To Lie, or Not to Lie? The Santa Claus Dilema, page 1
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ATS Members have flagged this thread 3 times


reply posted on 4-12-2009 @ 11:55 AM by octotom
reply to post by Jnewell33



My wife and I have talked about this before. What we came to decide was that, since you're not trying to deceive the child with an evil intent, trying to deceive them to gain from it or something, it's really not a big deal. That, and it's a cultural thing and we see no harm in allowing our kids to participate in it, since we have no evil intent in talking about Santa.

Try telling a kid that Santa doesn't exist and then go to the mall around Christmas time.

Maybe this thought is only ours though.


reply posted on 4-12-2009 @ 12:34 PM by randyvs
reply to post by FireBalls





There must be something wrong with people that lie to children, especially their own. Another popular mental-illness among adults is to create fear in children to have better control. Presets and dogmas also tend to be imagniation killers, but I guess thats ok, they are "just kids" who will know better when they grow up to be zombies.


Ya I guess that's what happened to me huh.? I'd call this putting way to much on it.


reply posted on 4-12-2009 @ 12:40 PM by FireBalls
reply to post by randyvs



If you say so, I'm sure it takes a lot of effort to fabricate all those "great memories"
just my humble opinion



reply posted on 4-12-2009 @ 12:54 PM by sezsue
reply to post by Jnewell33



This is a question I have asked myself in the recent past, as well.

The reason I started questioning how harmful it might be, is because some families I know with young children are really struggling right now, and Christmas is going to be really rough.

I remember going to school after Christmas when I was young and really dreading the inevitable "what did you get for Christmas?"questions. At that time I knew about Santa, but what about children still young enough to believe?

How do children feel about themselves when they go to school and hear about the fabulous list of gifts some children receive from "Santa", if they didn't receive comparable gifts?

Fortunately, my youngest child is now almost thirteen and doesn't believe in Santa any more, so I don't have to make that decision for myself.

Looking back, though, I wish I would have realized at the time that it could be very confusing and hurtful for a child when they do find out, (my parents lied to me, what else are they telling me that isn't true) and sends a conflicting message to the child about some lies being "OK". I mean, lets be honest, for 6 or 7 years or so, we LIE to our children, while hopefully teaching them it's wrong to lie!

I don't have any grandchildren yet, and I have told all my adult children, that if I had to do it all over, I don't think I would teach my children the "Santa Lie", and I have suggested to them pretty strongly, don't do it to your children!

In this day and age, it may be easier (and a whole lot cheaper, lol!) to just skip the "Santa Lie". The more people who do it, the easier it will become.

Blessings,
sezsue


reply posted on 4-12-2009 @ 12:57 PM by nixie_nox
reply to post by Jnewell33




It wouldn't be ats unless this topic came up.
And I think most parents agree that when they have some kids they are not going to abuse this. But after a long day at work when your kid starts giving you a hard time? Yea I did it. "You keep acting like that and your going to get coal in your stocking. Santa is watching."

Which prompted my husband to say: " You said you weren't going to do that."

But alas, it works.


reply posted on 4-12-2009 @ 01:31 PM by rhiannonslair
reply to post by Jnewell33



My cousins were not allowed to believe in santa. When they grew up, they decided to have santa for their children. I suppose it depends on your beliefs. My children were raised with the santa tradition. Most of them figured out the truth before they were too old but they didn't admit it to the younger ones so they could still participate. To this day, I get presents from santa in my stocking and I'm 35. My children have never expressed resentment over the lying issue and in fact say it was a great part of their childhood.
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