Abused, disowned- but maybe not by my REAL parents?

This is a head scratcher for sure- and to be honest- I really wonder if it couldnt be the truth:

Me and my g/f were talking this morning, and we were swapping 'war' stories about parents. My being abused, I had some real fun ones to relate- ones about the fact I know little to nothing about my parents (beyond basic, basic info)- any times I DID ask anything of them, it was 'privileged business' I didnt need to know about, The fact they abandoned me well more than a dozen times (this was DURING the abduction/ Adam Walsh scare), my sister had a lot more preferential treatment, The fact my birth certificate was a copy of a copy, etc.

After some more debate, and my bringing up something I just cannot understand- I was born in NY. I moved to fla young... yet when I went to Disneyland (First trip) while I was in the Navy... I went on the Storybookland ride- and after my trip thru Monstro's gullet, I had Deja Vu so bad, I couldn't enjoy the ride. I KNEW I had been on that ride before. Which is impossible if my version of my life were to be true- I really began to see pieces I never thought about before start to fall into place- making an ugly, and REAL disturbing picture.

Since I am not going to (and I am sure ATS would spank me with the ban hammer) divulge personal info- I would like to know the ways of looking into finding out if I could have been switched, abducted, stolen from the hospital. Heck, my Bday may not even be my Bday- who knows? I've felt like the whole thing I went thru abuse wise was something bad- but today when I had it spelled out with examples and a healthy dose of "no, it ISNT normal"... I wonder. And Therefore, kind, smart, resourceful ATS detectives- I plead in your general direction.

Not to mention... if these people have done this- I am will dump it in the media's lap and let the remaining family members roast like pigs on an open spit. Like I said- this is a theory- but for some reason I cannot explain- It seems to make sense to me. It would also make me one of the *the* oldest kidnapping victims in a long, long time....

Edited- I can say this- I was born (supposedly) in 1970, and (again, supposedly) in Albany, NY. Anyone who may remember hearing about something anywhere in the US during that time, feel free to leave the info.

[edit on 6-12-2009 by wylekat]

You could have DNA testing done. I don't know too much about it, but I'm pretty sure they can do it with hair samples. Start with a comparison test of your DNA and your mother's DNA. Then, if she's not your mother, you've got something to work with.

Even if their not your biological parents, that doesnt mean you were " switched/abducted/stolen" from the hospital.

maybe they just adopted you, or you were originally born to someone else in the family ( aunt, cousin, even sister )

I agree, you should start with a DNA test before you start digging for no reason.

A DNA test would be dandy except for 2 small details: one, I dont know where the (expletive) is, and second, said (expletive) would try to blow my head off with that moldy old revolver she owns.

You mentioned a sister, sister. Compare your DNA with hers.

Not a second line, third line or silly rule compliance.

-m0r

reply to post by m0r1arty


Again... I dont know where she is, either... Last I heard, she was a carbon copy of my mother.. I may as well try a search. At least I can defend myself against her easier. And no, I am NOT being funny.

Originally posted by wylekat
reply to post by m0r1arty

 

Again... I dont know where she is, either... Last I heard, she was a carbon copy of my mother.. I may as well try a search. At least I can defend myself against her easier. And no, I am NOT being funny.

DNA then tell us the results, it sounds like you're stretching at the moment.

I dunno.

ummm.... Try to count to ten because it's not working,what you are doing.
Uses some bad language but nothing over the top
popup.lala.com...

Maybe you shouldnt consider crazy conspiracies so much just be happy you have a family. I listened to that song and everyones got problems there is no perfect or ideal or norm, just be happy with the time you spent with them and look at the good. Maybe you could find other troubled youngsters and have some sort of group like AA or NA it might help you sort through your problems. And dont worry using another alias on AboveTopSecret isnt putting it in the medias lap and letting them roast on an open spit. You might find this interesting:
I made shapes with the numbers that were floating and rotating:

I dont know I tried to open my minds eye too much and heard and could be like a hammer. I am sorry if I bothered you in the past thought you might be this girl I used to go to class with who drives around all crazy at night and harasses or terrorizes me. They make a sport out of it or something, I dont know I am sorry there used to be this girl Mabus (3rd anti-christ of nostradamus)......

[edit on 9-12-2009 by P. O. W.]

reply to post by wylekat

reply to post by P. O. W.


Sorry- that wasnt a family I had. And I didnt even consider anything about them (other than the fact I got screwed super royal by them) Until AFTER I was given a thorough lesson in "what I should know".

Chewing gum, toothbrush etc. will do for a DNA sample - I just checked because I was sure that I had read that before when I had my genealogical ones done.

Drop by sister's place of residence. Find a reason to use the bathroom. Take toothbruth. Empty hair brush. etc.

How about your father? Know where that person is? Same deal.

Hell you could possibly even steal their current bed sheets. How many guys don't change the sheets after masterbation?

Now each test costs. So it could become expensive to do the different tests to give you different information - paternity, maternity, sibling, etc.

Have you ever requested your birth certificate from the state? That would be useful too.

You could also check with the hospital you were born in for their archives about you. The cost is usually nominal.

Do you remember where you went to kindergarten? You could request your files from that board of education - if they had year books you could drop by the school library to see if you can find your year book.

Since your parents sound like a treat, you could possibly also follow up with children's social services in the areas you lived in. I'd call and ask to speak to someone about a request for information. Often you need to push a bit to find the right section of the department. If no-one knows, then request the number and name of the ombudsman (that's what we call it here anyways) for that department. That person should be able to direct you.

The trick to this is to relate your request in a very short manner, politely, and when you hit the "I don't know" "we don't do that" say, "do you know who I would talk to?" "Do you think that your supervisor might know?" "Can you direct me to a source that might be able to help me with this?"

No isn't the right answer. Your information is yours, and you are always allowed access to it. When they tell you that they can't tell you about other people, you just reiterate that it is just for you about you.

Wyle, you should get your original Birth Certificate from New York.
When you were born were you assigned a Social Security Number?
I don't remember when that started. It has been at least 20-25 years.
Be sure to give that info when asking for it.

Take a look at these sites for info:
www.vitalchek.com...
www.health.state.ny.us...

reply to post by OhZone


I have to get it anyways- believe it or not... I think my former landlord may have stolen the copy I *did* have. I cant prove it, tho. He robbed all of his tenants of various things- hundreds of them. He got away with it 100%, too. Is he 'in' on the conspiracy? No. He's just a sticky fingered, greedy SOB with rich friend connections in the local govt.

Do I believe there's a conspiracy? Ummm- for now, I'll say 'no'. At the risk of sounding self degrading- I haven't really got anything worth much to anyone. Heck, if I got robbed for valuables, the thief would leave an apology note and $$ for repairs to whatever door or window he broke into!

Here's what I *think* may have happened- my parents' original kid they had died in the hospital, they wanted another girl, and whoever did the deed grabbed me instead. "Great. We wanted a GIRL." Now, I gotta admit, to cover tracks so well for so long IS a feat.... I also think that their cute nonsense of making me feel like a complete failure was an attempt to KEEP those tracks covered. I've talent leaking out of my ears. My getting famous would have blown their stunt out of the water like a duck hitting a mine- IF this is what's happened, and they weren't just too weird and stupid for words. The Disneyland thing? Ok- that one has had me scratching my head since I went when I was 19. Almost 20 years. All the other things I thought was normal... I dont know anything about my parents past their names, and approx age. (that part, I have forgotten). I do not see, visit with, or go near what's left of that family- AND I was completely left out of the Obit for when my 'father' died. Not to mention the will..... Then again, they like shady- there's this issue about my 'grandfather's' will where I know it was filed, but I cannot find a single trace of it..... *sigh* Such is part of the craziness I have had to deal with.

So... To the ones who think this is a wild tale of forced abduction, govt agencies, aliens, UFOs, And the FBI comedy team of Fox and Moldy- I mean- Mulder... I am SO sorry to disappoint. Tho it'd be stinking hilarious if it turns out I AM someone important. The first one to laugh themselves sick will be *me*

[edit on 11-12-2009 by wylekat]

Oh- and for anyone who still thinks I am part of some govt conspiracy, or think I think so- here's a fun fact (also known as coincidence). After I posted this, and went to netflix to settle in for the night, the modem went bellyup. The tech person on the phone kept telling me 'oh, it's an outage'. The REAL tech 2 days later was telling 'what outage? I am working here with the equipment!' One new modem later.... The only conspiracy there was some lazy yahoo trying to cut corners. Still, the timing was interesting.

Request your birth certificate. The long form, that lists your parents.

If you think that certificate might not be you really, once you have your certificate, use it to request a DEATH certificate. See if you come back dead.

Once you have the birth certificate, if you think that it isn't yours and that they may not a reported an infant's death then start looking into abandonned or unclaimed dead infants/todders between that birth date and the date of your first memory involving your parents/sister.

The other possibility is to start calling institutions looking for "you." For a child that was institutionalized that might also prompt a need for replacing a child.

Other possibilities I've seen - look at family members who might have "given" a child to your parents. Mother's younger sister, that sort of thing. This happens way more than you'd think. And it is amazing how well families cover their tracks on it.

After you have your birth certificate, you could also look at a request for information from adoption records.

I'd personally start with the long form birth certificate, and an (unpleasant) trip to visit your sister on some trumped up reason. Then steal a DNA sample.

AFTER you have the DNA sample, find the chattest, rumouring mongering family member you can find and drop the fact that you are having DNA analysis run.

Don't be too specific about it. Once family members find this out, because people do not understand DNA testing very well, people will start looking to dump secrets. We had a big family secret come out because of my genealogical DNA testing - even though that testing would never have revealed that secret anyways. People hear DNA family testing, and anyone holding something suddenly wants not to be holding the cat in the bag.

[edit on 2009/12/11 by Aeons]

I'd personally start with the long form birth certificate, and an (unpleasant) trip to visit your sister on some trumped up reason. Then steal a DNA sample.

If I knew where the little ***ch lived, I would. Can she be court ordered, maybe? I also have NO contact with any other members of the family. AT ALL. I dont know where anyone is, or even what their names are...

[edit on 11-12-2009 by wylekat]

Originally posted by wylekat

I'd personally start with the long form birth certificate, and an (unpleasant) trip to visit your sister on some trumped up reason. Then steal a DNA sample.

If I knew where the little ***ch lived, I would.

Can she be court ordered, maybe? I also have NO contact with any other members of the family. AT ALL. I dont know where anyone is, or even what their names are...

[edit on 11-12-2009 by wylekat]

Your sister cannot be compelled by law that I know of.

Are either of your parents dead? If they are dead, you can request their death and birth certificates (long form), which should give you some information about the previous generation.

Those will allow you to request further documentations. Military records. Criminal justice records. Or my favourite, you may be able to request the CIA and FBI search their records.

Depending on how old you and your parents are, that might put you into the realm of some public records that are easier to comb.


You mentioned that your grandfather was dead. If you cannot locate your parents, it is possible that your can request his death certificate and birth certificate on the basis of being next of kin.

That could put you into the realm of some public records of his parents and marriage certificates.

Were your parents married? Did they divorce? Depending on the state, you may be able to request a copy of that information too.


From where they last were, are there any people living in the area that you can contact?

If they tend to be involved with the bad end of the justice system, you might be able to find court documents referring to them.

The real key to finding people is interviewing people that knew your parents probably. Take notes. Record any and all names they mention, even if they seem unnecessary.

Start with yourself.

I would get out of piece of paper and start with doing a stream of consciousness writing style.

What you remember. How old you were. How old they looked. What your residence looked like. Who your friends were. Where you played. Your schools. Your teachers. Your sister's teachers.

The reason for this is that it triggers your memories, and places you in a spot. Locality and details about the seemingly unimportant things often ties important memory bits together and can trigger you to remember things you wouldn't otherwise.

Nothing you remember is unimportant. It is important when doing stream of consciousness writing to not filter yourself. You can ignore it later if you need to.

People your parents had over. Your sister's friends. Any names or descriptions of people you ever remember them talking to or mentioning. Phone calls they made. What they talked about on the phone. Descriptions of those people.

Your friends and your sisters friends are important because their parents would have had some interaction with your parents. Even minimal, you can phone or write them and ask them if they remember anything.

Neighbours. Where they lived. Who they were. Any babysitters you ever had. Daycare you may have attended.

Phone the schools you went to and see if they have archives of paper work. Again depending on your age they may have them. In those you could find things like emergency contacts listed. That's a person worth
interviewing.

Doctors and Dentists locations that you went to. You can look up in old phone books at the library to identify them if they are no longer there. These may have files pertaining to you that list emergency contact infomation too.



Just call people up. Ask them if they remember you, your parents. What do they remember. Then ask them if they remember who your parents hung out with. If they ever mentioned a parent, sibling, cousin.

Even take notes about what they say about the qualilty of your parents. It may seem redunant, but similar patterns of descriptions can give you insight into groupings of people who interacted with them.

Do you know where your parents lived before you were born? How specifically? A city? A town? A neighbourhood? A bourough?

If you can pin down a contained area say around the time they were in high school, you can again look into finding a high school year book that has them in it. The older ones often have addresses on them.

Your parents hang out with a bad crowd that has a meeting place? A bar they went to? Drop by there and see if anyone remembers them.

Any place that you can think of that your parents would have had to fill out paperwork. Summer camps at the Y. Swimming lessons. Equipment rental locations. A childhood bank account for you. You would be surprised how many of these things will still have old information hanging around. Just recently I found that I had a record somewhere when registering my child for something. That record is 21 years old. It listed my address, phone number, parents, emergency contact, and what I was doing there.

You can cross check addresses in old phone books and directories.

Anyways. That's probably enough to get you started.

Wyle, if you know where your grandfather's estate was filed you can maybe look it up on the internet. Many places have their indexes on line.
You will have to know which County it was.

google __________________County, New York or whatever State it was.

Keep in mind that this is a relatively new practice, and they may not have old records on line.
If you are in the area you could go to the court house and ask to see the file. If it is not recent it may be in storage or it may be on microfilm. Call ahead to find out so you don't waste a trip. You can then get the copies you want.

To find a death record anywhere in the US: ssdi.rootsweb.ancestry.com...

Birth, Death, Marriage & Divorce Records - New York State ...
www.health.state.ny.us...

As to finding your sister or anyone else, have you done and internet search? such as:
www.whitepages.com...

There are other free sites, but you have to look for them. It seems that not all of them have everyone listed.

I wish I had NOT looked into this... The little (insert a LOT of expletives here!) STILL has the job my parents denied me from getting time and again. Forget a DNA sample.. I'm working up to a body. I think I want to cry. 21 years later, it just dont end.

*sigh* What did I do to who or whatever is running this nutso universe to deserve this....

[edit on 11-12-2009 by wylekat]