Lately, I’ve Been Feeling Different, page 1

Life is for the living friend. Conspiracies can make for pretty heady experiences and feelings that are very similar in ways to when you are driving down the highway and come across a serious auto accident. Everyone slows there neck and cranes to see what’s going on.

They know there has been damage and a part of them wants to see just how bad it is and a part of them doesn’t. They know there might have been injuries and a part of them wants to see just how bad and a part of them doesn’t.

People have a curious inherent need to know that’s the part that wants to see.

They also have a remarkable capacity to justify and accept most things and to keep, keeping on and that’s the part of them that doesn’t really want to know.

Conspiracies are like that car wreck you want to see, you don’t want to see, part of you can’t help but be curious and part of you can’t help but be skeptical. Of course where conspiracies are concerned some things are harder to dismiss than others and people have more time to linger at the scene. A person wants to know how bad it is, a person also wants to believe life will go on.

It always does too for better or worse, as long as you are above ground and breathing.

Police Officers and Emergency Management Technicians see a lot of auto accidents. They don’t have to crane their necks and wonder as they are driving by. They have to stop and pick up the pieces of shattered vehicles and shattered lives.

It affects them deeply at first, stupid drunks, kids who think they are immortal driving like it’s a video game, harried self important people who had to get off that text message while driving that turned deadly. They see the carnage it causes first hand, up close and personal, they internalize it.

Only for a while though after a few years on the job they become desensitized. Another wreck, more dead bodies, another needless reason, all in another days work, and they rarely give it a second thought.

They know for the living life goes on.

Investigating conspiracies is very similar, you go through that period where the injustices and falsehoods and tragedies of the world can deeply affect you.

After awhile though you do become desensitized to it, because it is what it is and life goes on. You contemplate your own chances for successfully doing anything about it and calculate them. When the odds seem long or impossible people have a tendency to become fearful. Yet humans have a remarkable capacity to turn fear into hope, even if it means denial, or acceptance. After all life might not be that bad if you are the 1 out of 3 that survives a 2/3rds population reduction, and life might not be that bad in a thought and mind controlled police state. Who knows it might even be preferable, as happy harmonious thoughts are beamed into your head every second of the day eliminating all your unrequited desires, lusts and wants.

Acceptance, a little wiser, a little smarter, a little bit better prepared for most any eventuality you realize that life goes on, and on and on it does go on.

Today we live in an atmosphere of instilled fear, the War on Terror, a horrible economy, the slow and steady purposeful destruction of the middle class. That fear breeds anger, that anger breeds rudeness and impatience and intolerance. It’s palpable in most people especially the fear. It takes very little to turn it into anger. It accounts for much of the rudeness and much of the obsession some people have with the macabre and morbid, and the things that make up conspiracies.

Yet life goes on. As it always has as it always will.