bad moods and ascending

reply to post by mellisamouse


It totally depends on whether they knew you personally or not, did they? If they did then that is twilight zone stuff.

Hi Double_Frick

I wrote the quote below a while back for another ATS Member on this thread who was going through similar things. It may resonate with you.
Have a great day
themuse

Originally posted by themuse reply to post by Toughiv

 

I feel you I too ride the Motivation/Procrastination seesaw. (Regularly – sadly)Sometimes I miss being a kid when I was just on autopilot.. Your Life is not about anyone else but you and what you do and how you feel about what you do and say etc is what counts here.

Pick a perception, one that works for you. A positive view obviously. Love yourself enough to make ‘standards’ that you live by and do as part of your culture. Its not about the end reward, its about how you value yourself.

What works for me is reminding myself of my integrity, what integrity means to me and then the discipline kicks in… not always on the first reminder I am only human!!

I use this one word, Integrity, to motivate myself to be honourable to myself and do what I have to do to the standard I expect from myself especially if id rather not do whatever it is I’m going to do. I say to myself, right I can look at this a number of ways, which is going to be the one that works for me positively. EG Say I have a metric fudge tonne of boring housework to do….I look at it like this - I don’t want to let myself down, I don’t want to cause myself to feel guilt or negative things about my own actions… its not very true to myself is it? I either justify my not doing said task because it can be justified without negative repercussions or I do said task because it actually gives me more ‘energy’ to do the ‘right’ thing for myself. I don’t turn off just because no one is looking.

After a while of not doing the righty by yourself, the trust and respect you have for yourself can be damaged and you can start to become lax about ‘life in general’ so to speak, your standards drop, your care factor goes below zero and things become sloppy.

Its important to value yourself, have a level of inner honour, respect, loyalty, integrity, benevolence, truth, justice for yourself. I hope this is helpful, in anyway to you. I totally understand where you are coming and wish you all the best. Have the best day

themuse

[edit on 16/12/2009 by themuse]

reply to post by Novise


Yes, thay DID know us all personally, for YEARS, one of them is in a band that sings there regularily, PLUS we are 3 of the biggest tippers in there....no one wanted to go 2 minutes out of their way for any of the 3 of us, and we are the type that allways pay for peoples cabs and take care of ANYBODY, it was whacked!

We were sooo confused!

reply to post by double_frick


Have you been doing your Reiki? You can tell me. I won't be disappointed if you haven't. Need some energy? Ask and it's yours Sweety!

Cheers and Grace,

Erik

Hi I'm new here but I think this a good starting point for me to jump into conversation

turn off your mind, relax, float down stream

Originally posted by EnlightenUp
The greatest danger I face at this moment is a waning fear of death coupled with depression.

this was the kicker yesterday, and hopefully this gem of a feeling/thought combo can be kept at bay.
eck, it like part of me wants to feel this way though. or else i wouldn't BE feeling this way!

Originally posted by bsbray11
One's spirit can be very aware, however the body has to play catch-up, including the habitual wiring of the brain.

When your internal spiritual awareness merges with your entire body, then you will really be onto something magical.

[edit on 16-12-2009 by bsbray11]

i thought i had gotten there, to be honest. hah
seems there is just one last thing that i can't make peace with. thought i had. how do you stop lamenting a choice that put you down the path you are on?! i just wish i could blink myself back to that pivotal moment and make the other decision and see where it goes. :*(
its tearing me apart and there is no way to go back, so i have to learn how to have a higher understanding of things and that all is how it is meant to be, right now.
i understand this. but yes, it does seem that my body, or my ego? have issues getting the memo. its like a war. and I am losing most of the battles thus far, but I will win the war. so i guess that means keep on trekkin...and hurtin.

reply to post by redwoodjedi


NO!
it went right out with my daily yoga! right when in came WILD and crazy kids that weren't so wild and crazy a couple months ago!
i would really appreciate some lovin reiki sent my way.

Originally posted by kyle43
Hi I'm new here but I think this a good starting point for me to jump into conversation

turn off your mind, relax, float down stream

YES. thank you! i've been getting subtle messages from myself with this exact sentiment! and now its loud and clear...as i read it in my head, anyway.

i try to do all these other things and take advice and fight and fight and cry it out. and nothing works. and i think maybe a good solution IS to just K.I.S.S. (keep it simple, stupid lol) because until i just drop it all and let myself go on autopilot for a bit i'm not going to get the mental rest i need to overcome the feelings with positivity.
thank you.
namaste!

reply to post by double_frick



See! You knew the answer to this post before you even posted it! It was right there in front of you the whole time. I knew you were a smart girl!

Please receive the Loving Light and Healing Energy coming to YOU now!

Namaste, Love, Light and Grace,

Erik

reply to post by redwoodjedi

i was feeling better this morning. and then worse. and now...thank you! i feel better already and i'm sure its still working its way throughout!
*hugs*
awesome.

Originally posted by double_frick
reply to post by redwoodjedi

 

i was feeling better this morning. and then worse. and now...thank you! i feel better already and i'm sure its still working its way throughout!
*hugs*
awesome.

You know that I love you more than you could possibly ever know, right? An infinitely immense love that is boundless with no judgement, no condemnation and all emcompassing to the point that the Love I give and shine on you is I, is you is ALL...

Soak it in and BE

I posted the Four Buddhist Seals on a thread earlier on this board. I think they can bring you some insight and contentment if you really take them in and let them dissolve any preconceived notions you may have on anything. Any thing!

I expound a little on each one to help bring them into sharper relief. See what you feel not think about them.



1) All compound things are illusory

This is the first statement of impermanence. All made things as you know, are an amalgam of pieces and parts. Take away the pieces and you are left with?....Nothing. Correct. But....YOU, Consciousness, Awareness, are still quite emphatically there.

2) All emotions are pain

This is a statement on the dualistic nature of emotions and feelings which are unique to the world of opposites. It is a pointing out of the fleeting nature of emotions and their impermanence no matter what polar extreme they fall upon. Happiness has Sadness. Hate has Love. Anger has Joy and so forth. Bliss however, has no polar opposite and I will get more into that in a bit.

The point being is that no emotional state can be sustained no matter where it falls in the entire realm of emotional existence. You cannot sustain Anger at a permanent level. You cannot sustain Happiness at a permanent level. So the pain is the suffering brought about by the inevidible realization that the much sought after emotional state will not last and is doomed to wane. It is at this point that compassion for drug addicts is easily generated as they are simply trying to maintain the euphoria and high that is perceived as a positive means to an end.

3) All compound things have no inherent existence

This is the second statement of impermance. All made things are by nature, transient and fleeting. What has a beginning most assuredly finds it's doom with an inevidible end or death. All made things rise and fall in your awareness endlessly in the present moment but YOU, as the Eternal Witness of ALL are not that. YOU are prior to it. Prior to life. Prior to death. Prior to time. Prior to space. None of those things exist in the fullness of the Eternal Moment and in that is true liberation and freedom.

4) Nirvanna, enlightenment, is beyond concept

Here is where everything said becomes obvious as a lie. Every word. All fictitious, superfluous, erroneous and self exaltant.

It is impossible to speak of this without conceptualizing it so the words then are more wisely and aptly applied as guides or a map or a pointing out.

Too often the words are mistaken for the territory and thus duality pushes on with the world of opposites, made things and beliefs proliferating suffering, discontentment and dissatisfaction by their distracting nature. Distracting your awareness to look without instead of within for truth.

It's like looking at the contrasting light around a shadow to find it's source instead of turning around to look at the actual light! Madness! Such is the plight of anyone undertaking The Great Search. Only when you have exhausted your search and give up does the revelation come. Only when you have sought to an end and found no solace is the Light within finally re-cognized and re-membered.

The world of opposites and duality at this point comes to a halt and The Witness, The Unseen Seer and all that is Witnessed and Seen collapses into the Great Catastrophe. Everything YOU look at is YOU looking at YOU. Your Original Face. The one you had before your parents were born. Prior to time. Prior to space. Prior to life and death. Only BEingness, Conscious Awareness IS.

Keep on with your meditation. You will eventually come to this point of exhausted searching where all no longer makes sense. There is no thing to know. No thing to understand. NO THING!

All made things begin to dissolve in your awareness and presence and all that is left is an infinite vastness and full emptiness that glows with a silvery shimmer that is not quite mist and not quite smoke. This....This is YOU in all of your ALLness, your BEingness from which all concepts emanate, from which all things are borned into existence and in this realization is a stillness and calm contentment and that....that is Bliss. Eternal, unmoving and All Aware.

I AM. WE ARE. ALL IS.

Namaste,

Erik

I have been feeling something very similar to what you describe. As are a few posters on this site and a few close friends of mine. The best way I can describe it is restlessness. A period of restllesness, maybe its astrological, im not to keen on this but maybe an ATS member who is could shed a little light.

I feel as if there is something calling outside of my day to day activities. Things became very mundane for me and I found myself not even able to sit through a 1/2 hour tv show with out wanting to jump out of my skin. I found it very hard to just breathe and become mindful as I normally would. I was seeking out activities that let me slip below awareness instead of above it.

A previous post really summed it up for me. We have to experience these periods of feel what its like to be completely unconscious again. It has forced me to choose more conscious activities such as meditation, playing more guitar, and reiki. I was in a lull spirit-wise and I needed to go deeper in this lull to break through the other side.

The worse it gets, take confidence in the fact that the more amazing it will be on the other side. The highs would be nothing without experiencing the lows from time to time.

I read some where that biologically, every emotion or mood that is triggered by something only lasts a minute and a half. It is only your mind that decides to continue feeling that emotion.

I wish you well and Im glad your making some progress. Look for the silver lining and trust that every moment was meant for you to experience to continue evolving spiritually.

Namaste.

I like to look at those moments as a test. We are taught something then we are tested, if we fail then we are tested again until we pass, but at the same time I think it's only natural to experiences the whole spectrum of emotion from time to time..

reply to post by gandhi


I see ego in your post.

Ego is a natural and necessary part of life.

You talk about becoming better, ascending, getting rid of bad things to become better, that's all ego. If you didn't have an ego, you would't give a crap about anything of what you just posted.

So in general a good balance is good.

Peace.

[edit on 17-12-2009 by _Phoenix_]

Originally posted by double_frick
i know now more than ever i should be focusing on raising my vibration and being of a higher state of mind. with everything i know and understand this shouldn't be difficult, but right now it feels like the hardest thing i've ever done. and worse, i am hammering in on myself for not being able to pull myself out of it even though i know exactly how to do it. its like a part of me wants to wallow in this egoic pity-party, for pretty much NO reason. there is nothing wrong in my life, but my heart hurts. i just want to cry. and yell. and run away. and sleep for a million years. this is not out of the ordinary for me, but having made so many realizations and really made huge steps for the better i didn't think i'd end up back here at the bottom. its been at least a couple weeks of trying to keep my head above it all and now i've really hit bottom. and all i can do is be angry at myself for what i am attracting! and i feel like a failure, and like a bum for not mustering up the motivation to move past this instead of marinating in it.

any thoughts? is this common for those who are ascending *as i believe(d) i am(was) before now* to teeter totter on the edge, or so it seems, before finally breaking through?

i mean, i can make as many realizations as i want but there is still part of me that is ego still and it wants what it wants and will drive me crazy apparently until i find the strength to win, for a time. but it always comes BACK! how do i stop this?!?

Well, it's always good to try and design your life and way of thinking to a more positive state.

However, maybe the problem is that you are too focused on metaphysical and "spiritual" practices. Have you considered that these things aren't even real?

Maybe you put too much focus into something that isn't working because it's not real.

Consider re-evaluating how you think of your ego. Take into consideration your past life experiences, negative or positive, and figure out what you really want. There are good and bad things to every decision we make.

Running from your ego may destroy you rather than help anyone.

Originally posted by nine0099thousand
Well, it's always good to try and design your life and way of thinking to a more positive state.

However, maybe the problem is that you are too focused on metaphysical and "spiritual" practices. Have you considered that these things aren't even real?

The practices are real. As for the phenomena being real in the literal sense of its terminology, it probably isn't very important. If it's all merely a representation of something else within the body and it's useful in transforming your being, then it's as good as real.

When one is sincere it is not going to be a smooth ride. I cannot find one single description or account of the process where in fact you don't enter hell before ascending to heaven. Who knows, maybe it's not strictly necessary to descend first because it's an individual thing.

Needless to say I was hoping I'd slide by without noticing such a thing going on in myself or would simply take the escalator straight up. No such luck. Fooey.

Running from your ego may destroy you rather than help anyone.

No, running from it protects it. Facing it destroys it. What is happening here is that it is trying to survive the onslaught and using every trick it has.

Double_frick, I hear you loud and clear, because the territory you speak of is so familiar to me.

The "dark night of the soul" is not just a catch phrase. It's a very real and VERY difficult place. All sincere wisdom-seekers and enthusiasts for spiritual awareness experience it. I think it comes from being able to see who we are spiritually but feeling unable to live that way in our mundane lives.

One of the times I hit bottom, I was sitting comfortably in the house I own, money wasn't a problem, my cats were purring around me, and nothing outside me was "wrong." Even intellectually, I counted my many blessings, yet emotionally I still felt hopeless and had a mellow nervous breakdown (a heap of human sadness, knowing spiritually that there was no reason for it). So, of course, I beat myself up about that too.

Once we wake up to any degree, we cannot undo it no matter what we do to ignore and deny it. Even after so many years, I still try to fight the depression. But, I don't think it can be avoided if one is acutely aware of the state of the world and of humanity in general.

You can use your awareness and seeming darkness to help others. Knowing the territory so well allowed me to help probably thousands of clients during the 25 years I worked to assist the elderly and people with disabilities. Many of them felt alone, as you do, and when I shared my personal experiences with them, they believed I truly understood. Only someone who has 'been there' can explain and encourage another who thinks they are alone in their 'dark night.'

Thank you for posting about your pain. Obviously, I was attracted to it because I'm familiar with the territory. The spiritual path, or path of ascension if you want to call it that, is not easy by any means. Kudos to you for not taking the easy way out because it would hurt your family so much. I believe if we take ourselves out, we will reincarnate to pick up where we left off. I definitely don't want to do that.

You're stronger than you think you are. Know from this thread you created that you are by no means alone in how you feel.

DF

Originally posted by double_frick
seems there is just one last thing that i can't make peace with. thought i had. how do you stop lamenting a choice that put you down the path you are on?! i just wish i could blink myself back to that pivotal moment and make the other decision and see where it goes. :*(

Yeah, that's why you hear so often that you should live in the "now," in the present moment. If I reflected on bad moments in my past, it would start eating at me, too. Our brains think the same things habitually, unless were learning something new. That's why I have things I have to constantly remind myself, to think about, that I've written down, so I will force my brain to learn a new perspective and go to that automatically. And you know you can still look forward to doing things that will make you forget all about whatever it is that's troubling you now.

Hi, i'm Spencer and I am 17 and fairly new to ATS. I'd like to say there is alot of compassionate wisdom contained within these replies, I am beyond thankful for these words of advice, as the core of it pertains to my life moreso then anyone would expect. More and more I am filled with hope when i come across people with like-mindedness as I.

What I have come to after thorough research, and constant epiphany's (self-realisatons) is that I cant go back to living and acting the same way I did before I 'awakened' . And living with this new perspective destroys who I use to be, and who I use to be kept me in the game, i.e. necessary to survive, especially where I live. So what I do is I keep my 'old self' (ego) in reserves so to speak, and apply it to sitations (social, work) as needed.

If you ever accidentally spew out the odd, 'alternative' or 'unknown' topic to your family or friends remember to tell them your intentions are divine, what decent human can argue with that?