe. The guerrilla fighters ranks were filled with Arab Elves who were a part of a rapidly growing religion known as Elveslam. During the Cold War that lasted several decades after World War II, Kringle and his misfit band of Elves continued to fight communists and every year on Christmas Eve would break from the fighting in order to accommodate the NWO corporatist agenda of pushing consumerism by slamming their magical sled into the sides of buildings, homes and cottages across the world delivering cheap gaudy toys to children.

However, as the fight to defeat communism began to see victory at the end of the tunnel, the Elves of Elveslam were becoming a growing concern to the CIA and American foreign policy. Americans, many being quite liberal in their politics, were loosing interest in red nosed reindeer's and surly Elves. Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Kringle, now known as Santa Clause hijacked a Rudolph class sled and all the Elves shouted out with glee as Santa slammed the sled into the side of the Sears Tower in Chicago. The original plan was slam it into the World Trade Center but developers had brought those buildings down with controlled explosives the year before in order to build a shopping mall and a apartment complex known as Ground Zero.

After the infamous tragedy of 12/24 when Santa's sleigh broke several windows somewhere towards the top of the Sear's Tower, then President Bush whose family had ties with the Kringle family, declared Santa Clause, Satan Clause and an evil man who must be stopped at all costs. So, he convinced Congress to go along with a unilateral war on the North Pole and Saddam Hussein because Saddam and Santa sounded an awful lot alike, and America the Beautiful shed its immense popularity, (as the liberals liked to believe), and became known as America the Empire builders.

President Bush declared himself King George and assured the world that they were at war with toys of mass destruction and not at war with Elveslam, which he acknowledged was a benign religion and that the Elves of the Arctic were radical Elveslamic-fascists who must be stopped at all costs. He had hoped to gain a Nobel Peace Prize for this effort but alas, the award went to Gore and Obama instead.

Merry Xmas!