The same girl, every time.

Let me start off with some background information. Over the past three years I've had a shaky friendship with a girl we'll call Sarah (not her real name). We became fast friends the day we met and I soon fell for her but she happened to be in a relationship so I played the John Mayer-esque roll of the unrequited lover and waited as a best friend for the next year or so. Without getting into too much detail, she put me in the 'friend zone' and that was that, though I've been pining after her in an unhealthy way for the past couple years even as we both have gone through a couple relationships each. I often think of her as the one who didn't get away, but instead was too much for me to catch.

After intermittent spells of depression caused by the one sided love I finally distanced myself from her enough to get over her, or at least I thought I did. For about the past 6 months I've been having a series of dreams revolving around me and her being together. It's not sex, in fact it's never more than us kissing, but it's all ways her, never anyone else, and these are, more or less, the only dreams I ever remember. They're so vivid I could almost swear they were a memory, not a dream. Logic tells me that in my dreams, because I'm so used to thinking of her as the girl I love, she's nothing more than a representation of any girl I could be in love with. What i mean is if in my dream i was going to be in love with a girl, she represents that and the fact that it looks like Sarah is meaningless, she's just a physical representation of an abstract idea.

But yet these dreams still baffle me.
Why are they pretty much the only dreams I remember?
Why do I always dream of us together and never anything more than kissing?
It's never the same dream twice, does that mean anything?
I always wake up feeling depressed and lonely from these dreams, does that have any significance?
Has anyone else experienced anything like this?
What do you guys think about this?

Whenever I say anything about anybody else's dreams, I put this in the post:

Disclaimer: I don't interpret other people's dreams, but some dream motifs and characters are dreamt by many, many people, and I sometimes recognize those motifs and characters. I can tell you what several of the people who have dreamt dreams like yours have thought about their dreams, but only you can decide whether that has anything to do with your personal dream.

But this is an unusual case. You have already recognized this for what it is, and have talked yourself out of it. Then you ask yourself the one-shot-one-kill question, Why always her?, which pretty well puts your rebuttal of the obvious out of its misery.

Dreams can be deeply symbolic, but not all dreams are. What all dreams are is thinking. Your dream is always about the same lady, because you are thinking about the lady. You are thinking about the lady because if things were "only a little different," then you'd finish your buisness with her, one way or the other.

Why are they pretty much the only dreams I remember?

If you want to remember a wider sample of your dreams, then you might try keeping a dream journal. That works for a lot of people.

Meanwhile, this is the subject that interests you, and so this is the subject that sticks.

Why do I always dream of us together and never anything more than kissing?

There are plenty of candidate reasons. Since I don't know you, there is little chance of my guessing. The general area where I would look, however, is that this has already achieved "long-term relationship" status. The longer any relationship lasts, the more to it there is than just knob polishing.

It's never the same dream twice, does that mean anything?

Recurrent dreams, really the same dream over and over, often seem as if they are trying to get your attention, your waking self's attention. No need for that in your case. Lots of people experience recurring elements of dreams: characters, settings, situations, etc., but each dream is like a snowflake, unique unto itself, even while unmistakably one member of a set.

I always wake up feeling depressed and lonely from these dreams, does that have any significance?

Sure. You've been thinking about an emotionally charged subject. Those are appropriate emotions for this line of thought.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

The opposite. A few years ago, I had a nasty collapse of a long term relationship. It occupied my waking thought a lot, but (so fas as I could recall) I didn't dream about it at all. I did finally get a dream, from which I awoke intensely grateful that I had ever had such a relationship at all.

Not that that "solved the problem," but it did put a different perspective on it.

BTW, if the point of this thread is to stop having these dreams, then doing some overt act to resolve the situation (or just to end the stalemate) is probably your best bet.

If you've got the stones, then simply tell her what you've told the rest of the world in this thread. People can be weirded out by being told that they have been the subject of a dream, but you two know each other. You should talk about this, IMO.

Good luck with it.

Please read here: MY BLOG

I just found this site tonight just now, I have never been here before. But what you write about is the exact same thing (rather topic) I wrote about in my blog. So this just seems a bit strange to me. In a way I guess it's nice to know someone else has these kind of dreams. My dreams always in include the girl that is now my ex-wife. However they began a year or so before I meet her and had no idea who she was. That was some 15 or so years ago. I have these dreams almost every night and she is always at my side doing whatever we are doing in the dream. It is never the same dream. I also wake feeling alone and sad. A feeling that goes away very fast after getting up. This is all so weird.

There is a huge difference between your report and the OP's. Your dreams began before you met the woman in waking life. From your blog entry:

I have been having dreams with her in it even before I met her, I had them when we were together and I still have them to this day. I can never recognize people in my dreams, except for her. I see her clearly.

You know that your real-life relationship with "the girl of your dreams" did not work out. You mention that a decade has elapsed, and you two have had no contact in that time. You need to think seriously about a common phenomenon called anima projection, which is searchable.

If that is what it is, then working it out is really beyond the scope of an internet forum. Even definitely establishing that that is, or is not, what's going on is fraught.

So, check it out. Think about talking all of this over with somebody who provides healthcare.

Good luck with it.

reply to post by djon01


Here is something you need to do the next time you fall asleep. The day before youfall asleep, say to your self about 20 times during the day is that You'll ask her her name and where she lives.

Try it and see what happens. No more kissing

Same your not the only one. It started as a ZOMBIE apocalipse  and then the zombies disappeared. Then all these people came out and this girl came up to me. We had dinner together and we went into the forest because there was one near the town. When we where about a kilometer away we fell asleep together. We were huddled up together because it was cold. I think. Then after that I woke up in real life. This was my latest dream.

Also there's this girl I like and I think it was her. Here's what I saw. She had black hair and the same color skin as mine. She had a blue shirt and I think peach pants. Her face was blurry and that's it. Please tell me what it means.

I am 11 years old.

Also I'm new here.

Something similar has happened to me. For the past three or so months, I have had all different dreams, but with the same girl. I can't tell who she is and I've never met her before, but I can tell it's the same person. Could this mean I may meet her one day and be with her or something else?a reply to: pr0jectz