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58 Signs you've been abducted by aliens.

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posted on Nov, 9 2010 @ 09:39 AM
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1) Have had unexplainable missing or lost time of one hour or more.
A) Usually after a lot to drink Yes.

2) Have been paralyzed in bed with a being in your room.
A) Does clinging to the bed after the above answer count?

3) Have unusual scars or marks with no possible explanation on how you received them (small scoop indentation, straight line scar, triangular marks, scars in roof of mouth, in nose, behind or in ears, etc.)
A) Grazed knees, strange taste in my mouth, bits of fried onion on my clothing too!

4)Have seen balls of light or flashes of light in your home or other locations
A) Only after I found the camera

5)Have a memory of flying through the air which could not be a dream, or many dreams involving flying.
A) Yes, beer again, then grazed knees

6)Have a strong "marker memory" that will not go away (i.e.: an alien face, an examination, a needle, a table, a strange skinny baby, etc.)
A) Does a police station count?

7)Have seen beams of light outside your home, or come into your room through a window.
A)I live next to a main road, so yes.

8)Have had many dreams of UFOs, beams of light, or alien beings.
A) Usually after watching a good scifi movie.

9)Have had a shocking UFO sighting or multiple sightings in your life.
A)First time I saw Chinese Lanterns

10) Have a cosmic awareness, an interest in ecology, environment, vegetarianism, or are very socially conscious.
A) I read my Horoscope in the paper

11) Have a strong sense of having a mission or important task to perform, sometime, without knowing where this compulsion is coming from.
A) yeah, it's called a 'Job', should be doing it now. No Job = No Pay = No Beer

12) Have a secret feeling that you are "special" or "chosen," somehow.
A) Beer again.

13) Have had unexplainable events occur in your life, and felt strangely anxious afterwards.
A) Woke up in a strangers bed. Felt really anxious then!

14) Have had several strange psychic experiences - such as knowing that something is going to happen before it happens.
A) I have been able to know who is calling me on my phone before I answer it. Called ID

15) For women only: Have had false pregnancy or missing fetus. (pregnant, and then not)
A) Nope

16) Have awoken in another place than where you went to sleep, or don't remember ever going to sleep. (i.e. waking up with your head at the foot of your bed, or in your car)
A) Beer

17) Have had a dream of eyes such as animal eyes (like an owl or deer), or remember seeing an animal looking in at you. Also if you have a fear of eyes.
A) woke up once with my cat staring at me in the face.

18) Have awoken in the middle of the night startled.
A) Beer

19) Have strong reaction to cover of Communion or pictures of aliens. Either an aversion to or being drawn to.
A) Yeah, wished I never watched it.

20) Have inexplicably strong fears or phobias. (i.e. heights, snakes, spiders, large insects, certain sounds, bright lights, your personal security or being alone).
A) Oh come on! Everyone has phobias!

21) Have experienced self-esteem problem much of your life.
A) Beer, usually when I've spilt it down myself

22) Have seen someone with you become paralyzed, motionless, or frozen in time, especially someone you sleep with.
A) yeah...then they usually do either a large belch, or fart and go back to snoring.

23) Have a memory of having a special place with spiritual significance, when you were a youngster.
A) Me and my friends had a tree house we'd made

24) Have had someone in your life who claims to have witnessed a ship or alien near you or has witnessed you having been missing.
A) My mother says she's seen a flying saucer, but then she does claim quite a lot of things

25) Have had, at any time, blood or strangel stain on sheet or pillow, with no explanation of how it got there.
A) Beer

26) Have an interest in the subject of UFO sightings or aliens, perhaps compelled to read about it a lot.
A) Yes. I also like zombie films.

27) Have an extreme aversion towards the subject of UFO's or aliens - don't want to talk about it.
A) Wouldn't this contradict 26?

28) Have been suddenly compelled to drive or walk to an out of the way or unknown area.
A) Yes. Friend once told me about this kebab shop, and claimed it was superb. Shut when I got there

29) Have the feeling of being watched much of the time, especially at night.
A) I live in the UK, we have almost as many CCTV cameras as people here

30) Have had dreams of passing through a closed window or solid wall.
A) I've leant on walls I thought were there, so could be considered as passing through a solid object...beer by the way

31) Have seen a strange fog or haze that should not be there.
A) Usually smoke from the kitchen when I'm cooking something after beer

32) Have heard strange humming or pulsing sounds, and you could not identify the source.
A) Kicking the side of the freezer seems to solve this

33) Have had unusual nose bleeds at any time in your life. Or have awoken with a nose bleed.
A) define unusual. Got into a fight once over an unusual topic, fruit machines.

34) Have awoken with soreness in your genitals which can not be explained.
A) Whoa! ahem, beer on that one!

35) Have had back or neck problems, T-3 vertebrae out often, or awoken with an unusual stiffness in any part of the body.
A) yes, changing the pillows seems to have solved that though

36) Have had chronic sinusitis or nasal problems.
A) Every winter I get one bad cold, so yes.

37)Have had electronics around you go haywire or oddly malfunction with no explanation (such as street lights going out as you walk under them, TV's and radios affected as you move close, etc.).
A) I can never get my printer to print straight. Digital watches never seem to last on my wrist

38) Have seen a hooded figure in or near your home, especially next to your bed.
A) Teenagers like to wear hoodies near my place

39) Have had frequent or sporadic ringing in your ears, especially in one ear.
A) I get a lot of waxey build up more in one ear than the other

40) Have an unusual fear of doctors or tend to avoid medical treatment.
A) Cant stand the dentist.

41) Have insomnia or sleep disorders which are puzzling to you.
A) Everyone does once in a while. I tend to sit downstairs and watch some crappy TV until I fall asleep again

42) Have had dreams of doctors or medical procedures.
A) Do nurses count?

43) Have frequent or sporadic headaches, especially in the sinus, behind one eye, or in one ear.
A) I get migraines, which usually goes after an hours nap

44) Have the feeling that you are going crazy for even thinking about these sorts of things.
A) I'm a parent, yes

45) Have had paranormal or psychic experiences, including intuition.
A) Isnt this the same question as No.14?

46) Have been prone to compulsive or addictive behavior.
A) I do like salted peanuts if I'm drinking beer

47) Have channeled telepathic messages from extraterrestrials.
A) erm.....nope

48) Have simply heard an external voice in your head, speaking to you, perhaps instructing or guiding you.
A) This is the police. Please pull over to the side of the road... Beer

49) Have been afraid of your closet, now or as a child.
A) When I was a kid I believed under the bed was a ghost

50) Have had sexual or relationship problems (such as an odd "feeling" that you must not become involved in a relationship because it would interfere with "something.")
A) Beer, or when the beer is wearing off

51) Have to sleep against the wall or must sleep with your bed against a wall.
A) My bedroom is not that big, so yes

52) Have a fear that you must be very vigilant or you will be taken away by "someone."
A) yeah I leave the car keys at home when I go for a drink now

53) Have a difficult time trusting other people, especially authority figures.
A) Beer! I'm sure Mel Gibson can relate to that

54) Have had dreams of destruction or catastrophe.
A) Beer and kebabs dont always mix

55) Have the feeling that you are not supposed to talk about these things, or that you should not talk about them.
A) You have the right to remain silent....

56) Have experienced many things in this list, and recall your children or parents speaking of similar experiences on occasion.
A) My father would tell me strange experiences when he had beer

57) Have tried to resolve these types of problems with little or no success.
A) well the answer is no beer, but wheres the fun in that?

58) Have many of these traits but can't remember anything about an abduction or alien encounter.
A) Dammit! Beer and Aliens!



Right, I'm off to the pub!



 
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