You havent hijacked that plane, or bombed that school, or opened fire on innocent victims in public. You havent knocked ice cream out of a kids hand,
or passed gas in line at the bank and blamed it on an old lady. You havent even swatted a fly before.
But your level of potential "malintent" says that you might
Remember "Minority Report"? Starring that religious fanatic nut case, as a cop who hunts down criminals right before they commit a crime?
Full article here-without
Half-baked Homeland Security is spending millions to develop sensors capable of detecting a person's level of 'malintent' as a counterterrorism
Now, I dont want anyone with the intent to harm getting on a plane/bus/donkey led caravan with me. But if standing in line to get through security
doesnt make you slightly homicidal, then youve probably reached Nirvana, and shouldnt be flying anyway. You can astrally project yourself to Vegas.
, have been awarded money from DHS (a lofty 2.6 million)
and a one year testing period, to develop technology that "scans" you for bad intentions. Our security checkpoints arent enough. Theres terror out
there for god's sake! Sometimes its in your shoes, sometimes your bag, but ALWAYS in your intentions.
But wait! Dont get upset yet. So far, they are only monitoring heart rates, heat scans, eye movement., music taste, kindness to animals, likeness to
Lady GaGa....you know, that kind of stuff.
That's just invasive, and subject to false positive and being wrongfully detained-but NSA doesnt make mistakes like that.
The government wouldnt support something THAT stupid, guys.
The project will also include blood pressure, gait (gait? Huh?), facial expressions and breathing sensors.
Like I said, dont get upset. You are paying for it through your taxes, right now. It will not cost you a dime in 2012 or so, when it is possibly
It will not be limited to airports, which is frickin fantastic. Because state fairs, childrens birthdays, Wayne Newton tribute band concerts, and
Twilight Fan club Whining Fiestas, can be potentially monitored also. Thankfully, the vampires attending the Twilight club are not subject to the
scan, due to lack of body heat.
Also, vampires do not have a Fourth Ammendment Right. Because..duh...they're dead and immortal, which is why they are here to stay. However, as
a human, you might be offended by the chance of this scan maybe...slightly ignoring that Fourth Ammendment right? The rights plainly states some blah
blah about having seizures when you get searched, or if you are a clown/transvestite/birdwatcher...I dont know, something like that. Who cares,
because the malintent scan will not cause epilepsy or sexual confusion, we can be assured.
I hope this makes everyone feel safer. I feel safe. The chances of me still smuggling a kilo of dope on a plane are about the same, but I wont
have to deal with anyone in a sweaty, nervously, skittishly, bad mood......or any clowns.